This Is The Comprehensive Bachelors Valentines Day Plan

This Is The Comprehensive Bachelors Valentines Day Plan Image
Mystery Method, has revealed the ultimate VALENTINES DAY dating plan. Useful and practical for any number of dating situations and circumstances.

How to handle holidays is a crucial part of relationship management. And since relationship management begins before you sleep with a woman, your Valentine's Day strategy is important, regardless of your circumstance. What you do on Valentine's Day depends on your relationship. We're going to go over:

* If you're not "involved" with a woman


* If you have dating/undefined or a Friends with Benefits situation

* If she is your girlfriend


* If you are dating her and also other women in the same city

IF YOU ARE NOT INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE:


* Do not contact her on Valentine's Day. Do not send flowers, anonymous or not. Go "dark" * A day or two after Valentine's Day (Wednesday, February 14th), call her and tell her a funny story about something that happened when you were out with a "friend" on "Wednesday". Be subtle - she'll put two and two together - and make your story take place somewhere romantic but not over the top, and, importantly, somewhere that will sound fun to her. Make the setting the background to the story. A story about a woman taking off her shoes to dance and then seeing them slide over the deck into the water while you and friend went on a dinner/cruise works better than a dry recitation of "we did this" and "then we did that". The latter be a transparent attempt to make her jealous or would brand you as a player.

* Don't ask her what she did on "Wednesday" or "VALENTINES DAY". Assume that she was either alone or with a lesser man. Don't react or be interested.

* Go out and meet women! Women who go out on VALENTINES DAY are looking for romance and to feel better about themselves. Prepare for questions like "Why aren't you with someone tonight?" and "Why don't you have a girlfriend". An okay all-purpose answer to these is to say "because I just MET you, silly" and continue on with whatever you were talking about before. A lot of these frame-control type situations are covered in more detail on Volume 5 of the Interview Series - here's the link to the backorders. There's free audio there too!

* Don't get drunk and get tempted to call someone you wish you were with.

* Don't stay sober and get tempted to call someone you wish you were with.

* A mass text message of "Happy Valentine's Day" to all of the women in your phone may prompt some women to text back, possibly revealing new or buried interest you.

IF YOU HAVE A DATING/UNDEFINED OR A FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS RELATIONSHIP WITH HER

* This is trickiest one. Valentine's Day is great for women because it forces men to reveal their intentions. You may have been casually flirting with her and playing hard to get, but as soon as you ask her out on Valentine's Day, she will know that your interest is serious. Unless she is equally interested in you, she will know that she can have you, and will therefore be more likely to be bored with the lack of a challenge. Yes, this sucks. No, it doesn't mean she's a bitch. People want what they can't have, and women and relationships are no exception. On the other hand, if she's into you and you don't offer to make plans...you may be discarded for someone who does. Sorry. This can be a no-win situation. I didn't make the world; I just live in it. The social matrix that leads to this sort of situation is explored more generally in the DVD Video Archive

* The best bet here is to go out with a mixed group (either a group of singles, or include some couples once they've done the private Valentine's Day stuff together) and invite her to "tag along". Keeps it nice and ambiguous.

IF SHE IS YOUR ONE AND ONLY SERIOUS GIRLFRIEND


* There's no way around this. Make the day special for her. Throw out all of the ideas in your head about not paying for dates, not getting in the traditional frame, etc. Do the traditional date and do it right. This is the one time a year when there should be no doubt about doing this. I'm assuming in this that you did read the header and that she is your girlfriend. You are close, passionate, have been dating for a while, etc...

* Send her flowers.

* Flowerstore is great - they have lots of great Valentines arrangements for cheap. Get Valentines orders in early, since a lot of florists are swamped as they approach the big day

* Send those flowers to somewhere she can show them off to her friends! Valentine's Day for women is in part a "who has the best boyfriend" competition. So send flowers to her work if that's appropriate, or to her apartment if she has a few roommates.

* Don't send roses. Be creative. But make it nice. That link to flowerstore has a bunch of different Valentines options that I looked at, and they are all good.

* Doing the traditional Valentine's Date means showing up dressed nicely (even in a suit). Making sure your car and house are clean for her. Making reservations somewhere nice. Doing something exciting afterwards. And, of course, enjoying how grateful she is.

IF YOU ARE DATING MULTIPLE GIRLFRIENDS IN THE SAME CITY


* Get out of town. I'm serious. There's no way a most desirable woman will see a man once a week or more, sleeps with him, and doesn't get to spend time with him on Valentines Day.

* Business-trip, family emergency, whatever it is. Leave before Wednesday and don't come back on Thursday. That's too obvious. Disappear for at least a couple of days.

* Send flowers to all of them and call all of them.

