I DIDNT START BY USING DIRECT GAME. I started off and got good by learning Indirect Game, mostly by practicing indirect routines. I think starting off with an indirect approach helped me a lot. Direct Game is incredibly powerful, but it takes a certain amount of confidence to pull off. As a bootcamp student said to me recently, "You've got to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can jog."
I ultimately switched to being direct because it was more congruent with my personality, and I had more fun with it. I love the look of shock on a woman's face when you approach her and say, "You're so sexy, how are you?" It's even more fun when I'm on a date and getting intimate with the same woman a few hours later.
This article describes one of my favourite experiences with a beautiful woman I met on the street, hooked up with that night, and is now one of my closest friends.
I was walking down the street with a good friend of mine, when he spotted a beautiful Asian woman walking past (he knows I have a penchant for Asians). She looked absolutely stunning. Tanned skin, long jet black hair, big celebrity style sunglasses and a crisp summer dress; she was a vision of beauty. She was already a few steps in front of us, so I leapt after her.
I rushed up to her from behind, touched her gently on the arm to turn her around, and said, "Excuse me, I saw you walking down the street and thought, 'Oh my God, that woman is beautiful,' and had to come talk to you."
Things like leaping after a woman or starting with "Excuse me" could be try-hard with an opinion opener, but they are totally congruent with Direct Game. The goal is to come off as charming and confident without seeking a specific reaction from her. The key to achieving this is passion and enthusiasm in your delivery. The more she thinks you're being 100% genuine with her, the better she will respond.
SHE GAVE ME THAT CLASSIC LOOK THAT IVE SEEN THOUSANDS OF TIMES. The look of surprise, slight shock, and quick once-over of you to see if she's potentially interested. Unlike in Indirect Game, where you build up your value from the ground as you interact with the woman, in Direct Game you have to have high pre-approach value, otherwise she will write you off. This means looking as good as you possibly can, having very strong body language, and delivering your opener with the utmost confidence.
She giggles and asks if I'm sure that I'm not trying to sell her something. I joke around with her for about how I'm not trying to sell her something, and in fact I am trying to pick her up, which gets her giggling even more. One of the things that I've learnt in Direct Game is that if you can make her laugh IMMEDIATELY after opening directly, it completely relaxes them.
At this point, you've done something very powerful. You've shown your interest, but you've also shown them that they can have a fun interaction with you. Humour is huge for Direct Game. If you're not a funny person, you're going to have to learn to be one! There's a book by Martin Merrill called Make Women Laugh that could help. Also, watching stand-up comedy shows is great for developing a good sense of humour.
I suggest walking down the street with her for a little bit so we can talk more, and she agrees. For the next few minutes, I get to know her a little better and start building comfort with her. I also start thinking about where and how I am going to spend the next few hours of time with her.
IN DIRECT GAME, YOU CLOSE QUICKLY. When I ran Indirect Game, I would always make sure to "play it cool" throughout the pick-up. I never wanted to appear too needy, so I would wait a little while before texting or calling her, and then set up a date for a couple of days later. That way I looked like I had a busy and interesting lifestyle.
With Direct Game, you take the reverse approach. Imagine the whirlwind romancer who flies into Paris for one night, meets a beautiful woman, charms and sleeps with her that night, and then departs sorrowfully the next morning. Direct Game is meant to be THAT intense. It's as if your feelings and your passion for this woman are so strong that you can't help but act on them. Women LOVE this kind of intensity in their romantic encounters.
It turns out she doesn't have any plans as yet for the evening, so I start seeding the idea of joining my friends and me for drinks that night.
We part ways for the afternoon, and I call her a couple of hours later. We arrange to meet up at the bar that night, and then I start creating a sexual frame by sending the text, "Make sure you wear something sexy for me tonight."
SEXUALITY IS A HUGE PART OF DIRECT GAME. Most guys get it completely wrong and end up coming off as "sleazy". I teach students how to be calibrated with their sexuality, how much and when to express it. Calibrated expressions of your sexuality achieve two things: it increases her attraction to you (women like guys that are confident in the bedroom), and it makes her start reacting sexually towards you.
I remember sometimes being frustrated with Indirect Game because when I got a woman into bed, she didn't always want to sleep with me. With Direct Game, because you use sexuality as part of the interaction throughout, she comes home with you knowing full well what is going to happen - and she gets excited by the prospect.
She meets me at the bar, we talk with my friends, and then I pull her aside to a couch so we can talk in isolation.
Direct Game applies to comfort as well. I try and condense my comfort phase down to about an hour or two these days. Being Direct is about being open with your emotions. If you can tell a woman what your real passions, ambitions, and feelings are in life within an hour or two of meeting her, then you'll find that she is likely to do the same. Before you know it, you're both locked in this little bubble, where it's just the two of you talking about your innermost feeling. It should feel as if everything around you disappears.
This is the feeling you create with Direct Game. Nothing else should exist when you are looking deep into her eyes. By the way, really looking into a woman's eyes is a powerful way to convey how you feel about her. It's hard to explain in print, but people who've met me know that it's a look I can turn on or off. When you look at her, imagine that you've just had a glimpse into paradise and you get completely absorbed by it, just for a few seconds.
I ramp up the kino escalation by holding her hands as she talks to me about her past relationships. I stroke her hair from time to time so she begins to feel that fluttery feeling in a stomach and knows that a kiss is imminent.
She has told me everything that's happened to her in the last couple of years by now, and I know that the trust is there. I need to think about escalating further and closing.
I tighten the sexual frame by telling her how incredibly sexy she looks tonight. Then I tell her to stand up - dominance is a very Direct quality and increases her attraction to you - and turn her around. I whisper into her ear, "Your ass looks especially sexy."
I tell her, "I'm thinking about doing all sorts of things to you that I probably shouldn't be thinking about." She's getting turned on and responding positively to the sexual frame that I've created.
I spend a little time dancing with her, and then suggest we get out of there. At this point, she knows full well what's going to happen. When we get back to mine, I can tell she is a little nervous, so I spend more time talking with her and telling her how much fun I've had with her that evening.
Being Direct means you escalate fast. Occasionally, you will find you move forward too fast for some woman. At this point, all you need to do is spend a little more time in comfort on an ad hoc basis.
There's no need to spend three dates or seven hours with her if you can escalate faster; just make sure when she is in bed with you, you understand her and have demonstrated why you like her (qualification).
I won't go into details of the rest of the night, but neither of us got much sleep, and she has now become one of my best friends. All throughout the interaction, I never misled her about how I felt about her and what I wanted. She respected me for that, and it's one of the reasons why we're still close friends to this day. It's also one of the reasons why I love Direct Game.
CARLOS XUMA ADDS:
Yeah, I totally agree.
A lot of guys fear direct game because they perceive that it's like "letting the cat out of the bag" as to how they feel about the women, but ironically this is often what makes a man attractive to a woman.
It's the risk that a man puts out there that makes him look confident.
DONOVAN ADDS:
Carlos Xuma has a new day game program released very shortly called "REAL Day Game". The funny thing is, I'm actually really looking forward to this new program. Check it out here: http://www.realdaygame.com
Suggested free e-books to read:
Steve Scott - How To Flirt And Create Hypnotic Conversations With WomenSanford Bell - A Preliminary Study Of The Emotion Of Love Between The Sexes
Adam Gilad - Interview With Carlos Xuma
Keywords: place to pick up women body language mediafire woman dating older men body language article love life online dating business online dating chat relationship and dating advice verbal communication non verbal communication relationship advice for men dating asian girls
0 comments:
Post a Comment