Well, I actually started researching this back in the 90s, way back before there was ANYTHING online about dating and attraction with women. I remember the first book I got that hinted that there might be more to getting a girlfriend than giving flowers to her and calling her for dates. It was called "Love Tactics." It's a bit elementary now, but it was revelatory for me back then. I still have my copy, and it's battered and highlighted from years of speculation and developing my ideas about the concepts.
It started with what I consider to be the most important concept of all in interpersonal dynamics: Push-Pull.
This once principle covers more about the psychology of attraction than almost anything else.
From there I created my first e-book (The Dating Black Book) to explain the complete "Dating Dynamic" so that you can understand women and how things work in the attraction cycle. Short term and long term.
After that I created a whole curriculum for guys who want to learn how to have a full Alpha Lifestyle, from approaching women, to reaching your personal goals, to making the relationship YOU want to have. I really think it's all about choice.
I've been a guest on David D's Interviews with Dating Gurus program, as well as a guest and keynote speaker with many of the conferences.
I've also done radio and television to help get this information out to as many of my Alpha Brothers out there as I can. Next month, I'll be in LA as part of the Mystery Method Superconference.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE LIKE NOW WITH WOMEN?
I have no scarcity in my life with women. I find that women are constantly trying to be a part of my life, and that is very gratifying.
My personal philosophy is to date many women, and then look for the best prospect from the bunch to give my time to. I don't waste my time or jeopardize my confidence and self-esteem by chasing after women. I let the best candidate raise her hand and make it clear that she's the one for the role.
I maintain a level of self-respect that ensures that I am a prize in HER eyes, first and foremost. Then I can feel much more confident giving her my attention and focus.
It's a bit of a philosophical stance, but it's CRITICAL to guys out there who are on this path to realize that if you feel that you need to "prove yourself" to the women you want, you're sacrificing an essential part of your self-respect.
Women want to BUY, not BE SOLD.
Right now, I'm in a relationship with a beautiful Filipino woman - who wants to be a WOMAN for me. Not my competition to be the Man. (Watch out for those women, guys!)
YOU'VE BEEN AROUND FOR A FEW YEARS NOW, BUT SOME GUYS HAVEN'T HEARD OF YOU. WHAT ARE YOUR FUNDAMENTAL TEACHINGS?
REAL Game is what I teach.
What is "REAL Game"?
The philosophy is that you will attract any woman you want more effectively if you come from a place of being REAL with her. Not to be confused with that lame advice of "just be yourself."
And, it's also a double-acronym
Here's how it goes
R = RELAXED RESOURCEFUL
Relaxation is at the heart of all successful game AND good self- confidence. And you can't be resourceful to use all those techniques you learned without being relaxed. An anxious state is your enemy when it comes to dating and pickup.
E = EFFECTIVE ENERGIZED
Effective, meaning that you use only techniques that are as congruent as possible to YOU. Energized meaning that you have to jack up your energy level a few notches. Most guys are not projecting their inner power and personality outward. They keep it hidden from view, and that kills attraction.
A = ALPHA AUTHENTIC
The Alpha Man is my model for the modern dominant man that knows and is confident in his masculine traits. You can read about this in most of my programs. Authentic means that you need to be genuine. I'm not saying "just be you," because that's worthless advice. You need to be the BEST you possible.
L = LIFESTYLE LASTING
The only way to become truly successful with women (or A woman) over the long term is to make these attraction skills a part of your LIFE. You don't just approach women at a bar or club - you approach them everywhere you go. Otherwise, they won't last.
That's a brief overview of my philosophy.
HOW DO YOU DIFFER FROM OTHER GURUS?
Well, I'm good friends with most of these guys in the "community," but I really don't limit my scope to just that area. I really feel that this is about overcoming a major social problem with the emasculation of men.
Now, I'm not some kind of conspiracy nut or something. In fact, I really believe that most of the things people think of as conspiracies are just the slippery slope of our natural tendencies toward laziness.
But in the last 30 years, there has been a distinct FEMINIST slant to everything, and guys need to maintain their strength against this to remain attractive to women.
I differ from most of the other "gurus" in that I show guys the COMPLETE picture. It's not JUST about pickup and attracting women.
In fact, if that's all you focus on, your self-esteem will actually suffer - along with your lifestyle.
