How To Make Women Think About You

How To Make Women Think About You Image
If you've seen the classic cult movie "Swingers", then you probably remember the part where the guys are discussing how long a guy should wait to call a woman after he's gotten her phone number.

The scene really hits home for a lot of guys because it gets down to a real-world situation that we all confront and ponder.

I get a lot of emails from guys asking me what to do in this very situation.

The more I've thought about it, the more I realize that this particular question (and the answer to it) are part of a bigger, more important CONCEPT about how to deal with women.

Let me explain.

When a guy asks me "How long should I wait to call her?" this immediately tells me a few things:

1) The guy doesn't feel like he's in control of the situation. If he felt like he was in control, then it he wouldn't ask, because it wouldn't matter.

2) The guy doesn't really "get" how male/female attraction works. If he did get it, then he'd be thinking in those terms rather than trying to figure out the exact best amount of time to wait before calling.

To put it differently, the "when do I call her back?" problem is part of a bigger concept, and once you understand that bigger concept better, then you'll have an automatic feel for when to call a woman back.

Most guys don't "get" one simple point:

If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION for you, then you must behave differently than if you want her to feel that "just friends" feeling.

In the world of ATTRACTION, things are completely different.

For instance, our moms taught all of us guys to "be nice" to women. This usually includes being sweet and complimentary when first meeting them, answering all of their questions directly, and giving them what they want when they want it.

But if you want a woman to feel that INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION right from the beginning, then you're going to have to put aside this kind of thinking, and start learning some NEW ideas.

For instance:

1) A challenge is generally attractive to women.

2) Teasing and being evasive is generally attractive to women.

3) Making fun of a woman's appearance in a flirty way, as counter-intuitive as it might sound, can lead to ATTRACTION.

I'm trying to communicate the idea that when you're dealing with ATTRACTION, you have to put aside old "normal" ways of thinking and behaving.

I would like to mention one more point before getting into the specifics here

These days, people are becoming very sensitive to having "techniques" used on them.

If a salesman uses a sales technique on us, we immediately get defensive and resistant.

If a panhandler asks for money in a way that smells of "tricks or "techniques" we pass them by without pity.

If a business treats us like a "thing" or a number instead of an individual person, we avoid them or buy elsewhere.

We humans don't like having manipulation techniques used on us, and when we detect that someone or something is using one to get the better of us, we resist.

So let's get back to the "how long to wait before calling her back" issue.

If you think about it, every situation is slightly different. One time you might meet a woman in the morning at coffee, and another time you might meet a woman at a club at 1 in the morning.

If you wait too long to call her back, I think you run the risk of seeming like you're just using a technique on her and you come across as a player who's trying to do your thing on her.

When deciding how long to wait before you call or email, I think it's important to ask yourself this question:


Here are a couple of ideas I have used with great success:

1) Email instead of calling first. I personally email the next day. I'll start with a charming email to get the conversation started and then tell her that I'm going to call in a day or two. This has the effect of making contact with her relatively quickly, but still creating anticipation because you haven't actually talked.

2) Call the next day, and make a joke about the situation. I might call and say, "Yeah, I was watching Swingers and they said to wait three days to call, but I was kind of in more of a one day mood"

If you didn't get her email address and you MUST use the phone, just do your best to avoid being AVERAGE.

I personally believe that our attention spans as humans are getting shorter and shorter. We have more and more information coming in from television, newspapers and other sources - and we're getting cultural A.D.D. I think that if you wait too long, you're risking either being seen as using a technique, or risking being forgotten altogether.

But if you make the opposite mistake and call too soon (for instance a few hours later), you run the risk of being seen as a needy Wuss who has no life.

In past newsletters, I have written about why it's important to leave immediately after getting a woman's email and/or number.

How long you should wait to call her back is a natural extension of this.

As a matter of fact, if you get a woman's email/number and then you keep coming over to talk to her, it can almost be seen as waiting 5 minutes to call her.

There's no anticipation, and it says all the wrong things.

A couple of other quick pointers for when you're making that first call:

1) Be busy. If you're going to ask her to join you for tea or something similar, make sure you mention two times that you're busy for every one time that you're available.

2) Don't linger on the phone. Make that first call short and to the point. If you stay on the phone for more than a few minutes, you're running the risk of getting into a normal "What do you do?", "Where do you live?", "Where did you go to school?" conversation. Avoid this.

