I have yet to meet a woman who accepts me entirely as I am.
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I consider myself a pretty clean-cut, well-dressed, successful sort of guy, but there's always something that needs changing. Why is that? Why do women need to change men? Is there really that much wrong with us?
No, I think that the problem lies with women. I think that they always need to be working on some sort of project, and a boyfriend just happens to be the perfect project when one comes into their life.
WOMEN NEED TO CHANGE MEN
I know how to take care of myself: I cook, I clean, I work, I play, and I even know how to dance. But for some reason, most of the women I date want to change the way I do things.
The problem with this situation is that it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. It's as though they've received a rough draft and are slowly changing it into the final one.
The fact that women need to change men at all is frustrating in and of itself, but I happen to think that I'm a pretty good guy, so it's even more bothersome for someone like me.
LOVE ME JUST THE WAY I AM
Well, I am the final draft. This is who I am and how I am, and when a woman meets me, this is what she needs to realize. The moment she start asking me to do things differently, problems will arise.
After all, how would they feel if we constantly told them how to dress, speak, clean, cook, and eat? It's not fun being told that my entire being is wrong.
If women need to change men and men resist this change, guess where the relationship will end up? In the crapper, that's where.
MEN CAN MAKE THEIR OWN ADJUSTMENTS
If I want to change something about myself because I notice that a woman is irritated by it, I will make that decision on my own. The minute she starts telling me what to do, I stop being her man and start being her child. Do you want to date a woman who treats you like a child?
When I'm in love with a woman, I am more than willing to make compromises, but when every aspect of our being needs to meet her halfway, you have to admit that there's something very wrong with that.
I don't mind doing certain things her way, especially if they're things that I don't deem very relevant in my life, but there are other things, such as making the bed, that we don't need to do her way.
KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP HEALTHY
So here's the solution to resolving these issues that women think require change. Perhaps these will calm their need to change men.
1- We can have meetings with our women to discuss what has bothered the other over the week/month, and what we appreciated about each other. I know it sounds cheesy, but my parents taught me that communication is the only way to keep a relationship strong.
2- We choose our battles and try to keep the changes that need to be made down to the ones that are detrimental to the relationship's survival. So if you don't rinse your dish when you put it in the sink, she can't tell you that that's going to spell your doom in the future.
3- We make an effort to accept the other and the little intricacies that make each one unique. If these traits become incredibly irritating in the future, then you either put up or get out.
Jon Jensen - Women Tell You How To Meet Women
Shelle Charvet - Words That Change Minds
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