Beverage Negotiations

Beverage Negotiations Cover
Highlighting once again the perverse way in which "dinner and drinks" capture the female mind, I will recount a recent experience that played out well, though unpredictably.

I was leaving my business partner's house in Brooklyn after a day of working on our business and I popped into a corner store for a bottle of water. Inside, two girls were buying groceries. Quickly, I asked for Kate's number, mentioning I had to get back to the city, but that she was cute and we should get together another night. That was enough - she gave me the digits.

Over the course of the next week, she got a message or two inquiring about her night, did she want to meet for a drink?, etc. I was busy and working on many girls, so she didn't get any focused attention. Then, on some random weeknight, she texted back that she could meet me uptown. I told her my corner, and she took a taxi up. I was home and when she got here, she texted, "I'm here." I texted her the building number and buzzer; it was about 9:30.

She came up and sat down. We talked. She got comfortable. The candles were flickering and the music was on. After chatting for fifteen minutes, I began to prepare the rug and pillows on the floor. She came over, took off her shoes and felt the pelt under her feet. I eased her down and soon we were on our knees, close to each other.

I kissed her. She responded and things progressed. My hand went up her skirt and her legs parted. Her panties were damp. Before long, most of our clothes were off and she was reclining on the pillows, legs slightly apart.

Clearly, this wasn't what she had anticipated. She had signed-up for a cocktail, and now she was on the brink of sex without a beverage... As I reached for a condom, she resisted. And then, to my surprise, she proffered the following: "If we do this, you'll take me out for a drink after, right?" I agreed. We had sex.

Afterwards, we dressed and walked out on Madison. Thankfully, the bars were closed and the sole option was a bodega down the street. I got a lime seltzer, and she, seeing that I wasn't going to drink, got a soda.

COST OF DATE: $2.17

We walked into Central Park, sat on a bench and talked for a bit. She discussed this guy she likes, but isn't sure if he's that interested. They ride bikes around town, meet for coffee, etc. We had a nice chat and then I walked her to the train. She left, Brooklyn-bound.

What struck me most about this "date" was how Kate clung desperately to this notion of "a drink" in the face of imminent sex. I've found that to be a very female behavior: concern for irrelevant dating protocol in the midst of a highly sexual moment. I was naked, in front of her with a hard-on and she was naked, lying down and wet. I was about to enter her, and her mind was focused on getting a drink out of the night.

INSANE, IN MY OPINION.

I know they like to feel "compensated" somehow for sex, but this is ridiculous. How can the brain allot resources to planning a beverage when it should be entirely focused on the immediate physicality of the situation? Only the female brain could do this, which demonstrates that a) women can multitask, and b) women regard sex as an instrument of barter, insufficient on its own merits as a valid activity.

As a man, I say that's pathetic and I will do everything in my power to counteract such pathological thinking.

BY PAUL JANKA, AUTHOR OF ATTRACTION FORMULA



Suggested free e-books to read:

Marty Beckerman - Generation Slut
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America Best And Worst Cities For Dating

America Best And Worst Cities For Dating Image
Hooking that hottie is hard enough without the odds stacked against you, so the city researchers at Sperling’s BestPlaces have identified for you "America’s Best and Worst Cities for Dating."

The study is based on criteria that includes percentage of singles ages 18-24, population density, and dating venues per capita such as concerts, coffee shops, bars, bowling alleys, etc., and includes 80 metro areas in America. We teamed up with AXE Deodorant Bodyspray, which specializes in the dating game, to find out which city is revered as the D.C. (Dating Capital) of the U.S.

Land of the Longhorn


Yee haw! Austin, Texas, tops the list of best cities to play the dating game. Is the city you call home the place to find that special someone?

Best Cities for Dating


Austin, TX
Colorado Springs, CO
San Diego, CA
Raleigh/Durham, NC
Seattle, WA
Charleston, SC
Norfolk, VA
Ann Arbor, MI
Springfield, MA
Honolulu, HI

Worst Cities for Dating


Kansas City, MO
Wichita, KS
Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN
Detroit, MI
Louisville, KY
Greensboro/Winston-Salem, NC
Atlanta, GA
Pittsburgh, PA
Houston, TX
Charlotte, NC

Interesting Facts from the Top Ten


“Large cities that everyone associates with socializing, like Los Angeles and Miami, did not rank particularly high, scoring lower in categories like coffee shops per capita and flowers bought as gifts,” said Bert Sperling, president of Sperling’s BestPlaces.

“But cities like Austin (No. 1), Colorado Springs (No. 2) and Ann Arbor (No. 8) were not a complete surprise – they are heavy-populated college towns and it’s easy for young singles to get together.”