To summarize, when in doubt wait a day or so to contact her again.

But more importantly, think about the situation in terms of anticipation and ATTRACTION, so when you do make contact it creates the correct context.


Suggested free e-books to read:

Reef Styles - How To Attract Online Women In Easy Way
Scot Mckay - How To Meet Women On Twitter

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Dont Compare Yourself To Others By David Wygant

Dont Compare Yourself To Others By David Wygant Image
So someone asked me a really good question, and he said, "man, I've been involved in the pick-up world, I've been doing all of this stuff trying to pick up women, and I've been at it a full year now, and there are some guys who are just better than me!"

What is funny about that is that, for one, life is a marathon - not a sprint. You can't compare yourself to other people and their accomplishments. Everybody learns at a different pace. Everyone learns things in different ways.

Not only that, but there are so many different ways to understand how to meet women - there are so many different methods. My method is more based on natural conversational styles and real inner confidence, which happens to take a little bit longer to learn and to manifest.

There are other guys out there that teach "handy-dandy pick-up lines" that you can use in an instant - and that works for some guys. But you have to realize that everybody's learning curve is different. Everybody has to learn at their own speed.

What a lot of guys fail to do is to embrace their small wins. They are always looking for the complete victory - it's almost like it's baseball preseason and you're already thinking about being in the World Series - you don't even want to play the full season, you're just trying to get to the Series.

But you've got to get up to the plate everyday and take your swings, and you also have to be okay with fucking up! It's really okay just to fuck up.

So you've walked over to a woman, you've approached her, and what you said didn't resonate with her. It doesn't mean that what you said to her was wrong; it means that you just didn't resonate with her. There just wasn't any chemistry.

You can't manipulate every single situation to work in your favor. You have to be okay with screwing up. You have to say to yourself everyday, "okay I'm going to go out, and talk to ten women today, and some of them are just not going to like me" - but what are you trying to do? What are you trying to accomplish?

What you are trying to do is to find one or two women to have an amazing conversation with. If you really think about it, you can't have chemistry with every person that you talk to. You just can't. You really need to grasp your mind around that and understand that it's okay to go out there and screw up.

If you go out there and screw up, it means that you are trying. If you are trying, then you are going to get it right, because if you practice, then you will start getting it right all the time.

You will start understanding situations better - you'll start trusting your gut instinct. Most guys don't trust their gut instinct when they first start out - they compare themselves to other people who are "better" than them - they just want to be that "better" person.

They never really think about what that "better" person went through - personally, I know what I went through, and it was YEARS of torture trying to figure this stuff out! In my 20s, I had days that were amazing, and I had days where I couldn't even spit out the word "hello" to a woman. And I couldn't figure out how I could be so good one day and so bad the next.

I used to take things personally. I would go and talk to a woman, and she just wouldn't be interested, and I would think it was something that I did. But then I realized it wasn't me, there just wasn't any chemistry between us - she wasn't vibing me, I wasn't vibing her.

You've got to realize that whatever pace you are going at is the pace that's right for you. As long as you are out there, every single day, trying - going out there, opening women up, flirting with women, talking with dudes (because you want to talk to guys too, so your conversation skills improve), listening - then you are doing well.

If you're doing the three key elements: observing (opening somebody up with an observation you made about them), having a conversation (and a conversation means listening and not just talking at that person), and leaving that person with the feeling that you had a positive interaction together, then you are going to be doing things that are right.

But you have to give yourself that permission to go out there and screw up. Most guys don't want to give themselves that permission. They think that if they don't get this one girl, it's all over - or they compare themselves to somebody else and they feel insecure. They say, "god, I've been doing this for a year!"

Think about this: how long does it take to become a good major league pitcher? Years, right? How long does it take to become Barry Bonds? Years and some good steroids, right?

How long does it take to put on a good campaign for President of the United States? Years! You are branding yourselves right now, and what you first have to realize is who you are, what you're all about, what you stand for, and what type of people you attract.

It's not about trying to win, and it's not about being better than other people. You want to be the best that YOU can possibly be.


Suggested free e-books to read:

Wayne Ross - The Complete Guide To Handling Women
Wayne Ross - The Complete Guide To Attracting Women
Anthony Berger - Improve Your Looks By 3 Notches

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