Psychology Maureen Metcalf And Belindgore Resilience Through The Integral Lens Case Study

Psychology Maureen Metcalf And Belindgore Resilience Through The Integral Lens Case Study Image
I'm way behind on this, but there are some excellent articles in the current issue of The Integral Leadership Review. Resilience is one of the hot topics in psychology research - in this article Maureen Metcalf ">


Maureen Metcalf and Belinda Gore

Belinda Gore

Maureen Metcalf

This article takes a look at resilience through an integral lens. We will explore how we define it, how we applied it to a client project, our findings, and our analysis.

Our objective in writing this article is to contribute to the literature of applied integral theory about leadership development through sharing our learnings. These theories, and our application of them, are a work in process. We (Maureen Metcalf and Belinda Gore) have been teaching resilience using an evolving approach for several years. The initial work was developed and delivered by Belinda and used at MeadWestvaco, a global packaging company, which was moving the operations of a plant from Ohio to Mexico. We have continually refined the initial materials and they have become an important building block for our resilience training and coaching, as well as an important part of how we talk about leadership and the skills we help our leadership clients develop. We hope that others can learn from our experience as we continue to gain knowledge ourselves through this process.


As leaders we must remain flexible in the face of change and the unknown. In the process we evolve to better fit our shifting economic and technological environment while maintaining our focus on vision and long term goals. We believe healthy leadership development means that leaders, in the midst of continual change, actually change" themselves" as well as their organizations.

Several studies, including a book written by Daniel Todd Gilbert entitled "STUMBLING ON HAPPINESS", support the idea that, after a period of adjustment, we return to our prior level of happiness no matter what happens to us. In order for this to happen, it is helpful to take a broad perspective and remember that what we are going through is part of larger cycles, and that whatever we are feeling (good or bad) will pass.

In engineering terms, resilience is measured as how much disturbance a system can absorb before it breaks down. In leadership terms, we define it as the ability to adapt in the face of multiple changes while continuing to persevere toward strategic goals. In our very dynamic work environments we, as leaders, must build resilience in ourselves as well as in our employees.

Leader resilience focuses on the leader as a person. It is a subtle distinction, but the underlying thought is this: as a leader, I need to be personally healthy and strong to do a good job in my leadership role. If I am unhealthy as a person, I am unable to lead effectively.


MeadWestvaco, a global packaging company operating in 30 countries, is known for its brands in healthcare, personal and beauty care, food, beverage, media and entertainment, and home and garden industries. The company employs 22,000 people worldwide and serves customers in 100 nations. In 2009, an effort to strategically reduce costs and overhead included plans to close its MWV Calmar facility, a pump and dispensing manufacturing and distribution operation located in Washington Court House, Ohio.

The company consolidated production and equipment with San Luis Potosi and moved from Washington Court House to Monterey, Mexico. As an outside contractor Potosi offered more seamless scalability and featured more advanced production equipment and processes.Go read the whole article.

Tags: Maureen Metcalf, Belinda Gore, Resilience Through The Integral Lens, Case Study, MeadWestvaco, Daniel Todd Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness, Integral leadership Review, applied integral theory, leadership development, Integral, leadership, coaching, resiliency

Suggested free e-books to read:

Theron Dumont - The Art And Science Of Personal Magnetism
Johm Overdurf - Beyond Words Languaging Change Thrugh The Quantum Field
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Dream Girl Lena Headey

Dream Girl Lena Headey Image
Lena Headey was Leonidas wife on the movie 300. Lena Headey also stars as John Connors mother in the new series "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles". (cool name haha)

By the way, I saw 300 on the iMax and I have to say, I saw every part of this woman's nipple during her sex scene. It was about 4 stories big. Nice.

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Anonymous - A Young Girl Diary
Robert Anue - Evil Pattern The Door
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Man Dumps Girlfriend Using Signs

Man Dumps Girlfriend Using Signs Image
In an effort to rub salt into her wounds, a boyfriend decided to put up signs along the telephone poles along Barrenjoey Road in Bigola, Australia in what can only be called one of the most memorable break ups ever.

It starts off with a marriage proposal - nice enough. But then things take a turn for the worse when he writes, "Just kidding," and then goes on to write, "I'm breaking up with you."

If that wasn't bad enough, he gives her only 6 (random number?) days to collect her stuff and move out. I mean, wow, she must have done something pretty humiliating to him to get kicked in the teeth like that publicly. At least he didn't say her last name.

