Last time we talked about … well, snarky rhyming leprechauns, actually. But pursuant to my series 7 Reasons Women Stay in Bad Relationships (and just before Christian Leaders: For God’s Sake, Stop Empowering Wife Abusers), we talked, in Women in Abusive Relationships: Like Everyone Else, You’re Guilty of Love, about the truth that if we are living in an unhappy or dysfunctional way, we can be sure it’s because, in one way or another, we are being as loyal as we possibly can to the ideas and values that our parents taught us about ourselves, the world, and how those two just “naturally” interact.

So let’s talk about that just a little more, because in the course of our lives there is no more important a subject for us to deal with. (As to the relationship between religion/God and our psychological well-being, it’s true, as I said in Women in Abusive Relationships: The Good Daughter Syndrome, that what stands between us and our psychological health also stands between us and the healing power of God.)

Our present and future is necessarily defined by our past. You can’t be who you want to be without understanding how you got to be the way you are. No one gets around that.

And how did you begin your journey toward the person you are today? As a fully dependent child.

Now, let’s say that as a child you had emotionally dysfunctional parents. (Phffft. Like anyone didn’t. But I digest ….) What do emotionally dysfunctional parents do? They constantly teach their children all kinds of crazy, wrong, and eminently unhelpful things about themselves, others, and the world in general. They can’t help it. They do what they are.

And how do children respond to the Toxic Life Lessons taught them by their emotionally dysfunctional parents? They believe them, that’s what. They absorb them as absolute truths. They accept them before the conscious process of “acceptance” at all. What our parents teach us, especially and particularly about who we are (since that’s the information we’re most voracious about collecting), becomes, right off the bat, so deeply interwoven into our most foundational and bedrock conceptions of ourselves and the world that unless later in our lives we work very, very hard to discern between larger, healthier truths and the little, tweaked “truths” that our parents downloaded directly into our (so to speak) motherboards, then we end up stuck in the little, broken boat our parents fashioned for us, which can never do anything but float around in the same old limited loop their boat is forever stuck in.

Worse than all this: The real message dysfunctional parents send their children is that their children are in danger. That is the primary message received by children in messed-up families: You could die here. Things are crazy here. You are not loved here. Your survival is at risk here.

That’s not an exaggeration: it’s how kids feel if the primary message they’re getting from their parents is, “My craziness is more important to me than properly loving you is.” How else can they respond to that message? They’re totally dependent upon their parents’ well-being and love. And that’s not something they’re unaware of. They’re not. They know it. They know that if their parents are erratic, or hostile, or out of control, or crazy in any real way, they’re in trouble. On the most basic, animal level, they understand that means their safety is endangered.

They’re scared, man.

And here’s what scared kids in crazy families tell themselves about their parents: They really love me. Kids tell themselves what they must in order to secure for themselves the emotional security they need just to survive in their house, which is that underneath it all—underneath their anger, their selfishness, their fear, their passivity, their physical or emotional abuse—their parents really love them.

Sure, Dad hit us. But he loved us. Sure, Mom drank too much. But she loved us. Sure, Dad was never home. But he loved us. Sure, Mom refused to stand up to Dad. But she loved us.

We all do it. We all hold dear to the myth that as children we had to create for ourselves, which is that our parents are deeper, nobler, kinder, more thoughtful—that they’re just better people—than the people whom we in fact know them to be.

And besides that for our survival we must, do you know why else we cling so mightily to the Good Parent myth? Because we love our parents with a furious, instinctive devotion the power of which is unmatched in the human experience.

And there’s the package of our lives: We love our parents, and as children we must believe that underneath it all our parents are wonderful, enlightened people who always have and always will love us.

And then as adults we find ourselves allowing ourselves to be abused. Or we habitually abuse ourselves, with alcohol or drugs. Or we eat too much. Or we don’t allow ourselves to eat enough. Or we’re the ones hurting and abusing the people we’re supposed to love and protect.

And when your personal life has for too long gone too awry, you finally reach the point where you realize that you have to start reassessing knowledge that’s as core to who you are as your skin and your teeth.

That’s when it’s time to start that process by which, ultimately, you decide that it’s more important that you stand up straight and let your parents fall off your back than it is for you to continue your life hunched over from the weight of carrying them.

