BAD DATE #1
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I was on a first date with John and we were really hitting it off. The conversation was amazing, he made me laugh with every second sentence - it was perfect.
Then John did something I would never have imagined in my life. He pulled out a little blue, diamond-shaped pill and took it down with some water.
Now I'm no pharmacist, but I'm guessing that that was Viagra. My first date with John has him taking Viagra 20 minutes into our date.
We were having a good time, yes, I admit it, but my goodness, how presumptuous of him to think that I would be lying down, spread eagle in about 45 minutes time?
After dinner came and went, John winked at me, put his hand over mine and said, "What would you like to do now?" I said, I would love to go for a long stroll.
I don't think that it was what he had in mind because, although he tried to walk with me, his third leg seems to throw him a little off balance. He offered to drive me home. I refused and thanked him for a nice evening.
BAD DATE #2 VEGETARIAN VS. MEAT EATER
I'm a vegetarian and went on a date with a meat-eater. I don't have a problem with that because, well, to each his own. He knew I was a vegetarian, but he still booked our date at a steakhouse. Strike one for this guy.
Then, our first 5 minutes of conversation was about how great meat tastes and if he's going to be with a girl, she needs to at least know what meat tastes like, yada, yada, yada. Strike two for this guy.
I told him that I ate meat as a child but made the decision to stop because I was prone to high cholesterol, and now it's just a lifestyle. So he let it go. Or so I thought.
When our meals arrived, I had salad, he had - you guessed it - a rib eye, he was all but force feeding me a piece of steak. He brought his forkful of steak so close to my mouth that he smeared some sauce on my face.
I wiped my mouth, stood up, and calmly threw my salad in his face.
C Kellogg - Facts By A Woman
Dr Paul - The Ten Laws Of Being A Man
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