"I don't know. Not much. I think I'm just going to stay home, watch a movie, maybe grab some dinner. Nothing special. What are you doing tonight?"
"I'm going to go dancing with all my friends. We're going to go out partying and have a good time."
How does it make you feel when you are the one staying home in a conversation like this? Granted, you decided to stay home.
That was your choice. You were really looking forward to grabbing some great take-out from that little Mexican place on the corner and watching that movie.
The minute you spoke to your friend who was ready to head out for a night of dancing and partying, though, you almost felt like they were having a more exciting evening than you were. In reality, your night might actually more exciting and here's why.
Picture this. When you're in a relationship, do you really want to be out dancing with a woman (or a man) seven nights a week -- or would you rather be home watching movies and enjoying great food? Which scenario more resembles the person who you are?
Do you know what I did every Friday night when I was single? I would finish working around 7:30 pm, and then I'd go to my neighborhood Whole Foods or neighborhood Thai restaurant and I would get some dinner. I would sit down at the community tables at Whole Foods or go to my friend Barry's clothing store, and I would hang out and talk to people.
I would get home by around 10:00 pm, because I am usually tired from the week. After that, I would maybe get online and answer a few emails or I would watch a little bit of television. Then I would go to bed.
I would wake up Saturday morning and go for a hike -- sometimes by myself and other times with friends -- and I would always meet people and talk to people when I was hiking.
Do you know what? I had an amazing social life.
My friends who were going out dancing and bar-hopping? Good for them that they were dancing and standing around in a bar. I'm glad that they were doing things that they love. I don't enjoy that, and I'm never going to be able to attract people in that situation.
Did I meet great people the two years that I was single? Absolutely. Did I have a great dating life? Absolutely.
Did I meet other people at that take-out Thai place? Did I meet other people at Whole Foods on a Friday night who were just like me? Absolutely.
I sometimes would go to a bookstore on a Saturday night just to check out some of the new books. Did I meet people who were just like me? Of course I did.
I don't want to meet somebody who wants to go dancing every Friday or Saturday night because you know what? That type of life is not exciting to me.
So if your friends are out dancing, partying and (supposedly) having so much fun, it is perfectly fine that you are having fun staying home. Just make sure that when you are out getting dinner on a Friday night, that you eat dinner out where you're getting the meal -- like at Whole Foods or at a great local restaurant -- and aren't just bringing it home to eat in the house.
On Saturday, do the exact same exact thing. Go out. If you were planning to have dinner at home on a Saturday night because you want to catch up on some work, go out and have dinner or at least go to a place from which you can take out so you can actually converse with other people who are staying home like you are.
You need to live with your lifestyle choices and be proud of them. So the next time someone asks you what you did this weekend, say "Man I had an amazing weekend! Friday night I went to Whole Foods to grab some dinner and ended up meeting some really cool people. We talked for a couple hours. It was fun. We ended up closing the place. Then I went home and watched a movie. Saturday, I woke up, had some coffee and read the paper.
On Saturday night, I ended up getting some Thai food, then I went to see a movie I've been wanting to see. I sat next to this great group of people, and I ended up having coffee with them afterwards and talking about the movie. I had a great weekend!"
You did have a great weekend, because that's who you are. Does that sound boring to you? Because to me that all sounds amazing.
Suggested free e-books to read:Jon Jensen - Women Tell You How To Meet Women
Sean Stephenson - How Youth Can Succeed
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