Pick-up Library

How To Discover Your Spouse Is Cheating

Cheating is one of the cruel obsessions which are always hurtful because it's an indication of immense disloyalty. Though, placing things apart, you can utilize them as the caution or warning signal relating that everything is not going right between both of you. If you both think your past was a painful experience then you might discover that you have a strong relationship in comparison to your previous one.

So, both of you should try to appearing on the aspects related to it so that you can easily move on. Given below are some of the measures through which you can handle these issues before your marriage as a wake up call.

1. For men related to women: A woman always has sentiment that she is the only one and a special person in a man's life. But if you sometime notice about their change in hair style or else which can be apart of cheating. Therefore, you can make use of the cheating as a wake up call since you are in a need to do so. And, if you are not intended in paying attention to your wife then may be she will found someone else who can listen to her. What a woman wants is feel respected at all time. So, you must welcome the things that your wife does. Rather than, if you find out that your wife is cheating on you then you may lead to wake up call acknowledging her that you will not give her the appreciation she needs.

2. For women related to men: If you knowledge that you have been cheated by your husband, then you will gradually suppose that their must be a reason relating good looks. There is superior probability in which the other women made them feel accepted and appreciated, as they both are likely very important for men and many times your husband desires that you should admire him. So, when you locate a suitable behavior of making your husband feel appreciated and admired then there would barely have any reason for him to cheat you.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Harry Kitson - How To Use Your Mind
Christopher Williamson - How To Improve Yourself
Christian Godefroy - How To Improve Your Self Image

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Do You Suffer From The 20s Disease

The other night we were watching this new HBO show, called Treme. It's a show about post-Katrina New Orleans. It's a great show.

Since Sonja is from New Orleans, I of course not only get to watch the show but also get full-blown commentary during the entire time. I not only get to learn about these new characters. I get background information, history of the streets and what happened during Katrina. It's like getting two shows for the price of one -- one on television and one in my living room.

Anyway, there was a really funny episode about a guy celebrating his girlfriend's birthday. They are both musicians. He buys her a great bottle of wine for her birthday, and wants to drink it in the morning.

You've got to love a musician's life. The minute they wake up, he looks at her and says "I got you a birthday present." Then he hands her the bottle of wine. She says, "No, let's drink it later."

I love the 20s. I mean, people in their 20s are just great.

So of course what happens next is that they start fooling around. The 20s are so great because they are in that time when they can get drunk or screw all morning long.

Later they were on the street, and a musician comes over and tells the girl that he really wants her to play with his band that night at a private event. She then asks the musician if the boyfriend can play with them too. The musician says he already has someone playing the piano (the instrument the boyfriend plays), but says the boyfriend is welcome to come and enjoy the food and the music.

What happens next is so typical of people in their 20s. The boyfriend of course goes to the show. He has conversations and eats all the food.

Eventually, and even though the girlfriend was keeping watch as to where he was, the boyfriend leaves the show pissed off. Leaving like that is something you do in your 20s. He left because he was jealous and pissed off that his girlfriend had a gig and he didn't, and because he saw her talking to some guy of which he didn't approve.

So the next scene shows him drinking the bottle of wine he gave her for her birthday alone in their apartment. It's such a douchebag 20-something guy move to do.

How do I know? I'm sure I probably did that when I was in my 20s. So I laughed during that whole scene.

Let me tell you something. If it's your significant other's birthday and they invite you to something that is really special to them, then you celebrate the fact that they were recognized. I don't care what you had otherwise planned -- taking them out for a really nice dinner or to the top of the Empire State Building or whatever.

You can do your special celebration afterwards or even on another day. What I teach over and over again is to be present in the moment. Realize in that situation that the "new thing" that came up is actually another special celebration and just enjoy it.

It's amazing how many guys in their 20s act like the guy in this show acted. Actually, it's not just guys. I know a lot of girls are reading this and snickering as you are thinking that you never act like this, but I have seen a lot of women in their 20s act this way too.

This is a 20s disease. It's called "if things don't go according to plan I am going to throw a temper tantrum like I'm five years old."

For any of you who acted like this in your 20s, I hope you are not doing it in your 30s and 40s. If you are, you really are just a man-child or a woman-child.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Michael Hall - The Users Manual For The Brain
Greatlover - Sexual Survey Results From Over 100 Women

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Cost Of Kissing Her

The train was traveling along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment which was deserted except for a businessman reading his paper. The man peered over his paper and asked "Would you let me kiss you for fifty pence?"

"Certainly not!" exclaimed the young woman, and the businessman returned to his paper.

A short while later he looked across again and said "Would you let me kiss you for a thousand pounds?"

After a brief pause, the woman replied "Yes, I suppose I would." Again the man returned to his newspaper.

