QUESTION
I've noticed recently that my cocky and funny and confidence from reading your stuff has given me a good amount of popularity among people in my college. Not just with girls, but male friends as well.
Within the past few months I have got A LOT of new friends added to my phone and people often rely on me to plan and organize social events and little group gatherings.
The problem is, there are so many people who want to hang out with me its hard for me to find time for them or plan things with any of the few groups I hang out with.
I know this question doesn't have a lot to do with dating. But more towards the social life of an Alpha man.
How do I keep track of all these people? Its starting to get confusing for me
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS
It feels GOOD, doesn't it?
A sudden increase in your social network?
Being in demand for once instead of IGNORED
And no matter what we may think about popularity, and how we turn our noses at it, it sure does feel GOOD, doesn't it?
I used to be a real loner. I remember this time in high school when I got a school jacket with our school colors and everything.
Now, I was a poor kid, and I couldn't afford to buy one, but apparently they accidentally gave it to me thinking that I'd ordered it. The jacket fit really nice, too.
I wore that jacket around and felt proud. I felt like I finally BELONGED. For once I wasn't awkward or weird or different than the others around me. I lost my teenage maladjustment for just a week or so. I got along with people better and I felt more social.
And then they found me out. The teachers realized I didn't buy the jacket, so I had to give it back because I couldn't afford it.
After I got over my initial disappointment, I thought that I had just been ACTING confident and feeling socially valuable that whole time I had the jacket.
And now I was going back to my old self again.
But the reality was that my old self was the ACT.
And the other part of my new reality was that nothing changed about ME, just my thoughts.
The jacket didn't give me anything. I just acted on a BELIEF.
It was my own insecurities and beliefs about my place in the school pecking order.
For two weeks I was part of the "in crowd" and confident all because of a stupid high school jacket.
Funny, huh?
Now, it took me years to get over those feelings of inferiority and insecurity, but I did. And when I did, and I discovered that I could have as many friends as I wanted, I started to respond to this sudden social wealth in my life by wanting to be a part of it all. I did my best to make sure no one slipped through the cracks.
Some did, but the ones who lasted were the ones I counted as friends.
Now, you gotta admit - this is a pretty good problem to have, isn't it?
Tons of friends and an active social life. (A lot of stuff you learned from me, but most of it was already inside YOU, my Jedi pupil)
Well, guess what? You don't have to keep track of everyone and everything and keep it all organized. You can just go along for the ride.
Most guys WISH they had this problem in their lives, so I'm sure I'll get emails about how all the readers want to start a charity in your name.
Uh, yeah, sure.
Anyway
Here's an idea or two for your social logistic problem - get an iPhone, or some other kind of PDA. Keep all your contacts and numbers in there. Or just a good cell phone that can keep all the information straight.
Then create an email group with all their emails in it. Then you just send out a blast to them every so often with ideas on where to meet that weekend for a "flash-mob."
You can even setup a text message group on your phone that you can blast on a moment's notice.
"Over at Harry's Pub Come over for pitchers and darts"
Create a regular place to meet up on certain days so that everyone gets that feeling of camaraderie and community. Like the bar in "Cheers."
Then put together a few parties and events and make sure EVERYONE is invited. Enjoy your newfound social network.
Here's a little marketing tip that will blow your social network up as large as you want it:
Take a lot of fun pictures at your events, and put them up on a myspace or facebook page. Make sure everyone is having fun, and then you'll become a social legend that everyone will want to meet.
And you'll get a lot more new friends from the friends that your current friends bring along. I have some friends that hold these kinds of bring-a-friend or "date my friend" parties regularly.
Just be sure to delegate some of the organization to your more reliable and trusted friends. You don't want to have to do all the work.
And you can even have a party where everyone has to bring a single friend of the opposite sex.
You'll create a wider social circle
You'll have more women in your life (Which is the usual side-effect of a healthier social life)
And then all your free time gets used up because you're now socially VALUABLE. This is what we call a "high-quality problem."
Don't bitch about it Ride the wave!
Because this is an Alpha Man's strongest skill: POWER Social Skills.
He knows that it's not the anti-social jerk that gets to have all the fun (and the women) in life, but the guy who's calm and confident in his own skin, and can still be liked by others.
Improve your dating and social life. Make the changes you need to make to get the McLovin, the bedroom action, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.
You need to learn these Power Social Skills, and what it means to be a complete man today.
I've been interviewing women in this field lately - the smart ones who really DO know what women want - and every one of them is absolutely aligned on this fact:
WOMEN WANT A MAN WHO IS NOT FOCUSED ONLY ON WOMEN.
He has to have his complete game together, and that means having the one ability that most guys don't take the time to develop
And they don't develop it simply because they never had anyone teach it to them.
Well that's going to change
Go have a look at the new social revolution that I'm starting with guys right now.
So that you can have the kind of life that YOU choose to lead, with the success that most guys thought you had to inherit or get through luck
I'll be back again soon to teach you more about Power Social Skills
Your Friend,
Carlos Xuma
Suggested free e-books to read:
Fj Shark - How To Be The Jerk Women LoveStylelife Academy - How To Work The Personals
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