Ouch. I wonder what she must have done for him to hate on her like this. Hopefully, we'll see new signs from Jennifer tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Maria Sude - Disenchanted Evenings A Girlfriend To Girlfriend Survival Guide
Maniac High - Maniac Highs Pickup Girls Guide And Seduction Site

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Miss Universe Threesome Scandal

Miss Universe Threesome Scandal Image
MISS TRINIDAD AND TOBAGOS ANYA AYOUNG-CHEE is taking a boatload of heat because her boyfriend is claiming that a sex tape they made, which included another woman, was "stolen" from his laptop.

The tape is incredibly unsuitable for work, but in this day and age, finding out that someone has a sex tape is just so 2001. Big deal, really.

And a threesome - like what? She's the first one to ever have one?

WYATT GALLERY, her boyfriend told TMZ that he is incredibly embarrassed for ANYA AYOUNG-CHEE and hopes that she doesn't get too much flack for this. This was said after he was handed a big, fat check for the tape. Or so I'm guessing.

And although WYATT GALLERY claims the video was shot in 2007, the Miss Universe folks say that it was shot 8 months after the pageant in 2008.

ANYA AYOUNG-CHEE is hot and all, and so is her female friend (who is believed to be MISS JAPANS HIROKO MIMA), but WYATT GALLERY looks like he could use a little manscaping.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Anthony Berger - How To Get Into Threesomes
Brad P - The Buzzy Threesome Interview
Rion Williams - Mens Guide To Women

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Double Your Dating By David Deangelo Whats Your Opinion

Double Your Dating By David Deangelo Whats Your Opinion Image
Like most of you, I started with David Deangelo's Double Your Dating ebook. I think I subscribed to his newsletter after searching the topic, "How To Be More Attractive to Women". I downloaded the ebook and was reading for hours. I couldn't believe the plentora of information that this man had accumulated, and that I was now accumulating on this hard topic.

For months, I had been searching for answers to my dating problems. For a while, I over used "cocky and funny", probably for a year. This brought me many more issues. After establishing the context of it, and having researched and experienced loads more methods of attraction building, I realize more and more that the principles taught in David Deangelo's Double Your Dating, were applicable to the modern man. I just hadn't realized it yet.

I'd like to hear your story. I know many of you have had experiences with Double Your Dating. How has Double Your Dating helped you? What would you recommend to others just starting to read Double Your Dating? Any other comments?

What's your experience with David Deangelo, good or bad. I want alot of activity on this post, so I'm offering a copy of "The Blueprint to Your Inner Game Success" to the best comment left. I'll post the best comment "winner" on the next post in a few days, with a way to contact me to get it free.

Suggested free e-books to read:

David Deangelo - Double Your Dating Bridges
David Deangelo - Double Your Dating How To Change Yourself

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Female Viagra Is Coming

Female Viagra Is Coming Image
A drug that was originally designed to be an antidepressant drug is now being touted as a female Viagra because it enhances the libido in women who otherwise have low sex drives.

Several trials have already been conducted and all have been successful in treating women with low libidos thus far.

The drug is called Flibanserin, which really does nothing for my libido personally. I mean, Viagra sounds like a drug that makes men hard, but Flibanserin sounds like a derogatory way to answer the telephone.

Research shows that anywhere from 9% to 26% of women in the US suffer from low sex drive, so this drug will definitely come in handy.

The researchers took statistics from three different trials which included 1,946 premenopausal women who took either Flibanserin or a placebo. Daily doses of 100 milligrams per day showed significant improvement in their symptoms.

Unfortuantely, it was the maker of the drug who funded the research, so who knows how effective the drug actually is.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Bertrand Russell - The Analysis Of Mind
Joseph Plazo - Magnetic Attraction

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2000 Pounds Of Dynamite

2000 Pounds Of Dynamite Image
A woman met a professional bodybuilder at a bar one night and the two hit it off, so they decided to go back to a hotel room for some all night fun.

When they got to the hotel room, the guy immediately began to undress. First he removed his shirt and said (referring to his arms), "See those, baby? That's 1,000 pounds of dynamite."

The woman begins to get anxious.

Then, he continues by taking off his pants and says (referring to his thighs), "See those, baby? That's 1,000 pounds of dynamite."

At this point, the woman is aching for action and starts to touch herself.

Then, he removes his boxers and shows off his package. The woman screams in horror and runs out of the room. He runs after her only to find her in the parking lot, gasping for air.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Well," she pants, "with 2,000 pounds of dynamite and with such a short fuse, I thought you were going to blow."

Suggested free e-books to read:

David X - Rules Of David X
Dating Insider - Conversation Dynamics
Jack Morin - 10 Rules Of Anal Sex

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Dream Girl Noureen Dewulf

Dating Secrets Pursue A Healthy Relationship

Dating Secrets Pursue A Healthy Relationship Image
Success of dating depends on various factors. Today, we will discuss some dating secrets.