Read John Shore - Seven Reasons Women Stay In Abusive Relationships

It is hard work to learn it all but you will see results long before you are a master. All wannabee Puas should do some acting training, it will make them better. The Training Trances" is a simple, easy-to-follow guide to the basics of approaching and attracting women. All wannabee Puas should do some acting training, it will make them better. All wannabee Puas should do some acting training, it will make them better."

Buy John Overdurf - Training Trances ($5.75)

The book was written in simple terms which helped me to understand my own problem. I tried some breathing exercises from the book and they worked well for me, and I still use them today. There is one in particular called 'single nostril breathing' which seemed to help a lot and I used it whenever I felt my hands and arms becoming cold(always a sign for me). After using it the feeling of panic that would usually grow until it was uncontrollable would just vanish - not every time but most of the time. Sometimes I would just get a full blown attack of course

Buy John Hughes - Stress Dying For No Cause ($5.64)

John Grinder is the co-founder of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) with Dr. Richard Bandler. He is a graduate in psychology from the University of San Francisco. He served in the US military and also the US intelligence agency. John Grinder later acquired a Ph D in Linguistics from the University of California in San Diego in the late 1960s.

John Grinder distinguished in the field of linguistics especially in the area of syntax. He was later appointed as a professor of linguistics in the newly founded University of California in Santa Cruz. He has many books to his credit and some of his exception work can be seen in books like On Deletion Phenomena in English (1972) and Guide to Transformational Grammar (1973) among various other articles.

Grinder went on to develop a new field called the Neuro Linguistic Programming along with Richard Bandler, who was then a student of psychology. It all started when Bandler invited Grinder to participate in his therapy groups. Grinder was enthralled by the ways in which the therapists used their linguistic patterns to give effective results on their patients.

John Grinder has authored 14 books on complex subjects ranging from transformational grammar, family therapy and his creation of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

NLP belongs to John Grinder, maybe not in the literal sense. If you studied the patterns of NLP which were originally developed in the 70’s you will recognize the wisdom of John Grinder flows throughout the early work. John’s work is documented in well over 1000 other educational books on subject matter ranging from specialist NLP matters, psychology, sales, negotiation, management, parenting and accelerated learning. Dr Grinder’s work is also the subject matter of well over 1000 NLP public seminars each year, training people over 20,000 people each year around the globe hosted by specialist NLP Trainers. The majority of quality business seminars will now include aspects of John Grinder’s work, which equates to figure of tens of thousands of people learning implicitly from the genius of John Grinder. That figure is growing every year.

This lead John Grinder along with Richard Bandler to come up with a model called as Neuro Linguistic Programming. This was derived from the theory of transformational grammar and the language patterns used by effective therapists like Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Hypnotherapist Milton H. Erickson.

The model of NLP was further developed using various books published by these therapists which became a foundation of Neuro Linguistic Programming. John Grinder has co-founded many other books on NLP and its techniques and applications.

People all over the world have greatly benefited from the NLP techniques in improving self-confidence which has lead them to successful personal and professional achievements. The NLP model came as a boon to many people who lacked certain qualities that are required to make it big in this competitive world.

John Grinder has devoted his life’s work towards his quest to uncover and present human patterns of excellence, modelled from geniuses in different fields. He created Neuro-Linguistic Programming with Richard Bandler, as a means to investigate and replicate extreme human excellence. It is these applications of NLP which are taught at the highest level of Corporate Excellence trainings worldwide and to world leaders whether implicitly or explicitly. With his partner Carmen, John is continually exploring new territories and continually updates his work, introducing new models of excellence and vastly updated models of his and Bandlers early work.

John Grinder along with Richard Bandler has created a relatively unique technique to make your mind work into positive things and achieve what’s best for you. NLP teaches you techniques on self-improvisation and also helps you gauge the personality of people around you. It’s important that one has his thoughts, feelings, words and behavior in perfect coordination to give out the required results.

Once your thoughts, words and actions are in alignment you’ll be in a better position to get your message across to your audience in an effective way and most importantly in the way you intended it to be.

The NLP Academy is the only company in the UK where even the most advanced Master Practitioner, NLP Trainer or Corporate Leader will learn directly from John’s genius. Still today John’s books form the core and foundations of any NLP Practitioner training. With the NLP Academy you will fully experience the depth of John’s teachings, the breadth of his knowledge and infectious personal charisma, whether as part of the training sessions or over coffee in the breaks. John’s latest teachings will significantly refine your original NLP experience and will ensure his students stay ahead in their field.