A few minutes later the man asked "Would you let me kiss you for five pounds?"

"Certainly not!" replied the young woman, getting angry now "What kind of girl do you take me for?"

"We've already established that," replied the man, "We're just haggling over the price."

Suggested free e-books to read:

Rachel Davis - Conversation King
Chris Jackson - Secrets Of Undressing Women

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Attractive Women Make Ugly Men Hotter

In a case of "tell me something I didn't know" news, it has recently been confirmed that dating very good-looking women or even simply having really good-looking female friends makes even the ugliest guy seem hotter and worth pursuing.

According to a new study published in the Public Library of Science, 30 men and 30 women were asked to look at pictures of couples, and were then asked to rate how likely they were to want a long-term relationship with the opposite sex in the picture.

The result? The women preferred the men with good-looking partners. The study also concluded that men seem to be less discriminating than women. Shocking news.

According to licensed marriage and family therapist Melody Brooke, "If you see a good looking woman with a man who is not all that attractive then you've got to stop and think, what is it that this guy has? He must have something." Yeah, money. Kidding, I'm just kidding.

Of course, men realized this fact ages ago and have been using wing-women to pick up women in bars for years. The better-looking the female company you keep, the higher the chances of landing an equally hot woman. Just ask Costanza; he knows all about it.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tranceboy - Why Are Women Attracted To Men Who Are Bad For Them
David Deangelo - Attraction And How To Create It
Sebastian Low - Attract Women Now

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Relationship And Friendship What Is The Difference

Many of us believe that when friendship becomes stronger, it may turn into a new relationship. But the reality is very different. Just think how you talk with your friends. With them you are always very open about the failures and shortcomings of your life. We do not feel shy while taking about our problem and also asking them for the help. But in a close friendship, you expect from your friend that he or she will be frank with one another.

We keep our so many secrets away from our partner. Moreover, we also do not tell him or her about our failures and shortcomings to them. We try to impress our partner at the time of romance. So, the difference between a friendship and relationship is also very deep. We calculate our moves in a relationship but are very open in a friendship. We always behave like a child in a child in a friendship and an adult in a relation.

Suggested free e-books to read:

John Nash - Reflections On The Divine Feminine
Tyler Durden - What Is Genuine What Is Mutual Benefit

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Get How To Get A Girlfriend Ebook Free

Stephen over at "How To Get A Girlfriend" is giving one lucky commenter a copy of his bestselling ebook.

Stephen writes:

I've been consulting with clients, doing seminars, and releasing updated versions of my products for years. Perhaps you've purchased my ebook "How To Get A Girlfriend", or attended one of my seminars, or even just an avid listener of my free weekly podcasts. Either way, I'd love to know what you think of my philosophy and real world teachings.

IVE DECIDED TO "THROW FUEL ON THE FIRE" BY GIVING ONE LUCKY COMMENTER A COPY OF MY LIFE CHANGING EBOOK "HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND". "How To Get A Girlfriend" is packed with natural methods for empowering your self-esteem, generating attraction, connecting socially, and surrounding yourself with women that you want to be around.

It's simple:

Just WRITE A COMMENT below on what "you" think about my blog, podcasts, and/or "Master Class Series" Emails.

Simply write a comment on your experiences with Stephen's stuff to get the prize!

Donovan

Suggested free e-books to read:

Linda Martz - How To Give A Foot Massage
Anthony Berger - How To Drink For Free

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Stephen Nash Seduction Masters Interview

Stephen Nash is founder of CUTTING-EDGE IMAGE CONSULTING, based in New York City. He is 33 years old, and has been researching the nature of relationships for over three years. He was an original member of the now infamous "Project Hollywood" in Los Angeles, and is featured in Neil Strauss' "The Game" as PLAYBOYLA. CEIC currently operates his blog, podcast and website:

How To Get A Girlfriend (Link)

DESCRIBE THE MOMENT, WHEN YOU SUDDENLY REALIZED, "I NEED TO WORK OUT THIS PART OF MY LIFE."

This one is easy Donovan. A few years ago, a beautiful young girl that I was dating broke up with me. It really crumbled me, and forced to take stock of myself, and women, in a different way than I had before. I realized that she had chosen me, and that because I had so few (if any) options, I HAD to accept her. Biology is a powerful thing - she was both beautiful and young, very vivacious and outgoing - a great personality for me. So, the body (biology) responded to her very powerfully, as the opportunity to be sexually involved and perhaps eventually reproduce is often MUCH more powerful than what the mind might think is "right" or "wrong".