Austin, TX: Taking home the grand prize, Austin scores relatively high in everything, from frequency of dating partners to the number of establishments to meet people. Austin also has the highest percentage of 18-24-year-olds and knows how to have fun as they spent more money out socializing than any other area. Austin residents also had the highest expenditures on alcohol purchased away from home.
Colorado Springs, CO: Ranks in the 99th percentile for socializing at bars and also scores high in the dining out category
San Diego, CA: Scores high in the diversity index, which rates the likelihood of randomly meeting someone of a different race or ethnicity, and, of course, San Diego is off the charts when it comes to outdoor recreational opportunities
Raleigh Durham, NC: Has a large 18-24-year-old population and a high amount of online daters in the area
Seattle, WA: No surprise here - Seattle has the largest amount of coffee shops (great places for meeting people or gathering to rehash the previous night’s activities). It also has the highest percentage of online daters.
Charleston, SC: Ranks second in the amount of lingerie shops per capita (behind Columbia, SC)
Norfolk, VA: Came in near the top due to the exceptional amount of flowers that were brought as gifts for a special someone. Online dating was also high, in the 83rd percentile.
Ann Arbor, MI: Scores in the 98th percentile for percentage of singles and ranks high in the dining out category as well
Springfield, MA: Springfield scores high in many categories, among them are percentage of singles, health clubs per capita and bars per capita in the area
Honolulu, HI: Honolulu ranks first in the diversity index category, which rates the likelihood of randomly meeting someone of a different race or ethnicity, and scores the highest in the dining out category as well. Honolulu has the lowest number of lingerie shops per capita, probably because no one’s wearing much clothing to begin with.

Better Luck Next Time


Below are some of the reasons that large cities like Detroit, Atlanta and Houston bottomed out in the study.

18-24 population: Pittsburgh (overall No. 73 ranking) and Detroit (overall No. 77) are among cities with the lowest number of 18-24 year olds
Percentage of Singles: Charlotte, NC, (overall No. 71) is among the cities with the lowest percentage of singles
Latte, Anyone?: Wichita (overall No. 79) and Greensboro (overall No. 75) are among those cities that are home to the least number of coffee shops per capita, leaving few good places for young people to converge and trade stories after a fun night out
Remove Earplugs: Louisville (overall No. 76) scores low in the concert category; apparently the tour buses are not making a habit of stopping and rocking in Louisville
Necklaces and Bracelets and Rings, Oh My: Two of the cities where jewelry is least often bought as a gift are Detroit (overall No. 77) and Minneapolis (overall No. 78)
Ooo la la!: Houston (overall No. 72) is among cities with the least amount of lingerie shops per capita
Behind Bars: Atlanta (overall No. 74) is among the cities with the least amount of hot new bars, leaving young singles looking for places to meet potential hook ups

Reports from the field


"We've received feedback from some of the lowest ranking cities, and it appears our findings are on-track," noted Sperling. "In these cities, there are relatively few young singles and the towns are so spread out, it can be difficult for them to find each other. Some are using this study as a call to action to provide places where people can hang out and get together."

The Wichita Eagle comments about this study, "This survey might be tragically accurate. In the last year, this reporter has received dozens of complaints and pleas for help from singles ranging in age from early 20s to late 60s. Their gripes are all similar. They want to meet someone special but don't know how to do it or where to go. And they certainly don't want to prowl smoky bars waiting to be picked up and/or rejected"

Methodology


AXE, known coast-to-coast for their dating game expertise, came up with the idea of finding "America's Best and Worst Cities for Dating," using 24 distinct criteria including, among others: population density, percentage of singles, frequency of hooking up, dating venues such as coffee shops, bars, and intimate apparel stores and flowers and jewelry bought as gifts.

The study is based on the most currently available figures from the Census Bureau (population characteristics and statistics), Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (frequency of sexual partners), Match.com (online daters), and criteria from leading relationship experts who weighed categories in terms of dating importance.
About Sperling’s BestPlaces

Pick up a newspaper and chances are you’ll see some of Sperling’s BestPlaces’ research. In the past few months, the research experts have conducted studies for Intel (“Most Unwired Cities), Pep Boys (Most Drivable Cities), and Most Stressful Cities. Visit www.bestplaces.net for the latest studies and the interactive Find Your Best Place to Live feature.
AXE Deodorant Bodyspray

AXE Deodorant Bodyspray comes loaded in funky black cans and has names like Phoenix, Tsunami, Kilo, and Orion. To learn more about AXE products, check out their website at www.theaxeeffect.com. They’ve also developed a neat Flash feature based on our study.

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How Do I Choose The Right Site For Me

How Do I Choose The Right Site For Me Image
With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.