Between 1982-1987, strongly influenced by anthropologist and systems theorist Gregory Bateson, who had a strong focus on ecology as a psychological construct, Grinder and Judith DeLozier collaborated to develop the New Code of NLP. Grinder and Bateson had met during their affiliation with Kresge College at the University of California, Santa Cruz during the 1970s. Grinder and Delozier presented an aesthetic framework for the classic code" of NLP that explicates the involvement of ecology and the unconscious mind in change work. Ecology in NLP is about respecting the integrity of the system as a whole when assessing a change to that system the 'system' in this case is a person's model of the world and the consequences of that model in the person's environment. Practically speaking, this consideration entails asking questions like "What are the intended effects of this change? What other effects might this change have, and are those effects desirable? Is this change still a good idea?" The seminars were transcribed and published in 1987, Turtles All the Way Down Prerequisites to Personal Genius.

The New Code of NLP has been further developed by John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St Clair who founded Quantum Leap Inc. a cultural change consultancy firm. Currently John and Carmen present some public seminars on NLP internationally. In 2001, Grinder (with Bostic St Clair) published Whispering in the Wind with set of recommendations as to how specifically NLP can improve its practice and take its rightful place as a scientifically based endeavor with its precise focus on modeling of the extremes of human behavior: excellence and the high performers who actually do it. Grinder has since strongly encouraged the field to make a recommitment to what he considers the core activity of NLP, modeling.

"

Buy John Grinder - Frogs Into Princes ($5.71)

John Grinder is the co-founder of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) with Dr. Richard Bandler. He is a graduate in psychology from the University of San Francisco. He served in the US military and also the US intelligence agency. John Grinder later acquired a Ph D in Linguistics from the University of California in San Diego in the late 1960s.

John Grinder distinguished in the field of linguistics especially in the area of syntax. He was later appointed as a professor of linguistics in the newly founded University of California in Santa Cruz. He has many books to his credit and some of his exception work can be seen in books like On Deletion Phenomena in English (1972) and Guide to Transformational Grammar (1973) among various other articles.

Grinder went on to develop a new field called the Neuro Linguistic Programming along with Richard Bandler, who was then a student of psychology. It all started when Bandler invited Grinder to participate in his therapy groups. Grinder was enthralled by the ways in which the therapists used their linguistic patterns to give effective results on their patients.

John Grinder has authored 14 books on complex subjects ranging from transformational grammar, family therapy and his creation of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

NLP belongs to John Grinder, maybe not in the literal sense. If you studied the patterns of NLP which were originally developed in the 70’s you will recognize the wisdom of John Grinder flows throughout the early work. John’s work is documented in well over 1000 other educational books on subject matter ranging from specialist NLP matters, psychology, sales, negotiation, management, parenting and accelerated learning. Dr Grinder’s work is also the subject matter of well over 1000 NLP public seminars each year, training people over 20,000 people each year around the globe hosted by specialist NLP Trainers. The majority of quality business seminars will now include aspects of John Grinder’s work, which equates to figure of tens of thousands of people learning implicitly from the genius of John Grinder. That figure is growing every year.

This lead John Grinder along with Richard Bandler to come up with a model called as Neuro Linguistic Programming. This was derived from the theory of transformational grammar and the language patterns used by effective therapists like Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Hypnotherapist Milton H. Erickson.

The model of NLP was further developed using various books published by these therapists which became a foundation of Neuro Linguistic Programming. John Grinder has co-founded many other books on NLP and its techniques and applications.

People all over the world have greatly benefited from the NLP techniques in improving self-confidence which has lead them to successful personal and professional achievements. The NLP model came as a boon to many people who lacked certain qualities that are required to make it big in this competitive world.

John Grinder has devoted his life’s work towards his quest to uncover and present human patterns of excellence, modelled from geniuses in different fields. He created Neuro-Linguistic Programming with Richard Bandler, as a means to investigate and replicate extreme human excellence. It is these applications of NLP which are taught at the highest level of Corporate Excellence trainings worldwide and to world leaders whether implicitly or explicitly. With his partner Carmen, John is continually exploring new territories and continually updates his work, introducing new models of excellence and vastly updated models of his and Bandlers early work.

John Grinder along with Richard Bandler has created a relatively unique technique to make your mind work into positive things and achieve what’s best for you. NLP teaches you techniques on self-improvisation and also helps you gauge the personality of people around you. It’s important that one has his thoughts, feelings, words and behavior in perfect coordination to give out the required results.