LISTEN MORE AND TALK LESS This is the first tip to get success in dating. The biggest advantage of this technique is that you can know more about your partners easily. However, it does not mean that you should not speak at all.

EFFORT Outcome hardly matters whet it comes to date. The most important thing is effort. You should show your true effort to your partner. Try to showoff your effort, it is important.

LAUGH Try to make him/her laugh in limits. Please make sure that you always come up with some new and nice humor. Many people do not understand this technique properly and they include cheap or bad humor. As a result, they do not get success.

CONFIDENCE Be confident and drive your dating car with yourself. Yes, you can make him/her think that he/she is leading the dating but make sure that you have a complete control over the conversation.

TOPICS Always choose a topic what he/she likes the most. Do not dare to talk about past relationships or love life.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Shawn Nelson - The Dating Resource Report
Laurie Weiss - 24 Tips For Having A Great Relationship
Michael Webb - The Dating Wizard Secrets To Success With Women

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90 Percents Would Remarry Spouse

90 Percents Would Remarry Spouse Cover
According to a CBS News poll, which I'm guessing people filled out while their spouse was sitting right next to them, reveals that 90% OF SPOUSES WOULD REMARRY THEIR CURRENT SPOUSE if they had it to do all over again.

Ah-ah-ah-choo! Sorry, it's just that I'm allergic to bullsh*t.

In 1995, 93% of people said they would remarry their spouse if they could do it al over again, so the numbers are just a touch lower.


And when said couples were asked to pick what was most important in a successful relationship, this is how it broke down:

Respect - 49%

Trust - 37%

Sense of humor - 10%

Sex - 2%

Money - 0%

Seriously? Who the hell filled out this survey? Eunuchs? Sex is an incredibly important aspect of a good relationship, but only 2% of people agree. I agree that respect and trust should be up there, but a good sex life ensures fidelity.

AS FOR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, 46% BELIEVE IN IT - of them 47% ARE MEN, 44% ARE WOMEN. I guess too many women have been burned to keep on believing in it.

Suggested free e-books to read:

C Kellogg - Reduce Your Stress
Marsh - The Ten Pleasures Of Marriage
Tony Horton - P90 Power Diet Guide

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Become A 711

Become A 711 Image
I don't know if any of you wake up cheery, but I have a rule with everyone who works with me that there are no phone calls before noon. I like to slowly wake up in the morning... whatever time that may be.

I mean, my girlfriend and I hardly talk to each other in the morning. In the morning, I go for a walk and make breakfast while she goes and gets herself ready. We rarely even speak before 11:00 a.m.

Right now, though, I have houseguests. Yes, my girlfriend's mother and her aunt are staying with us and they like to start talking to me first thing thing in the morning. So I have developed a routine. I'm friendly and I smile, but then I go down to the beach and answer emails on my BlackBerry for an hour.

My Grandmother always liked to talk to me in the morning. I can't tell you how many countless mornings I would lay in my bed with a full bladder just to avoid having her talk to me when I'd get up to go and pee.

I've never been a morning talker. Now try shutting me up at night, and that's a whole other story.

Today's topic is about learning to face your own kind of fears. What are you holding back on in your life? What is your biggest fear?

This past week has been the first of two weeks I'll have my girlfriend's family in town. The longest I've ever had family in town before now has been one week.

Hell, I was the guy who bailed on family dinners after 90 minutes. When I grew up, family functions stressed me out so much that I always had an escape route.

With guests having been here now for about a week, I have really learned so much about who I am and what is important. This has been a huge bonding experience for my girlfriend and I, and I am fully enjoying every minute of it.

What we fear has a way to cripple us and make us really terrified of the unknown. Once you dive into that unknown, however, you actually learn so much more about who you are as a person.

Do you remember the first time you were forced to dive into the water, and the fear you had about going into the water head first? Life is all about diving in head first, and just trusting that each experience will really open you up to a whole new you.

Today's podcast is about how you need to be open to all new experiences, and why the things you fear the most will actually be your most life-changing experiences.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Martin Merill - Make Women Laugh
Joan Rolson - Women Faq
John Alexander - How To Become Alpha Male

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On-line Romance

On-line Romance Image is a popular Vietnamese dating site that aims at assisting Vietnamese single ladies to connect with the men from around the globe. You have thousands of beautiful Vietnam personals to choose from. The amount of profiles increases day by day, hundreds of new Vietnamese members are joining Register for free now and start your on-line dating by browsing the Vietnamese singles' profiles, contacting them and enjoying your communication using e-mail, messaging and chat features. The site is available in English and Vietnamese languages to ease the usage of the site. is an expert in perfect matchmaking that is why so many people have found each other in this world with its help. You can read many successful stories of Vietnamese ladies and men from different countries, who joined their hearts with the help of Don't postpone your registration and maybe very soon your successful story will also be published here. The site offers valuable information and pieces of advice for a safe and successful on-line romance and dating. Friendly team of the site is always glad to help you to make your membership on pleasant and enjoyable.