Here are some things to consider:


(1) Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
(2) Features. Which features are the most important to you?
(A) Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
(B) Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
(C) Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
(D) Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
(E) Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?

These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.

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Old Songs About Kissing

Old Songs About Kissing Cover
Kissing is one of those wonderful things that new couples do to let each other know that they want each other. Of course, nowadays, a kiss is not just a kiss anymore - it comes complete with full on sex.

But there was a time when a kiss meant everything to men and women, and giving someone a tongue kiss, or French kiss, as it were, held a special meaning.

And so the songs that come from that time give off the feel of just how special kissing was and perhaps still is to some.

Here, now, are some great old songs about kissing.

OLD SONGS ABOUT KISSING #1

A KISS GOODNIGHT



ELLA FITZGERALD


With a voice like silk and lyrics that tel it like it is, Ella Fitzgerald's A Kiss Goodnight from 1945 hits all the right notes and is indeed for lovers everywhere.

So if you are in the midst of a new relationship and kissing is getting good, use this song as a prelude to more than just a kiss the next time around.

BEST LYRIC: A kiss goodnight is alright, but remember this, that a kiss goodnight leads to another kiss

OLD SONGS ABOUT KISSING #2

KISS ME QUICK



ELVIS PRESLEY


Elvis wasn't exactly known for his fidelity and so when a song like Kiss Me Quick makes its way out of his mouth, you know that it's because he's addressing someone.

Love is fleeting, no doubt, and Elvis wants to take full advantage of today's feeling with this song because things may change tomorrow. For those of you who kiss and drink or lust for someone, this is the perfect song.

BEST LYRIC: Kiss me quick while we still have this feeling, Hold me close and never let me go

OLD SONGS ABOUT KISSING #3

KISS



MARILYN MONROE


As beautiful as she was, Marilyn Monroe didn't have a great voice or great acting skills, but what she lacked in talent, she more than made up for with presence.

And although her voice couldn't hit high ranges, she could definitely seduce someone with her voice. And when Marilyn Monroe asks you to kiss her, you kiss her.

BEST LYRIC: And make my life perfection, Take me, darling don't foresake me, Kiss me, Hold me tight, Love me, love me tonight

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Sarina Rodrigues Saturn An Assistant Professor Of Psychology At Oregon State University

Sarina Rodrigues Saturn An Assistant Professor Of Psychology At Oregon State University Image
CORVALLIS, Ore. - Scientists have discovered that a gene that influences empathy, parental sensitivity and sociability is so powerful that even strangers observing 20 seconds of silent video identified people with a particular genetic variation to be more caring and trusting.

In the study, 23 romantic couples were videotaped while one of the partners described a time of suffering in their lives. The other half of the couple and their physical, non-verbal reactions were the focal point of the study. Groups of complete strangers viewed the videos. The observers were asked to rate the person on traits such as how kind, trustworthy, and caring they thought the person was, based on just 20 seconds of silent video.s

"Our findings suggest even slight genetic variation may have tangible impact on people's behavior, and that these behavioral differences are quickly noticed by others," said Aleksandr Kogan, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto and the study's lead author.

The study builds on previous research conducted by Sarina Rodrigues Saturn, an assistant professor of psychology at Oregon State University. In that study, Saturn and her colleagues linked a genetic variation that affects hormone/neurotransmitter oxytocin's receptor to empathy and stress reactivity. Saturn is senior author on the new study, which is in the latest issue of "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences" (PNAS).

"It was amazing to see how the data aligned so strongly by genotype," Saturn said. "It makes sense that a gene crucial for social processing would yield these findings; other studies have shown that people are good at judging people at a distance and first impressions really make an impact."

Before the videos were recorded, the scientists tested the couples and identified their genotype as GG, AG, or AA. Individuals homozygous for the G allele (carrying two copies of the G version of the gene) of the oxytocin receptor tend to be more "prosocial," defined by researchers as the ability to behave in a way that benefits another person. In contrast, the carriers of the A version of the gene (AG or AA genotypes) tend to have a higher risk of autism, as well as self-reported lower levels of positive emotions, empathy and parental sensitivity.

Oxytocin has already been significantly linked with social affiliation and reduction in stress. It is a peptide made in the hypothalamus and has targets all over the body and the brain. It is best known for its role in female reproduction and is associated with social recognition, pair bonding, dampening negative emotional responses, trust and love.

Out of the 10 people who were marked by the neutral observer as "most prosocial, six carried the GG genotype associated with the oxytocin receptor; of the 10 people who were marked as "least trusted," nine were carriers of the A version of the gene. The people carrying an A version of the gene were viewed as less kind, trustworthy and caring toward their partners in the video.