Following the break-up though, I realized that I had slowly compromised what I REALLY wanted so that it matched who she was. Because my dating and sexual life had been so underdeveloped, I compromised TOO much, and eventually left myself in the classic AFC pose - I had a girlfriend whom I didn't truly feel a connection with, but whom also provided a sexual outlet to a starved plug thus, I was willing to accept the wrong person for me. This is too often the case for men (and women) in our culture, so I set out to resolve this.

I scanned the internet and was totally surprised to see that there were plenty of dealers out there willing to teach me how to meet women. And, I was a willing customer. I purchased first a product which was a decent overview, but low on tactical information. Next, I learned every tactic known to man in scanning various web boards, and in taking a live workshop with a tactic-heavy teaching system. I learned a lot from all of these experiences. I was eventually invited to join the effort now known as "Project Hollywood" in Los Angeles. I agreed to move-in, and manage the events/party promotion element.

Living with Mystery, Style, Herbal et al was an amazing experience. I learned perhaps too much, and certainly observed more than I ever needed to. However, in the end I was grateful for the experience of seeing and learning from the best pick-up artists in the world. At one point, I was "ranked" number 4 in the world by a prior interviewee, Thundercat.

It became obvious at a certain point that I had had enough of LA, and moved back to NYC. I decided that I'd like to pass on what I had learned, but with a healthier slant to it. I'm not sure that being a PUA (pick-up artist) is necessarily a great idea for everyone (for some, it might be).

My philosophies and work are basically gleaned both from my experience, as well as my observations and endless research and interviews of others who are highly successful with women and relationships. I feel that meeting women should be an extension of one's lifestyle. If a guy has to create an entirely new habit and area of his life, he is going about this in entirely the wrong way. The pick-up community is useful insofar as it adds to my life, and teaches me ways to overcome some social shortcomings. What I see too often though are guys who stop their lives and become PUAs and it's to their detriment.

The CEIC philosophy is to help men understand what is attractive, and what assists in cultivating healthy relationships with all people - and, of course, with women. We feel that we help the men who are interested in having a girlfriend, and the hopeful healthy relationship. OK - enough of the soapbox-talk.

HAVE YOU HAD ANY MENTORS WITHIN THE COMMUNITY/LIFE THAT HAVE HELPED YOU IMPROVE YOUR GAME, AND WHAT DID THEY TEACH YOU?

Here are some who REALLY helped:

1) Style

2) Mystery

3) Tyler Durden

4) Pasha

5) Natural Rob

Style - How to lead without being an ass. He's terrific at handling a large group, and in allowing everyone to feel appreciated and involved. He'd always handle the house meetings, and the arduous battle between Mystery Herbal. He did a noble job.

Mystery - Really too much to describe here, but he's the best in the business. An incredibly scientific and brilliant mind. If your goal is to be a pick-up artist, you should take his program. I think the greatest offering of his is the Mystery Method Model (not sure of its precise brand name) - but he's decoded an actual structure to a seduction. NO ONE else has done this. This contribution is huge - without question the greatest discovery in the community's history. Why? Well, he's right - so that's one reason, and two - it made something so hidden suddenly teachable. My hat remains off to him

Tyler Durden - TD is one of the more maligned figures in the community. I'll not comment on those elements now or ever. However, he and I were wings for a period of time, and his continual help to me is not forgotten. I admire his need for challenge, and his extraordinarily astute mind. He thinks faster than anyone on earth. His style, as I last remember, is a very tactical one (this could have changed) - and it is really suited to his swift brain. He is very supportive of his team, and students, and I found him to be a great resource.

Pasha - Pasha is not of the community, but has a harem of women here in NYC (yes - a modern-day harem) while also teaching dominance. Like Style he is extremely friendly and warm. Pasha is easily the most genuinely kind, yet dominant male, I've ever met. Proves that being "nice" is very important, but while being dominant. Guys get confused about this, and become assholes to women hoping to get laid...doesn't work. What they want is to feel your autonomy, your integrity - your SPINE. If you can't do this while also being generous and kind, you're missing the boat my friend.

Natural Rob - One of my best friends forever he's married now, with a child and lives in Jersey. He has easily the fiercest demeanor I've ever witnessed. The first thought that crosses a guy's mind when they meet him is, "oh shit, this guy is going to break me in half". He's a former boxer, so that contributes to it. However, he has an amazing blend of masculine/feminine energies - which has helped him be extremely successful with women.

CAN YOU DESCRIBE THE FIRST TIME YOU USED A COUNTER-INTUITIVE ROUTINE THAT YIELDED IT'S PROMISED RESULTS, AND HOW YOU FELT?