Once your thoughts, words and actions are in alignment you’ll be in a better position to get your message across to your audience in an effective way and most importantly in the way you intended it to be.

The NLP Academy is the only company in the UK where even the most advanced Master Practitioner, NLP Trainer or Corporate Leader will learn directly from John’s genius. Still today John’s books form the core and foundations of any NLP Practitioner training. With the NLP Academy you will fully experience the depth of John’s teachings, the breadth of his knowledge and infectious personal charisma, whether as part of the training sessions or over coffee in the breaks. John’s latest teachings will significantly refine your original NLP experience and will ensure his students stay ahead in their field.

Between 1982-1987, strongly influenced by anthropologist and systems theorist Gregory Bateson, who had a strong focus on ecology as a psychological construct, Grinder and Judith DeLozier collaborated to develop the New Code of NLP. Grinder and Bateson had met during their affiliation with Kresge College at the University of California, Santa Cruz during the 1970s. Grinder and Delozier presented an aesthetic framework for the classic code" of NLP that explicates the involvement of ecology and the unconscious mind in change work. Ecology in NLP is about respecting the integrity of the system as a whole when assessing a change to that system the 'system' in this case is a person's model of the world and the consequences of that model in the person's environment. Practically speaking, this consideration entails asking questions like "What are the intended effects of this change? What other effects might this change have, and are those effects desirable? Is this change still a good idea?" The seminars were transcribed and published in 1987, Turtles All the Way Down Prerequisites to Personal Genius.

The New Code of NLP has been further developed by John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St Clair who founded Quantum Leap Inc. a cultural change consultancy firm. Currently John and Carmen present some public seminars on NLP internationally. In 2001, Grinder (with Bostic St Clair) published Whispering in the Wind with set of recommendations as to how specifically NLP can improve its practice and take its rightful place as a scientifically based endeavor with its precise focus on modeling of the extremes of human behavior: excellence and the high performers who actually do it. Grinder has since strongly encouraged the field to make a recommitment to what he considers the core activity of NLP, modeling.

"

Buy John Grinder - Turtles All The Way Down ($6.44)

John Grinder is the co-founder of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) with Dr. Richard Bandler. He is a graduate in psychology from the University of San Francisco. He served in the US military and also the US intelligence agency. John Grinder later acquired a Ph D in Linguistics from the University of California in San Diego in the late 1960s.

John Grinder distinguished in the field of linguistics especially in the area of syntax. He was later appointed as a professor of linguistics in the newly founded University of California in Santa Cruz. He has many books to his credit and some of his exception work can be seen in books like On Deletion Phenomena in English (1972) and Guide to Transformational Grammar (1973) among various other articles.

Grinder went on to develop a new field called the Neuro Linguistic Programming along with Richard Bandler, who was then a student of psychology. It all started when Bandler invited Grinder to participate in his therapy groups. Grinder was enthralled by the ways in which the therapists used their linguistic patterns to give effective results on their patients.

John Grinder has authored 14 books on complex subjects ranging from transformational grammar, family therapy and his creation of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

NLP belongs to John Grinder, maybe not in the literal sense. If you studied the patterns of NLP which were originally developed in the 70’s you will recognize the wisdom of John Grinder flows throughout the early work. John’s work is documented in well over 1000 other educational books on subject matter ranging from specialist NLP matters, psychology, sales, negotiation, management, parenting and accelerated learning. Dr Grinder’s work is also the subject matter of well over 1000 NLP public seminars each year, training people over 20,000 people each year around the globe hosted by specialist NLP Trainers. The majority of quality business seminars will now include aspects of John Grinder’s work, which equates to figure of tens of thousands of people learning implicitly from the genius of John Grinder. That figure is growing every year.

This lead John Grinder along with Richard Bandler to come up with a model called as Neuro Linguistic Programming. This was derived from the theory of transformational grammar and the language patterns used by effective therapists like Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Hypnotherapist Milton H. Erickson.

The model of NLP was further developed using various books published by these therapists which became a foundation of Neuro Linguistic Programming. John Grinder has co-founded many other books on NLP and its techniques and applications.

People all over the world have greatly benefited from the NLP techniques in improving self-confidence which has lead them to successful personal and professional achievements. The NLP model came as a boon to many people who lacked certain qualities that are required to make it big in this competitive world.

