There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive...maybe even, scary. Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace. Patience is the key.
Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed in some way or another...and that includes you, as well. If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed. Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing. Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine. It won’t happen. Expect flaws and just deal with them. Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.
Little white lies and false fronts won’t work. Be honest from the beginning of a relationship. Write your profile. Make it interesting but don’t make false statements. The truth will come out eventually anyway. If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.
ALSO THINGS NOT TO DO
1. Try to be someone you are not - It's important to be yourself as you don't want other people to settle for anything different. Trying to act like someone you are not will only backfire in the future.
2. Talk about past relationships - Maybe that’s how you lost the last one. Nobody wants to hear you drone on about your ex and what he or she did or didn't do. Concentrate on your date and see if you can get to the second date.
3. Talk about yourself all night - There is nothing worse then a person that loves to talk about himself or herself all the time. Be the one asking the questions!
4. Ask too many personal questions - This is your first date and your date may not want to reveal too much about himself/herself just yet. If you like each other and want to continue with the relationship then there will be plenty of time to ask more intimate questions.
5. Get drunk - You don’t want to spend half the night in the toilet vomiting and your date won’t think much of you. You can also put yourself at risk of unwanted advances and will not be in the right frame of mind or body to do anything about it.
6. Be late - First impressions count and if you are late then this will make your date think of you as lazy, having lack of initiative, or not putting an importance on the evening.
7. Propose marriage or kids - Unless you don’t want to see them again.
8. Forget to thank them for the date - It is good manners and etiquette to thank your date for the evening. If you don't want to go on a date again, this is where you will get your chance to end it. If you do, then this is your chance to ask your date out on another date.
9. Eat with your mouth open - This will not only create a negative impression of you to your date, but also to other people around you.
10. Pursue sex; especially after your partner has said no.
First Date Ideas:
1. Picnic by a river. Prepare a basket of goodies, a chilled bottle of wine, and enjoy the day relaxing in each other's company.
2. Indoor ice skating - or roller blade in the park. You can lean against each other for balance and warmth.
3. The beach. Take a picnic, a bottle of wine and a rug and spend the day catching the sun together. Or you could take a dip together. All that splashing is bound to be great fun.
4. The movies. Let your date choose the film. It will show a good gesture if you don't have the same taste in films. Select a unique theater (i.e. leather seating) to enhance the experience and arrive early to provide plenty of time to get to know each other.
5. Eat in. Show off your culinary skills and ask them round for dinner. Don’t over do the candles and music or you may frighten them away.
6. Kite flying. It's a lot more fun than you may think!
7. Theme park. Big or small, everybody loves theme parks. Triple loop roller coasters, dodgems, etc. is the ideal date for the big kid in us.
8. A sporting activity that you both like. If you are both big basketball fans, then take a trip to see a professional basketball game together.
Remember...don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.
Downloadable books:Slade Shaw - The 3 Destructive But Common Dating Mistakes Men Make
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets
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