Boy, you're asking me to think back a long ways here Donovan. I think it's common for men with an AFC brain to be shocked at some of the more challenge-based routines - like where you ask her where she sees herself in 5 years, or you ask her to illicit important personal values in a club, the Cube also comes to mind. The AFC is so accustomed to simply doing what she wants, rather than leading her. Leadership, as an attribute to build integrity and attractiveness, was definitely counter-intuitive for awhile. A woman I was dating for a while a number of years ago cleared it all up for me. I basically told her to meet me at such-and-such corner at 8pm, be dressed casually, and be ready for an adventure. About half-way thru the evening she said, "God, what a relief, a guy who will take charge!"

COULD YOU DESCRIBE WHAT YOU'RE LIFE WAS LIKE BEFORE YOU WERE AWARE OF THIS, AND/OR WHAT OPTIONS YOU HAVE WITH WOMEN NOW?

My life before was "take what I can get". I had no idea how to first understand dating and relationships, much less the incredibly important masculine/feminine. There's "the game" mentality, which is akin to watching the surface of the water from a helicopter and more-or-less commenting on the reflections of light etc. Then there is the actual dating scene, which leads (we hope) to relationships - this would be sort of like getting into the water, and riding waves into the shore. Ultimately though, the highest level is in understanding the nature of the masculine/feminine energy polarities in relationships. This requires a tremendous discipline, which I am cultivating currently. It feels now like I am totally submerged in the water...and that HAS to be the idea, if you're interested in authenticity and health. Now? I have many options, and then, I have few. In truth, I have lots of women in my life, that a former self would have totally dated. But, I am so selective now because I really understand what it is that I want. So, in this sense, the field narrows. I've been seeing someone now for a while, so my interest is more in developing that. But I can always feel when the vibe is "on".

WHAT WAS YOUR HARDEST/BIGGEST STICKING POINT?

This one is easy - the concept of value. I see this usually happening in five stages:

AFC Cocky AFC (using DYD, RSD, Mystery routines etc.) PUA (hopefully using his own material) Socially Skilled (no material needed) Mastery Value is mimicked in the early stages (up to PUA level). So, you basically pretend you're a good guy with an interesting life. What usually happens is that guys sicken of "the game" and abandon all the BS, and sink themselves into real living instead. This is the only thing that actually builds value - REAL experience. Value can be understood somewhat by using routines such as DHVs, but this is pure mimicry and doesn't last at all. The real building takes time and effort, it can't under any circumstances be mimicked. It has to be paid for...this is the real challenge. It is ultimately a masculine challenge, and not many are up to it. The CEIC work is a direct attempt to help with all stages, not just the first two.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE ROUTINE/STEP IN YOUR MODEL, CAN YOU DESCRIBE IT, AND WHAT IT ACCOMPLISHES?

I don't teach routines really, unless the client is a beginner (that's the only time you need them). The work I do focuses more on giving guys social skills, which are applicable to all aspects of life. The one I feel is most helpful and empowering is a skill I call "baiting". This is where the man layers his conversation with details about himself. When done a certain way, it prompts the woman to ask questions of him, giving him the power in the interaction. Again, this has to be done a certain way, which is something I pass on in person, but when done correctly, this always builds curiosity and fascination. It also works in networking/interviewing/socializing etc. It is a social skill, which by definition means that it works in all social situations. I don't believe that relating to women should require you to step outside of your life and create an entirely different personality, much less scripts of things to say

HAVE YOU HAD THE EXPERIENCE YET, WHERE YOU FEEL THAT YOU'VE REACHED A CERTAIN DEGREE OF MASTERY? CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE TIME, AND HOW YOU GOT THE REALIZATION?

I guess there are different levels to everything, but the only one that really interests me is the human scale (so to speak). Unless it now helps me across the board, I tend to not be interested. I feel that now I can authentically present myself to anyone/anytime. I also find that, by virtue of experience, I screen out a LOT of women. Prior to my current girlfriend, I had quite a lot of options. As you relate to women more and more, the criteria for what you seek in a relationship tends to specify - and therefore, the field narrows. What is nice is to feel that I am completely on the other side of the "chooser" equation - no longer will/can I be with someone that doesn't have a lot going for them.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO NEWBIES STARTING OUT, IN ORDER TO GREATLY ACCELERATE THEIR LEARNING CURVE?

It really depends on the guy. But, here are a few basic tips:

1) GET SOME GOOD PICS AND THROW AN INTERNET PROFILE on nerve.com (it's the best IMO). This way, you get a lot of experience interacting with women. It's a good way to begin to train your chemicals to be around the women you want to be around...this is particularly helpful if you haven't been on a date in a while. (Learn more about my experiences meeting women online)

2) BE SOCIAL WITH EVERYONE. The idea here is to cultivate social skills. So, when you are in any line, for example, force yourself to chat with the people in front of, or behind you. Talk to as many people per day as possible by breaking out of your comfort zone - by interacting, we learn this is really the only way.