John Grinder has devoted his life’s work towards his quest to uncover and present human patterns of excellence, modelled from geniuses in different fields. He created Neuro-Linguistic Programming with Richard Bandler, as a means to investigate and replicate extreme human excellence. It is these applications of NLP which are taught at the highest level of Corporate Excellence trainings worldwide and to world leaders whether implicitly or explicitly. With his partner Carmen, John is continually exploring new territories and continually updates his work, introducing new models of excellence and vastly updated models of his and Bandlers early work.

John Grinder along with Richard Bandler has created a relatively unique technique to make your mind work into positive things and achieve what’s best for you. NLP teaches you techniques on self-improvisation and also helps you gauge the personality of people around you. It’s important that one has his thoughts, feelings, words and behavior in perfect coordination to give out the required results.

Once your thoughts, words and actions are in alignment you’ll be in a better position to get your message across to your audience in an effective way and most importantly in the way you intended it to be.

The NLP Academy is the only company in the UK where even the most advanced Master Practitioner, NLP Trainer or Corporate Leader will learn directly from John’s genius. Still today John’s books form the core and foundations of any NLP Practitioner training. With the NLP Academy you will fully experience the depth of John’s teachings, the breadth of his knowledge and infectious personal charisma, whether as part of the training sessions or over coffee in the breaks. John’s latest teachings will significantly refine your original NLP experience and will ensure his students stay ahead in their field.

Between 1982-1987, strongly influenced by anthropologist and systems theorist Gregory Bateson, who had a strong focus on ecology as a psychological construct, Grinder and Judith DeLozier collaborated to develop the New Code of NLP. Grinder and Bateson had met during their affiliation with Kresge College at the University of California, Santa Cruz during the 1970s. Grinder and Delozier presented an aesthetic framework for the classic code" of NLP that explicates the involvement of ecology and the unconscious mind in change work. Ecology in NLP is about respecting the integrity of the system as a whole when assessing a change to that system the 'system' in this case is a person's model of the world and the consequences of that model in the person's environment. Practically speaking, this consideration entails asking questions like "What are the intended effects of this change? What other effects might this change have, and are those effects desirable? Is this change still a good idea?" The seminars were transcribed and published in 1987, Turtles All the Way Down Prerequisites to Personal Genius.

The New Code of NLP has been further developed by John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St Clair who founded Quantum Leap Inc. a cultural change consultancy firm. Currently John and Carmen present some public seminars on NLP internationally. In 2001, Grinder (with Bostic St Clair) published Whispering in the Wind with set of recommendations as to how specifically NLP can improve its practice and take its rightful place as a scientifically based endeavor with its precise focus on modeling of the extremes of human behavior: excellence and the high performers who actually do it. Grinder has since strongly encouraged the field to make a recommitment to what he considers the core activity of NLP, modeling.

"

Buy John Grinder - Patterns Of The Hypnotic Techniques Of Milton Erickson Compact Edition ($5.72)

Part I Of Human Excellence" - last 4 days of 24 days Nlp Practitioner Seminar, conducted in Colorado (1985) by John Grinder.

John Grinder has devoted his life's work towards his quest to uncover and present human patterns of excellence, modelled from geniuses in different fields. He created Neuro-Linguistic Programming with Richard Bandler as a means to investigate and replicate extreme human excellence. It is these applications of NLP which are taught at the highest level of Human Excellence Trainings worldwide and to world leaders whether implicitly or explicitly. John Grinder has vastly updated models of his and Bandlers early work and continues to introduce new models of excellence.

This seminar is part of seminars set of company "NLP Of Colorado" (later renamed to "NLP Comprehensive"), established by Connirae And Steve Andreas In 1979 in Colorado, to organize NLP trainings. In 1995 they sold NLP Comprehensive to Lara Ewing, one of their NLP consulting trainers. The company was subsequesntly sold in 1998 to Tom Dotz who had founded the NLP Institute of California.

File Details:

Video

Length: 107 min

Frame Width: 320

Frame Height: 240

Data Rate: 561 kbps

Total bitrate: 625 kbps

Frame rate 29 frames/second

Audio

Bit rate: 64 kbps

Channels: 2 (stereo)

Audio sample rate: 32 kHz

"

Buy John Grinder - Human Excellence Seminar From Nlp Of Colorado 1985 Seminars Set P1.avi ($14.81)