In my experience, the kind of guy who spends his entire day online chatting with women is not the type of guy I will generally go for. To me, chatting with strangers all day is not a particularly attractive habit, and from a purely practical perspective, the guy who keeps chatting you up when you’re online never seems to be the guy who’s interested in pinning down an actual time to meet in person.
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But most importantly, chatting online with somebody you’ve never met is simply no substitute for a genuine connection. No matter how enjoyable the online chat. I’ve had some fantastic online chats with my aunt, my cousin, and my best female friend—but I don’t want to date them. (My best female friend is on the market, though, so comment here for a chance to win a date with her—or at least an online chat.)
Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys: Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man. Are you surprised? It’s true...and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here...so back to the subject at hand.
Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women. Yes, it’s a woman’s world...still. It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.
Remember...confident and interesting....and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things...not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile....please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.
You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”. The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that...so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember....exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for...or she will find you.
Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.
During my first month of online dating, I used the instant messaging feature. I didn’t gain anything but a few pounds since the chats were cutting into my gym time, and I didn’t lose anything but time that would have been better spent at the gym. Unless online chatting is your end goal on your dating site of choice, turn off the instant messaging feature and fast forward toward a face-to-face connection!
Carlos Xuma - The Dating Black Book
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