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I Used To Piss People Off

I Used To Piss People Off Image
I've got something MIND-BLOWING to share with you today.

Some guys won't be able to handle this tip. Some of them will just assume I'm selling a boatload of bullshit and things could never ever work that way.

Some guys don't want to know how great their life can be.

But I believe you want only the best for yourself. So today, I'm going to show you how to make ANY girl attracted to you, even if she's with her BOYFRIEND.

Now, I'm not telling you that it's cool to steal girls from another guy. Matter of fact, when I'm dating just one girl, I can get pretty protective. But I'll tell you most girls with boyfriends are dating guys who DO NOT turn them on and DO NOT make them happy. So when you think that she's got a guy already, just remember, it's HER choice. All you are doing is having fun with her and letting

her make that choice for herself.

And one last keen observation before we get to the meat of the meal. Think about all the times you've been at a bar and seen a girl with a guy. How many times did you ASSUME they were there together as boyfriend and girlfriend? Probably 100%, right?

Now ponder this. What kind of goofball boyfriend brings his girl to a club on a Friday night where guys like us are out flirting? Most of the time when you see girls with guys out in the club, those guys are there as "friends." You know the type. They've worked together for years, and he's totally in love with her but will never ever ever ever ever actually make a move?

Yeah, that's the guy. Well, now that you know this, I'm going to show you a brain-dead simple way to turn those girls on AND get the guys on your side right away.

After all, the more friends you have rooting for you and the girl to get together, the easier it is.

Make it all about love, not war.

Let's get to it.


Thanks for the great tips and advice! Here's a question that's been stumping me for some time. What do you do when you start

talking to a girl who is with a boyfriend? This is probably one of my greatest fears of approaching girls.


Joe, Ithaca NY


You're welcome for the advice, and I feel bad that I never answered this question before.

See, it comes up all the time in our technique-packed Art of Attraction workshop (, where we cover every approach to every single situation you see and make sure you know just what to do in each one, but I never thought to write a tip about it.

Then one of our STUDENTS got so inspired from AoA that HE wrote a tip to share just what he learned in Art of Attraction with everyone. So I'm going to let the voice of experience here take over and tell you EXACTLY how he approaches hotties with guys and gets everyone loving him every time.

I used to piss people off.

Not all the time - but I did piss SOME people off, and those 'people' were usually 'boyfriends'


First, let me tell you who I am and what I learned at the recent AoA in Washington, D.C.

My name is Caleb Osborne, and I picked up a VERY important 'insiders' tip about this whole meeting cute girls thing.

We were going over approaching groups of girls and 'mixed' groups of girls where there's not only cute girls but often a guy or two.

And I figured out why I used to piss some people off.

You see, I've never been too afraid to walk up to people I don't know and start talking to them.

And I've never been afraid of the people in that group, specifically the guys - or boyfriends hanging around - I would just walk up and start talking to the girl that caught my eye

or I might have done something a little more less socially acceptable if I had been partaking of the drink that night.

I've been in martial arts my whole life and figured I could handle myself if anyone wanted to say anything.

"Screw those guys. They mean nothing to me. If I want to talk to her I will"

And I literally treated them like they meant nothing, I'd walk up - talk to the girl and totally ignore the guy.

I'd treat him like he was just an obstacle, the competition -- the one thing that kept me from hanging with the cute girl.

So now you see why I pissed certain guys off

But at Art of Attraction - I discovered there's actually a simple, easy way to not only have guys NOT pissed off at you when you want to talk to their girls - but be HAPPY to have you do it!

You want to know the secret?

It's really simple, you ready?

Here it is:

Talk to the guys first. Be cool about it.

That's it, it's that simple and that powerful!

Before this workshop, I always saw the other guys as "competition" -- but that's not the case. The other guys out there are your potential friends.

Hell, they're your potential "wingman"

At AoA you'll disover how to talk to the guys first, so they don't feel threatened (if one of the girls in the group is their girlfriend) and actually befriend them.

It's actually a really simple concept - be a cool, friendly, sociable guy - and they will respond in same!

And you know what?

They will actually HELP you talk to the girls in the group.