"The oxytocin receptor gene in particular has become of great interest because a select number of studies suggest that it is related to how prosocial people view themselves," Kogan said. "Our study asked the question of whether these differences manifest themselves in behaviors that are quickly detectable by strangers, and it turns out they did."

What is not known, however, is what occurs from the genetic level to the behavior - that is, the exact way the gene affects the biology underlying behavior is still poorly understood and remains a major topic of inquiry. Saturn, for one, believes that people can and do overcome their genes all the time.

"These are people who just may need to be coaxed out of their shells a little," she said. "It may not be that we need to fix people who exhibit less social traits, but that we recognize they are overcoming a genetically influenced trait and that they may need more understanding and encouragement."

Kogan said that many factors ultimately influence kindness and cooperation.

"The oxytocin receptor gene is one of those factors - but there many other forces in play, both genetic and non-genetic," he said. "How all these pieces fit together to create the coherent whole of an individual who is or is not kind is a great mystery that we are only beginning to scratch."

Laura Saslow at the University of California at San Francisco, Emily Impett with the University of Toronto, Christopher Oveis with University of California at San Diego, and Dacher Keltner with University of California at Berkeley contributed to this study.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tranceboy - The Psychology Of Social Engineering
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Social Psychology Key To Smooth Mergers And Acquisitions

Social Psychology Key To Smooth Mergers And Acquisitions Image
Business mergers and acquisitions usually lead to stress and chaos within the workplace. Employees and stakeholders, including suppliers, feel uncertain and frustrated at the loss of security and control over their position and career, and thus over a huge part of their lives. This can all be avoided if companies make use of good communication skills.

Company leaders often overlook the power of communication. They fail to keep the employees and stakeholders in the loop, undervaluing the worth of each individual and drastically affecting the efficiency and performance of the whole team.

With resistance being the default response to change, the best thing that a new leadership team can do to make the most out of a delicate situation is to create open communication to engage employees in the transition strategies during the "merger and acquisition". With a good set of communication skills, both on the business and personal level, understanding human nature's need to resist change can help leaders be successful in working with the emotional response rather than against it.

Here are a few tips on how to use COMMUNICATION SKILLS to help for a smoother merger and acquisition:

* Immediately initiate a communication plan. There's no reason to wait for all the facts and responses to come in because by then, new leaders would have lost human momentum. Start sharing and listening as soon as possible.
* Be open about why the step is necessary or being considered. Talk about the benefits and risks and take into consideration employee concerns.
* Talk about the whole process of the MERGER AND ACQUISITION, how long it's expected to take, how it can possibly affect jobs and what is to be expected. The more informed employees are, the more prepared they can be as the process goes along, giving them back some control they may feel they have lost.
* Create a listening plan. When the term communication is used in relationships, business settings or policies, the idea is the same - talk. Communication is about sharing and listening. Demonstrating empathy toward stakeholder concerns through listening channels is just as important as sharing information.

The best tip for anyone dealing with a business merger and acquisition is improving on "communication skills", bringing focus to honesty and openness. With the idea of change looming, opening communication lines between old leaders, new leaders and employees gives back the certainty and security that was lost just by being given the notion that a merger was taking place. By opening communication lines, the stress and chaos in the working environment during the time of huge change can be lessened and people can perform better as the process of merger and acquisition moves along.

(c) 2012 Incedo Group, LLC

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The Advantages Of Online Dating For Women

The Advantages Of Online Dating For Women Image
In the past, i.e. the 1990’s, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PC’s or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream.

There are many reasons for the phenomenal growth of online dating sites and the number of people, men and women of all ages, races and religions who use them as their primary source for meeting people and looking for “the one”.

If you don’t believe me, just ask your friends in the “real” world. If they are honest, most of them will tell you they have or are using an online dating service.

Here are three good reasons why thousands of people sign up for dating services everyday:

(1) You can be anonymous. You will never be required to give your real name, address, email address, phone number or place of employment to another online user. You, of course, may do so but only at your own discretion and only when you feel completely safe. You are not required to post a picture of yourself. Posting a picture, however, will get more responses to your profile. So you can surf through the other members on the dating site you have joined with complete anonymity.

(2) You have so many more choices online that you do in your brick and mortar world. Before the world of online dating came of age, the choice of friends and even of lifetime partners was limited to those we came in contact with through college or work. No more…the world is your oyster. You can go through hundreds…even thousands of profiles to find the right man for you.

(3) The “safety factor” is the biggest reason of all. An online dating service will never reveal your personal information. You get to choose who has that information and when they have it.

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Careful Aim

Careful Aim Cover
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.

The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."

The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.

"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies.

The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's d*ck off."

The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

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