3) APPROACH WOMEN. I always tell guys that, even if you don't want to "pick-up" girl, and prefer meeting them via social circle, it still pays to approach and learn. Here's the line I give - which usually works: "I noticed you from across the (bar, lounge, cafe etc) and had to risk making a total fool of myself to meet you. My name is" Nice and simple, direct and confident - a very solid combo. The rest can be taught, but there is a price to pay by the student, and it involves the ego and our own internal self-image. Are you willing to pay the price for this education? It's not easy...I promise anyone who works with me though that if they are willing to pay the REAL price, I will go the ends of the earth to help. That amount of willingness is rare.

WHAT'S YOUR BELIEF ON INNER GAME, AND HOW DID YOU IMPROVE IT?

Well, if the inner life is approached as a "game", we are certain to lose. There are many forces at play that determine the states, feelings and thoughts that we experience on an hourly basis. The healthy approach is to observe, and learn over time that most of what we tell ourselves is a lie. Then, the idea is to create a little space between me and these beliefs. How nice would it be to wave a magic wand to create the states that I want. The problem is, life isn't necessarily about getting what we want, usually because we have no real connection with what we want. Thus, we bounce around from drama to chaos and back again. The real idea is to love everything I find in me...pretty hard to do...but once I can do that, I have a real chance to love another.

I do believe that the CEIC product line helps men make real progress in both working with himself internally, while also making vast improvements to his outside life. The BEST way to work on myself is in both directions. Most men lack self-esteem, and the best way to cultivate that is via ones lifestyle choices, along with specific inner work. We cover that in detail, as it is so effective, if done accurately.

I deal with this in my ebook "How To Get A Girlfriend" and even more in our audio program "Natural Attraction". It's a shameless plug for sure, but if you want to understand the true nature of attraction, plus get countless tips on dating, fashion, style, all kinds of exercises to help build social skills and a step-by-step guide on how to build your lifestyle to attract the women that are RIGHT for you, you should pick them both up asap. OK - shameless plug completed. (thank you)

DO YOU HAVE A PERSONAL FAVORITE FIELD REPORT (YOUR OWN) THAT YOU COULD RELAY?

Sure, the one from years ago when TD and I pulled two girls from The Saddle Ranch in Los Angeles back to Project Hollywood. This was done under the pressure from a paying student, and a reporter from Rolling Stone magazine. We did accomplish the mission, with a duel at Mel's Drive-In with a certain Andre 3000 in a Spurs B-ball jersey. Looking back on it, it was totally fun. I think the full reprise is on a webboard out there somewhere. Very wild tale full of sound and fury, and certainly told by

WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STICKING POINT (IF ANY)?

In truth, it's about finding the women I really want to be with. It is EASY to find "hot" women. That is no longer an issue at all. What is harder I find (particularly in NYC) is finding women that have what you're looking for internally. Finding women based on looks is so much easier than finding the "person" you want to be with. The skill is in understanding how to relate to women so that you can quickly garner who it is you are dealing with. I have a very good strategy for this that I pass on to my guys, but there is still so much left to chance. Patience is the underrated virtue in this "game". Fortunately for me, there is no real problem now as I'm involved. But I know for others it's a real challenge.

WHAT ARE YOU GOALS NOW WITHIN THE COMMUNITY, AND IN LIFE?

Continue working with men, and researching the nature of masculine/feminine intimacy - and to understand how further help men empower themselves while BEING themselves at the same time. Nothing is less helpful than work which leads a man away from himself. The real endeavor for us all is to know how to help lead and encourage a greater self-relationship. This is the only thing which leads to anything real on the outside and with others.

"THANKS STEPHEN!"

Suggested free e-books to read:

Alphahot1 - Seduction Trends Seduction Goals And Time Frames
Tranceboy - Fast Seduction 101 Player Guide
Maurice Alpheus Bigelow - Sex Education A Series Of Lectures

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How To Compliment Correctly By Kezia

Why does the average man give a woman he has just met, a compliment?

In his head when giving the compliment, he's thinking. Woman like compliments, it makes them feel good. If I make them feel good. They will like me. If they like me, they might sleep with me. In theory it works, but the reality is sometimes a little different.

Woman like alcohol too; so they buy her a drink, if I buy her drink she will be happy if she is happy.......you can see where this is going.

Lets now skip over to whats going on in the woman's head at this same moment of time

Man says, "You have beautiful eyes

Woman's head is saying a few things, such as;

"How un-original"

Or

"He probably has used this line on 5 other girls tonight"

Maybe

"Why is he still looking at me? Please don't tell me he wants a compliment back? Maybe he wants a medal? I think I'll just give him a little weak "thanks" instead."