You must make pickup and attraction skills part of an overall Alpha Lifestyle. What I mean by this is that you have to be working on your own life - and be happy WITHOUT women before you will be able to truly attract the women you want. Or you will not keep them.
Being attractive isn't just skin deep for guys - it has to go right to the BONE.
CAN YOU RELATE ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE FIELD REPORTS EITHER PERSONALLY OR ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS?
Well, I am a very private person by nature, but I always share information that helps guys understand the Game better and improve.
There has been a big focus these days on "hidden video" and things like that, which really don't help your skills with women. In fact, too much focus on watching OTHER people do this stuff is going to get you all messed up because you become what I call "hyper-analytical." That's basically where you just can't let go of the need to compare yourself to unreasonable examples.
I'll relate a story of my friend in Seattle. When I went up to the lair up there to present and do a mini-bootcamp, we went to a really fun bar up there. (The name escapes me at the moment.)
While we were there, one of the guys comes over to me and says, "Man, I just wrecked this set I approached. It was bad."
I asked him what had happened. He said he went over, opened up the girl he found really attractive, and used some canned material. After about a minute, he lost her attention and he felt that old "back turn"
syndrome, where the woman just uses her body language to reject you.
Well, after I found out how he was using a bunch of fake, canned material, I asked him what he would do if he was being REAL with this woman. I suggested he go back and just say to her, "Hey, you know what, I f ed up. I came over here before trying to impress you and being a little much. I just thought you had a really nice energy about you and I wanted to get to know you better. Care to try again?"
And that worked like a champ. Her body language changed, his changed, and they got on much better. It was night and day.
WHAT IS YOUR NEW POWER SOCIAL SKILLS ALL ABOUT AND WHY SHOULD A GUY GET IT?
Well, I was inspired by an old book from the 1960s that talked about all these complicated social games we all play with each other. I started noticing how people are playing games ALL the time.
Then I thought, wouldn't it be great if someone could explain all these games so we don't have to get caught up in all the nonsense?
This program is the first program I've created for guys to use to really build their social skills from the ground up.
ALL attraction skills have their roots in what I call Power Social Skills. The skills you use to approach women comfortably, to build rapport, to get attraction - these are all developed from basic social skills.
Have you ever been in a social situation where you just knew someone was messing with you, but you didn't know what to do about it?
Have you ever had that feeling that someone was playing games with you, but you couldn't figure out how they were doing it, or what psychology they were manipulating?
Have you ever wondered how to get past the games, and get to a REAL connection with another person? That influential kind of connection that really gets a person to trust you and LIKE you?
I created this program to open up the complex mechanics of what happens in social situations, and give guys a skeleton key to unlock all the puzzles and games.
I go into EXTENSIVE explanation of the personality types you'll meet, and what their motivation is. (Even your own!) I go into detail about how to read a social situation of any kind, understand what's going on, and be able to not get gamed.
You ever had this happen: You're hanging out with your friends and someone makes a sly comment about you, and they all chuckle. You go along with it because you don't want to look like you're "uptight" or "un-cool." But somewhere deep inside, you know you were just put-down
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT?
Well, it took me years to figure these out on my own, and that was only because I was lucky enough to find some people that I could study and understand to get these secrets.
I was never the guy that was slick with people, or who could think of the right thing to say at the right time. And I HATED that. I always felt like an idiot when people messed with me, and all I could do was go along because I didn't want to be rejected by my peers and friends.
I decided it was time to update this for our current social situation and explain all the games, all the manipulations, and then give solid advice on how you can get past them so you can get to the authentic CONNECTION that we all crave.
This program will put you into the elite status of men who know how to HANDLE PEOPLE. And that's a powerful skill to have, and it never gets old.
DONOVAN: "CARLOS XUMA'S POWER SOCIAL SKILLS PROGRAM: THIS IS ONE OF THOSE PROGRAMS THAT COMES ALONG AND YOU SAY, WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE RELEASE SOMETHING ON THIS EARLIER? IT ANSWERS AND REVEALS SO MUCH ABOUT SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. CHECK IT OUT BEFORE IT'S RELEASE ON WEDNESDAY."
Suggested free e-books to read:In10se - Audio Interview
Alphahot1 - Alt Seduction Fast Posts
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