When you join an online dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like…even come to love. That girl is looking for a guy that SHE can like or even love. What you aren’t looking for is a girl who would like your best friend or your idea of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like. So, in order to find the right girl for you…and she IS out there…you need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.
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The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationship (s). What was right? What was wrong? What things really made you like the last girl? Which didn’t? Don’t assume that just because you hated that your last girl was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.
If you aren’t 6’1” with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.
Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar…and probably a cheat, as well.
GETTING TO KNOW PEOPLE
Develop common activities
If you've hit it off with a potential date, then start by making dates with eachother to share online activities, like playing online games or sharing a forum. Talk about how long you expect to communicate online before meeting. Make sure you feel comfortable with a person before even considering a meeting.
If you want people to be open and honest with you, you must also do the same. You don't have to go into personal details but don't pretend to be someone your not, otherwise you will only attract the people that are looking for the type of person you are pretending to be. It's much easier to always be open than to try and cover up (or even remember) all of your lies.
If you get to the point in your online friendship/relationship where you decide you want to meet each other, then arrange to meet in public where you will be comfortable and safe. Meet in a busy place, over coffee or a casual meal. Be prepared in case you don`t like the person and have a back up plan to "escape". Ask a friend to phone you an hour after meeting and you can tell the friend you will phone later if you two are getting on well. If you aren`t getting on well you can make an excuse and leave. Remember to always let someone know where you are at all time. Always be cautious.
Don't fake photos
If you decide to swap pictures, send a current picture which is flattering, but doesn't hide or distort your true appearance. Misleading pictures are probably the leading cause of disappointments in relationships that start on the Internet. Whatever you do, make sure that you give a photo of you and not someone else or you`ll never be able to meet the person because they'll think you are someone else.
Don't expect to much
Remember that you are using a chatroom, so you have no idea what this people really look like or what their personality is like. Be careful about building mental images of people because if you ever proceed to a meeting (or picture exchange) stage, you will likely feel disappointed because the person doesn't live up to the mental image you created. Keep an open mind and you won't be disappointed.
Online dating services are the preferred method of meeting people. However, chatrooms have always been a popular venue for getting to know others and eventually meeting people you've developed friendships with while chatting. If this is your case, then be sure to always use common sense and safety. It's easy to let your guard down after several successful meetings. Don't. Stay alert, safe, and enjoy your opportunity to make new friendships or potential relationships.
Lastly, once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the online dating service. After all, you know and she knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking…not those who have found or been found.
Chad Manning - Honest Truth About Woman
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