Perhaps

"Has he not even noticed my eyes are bloodshot today"

Maybe

"Funny, I never knew my eyes were on the top of my breasts"

Or

"Should I put the poor thing out of his misery?'"

Or even

"Maybe not yet, I think I can get a free drink out of this guy before moving on"

Who ever said girls were made of sugar and spice and all things nice?

Now how can guys improve on their complimenting skills to avoid scenarios like this one?

Firstly the main objective of his compliment has to take a 180 degree turn. His objective must be to get a result, which will give him more value and, consequently, her, less value. The compliment must

a. Make you stand out from the crowd

b. Make impact

c. Make her lower value than you

d. Make her want to please

e. Make her feel like an individual

f. Make you an individual

HOW DO YOU ACCOMPLISH THIS?

DOUBLE SIDED COMPLIMENTS

All this can be achieved by simply delivering a double-sided compliment; with strong eye contact, and showing no apparent care or interest for her response or reaction.

(Remember give someone the role (write in)

HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF EFFECTIVE DOUBLE-SIDED COMPLIMENTS

"You look great.... but you would look stunning a blonde"

"You have beautiful lips.... pity you don't wear red lipstick, it would be so much more sexy"

"Have you ever tried wearing red nail polish?... You have lovely hands, and that would be more elegant"

"I like your shoes, I'm really fussy about women's shoes, and those are really sensible and practical, which shows you have your head screwed on... but killer heels would make heads turn in this room"

"Mmmm, what perfume is that?.... Its ok, but when a woman wears (name of perfume) its speaks sexiness, and makes such impact"

With these examples what your basically saying is

"You look great.... but I've seen better/there's room for improvement."

The objective you want to create is to put yourself in high status/value while simultaneously allowing her to know your compliment was genuine and tailor made to her, and not to every girl in the room.

A double-sided compliment speaks volumes; it says; your confident enough to give her a sincere compliment but your also strong enough to risk losing your chances with her because of your honesty (principles and integrity)

NOTE:

"Honesty= confidence in a woman's eyes, an alpha man will not spin lies to keep someone happy, he will say what he wants when he wants because he needs no ones approval."

When you have delivered the second part of the double-sided compliment, the part where you have caught her off guard - as she was expecting the compliment to end after the first part. She did not expect the "there's always room for improvement" to come along.

Within seconds you would have gone from another time waster who thinks pleasing woman this way will get him laid, to someone who has high value in taste and wishes to be pleased rather than please.

She will be attracted to the honesty, even if it could in theory jeopardize your chances with her, this in reality only adds to the risk factor and will turn her on more.

NOTE:

"Woman love to please (I said this in my last article, and will keep on repeating myself as this is a vital characteristic men don't assume about woman)"

IF YOU SAY WE ARE BEAUTIFUL WHY DO WE NEED TO CARRY ON PLEASING YOU, WHY DO WE NEED TO MAKE THE EFFORT? The challenge is gone.

You will find that using a double-sided compliment, will not only keep her on her toes and let her know that you are not intimidated by beauty like other guys (she will presume all your girlfriends are hot) but when it comes to escalation stage, you will be able to use a full straight out compliment with even sexual connotations (no double side) she will be turned on by this, as it will appear to be genuine (remember she has categorized you as honest by now) and it will be a reward, it will be saying, now your goods enough for this compliment with out any neg after it.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Debra Benton - How To Act Like A Ceo
Reef Styles - How To Attract Online Women In Easy Way
Christian Godefroy - How To Control Your Brain At Will

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Relationship Advice How To Make It Last Forever

Good relationships come to those people who have good intentions and this statement is absolutely true. There are many consultancies and experts available and all of them provide relationship advice. However, everyone suggests you few basic things when it comes to relationship. You have to open your heart and mind if you are in relationship. It is not mandatory that you should take advice only from professionals. Individual can get the suggestions from family members and friends who have successful relationship already. There are many books and websites that provide you important information about your love life.

Relationship is a very special bond in life of every person. Everybody expect to have a perfect partner who will make his/her life more beautiful. To make a relationship beautiful, it is important for both partners to get good relationship advice. The most important aspect of advice is trust. You should not loose your trust in any situation. It has been noticed that small things create very big problem especially in the life of those people who are in relationship. Don't forget to give a proper space to your partner and keep your trust on him/her.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Michael Hall - Brain 101 How To Play The Brain Game For Fun And Profit
Susan Gillpatrick - Common Relationship Mistakes And How To Fix Them
David Deangelo - Attraction And How To Create It

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Aint No Fixer Upper

One day, a wife asks her husband to change a light bulb, and he responds with "I ain't no electrician."

Later that day, she asks him to fix a squeaky door and he says, "I ain't no carpenter."