Because now you're no longer an outsider, you're a cool guy that knows how to talk to all the other cool guys and make sure everyone's having fun.

you're just the type of guy they'd like to see the single girl in their group flirt with

And all it takes is a simple 'frame shift' in your mind pointed out by an expert instructor at AoA.

All through high school I never had problems making girls smile, but I didn't know this.

Just like the martial arts, you can't learn this stuff on your own and think you're Bruce Lee. Or read a book and think you're a black belt.

It's real skills. It's a physical thing. It's in your body.

No matter how successful you are now with women, you'll be amazed at how much easier and fun it can be!

And if you're like me -- you'll have a whole lot less jealous boyfriends that are pissed off at you.

Talk soon,


P.S. And for you D.C. Guys - I'll see you at the next workshop!

Thanks Caleb. I love it when I see a student come in with a question and an idea and a hope that this will be what he's been looking for for years.

Then we hug goodbye on Sunday and I see a confident, happy, studly kinda dude standing before me, and I know the hotties in his town are in for a helluva ride.

That's why Art of Attraction is going from city to city now, to make them all sexier, one stud at a time.

The girls in your town are BORED. They are DYING for a fun, confident guy to show the giant BALLS it takes to walk up and flirt with them, even when they are with a "friend."

They are DYING to find a guy who knows how to make everyone love him, and knows how to spread the love with new friends instead of always trying to compete with the enemy.

And YOU are that man. You just need a coach who has been in your shoes before and now is a certified stud.

Your next step: decide who you want to be.

Do you want to be the guy at the bar looking at the girl and hating on everyone around you and the guy she's with (and probably singing "Jessie's Girl" sadly to yourself while doing it)?

OR do you want to be the MAN who sees a girl he likes and ALWAYS walks up with a smile, makes friends with the guys and makes all the girls want him?

Your call, hoss. If you want to be the man, your next step is simple. Get to Art of Attraction in your town TODAY.

After all, girls just want to make love, not war (craft).

Lance Mason

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tyler Durden - Discussion Topic Juggler Method
Nancy Stevenson - 10 Minute Guide To Motivating People

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Understand Men And How They Think

Understand Men And How They Think Cover
The ability to understand men will pave the way for better communication and stronger relationship. Men, unlike women are single minded persons. They tend to focus on only one task at the moment. Men are more objective that is why they are less emotional. Their spatial learning is better that is why when it comes to directions, men can recognize it faster and better than women. How men think is what you're going to learn about in reading this. Do you want to understand men in your life? Do you wan to discover how men think? Then you have come to the right page.


Communicate with your man in an honest and open manner. Understand men need to be told to. They have to hear it from you your likes and wants. If you want something, talk to him about it, that's what they like because that is how men think. If something bothers you about him, don't keep silent, approach him and listen to his answer.


Men like warmth and closure with their women. How men think is that they need to be nourished by their partners to be able to give nourishment in return. Care for them as if they are your child. Understand men as hungry souls waiting for touch and compliments.


Understand men are people too and therefore, have the tendency to commit mistakes. Do not expect that your man will be perfect. They may be superior most of the time but they are also prone to failures and mistakes. Do not criticize because they may feel rejected, that's how men think and look at some situations. Understand men in your life and accept them for who they are.


Destiny's Child sang it, 'all the women, independent, throw your hands up in the air...' Men like to be in a relationship with women who have the strength to be on their own whether financially, emotionally and intellectually. Understand men like women who can be a whole individual. If not, then they would assume that you cannot take full responsibility of a relationship or a family. That is how men think about being independent. How men think is that their woman should not be dependent on them.


How men think is that they need women who are courageous enough to trust them. Yes, men may be playful at times but they don't ruin the trust of their woman. Understand men need relationships that are close and sincere. If you have problems in your relationship, do not go first to your friends or to the bar, confront first your partner about it.

When you are in relationship, take chances to show to your man how much you care for him. Don't hide your care and concern from him. Show and let him feel your love. Make it evident to your actions and words for him. You will see that the love you gave is the same love you'll receive or even better because men loves their woman.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Donald Hicks - Understanding The Gspot And Female Sexuality
Steve Carter - How To Get Girls Understand What They Are Thinking

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Enjoy The Fun Of Dating With Dating Advice

Enjoy The Fun Of Dating With Dating Advice Cover
Dating is one of the hot topics in current world. Many companies are earning good profit and revenue by providing dating opportunities. These all options are very good, secure and attract huge number of young people. But dating advice plays important role for youngster because they are not aware about the advantages and disadvantages of online or normal dating. There are many anti-social people exist in the world that can harm you in many ways.

