Pick-up Library

Asktherightquestionsfirst

OK. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all? You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”....but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important one.....”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.

Here are a few dating tips to guide you toward the relationship you want with your person of interest, who you happen to have met in the slightly muddier waters of online dating.

- Sprinkle a few grains of salt onto my dating advice. Remember that every situation is unique. I imagine there are two lovebirds out there somewhere who met online and were married by date three. Similarly, I imagine there are those who dated for months before establishing exclusivity. What I offer is simply a guide that tends to work for me and my fellow online-dating friends. If you read your situation as an exception, then trust your judgment and act accordingly. Good luck!
- When to have the talk. As much as you like online date #50, do not invite any conversation regarding exclusivity for at least the first four to five dates. Lose the intensity and enjoy getting to know the person on pressure-free terms. This is not a race to see how fast you can establish an exclusive relationship.
- How to have the talk. If the signs aren’t sure, and you’ve waited a reasonable amount of time to go forward with the relationship talk, you can introduce the topic in a fairly benign and non-threatening manner in order to avoid putting your date, and your heart, on the spot. You can jokingly ask if his or her other online dates are as fun as time spent with you. You can mention you’re no longer looking online to meet others. If your potential partner feels the same, he or she will view this as an opportunity to let you know he or she reciprocates your interest. Also, don’t be afraid to be direct. It’s okay to let him or her know your feelings and that you’d like your time together to head toward a relationship. (Remember, don’t do this on date #2! Give it time!)
- Gauge whether you need the talk. This isn’t junior high, you don’t need to be asked to go steady. Read the signs. If you’re spending every day together and his or her online profile has been inactive for several weeks (yes, it’s okay to check!), chances are you’ve transitioned into a relationship without ever having had to utter the official words “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.”

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

Book Review Dating Rocks

Dating Rocks! By Steve Nakamoto

I've always found it bizarre to watch other women advise women on what men want, when it's obvious that women should be seeking the advice of a man.

STEVE NAKAMOTO is just the man for the job because in" ROCKS! , he gives women a sensible view into the mind of a man and explains what men really want out of a relationship.

The chapters in the book are broken down into simple steps that make everything that he writes easy to understand and manageable as a resource you can look to whenever you get confused about men.

From the moments upon meeting a man to getting seriously involved, Nakamoto covers all aspects of dating, and lets women know what men find highly desirable.

Nakamoto makes it clear that to attract a man, you must make yourself attractive, but to keep a man, you must maintain a relationship and pay attention to it constantly if you want to remain happy.

So for any single woman who is frustrated with the dating game or for any woman who's currently involved and feels like she's in a relationship rut, STEVE NAKAMOTO can help you figure out what's going on and how to change your situation so that you can enjoy a healthy, happy relationship.

RATING 4 OUT OF 5

Reasons Why Men Cheat On Women

I have a friend who has been in the dating game for years. And every single time she begins to get serious with a guy, he ends up cheating on her. I think that of her 12 relationships, perhaps only one remained faithful. He ended up dumping her and marrying the next woman he dated a year later. Go figure.

So, does this girlfriend of mine have a tendency to spot the jerks and hook them temporarily, or is it possible that she is actually the problem? Yes, yes, I know that there is no excuse for cheating and that only jerkoffs would do something so cruel, but if every single person you date ends up hurting you in the very same way every single time, isn't it time for a little reflection?

REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT

There was a time when men cheated on women simply because they had the opportunity, but times have changed and there are legitimate reasons for why he's straying.

REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT #1

YOU DONT COMMUNICATE

Instead of confronting the issues that irritate you, both of you look in the other direction and act as though everything is hunky dory, when, in fact, there's a pink elephant in the room at all times.

If he can't talk to you about something without you getting all sensitive and offended, he'll likely avoid the conversation altogether and perhaps may prefer the company of another woman in whom he can confide.

And let's face it; once that happens, it's only a matter of time before the two of them are lying naked on his desk post-orgasm, talking about how they've wanted each other for so long.

REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT #2

YOU ARENT SEXUALLY OPEN

If he does all the work in bed while you lie there, eventually it'll start to feel a bit like necrophilia to him and not many people enjoy having sex with a corpse.

I'm not suggesting that you head to the sex shop and invest in dildos and whips, but a little sexual experimentation never hurt anyone. Get on your knees every once in a while and show him how much you desire him. Seduce him, spend time appreciating his body and letting him know that you want him all over you.

REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT #3

YOURE A NAG

From the minute he walks in the door until the moment he leaves for work, all you do is nag him and treat him like he's your little child. This is emasculating and annoying for any and all men.

And if you don't change your ways ASAP, you can bet that his eyes will begin to wander and he'll eventually start a rapport with a woman who is anything but a nag and before you know it, he'll come home smelling of another woman's perfume, among other things.

REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT #4

ITS SOMETHING NEW

Variety is the spice of life, no doubt, and if he feels like he's stuck in a rut with you, he'll eventually seek some excitement, perhaps in a skirt and heels.

Of course, you can't dye your hair a different color every week and pick up a new accent on a whim, but you can definitely surprise him every now and then with a new look, some new flavors and perhaps even take him to a gentlemen's club every now and then.

The point is that he needs to feel like you bring little pieces of excitement into his life, otherwise, he may begin to seek such excitement elsewhere.

Asktherightquestionsfirst

Book Review Dating Rocks

RATING 4 OUT OF 5

Reasons Why Men Cheat On Women

REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT

YOU DONT COMMUNICATE

YOU ARENT SEXUALLY OPEN

YOURE A NAG

ITS SOMETHING NEW

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