That evening, she wanted to go the store but the car needed oil, so she asked her husband to put some oil in the car, and he says, "I ain't no mechanic," and went to work.

After he left, a man was walking by and asked her what was wrong, so she told him what her husband had done.

He says, "Well, I can fix all of that, but you have to do something for me."

"And what would that be?" she asks.

"You can have sex with me or bake me a pie."

After he left, her husband returned home and noticed that everything had been fixed. He asked his wife how she did it and she told him the story.

"So which did you do?" he asked.

"Well," she replied, "I ain't no Betty Crocker."

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tyler Durden - Update From Field
Tyler Durden - Routines Opener Curve
Dr Joy Browne - Dating For Dummies

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Connect The Dates

Attracting Opposites and Feeling Connected
Dear Aaron and Amy,

I have been casually dating for a while now but I never really connect deeply with anyone I meet. I am careful to choose people with similar interests and I try to avoid dating a "type." But still, I have no luck. I am thinking, maybe opposites really do attract. But how do I date someone who is my opposite? Where would I meet him? How do we begin to share a relationship if we have nothing in common?

CURIOUS

Dear Curious,

Opposites attract the same way everyone else does: they want to have sex. A relationship with someone like minded or otherwise in which you do not want to have sex is called a friendship. Meeting people is gigantically easy these days; really it's so easy it almost feels like cheating. I can't imagine what neanderthal, pre-internet people did to meet each other, but it certainly wasn't as easy for them as it is for you. Chat rooms, dating websites, facebook or even chatroulette (if you're a pervert, psychopath or pedophile) all exist to provide you access to millions of other similarly hopeless and lonely individuals that populate every nook and cranny of wherever you live, unless it's the moon.

If you're not an internet type, which you are even if you don't think you are because this is an internet site, then what you need to do is not be afraid to meet people and be rejected. Bars exist and contain people who want relationships, (or "relationships") all over the place, but is a bit of a craps shoot. Speed dating takes place virtually everywhere and is both brilliant and pathetic, so be prepared to wade through some of the lower ranks of society if you take that route. Remember though, gold nuggets were sifted from muddy streams before technology came along and gave us Wal*mart and took our souls.

Yours,

AARON

Dear Curious,

Aaron has many very deep and emotional relationships I agree with him though that opposites totally attract. They attract for sex, they attract because it is fun to interact with someone who is different, they attract because it is great to attract and be attractive. Your problem though, is that you want a deep relationship. I'm guessing you are just not being patient enough. Connections take time and experiences to develop.

If I may quote Tom Robbins, a writer who spends significant amounts of time loving, thinking about loving, and then writing about loving:

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love."

In a world of such diversity, who knows what is the perfect match for you. Probably the person with whom you spend the most time making a connection.Good Luck,

AMY

Suggested free e-books to read:

Dating Insider - Getting The First Date
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets
Avishai Fuksman - The Date Saver

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How To Handle A Bigger Social Life

This was an interesting article by Carlos Xuma about getting control with your social circle.

QUESTION

I've noticed recently that my cocky and funny and confidence from reading your stuff has given me a good amount of popularity among people in my college. Not just with girls, but male friends as well.

Within the past few months I have got A LOT of new friends added to my phone and people often rely on me to plan and organize social events and little group gatherings.

The problem is, there are so many people who want to hang out with me its hard for me to find time for them or plan things with any of the few groups I hang out with.

I know this question doesn't have a lot to do with dating. But more towards the social life of an Alpha man.

How do I keep track of all these people? Its starting to get confusing for me

CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS

It feels GOOD, doesn't it?

A sudden increase in your social network?

Being in demand for once instead of IGNORED

And no matter what we may think about popularity, and how we turn our noses at it, it sure does feel GOOD, doesn't it?

I used to be a real loner. I remember this time in high school when I got a school jacket with our school colors and everything.

Now, I was a poor kid, and I couldn't afford to buy one, but apparently they accidentally gave it to me thinking that I'd ordered it. The jacket fit really nice, too.

I wore that jacket around and felt proud. I felt like I finally BELONGED. For once I wasn't awkward or weird or different than the others around me. I lost my teenage maladjustment for just a week or so. I got along with people better and I felt more social.

And then they found me out. The teachers realized I didn't buy the jacket, so I had to give it back because I couldn't afford it.

After I got over my initial disappointment, I thought that I had just been ACTING confident and feeling socially valuable that whole time I had the jacket.

And now I was going back to my old self again.

But the reality was that my old self was the ACT.

And the other part of my new reality was that nothing changed about ME, just my thoughts.

The jacket didn't give me anything. I just acted on a BELIEF.

It was my own insecurities and beliefs about my place in the school pecking order.