It is always advisable to keep your both eyes open while dating with anyone or using online dating services. You should not share your personal or contact information in initially stage doesn't matter how good other person behaves in front of you. Most of people force people emotionally to takeout the personal or banking details especially girls. There many incidents happened where girls want money from boys to come and meet them in their countries.

Usually, no body knows whether they are girls or boys. But it is sure that they make fake profile to trap people. According to dating advice, people always use their mind instead of heart while making any decision. Dating is a good way to find the correct partner or soul mate but don't depend on the process completely.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Dr Paul - The King Warrior Magician And Lover
James Friesen - The Fine Art Of Attraction And Seduction

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Nlp The Alwayswow Way

Nlp The Alwayswow Way Image
NLP has been defined as the "Art and Science of Personal Excellence" -this is the shortest and most succinct definition that I found.

Another is that NLP is the "Structure of Subjective Experience". Different people give different meanings to the same event and all experiences are filtered through our own values and beliefs. Simply put, what someone sees as bad and disturbing might not bother another person at all.

NLP's tools and processes assist individuals and companies to create awareness and more choice in their environment. It provides the learning to develop potential and create success - or, even helps you to create your future. It does so by unpacking your own internal structure, beliefs and values and helps to recreate experiences from different points of view.

If you, for example, lack the confidence to face a situation, NLP is helping you to discover "confidence" in you, and creates the anchor that you can live and be "confident" whenever you want.

In short, it helps to discover internal resources that are needed to overcome challenges - in my speak: To create the WoW in Life.

AlwaysWoW! Consulting Sdn Bhd now offers business coaching and personal effectiveness with Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) - contact me for an initial coaching session.

(NLP in Asia)




personal change


Suggested free e-books to read:

John Grinder - Turtles All The Way Down
Kate Ludeman - Coaching The Alpha Male
Dating Insider - The Art Of War

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Mindmastery Home Page

Mindmastery Home Page Image
Our DIPLOMA IN NLP is a fantastic way of learning some amazing NLP tools - next course May 2012.

The unique MindMastery NLP-NS PRACTITIONER COURSE follows on from the Diploma course, with the remaining two modules to complete your Practitioner certification running in July and September 2012 - email for info.

Are you already an NLP Practitioner and want to develop your hypnosis skills? The unique courses in therapeutic hypnosis ONLY for those with NLP training CERTIFICATE AND DIPLOMA IN THERAPEUTIC HYPNOSIS will run in Auckland and Wellington and Sydney (Australia) in 2012.

And the NS and coaching courses, including the ACCESSING PERSONAL GENIUS, A COURSE IN SELF-LEADERSHIP is running at various dates through the year. Contact Alan on 03 942 2103 for more details.

For those wanting to become professional NLP consultants, contact us about our options for completing Master Practitioner certification.

For all these courses, click on the embedded links, or go to the "Trainings" menu

MindMastery is the product of two internationally qualified NLP Trainers, Alan Fayter and Adrian Metcalfe, who have combined their extensive knowledge and experience in leadership, training, consultancy and personal development. Both highly trained and experience NLP Consultants and Hypnotherapists, Adrian and Alan can now offer a wide range of services and courses ranging from introductions to NLP and Hypnosis, one-on-one performance coaching, full career courses in Neuro Linguistic Programming and Neuro Semantics, and advanced courses for NLP practitioners.

MindMastery provides vocational training for those wishing to develop their skills and become coaches and therapists. These courses are extremely popular, and MindMastery teach to national and international standards, so you can be sure your certification meets the highest standards. The flexible and comprehensive MindMastery Training System allows you to develop a new career as a Life Coach, Professional NLP Practitioner, or Clinical Hypnotherapist.

We also have a series of shorter personal courses, designed and structured to give you the latest in cutting edge practical skills, ranging from personal development and self-leadership, communication skills and positive influence.

More information is available by selecting from the menu on the left, and if you would like specific information, feel free to contact us by emailing us on MindMastery is based in Christchurch, New Zealand.

To receive information about our introductory evenings in hypnosis, NLP and NS, latest news about NLP, useful hints and tips for using NLP techniques and much more, sign up for our newsletter (the link is on the left). Please be assured that your details remain solely with the MindMastery team, and you can choose not to receive information at any time.

We really look forward to hearing from you, and introducing you to the this amazing and powerful personal change technology.

Adrian Metcalfe and Alan Fayter

Suggested free e-books to read:

Don Miguel Ruiz - The Mastery Of Love
Martin Merill - Make Women Laugh

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Beverage Negotiations

Beverage Negotiations Cover
Highlighting once again the perverse way in which "dinner and drinks" capture the female mind, I will recount a recent experience that played out well, though unpredictably.