WHATEVER YOUR SITUATION


* Send flowers to your mom. This is pretty non-negotiable. If you email me over the next couple weeks about anything, I'm likely to ask if you did this. If you didn't, and you don't have a good reason, you're likely to get lectured. She's your mother. It's Valentines. This isn't that complicated.

* And your daughters if you have them. And any single female relatives. Sending flowers on the big day doesn't have to be sexual. Do something that can totally change someone else's day for the better. OK, cool? If you're single or casually dating, Valentine's Day is a giant, societally-imposed artificial break point in the normal evolution of relationships. It is not your friend. Try to make the best of it. On the plus side, if you *are* single, women are incredibly easy to meet.

YOU CAN BE LIKE ME AND HOLD A HUGE PARTY ON VALENTINES DAY, THEN ONLY THE SINGLE GIRLS COME, AND ARE AVAILABLE AND WILLING! -DONOVAN



Suggested free e-books to read:

Giacomo Casanova - The Complete Memoirs Of Jacques Casanova De Seingalt
Mffff - Living As The Center Of Attention

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This Is How To Eliminate Flaking And Get Those Dates

This Is How To Eliminate Flaking And Get Those Dates Image
Now we'll discuss how to make sure she shows up in the first place and doesn't "flake"

First, ask yourselves this:


* Have you ever made plans with a woman and not have her show up?

* Have you ever gotten a phone call earlier that day telling you that she "has to work" or "isn't feeling well"?

* Have you ever made plans with a woman and then she told you to "call to confirm"

If any of that applies to you, you need to really pay attention here. This will banish flakes forever.

First, let's review the first three phases of The Emotional Progression Model:

Attraction


Qualification

Comfort


THE BIGGEST MISTAKE MOST MEN MAKE in terms of Day2s is going for the phone number as soon as she is attracted (in Attraction) and not pushing the relationship forward. Then they assume that the woman will meet them again, and they can continue where they left off. Only to get "flaked". They never meet up.

Why? Let's look at the situation from a woman's perspective:

She goes out to a restaurant with her friends. While waiting at the bar, an interesting man approaches her. 3-5 minutes later (about how long it should take to get some attraction going), he asks for her number so they can "hang out sometime". At that moment, she genuinely would "hang out" with this man "sometime"

but it doesn't turn out that way.

See, going out "sometime" is different from going out Thursday night. To see her "sometime" all you have to do is be more interesting than doing nothing. That's a pretty low standard, so of course she'll agree to it. And, if she has nothing else to do, she might actually see you. However, most worthwhile women rarely have "nothing else to do".

So, to see her at a specific time, you need to be more interesting than anything else she could be doing, like friends, hobbies, work, other dates, or relaxing at home. That's a tough standard to meet in 3-5 minutes. Especially since over the course of the night she met a bunch of other men. Did you think you were the only man to notice her? She likes all of the attention and flirting, but she doesn't have time to go on 9 dates this week.

*A woman is going to look for reasons NOT to go out with you*

Remember, meeting up with strange men is scary for a woman. First, there are issues of physical safety. If she's not comfortable with you, she may feel the risk of date rape or worse. Less dramatically is the hyper-developed fear that many women have of being in awkward social situations. Women do not generally go by themselves to interact socially with strangers. So they bring a friend. To a man, the idea that you might not have a great time with this woman is irrelevant. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Maybe you don't care, because she's beautiful. Either way, you'll never know if you don't meet up. Worst case scenario is you cut it short early and go home. Men don't agonize and worry over whether it will be socially awkward or not. But many women do, and we need to take this into account.

It should be clear by now that a quick interaction leading to some basic attraction and "we should hang out sometime" is rarely going to lead an exceptionally desirable woman into seeing you again. She fears safety, she fears social awkwardness, and who is this guy anyway? She's busy and she only met you for five minutes. If she's really trying to convince herself not to show up, she'll wonder why you'd even call her when you only met for a few minutes and you know so little about her (after all, you spent that time attracting her as opposed to learning about her). Are you desperate? Or are you a player?

TO FIX THAT MISTAKE, MAKE SURE YOU GET INTO COMFORT DURING THE FIRST MEET.

I don't care if you only have 10 minutes. You just have to play faster. You need to qualify and get into comfort for your "time bridge" (seeing her again) to stick. If you qualify and get into comfort, you minimize ALL of the objections we just discussed.

THE SECOND BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE IS TO GO FOR THE DAY2 UNNECESSARILY

There is nothing in Emotional Progression Model that mandates meeting her again at a different time (a Day2). Sure, you may have to, like if you meet her on your lunch break and have to get back to work, but a lot of guys are used to thinking of getting a woman's phone number as something special. It's not. Phone numbers do not lead to happy social lives; relationships do.

A phone number is a tool. It's not a goal. It's not even an intermediate goal. Don't ever feel proud of yourself for getting a phone number.

