We think, this is the night; this is the party or whatever thing we're meant to go to. We have this perfect idea of how the night should turn out.
You're going to talk to the woman who had that college sweatshirt on two weeks ago, because you finally have figured out something to say to her. But then she walks in wearing a different sweatshirt, and you don't have anything to say.
We have this perfect picture of the way things are going to be. And then once we arrive, the night progresses and reality begins to set in. When reality sets in, all of a sudden that perfect picture just disappears.
Our monkey chatter starts coming back, and all of the things we imagined the night to be contrast what the night really is.
Most people, when they go out, are not present at all. They are thinking about what COULD happen.
Listen to a conversation of people in a bar - the men are always telling each other, "Hey man, check her out!" You're not even listening to the conversation that you're having at that moment with your friend!
So if you dial it back a little bit and remain 100% present, the outcome will be entirely different. If you're fully present and into the conversation you're having with your friend, you're actually creating attraction. You're creating the type of night that you want to have.
You have to get this picture out of your head. We all do it - even on dates. Maybe you're on the third date and you're thinking, this is going to be the night that you sleep with her. You make her dinner at your house, and you think that everything is going to be perfect - but you didn't realize that she had a stomachache and her period.
So you come on to her a little bit, she pushes you away, and you're thinking to yourself, I don't understand! She tells you that tonight is not a good night for her, and you take it personally as either an insult or rejection. But really, it just wasn't a good night for her!
This perfect picture tends to ruin just about every night that we have. Our expectations are so strong and powerful that we ruin it.
Staying present and getting rid of expectations really give you the opportunity to expand and enjoy yourself. I've found that the best nights that I've had are the ones where nothing turned into something. My worst nights are the ones where I have expectations so let go of everything stay present and have fun.
Suggested free e-books to read:
Chris Jackson - The Perfect Love Match Free GuideMaurice Alpheus Bigelow - Sex Education A Series Of Lectures
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