I was leaving my business partner's house in Brooklyn after a day of working on our business and I popped into a corner store for a bottle of water. Inside, two girls were buying groceries. Quickly, I asked for Kate's number, mentioning I had to get back to the city, but that she was cute and we should get together another night. That was enough - she gave me the digits.

Over the course of the next week, she got a message or two inquiring about her night, did she want to meet for a drink?, etc. I was busy and working on many girls, so she didn't get any focused attention. Then, on some random weeknight, she texted back that she could meet me uptown. I told her my corner, and she took a taxi up. I was home and when she got here, she texted, "I'm here." I texted her the building number and buzzer; it was about 9:30.

She came up and sat down. We talked. She got comfortable. The candles were flickering and the music was on. After chatting for fifteen minutes, I began to prepare the rug and pillows on the floor. She came over, took off her shoes and felt the pelt under her feet. I eased her down and soon we were on our knees, close to each other.

I kissed her. She responded and things progressed. My hand went up her skirt and her legs parted. Her panties were damp. Before long, most of our clothes were off and she was reclining on the pillows, legs slightly apart.

Clearly, this wasn't what she had anticipated. She had signed-up for a cocktail, and now she was on the brink of sex without a beverage... As I reached for a condom, she resisted. And then, to my surprise, she proffered the following: "If we do this, you'll take me out for a drink after, right?" I agreed. We had sex.

Afterwards, we dressed and walked out on Madison. Thankfully, the bars were closed and the sole option was a bodega down the street. I got a lime seltzer, and she, seeing that I wasn't going to drink, got a soda.


We walked into Central Park, sat on a bench and talked for a bit. She discussed this guy she likes, but isn't sure if he's that interested. They ride bikes around town, meet for coffee, etc. We had a nice chat and then I walked her to the train. She left, Brooklyn-bound.

What struck me most about this "date" was how Kate clung desperately to this notion of "a drink" in the face of imminent sex. I've found that to be a very female behavior: concern for irrelevant dating protocol in the midst of a highly sexual moment. I was naked, in front of her with a hard-on and she was naked, lying down and wet. I was about to enter her, and her mind was focused on getting a drink out of the night.


I know they like to feel "compensated" somehow for sex, but this is ridiculous. How can the brain allot resources to planning a beverage when it should be entirely focused on the immediate physicality of the situation? Only the female brain could do this, which demonstrates that a) women can multitask, and b) women regard sex as an instrument of barter, insufficient on its own merits as a valid activity.

As a man, I say that's pathetic and I will do everything in my power to counteract such pathological thinking.


Suggested free e-books to read:

Marty Beckerman - Generation Slut
Venusian Arts - Revelation
Dr Gabriel - Master Of Body Language In Negotiation

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America Best And Worst Cities For Dating

America Best And Worst Cities For Dating Image
Hooking that hottie is hard enough without the odds stacked against you, so the city researchers at Sperling’s BestPlaces have identified for you "America’s Best and Worst Cities for Dating."

The study is based on criteria that includes percentage of singles ages 18-24, population density, and dating venues per capita such as concerts, coffee shops, bars, bowling alleys, etc., and includes 80 metro areas in America. We teamed up with AXE Deodorant Bodyspray, which specializes in the dating game, to find out which city is revered as the D.C. (Dating Capital) of the U.S.

Land of the Longhorn

Yee haw! Austin, Texas, tops the list of best cities to play the dating game. Is the city you call home the place to find that special someone?

Best Cities for Dating

Austin, TX
Colorado Springs, CO
San Diego, CA
Raleigh/Durham, NC
Seattle, WA
Charleston, SC
Norfolk, VA
Ann Arbor, MI
Springfield, MA
Honolulu, HI

Worst Cities for Dating

Kansas City, MO
Wichita, KS
Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN
Detroit, MI
Louisville, KY
Greensboro/Winston-Salem, NC
Atlanta, GA
Pittsburgh, PA
Houston, TX
Charlotte, NC

Interesting Facts from the Top Ten

“Large cities that everyone associates with socializing, like Los Angeles and Miami, did not rank particularly high, scoring lower in categories like coffee shops per capita and flowers bought as gifts,” said Bert Sperling, president of Sperling’s BestPlaces.

“But cities like Austin (No. 1), Colorado Springs (No. 2) and Ann Arbor (No. 8) were not a complete surprise – they are heavy-populated college towns and it’s easy for young singles to get together.”

