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Attracting Opposites and Feeling Connected Dear Aaron and Amy,
I have been casually dating for a while now but I never really connect deeply with anyone I meet. I am careful to choose people with similar interests and I try to avoid dating a "type." But still, I have no luck. I am thinking, maybe opposites really do attract. But how do I date someone who is my opposite? Where would I meet him? How do we begin to share a relationship if we have nothing in common?
Opposites attract the same way everyone else does: they want to have sex. A relationship with someone like minded or otherwise in which you do not want to have sex is called a friendship. Meeting people is gigantically easy these days; really it's so easy it almost feels like cheating. I can't imagine what neanderthal, pre-internet people did to meet each other, but it certainly wasn't as easy for them as it is for you. Chat rooms, dating websites, facebook or even chatroulette (if you're a pervert, psychopath or pedophile) all exist to provide you access to millions of other similarly hopeless and lonely individuals that populate every nook and cranny of wherever you live, unless it's the moon.
If you're not an internet type, which you are even if you don't think you are because this is an internet site, then what you need to do is not be afraid to meet people and be rejected. Bars exist and contain people who want relationships, (or "relationships") all over the place, but is a bit of a craps shoot. Speed dating takes place virtually everywhere and is both brilliant and pathetic, so be prepared to wade through some of the lower ranks of society if you take that route. Remember though, gold nuggets were sifted from muddy streams before technology came along and gave us Wal*mart and took our souls.
Aaron has many very deep and emotional relationships I agree with him though that opposites totally attract. They attract for sex, they attract because it is fun to interact with someone who is different, they attract because it is great to attract and be attractive. Your problem though, is that you want a deep relationship. I'm guessing you are just not being patient enough. Connections take time and experiences to develop.
If I may quote Tom Robbins, a writer who spends significant amounts of time loving, thinking about loving, and then writing about loving:
"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love."
In a world of such diversity, who knows what is the perfect match for you. Probably the person with whom you spend the most time making a connection.Good Luck,
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets
Avishai Fuksman - The Date Saver
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