Pick-up Library

Social Psychology Body Language

So you are on your way to becoming an Alpha Male, and you're trying to meet a girl. You approach her, you begin to talk to her, but soon after, she says she's not interested and turns around. What went wrong? Maybe you displayed characteristics of a beta male through your body language. Some of these mistakes are:

* not being relaxed, turning your head really fast when somebody wants your attention

* holding too much eye contact when the other person speaks

* blinking a lot

* slouching

* walking only with your legs

* excessive smiling-nervous facial gestures

* folding your arms in front of you-twitching

* having closed postures-

* nervous ticks

* speaking too fast

Try to control your body language as well when you talk to someone else, because what you say doesn't matter quite as much as how you say it.

How To Seem More Confident Than You Really Are

In Bang there's a section about the two ways to increase your confidence (starts on page XX). I don't have anything to add to that short list, but I have found a way that a girl can PERCEIVE you as more confident.

Imagine you are a girl for a second and you're in some bar drinking with your girlfriends. Guys come up to you all the time, some with decent game but some with tired "What are you drinking?" game. What is the one thing that would tell you a guy knows what he's doing, has probably had a lot of girls, and can give you both emotional and physical pleasure?

BOLDNESS.

Let me explain with a story.

I was at a bar when I started talking to a cute girl. I sat down on a bar stool to face her and sat so our legs were touching. After 10 minutes of conversation, I made it seem like I just noticed her bracelets and starting touching them. Then I noticed some drink spilled on her jeans, and started "rubbing" it out. She quickly hit my hand away.

Even though I was surprised, I pretended nothing happened and continued our conversation. Then five minutes later, I just started poking her thigh while she was talking. That's when she started giving commentary on my pickup..

"I saw you here the other night talking to girls. I have a feeling you hit on a lot of girls and you do this all the time." I just said I was "outgoing" and "friendly," with a smirk of course.

She knows that this is what I do, that I hit on girls like herself every night. But she cannot tell her brain to stop feeling attraction for a desirable man. I am a desirable male because she THINKS I do this all the time and that I'm successful at it (why else would I be bold?). And she thinks I do this all the time simply because I'm touching her early and in ways other guys are too scared to do.

I made out with her before I got her number, after a total time of 30 minutes or so of talking to her. Keep in mind this was from a girl who hit my hand away when I started touching her.

Being bold screams confidence, because it tells the girl that you are NOT AFRAID and have done this before. She will think, "Who does he think he is touching me so early in the conversation? Look how close his face is getting to mine. What makes him think he will kiss me tonight?" The answer in her head will be something like, "Because he knows what he's doing and has succeeded at it before."

And here's the beautiful part: she will have no idea what your past is, no idea how many women you really did sleep with or didn't. All it takes is one trait--boldness--to be the man she wants to sleep with right now.

This means that even if you have zero confidence, just sucking it up and trying to push the boundaries to get closer sooner than you think you can, you actually increase the chance that you will get a make-out or sex. Weird how things work.

Just a few years ago the approach itself would scream boldness and be an attractant in its own right, but we've entered the age of pick-up where any Joe Schmo who lost his virginity is peddling an ebook and robot monkeys are approaching girls with the tired "Who lies more" opener. A cute girl has been approached hundreds of times by the time you get to her, so now it's early touching and kissing will give the boldness effect.

Before I got into the game, that wouldn't make any sense to me. I'd wait very patiently for obvious green lights and only then would I proceed with caution. But the more experience I got (going on a decade now), the more impatient I became, and the sooner I started going for it. And it worked. Not only did I get more, but I got it much quicker.

Now I'm pretty spoiled. If I don't get a makeout within 30 minutes or so, I think something is wrong WITH HER. The only time I get numbers now without make-outs is when I simply ran out of time.

It wasn't always like this, and it did take me work to get here, but if you start with a solid foundation of techniques (which I teach in my book Bang), it will be just practice and commitment on your part. If you haven't already done so, check out page samples today..

Social Psychology Body Language

How To Seem More Confident Than You Really Are

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