Types of nagging:
Caring nags: “stop smoking, it is not good for your health.”
Repeat nags: “throw the bottle on the table please.” “Just now you said you’ll throw it later, the bottle still there.” “How many times I must tell you to throw it alway?”
Sarcastic nag: ” You are still washing the car? That neighbour has already finished his.”
Accusation nags: : “Why you did not clear up the table?”
Result – Advice to the naggers:
1. To me, most nagging are to get things done or put things in order but somehow over usage of nagging may destroy the relationship.
Verbal castration on your husband may put them into a defensive position from being blame and nag. This drive the nagger crazy and perhaps end up with bitter arguments or physical violence.
Nagging on your children lower their self-esteem and in the long run, they are easily demotivated to move on.
2. The more you nag, the more you feel isolated – No one likes to receive subdued rage, accusation, blame and guilt as well as continually thrust. Thus, the irritation of nags causes men to retreat, avoid even ignore those who nags.
3. Positive reinforcement is always better than nagging, the negative reinforcement. Always reward him with something you can afford (e.g. a word of thanks, smile, a kiss, special meals or dessert that he like most etc). Repeat it to reinforce the desired behavior. Always say it nicely, treat it as they are helping you rather than they should or working for you.
Handle it – Advice to the victim of naggers:
Unless you are preparing to break up the relationship else you need to learn to deal with it. some website do provide some constructive ideas (e.g. askmen.com, ehow.com). Believe it or not, what women need is simple but it is alway difficult.
1. Listen. try to listen to her. Communication is always important to get to know each other well and also to avoid undesired actions and unwanted nagging.
2. Understand what has happen. Women do not blow their top without reason. Cool her down to understand the what makes them irritated in the first place before throwing harsh words at them.
3. Understand the silence. Women usually will signals men when they are unhappy such as silent, ignore, or slight banging on things while doing her chores. If that happens, it is the time to give her your attention.
4.Remember. It is important to avoid being nag again for the same reason when you know it will irritate her.
Why women a better nagger?
What distinct women to be a better nagger form men simple due to the capacity of the language lope of the brain. This explains why women has a greater capacity for talking compared to men. From a women point of view, men don not speak much. At the same time, men view women never shut up.
As Barbara Pease and Allan Pease points out, female brain is organised for multitracking. She can watch a movie and talk over a phone plus talking to you, all the time drinking a cup of tea. Men brains are organized for monotracking. They can only concentrate one thing at a time. this explains why they often lose the plot when listening to women talk.
Similarly Dr. John Gray explains that men brain size are bigger than women brain by 10 percent but women’s have 4 percent more cells. This means women’s brain contain more nerve cells that allows their smaller and compact brain to be more efficient.
He also mentioned that men tend to use the left brain to perform task logically. While women use both sides because they have a larger corpus collosum (area that connects both brains) which means women transfer data from one side of brain to another faster than men.
When multitracking happens during nagging process, it creates a big big problem. Men feel that it is too much for them and just simply shuts off. This goes on with continuous nagging with increasing volume till the men retreats and strike back resulting in an argument.
Suggested free e-books to read:
Donald Hicks - Understanding The Gspot And Female SexualityGordon Ray Parker - Fox Hunting The Art Of Dating And Seduction
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