In a way, a phone number is an admission of failure, even if it's sometimes an unavoidable failure. A phone number says "I am not trying to move this relationship forward right now. I am taking the risk that she will flake and am hoping to continue this later. In the worst case, I lose the relationship with her. In the best case, she meets me for the Day 2 and I'm more or less where I am now"

Make sense? A phone number never gains you anything. A Day 2 never gains you anything. All it does is give you another chance to push the relationship forward if the logistics weren't right to do so when you met her.

Here's an example from the bootcamp in LA last weekend. We took the guys to a lounge in Hollywood and one of them was deep in conversation with Suzanne, a very fit Asian woman. Suzanne's friends were happy for her to talk to our guy, because he had already won them over in A2 (as per the Mystery Method). It was about midnight. There was no time pressure. But when our student "ran out of things to say" he took her phone number and rejoined us.

This was a bad decision. All the phone number was going to do was help them meet up again to spend time together. However, they were already in the middle of spending time together. Psychologically, he wanted to "lock in" what he had "gained" so far: her willingness to give him her phone number. That's a rookie mistake.

Of course, we didn't let him leave Suzanne. We led him back to her with instructions to escalate until rejection. When the lights came on an hour later, they left to get pizza. And then to go home together. There was no need for a time bridge.

He made dozens of mistakes in picking up Suzanne. We were watching him the whole time and went over them the next day. However, because he had the guts to go for it, and because he did enough things right that he'd learned that day in our seminar, he got the girl.

READY FOR THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS?

The good news is that now that you know this, you'll never make these two mistakes again.

The bad news is that you'll still need Day 2s, and you'll still get some flakes. To banish flakes entirely, you need to use these ADVANCED tactics:

* Have something specific to do. She should plan to help you shop for your niece's birthday on Saturday, not "hang out sometime"

* Bait her into suggesting the Day 2. Let her chase you. Drop little hints ("I'm going to X" or "I'd love to do Y") and see if she tries to become part of those plans.

* Don't make the day2 (or the phone number exchange) the last part of your interaction. That *feels* like a pickup. Stay at least 5 minutes afterwards.

* Engage her friends. When she goes home her friends should be excited for her that you guys are meeting up later and not wondering who that creepy guy was. To a woman,

her friends' approval for the men she dates is very important. Much more important than peer group approval is for men.

* Focus on the Day2, not the phone number. The phone should be an afterthought (and isn't always necessary, although you take a big risk by not getting it). If she's all excited to come see you at a book reading you're going to be at the next night, you don't need her phone number. If she likes you, she'll come.

* Set up callback humor. If you have a running joke during your interaction where you have a nickname for her, and later you phone her and call her by that nickname, it often triggers a reversal to the previous emotional state. She'll be back in the world of being out, having fun, and meeting men, as opposed to whatever mundane thing she was actually doing when you called.

* If she's drinking, address it. Tease her that she won't remember anything because she's drunk. Pretend that you guys would have so much fun together, but she had to ruin it by being drunk and making it so it would be weird when you call. Bait her into convincing you that she's not all that drunk, that she's really into you, and she can't wait to hear from you. After she's said that, it becomes a lot harder for her to be flaky. Warning, don't do this unless the girl actually IS really drunk. It will annoy her if she's just had a drink or two.

While you're learning all of this stuff, you'll still get flakes. Here's what to do when she calls to tell you "I have to work tonight"

* Don't be upset. Don't lecture her. She doesn't care. All you'll succeed in doing is making her momentarily feel badly. She'll feel better once the next guy gives her attention, and she'll associate negative feelings with you. Remember, she's canceling because she's not that into you yet. [99% of the time, this is the case. Would she be canceling if it were Brad Pitt?]. Making her feel badly is only going to make her less into you.

* Just in case that wasn't clear. You planned to meet a girl at 6? You had to leave work early? Fight traffic? Cut your workout short? Miss your favorite show? Tough. She doesn't care. That's not her problem. If you tell her all of this, you just look like even more of a tool because you rearranged your life for a date with her.

* Act like a guy who has lots of women interested in him and pursuing him. If that was you, and a girl flaked, your reaction would be "OK cool" because you have lots of other girls who would love to see you and more than likely whatever it was you were going to do was something you were going to be doing anyway with cool friends. If you don't think you have that attitude down properly, try canceling the next time you set up a first date with a random girl. Listen for her casual reaction. It didn't ruin her day. It shouldn't ruin yours.

* A phrase I've had a lot of success with (credit Savoy) is "No problem, I'll invite someone else". Obviously don't use this on a third or fourth date, but when it's still casual, it's perfect.

Flaking sucks. I want you guys to banish it forever. Your social life will improve dramatically. For even more tips and tricks for making your life easier with women, check out the Magic Bullets ebook.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Juggler - How To Meet And Connect With Women
Lance Kurke - The Wisdom Of The Alexander The Great

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