Reader question:
I am currently dating a guy who is ridiculously gorgeous. We've been together for a couple of months and, although I'm pretty sure he likes me a lot, I get the feeling he's leading me on. Why? Well, he always flirts with my friends and always jokes about having an "open" relationship.
When we're alone, though, he makes me feel so special. Am I kidding myself that this guy is faithful or will remain faithful? Should I just leave him and find someone new? Is there something I can do to hook him so that he only wants me? Please help!
"R Don Steele's answer:
"Well, he always flirts with my friends..."
Good looking men flirt, period. Why? Because they can and women like it and that feels good and reassuring to both the man and the woman! If you want this to stop, you must tell him something like "Jim when you flirt with my friends it hurts my feelings. I'd appreciate it if you didn't."
This must be said when the 2 of you are relaxed and nobody is around. It must be a gentle request not an order or an ultimatum. If he replies with "Oh for God's sake I'm not serious", or some other way of not listening with respect, I want you to say something like, "I know, honey, and it does bother me a lot. I'd really like it if you didn't".
His response to that will let you know. I don't mean just his words; I mean if he does not stop, you are not important to him. I suggest one more try, however, this time with a tinge of anger in your voice. about it should go something like this: "Jim, it really hurts me when you flirt with my friends. Please stop." You know what to do if it does not stop.
"... and always jokes about having an "open" relationship."
GORGEOUS MEN NEED TO KNOW
Again, you must share with him that it hurts your feelings and say what you want. Be sure to add, "I only want to be with you. I love you and adore you." Just like with the flirting, if he comes back with, "I'm just kidding, can't you lighten up?" You come back by simply repeating the request. And if it doesn't stop, you know what to do.
Suggested free e-books to read:
William Cobbett - Advice To Young MenBrian Tracy - Create Your Own Future
Martin Merill - Make Women Laugh
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