For two weeks I was part of the "in crowd" and confident all because of a stupid high school jacket.

Funny, huh?

Now, it took me years to get over those feelings of inferiority and insecurity, but I did. And when I did, and I discovered that I could have as many friends as I wanted, I started to respond to this sudden social wealth in my life by wanting to be a part of it all. I did my best to make sure no one slipped through the cracks.

Some did, but the ones who lasted were the ones I counted as friends.

Now, you gotta admit - this is a pretty good problem to have, isn't it?

Tons of friends and an active social life. (A lot of stuff you learned from me, but most of it was already inside YOU, my Jedi pupil)

Well, guess what? You don't have to keep track of everyone and everything and keep it all organized. You can just go along for the ride.

Most guys WISH they had this problem in their lives, so I'm sure I'll get emails about how all the readers want to start a charity in your name.

Uh, yeah, sure.

Anyway

Here's an idea or two for your social logistic problem - get an iPhone, or some other kind of PDA. Keep all your contacts and numbers in there. Or just a good cell phone that can keep all the information straight.

Then create an email group with all their emails in it. Then you just send out a blast to them every so often with ideas on where to meet that weekend for a "flash-mob."

You can even setup a text message group on your phone that you can blast on a moment's notice.

"Over at Harry's Pub Come over for pitchers and darts"

Create a regular place to meet up on certain days so that everyone gets that feeling of camaraderie and community. Like the bar in "Cheers."

Then put together a few parties and events and make sure EVERYONE is invited. Enjoy your newfound social network.

Here's a little marketing tip that will blow your social network up as large as you want it:

Take a lot of fun pictures at your events, and put them up on a myspace or facebook page. Make sure everyone is having fun, and then you'll become a social legend that everyone will want to meet.

And you'll get a lot more new friends from the friends that your current friends bring along. I have some friends that hold these kinds of bring-a-friend or "date my friend" parties regularly.

Just be sure to delegate some of the organization to your more reliable and trusted friends. You don't want to have to do all the work.

And you can even have a party where everyone has to bring a single friend of the opposite sex.

You'll create a wider social circle

You'll have more women in your life (Which is the usual side-effect of a healthier social life)

And then all your free time gets used up because you're now socially VALUABLE. This is what we call a "high-quality problem."

Don't bitch about it Ride the wave!

Because this is an Alpha Man's strongest skill: POWER Social Skills.

He knows that it's not the anti-social jerk that gets to have all the fun (and the women) in life, but the guy who's calm and confident in his own skin, and can still be liked by others.

Improve your dating and social life. Make the changes you need to make to get the McLovin, the bedroom action, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.

You need to learn these Power Social Skills, and what it means to be a complete man today.

I've been interviewing women in this field lately - the smart ones who really DO know what women want - and every one of them is absolutely aligned on this fact:

WOMEN WANT A MAN WHO IS NOT FOCUSED ONLY ON WOMEN.

He has to have his complete game together, and that means having the one ability that most guys don't take the time to develop

And they don't develop it simply because they never had anyone teach it to them.

Well that's going to change

Go have a look at the new social revolution that I'm starting with guys right now.

So that you can have the kind of life that YOU choose to lead, with the success that most guys thought you had to inherit or get through luck

I'll be back again soon to teach you more about Power Social Skills

Your Friend,

Carlos Xuma

Suggested free e-books to read:

Fj Shark - How To Be The Jerk Women Love
Stylelife Academy - How To Work The Personals

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Hmm

I don't ususally post horoscopes ("although I will confess to reading mine daily (I have it e-mailed to me--oh, be quiet) because it's usually so out there it gives me a giggle"), but I rather loved the top half of todays predictions ("yes", "very much so"), so I thought I'd share.

May 4th 2006

Some unexpected but welcome communications could come your way, [..."my name deleted to protect the innocent..."], through fax, email, cell phone, or other tools of recent technology - probably from either a lover or a close friend. Planning for a pleasant and exciting journey by air is indicated. Today, you relate well to others; friendships grow closer, romantic relationships more intimate. Someone close to you could even move into your neighborhood. Tonight: Plan a small gathering. You'll enjoy it!

Suggested free e-books to read:

In10se - Game
Geoffrey Miller - The Mating Mind

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Stephen writes:

It's simple:

Donovan

Here are some who REALLY helped:

Or

Maybe

Perhaps

Maybe

Or

Or even

DOUBLE SIDED COMPLIMENTS

With these examples what your basically saying is

NOTE:

NOTE:

Attracting Opposites and Feeling Connected

CURIOUS

AARON

AMY

QUESTION

CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS

Being in demand for once instead of IGNORED

Anyway

You'll create a wider social circle

Well that's going to change

Your Friend, Carlos Xuma

May 4th 2006

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