Austin, TX: Taking home the grand prize, Austin scores relatively high in everything, from frequency of dating partners to the number of establishments to meet people. Austin also has the highest percentage of 18-24-year-olds and knows how to have fun as they spent more money out socializing than any other area. Austin residents also had the highest expenditures on alcohol purchased away from home.
Colorado Springs, CO: Ranks in the 99th percentile for socializing at bars and also scores high in the dining out category
San Diego, CA: Scores high in the diversity index, which rates the likelihood of randomly meeting someone of a different race or ethnicity, and, of course, San Diego is off the charts when it comes to outdoor recreational opportunities
Raleigh Durham, NC: Has a large 18-24-year-old population and a high amount of online daters in the area
Seattle, WA: No surprise here - Seattle has the largest amount of coffee shops (great places for meeting people or gathering to rehash the previous night’s activities). It also has the highest percentage of online daters.
Charleston, SC: Ranks second in the amount of lingerie shops per capita (behind Columbia, SC)
Norfolk, VA: Came in near the top due to the exceptional amount of flowers that were brought as gifts for a special someone. Online dating was also high, in the 83rd percentile.
Ann Arbor, MI: Scores in the 98th percentile for percentage of singles and ranks high in the dining out category as well
Springfield, MA: Springfield scores high in many categories, among them are percentage of singles, health clubs per capita and bars per capita in the area
Honolulu, HI: Honolulu ranks first in the diversity index category, which rates the likelihood of randomly meeting someone of a different race or ethnicity, and scores the highest in the dining out category as well. Honolulu has the lowest number of lingerie shops per capita, probably because no one’s wearing much clothing to begin with.

Better Luck Next Time

Below are some of the reasons that large cities like Detroit, Atlanta and Houston bottomed out in the study.

18-24 population: Pittsburgh (overall No. 73 ranking) and Detroit (overall No. 77) are among cities with the lowest number of 18-24 year olds
Percentage of Singles: Charlotte, NC, (overall No. 71) is among the cities with the lowest percentage of singles
Latte, Anyone?: Wichita (overall No. 79) and Greensboro (overall No. 75) are among those cities that are home to the least number of coffee shops per capita, leaving few good places for young people to converge and trade stories after a fun night out
Remove Earplugs: Louisville (overall No. 76) scores low in the concert category; apparently the tour buses are not making a habit of stopping and rocking in Louisville
Necklaces and Bracelets and Rings, Oh My: Two of the cities where jewelry is least often bought as a gift are Detroit (overall No. 77) and Minneapolis (overall No. 78)
Ooo la la!: Houston (overall No. 72) is among cities with the least amount of lingerie shops per capita
Behind Bars: Atlanta (overall No. 74) is among the cities with the least amount of hot new bars, leaving young singles looking for places to meet potential hook ups

Reports from the field

"We've received feedback from some of the lowest ranking cities, and it appears our findings are on-track," noted Sperling. "In these cities, there are relatively few young singles and the towns are so spread out, it can be difficult for them to find each other. Some are using this study as a call to action to provide places where people can hang out and get together."

The Wichita Eagle comments about this study, "This survey might be tragically accurate. In the last year, this reporter has received dozens of complaints and pleas for help from singles ranging in age from early 20s to late 60s. Their gripes are all similar. They want to meet someone special but don't know how to do it or where to go. And they certainly don't want to prowl smoky bars waiting to be picked up and/or rejected"


AXE, known coast-to-coast for their dating game expertise, came up with the idea of finding "America's Best and Worst Cities for Dating," using 24 distinct criteria including, among others: population density, percentage of singles, frequency of hooking up, dating venues such as coffee shops, bars, and intimate apparel stores and flowers and jewelry bought as gifts.

The study is based on the most currently available figures from the Census Bureau (population characteristics and statistics), Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (frequency of sexual partners), (online daters), and criteria from leading relationship experts who weighed categories in terms of dating importance.
About Sperling’s BestPlaces

Pick up a newspaper and chances are you’ll see some of Sperling’s BestPlaces’ research. In the past few months, the research experts have conducted studies for Intel (“Most Unwired Cities), Pep Boys (Most Drivable Cities), and Most Stressful Cities. Visit for the latest studies and the interactive Find Your Best Place to Live feature.
AXE Deodorant Bodyspray

AXE Deodorant Bodyspray comes loaded in funky black cans and has names like Phoenix, Tsunami, Kilo, and Orion. To learn more about AXE products, check out their website at They’ve also developed a neat Flash feature based on our study.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Elena Petrova - Scam Prevention Tips For Online Dating
Philip Redhead - Best Places For First Dates
Gary Brodsky - Black Op And Psy Op Cia Tactics For Getting Women

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