Pick-up Library

More Popular Online Dating Activities

A couple of popular online activities are sharing recipes and bidding at auctions. And both of these easily fit well into online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

To help many dates get better acquainted online, here’s what potential cyber-dates do.

Bidding at Auctions – Ebay auctions sell nearly anything and everything! So surf around and enter searches like the dates you were in middle school. Share cool memorabilia photos of old games and toys from when you were a child or when your parents or grandparents were little; The Dating Game, Oscar Mayer wiener whistles, The Partridge Family Album, Bobby Sherman’s Album, 45’s and more.

Sharing Recipes – People get tired talking about the weather. So a popular subject to turn to is food. Sharing favorite foods and recipes helps break the ice and even forms friendships over culinary skills – or lack of – and tastes. Search your favorite search engine for “free recipes” to share. Take photos of your culinary creations and share them with your date, too.

Do not date this person:

* Relationship status of Currently Separated. He/she is not ready.
* Significant portions of profile are left blank, including religion, want kids, have kids, education level.

Incomplete Profile

Could mean one of two things. Successful online dating requires buy-in; the belief that it can actually work and that the effort one puts in will be worthwhile. An incomplete profile suggests he or she isn’t taking the process seriously. The other possibility is that the person with an incomplete profile has something to hide. Maybe he or she does have kids, but doesn’t want you to know. Whichever the reason, people who are comfortable with who they are and what they want, and are willing to put their cards on the table for the chance at a winning pair, are going to be your best choices if you’re looking for a good love match.

Currently Separated

Granted, there’s no foolproof way around the fact that even in the absence of this telltale red flag, he or she may be 24 hours out of a breakup and looking for a relationship bandaid to ease the pain. Nevertheless, you’re stepping on a heartmine if you walk into a date with Currently Separated. Even as I’ve strategically avoided Currently Separated, I’ve exchanged emails with his neighbors, Just Broke Off My Engagement and She Just Broke Up With Me Yesterday. Conveniently omitting this information from their profile and our email exchanges, I’d typically hear about it in an email that sounded something like this: “I was really looking forward to our coffee date that starts in 10 minutes, but my ex-girlfriend just texted me and I’m going to drop everything to text her back in hopes she’s changed her mind and we can get back together and live happily ever after. Oh, I know I didn’t mention her, but she sure is great, you should meet her sometime.”

Online dating can be an educational and fun experience. So learn more about each other and have fun while you’re at it. Take a cyber-stroll down memory lane together and see what’s cookin’.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Elena Petrova - Scam Prevention Tips For Online Dating
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets

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Dating Agency

Really interesting article in New York Times on choosing mates, and logic behind it. I agree with article on many points from an "average" prospective, that all being equal those attributes will matter. Face to face meeting is much better "overall" then online meeting.

Online dating reveals the most exquisite calibrations of the Flaw-O-Matic because the daters fill out questionnaires listing more attributes than could ever fit in a personal ad. They can spend all day finding minute faults in hundreds of potential partners. But that's also why so many people never make a lasting match.

"When you have all these criteria to consider, and so many people to choose from, you start striving for perfection," Dr. Ariely says. "You don't want to settle for someone who's not ideal in height, age, religion and 45 other dimensions."

It's the same problem afflicting New Yorkers: with so many prospects in the big city, they refuse to stop searching.

Customers of online dating services typically end up going out with fewer than 1 percent of the people whose profiles they study online. But something very different happens at a speed-dating event. The average participant makes a match with at least 1 in 10 of the people they meet; some studies have found the average is 2 or 3 out of 10. Women are still pickier than men, and in some speed-dating experiments they still prefer affluent, well-educated men, but the preference is less strong - and in some other studies they don't discriminate at all by income or social status.

Whole Article Here.

Here is another one of his article on analysis of speed dating and online dating, he is spot on.

Another researcher, Eli J. Finkel of Northwestern University, told me that one of the blog's readers, Joseph, nicely summarized the problems of online dating. Joseph explained that he'd given up on online dating because he found people started thinking they could place an order for a perfect partner:

But one of the major X-factors (including on more down-to-earth sites like Craigslist) seems to be the anonymity and fantasy that is part of our everyday virtual lives. Both parties in the dating exchange imagine and create alternative realities much more easily than a real-life introduction allows. It may rub avid on-line daters (and bloggers) the wrong way, but especially in the realm of romantic relationships the artifice of virtual communication probably raises more barriers than it breaks down.

Read the rest here.

My own experience of online is a mixed bag, i tend to do well online, but i don't like the amount of effort/time it requires and the amount of power of choice it gives to women, usually much more then to men. It is also very inconsistent so some weeks you might get back to back phone numbers and dates and then have drought of few weeks. Which is not a pleasant experience, so online should be used only as secondary additional way to meet, never as a primary one. Same goes for speed dating, it shouldn't be main way to meet, only as a secondary.Sign up for Pick up Future RSS feed.

Suggested free e-books to read:

John Overdurf - Training Trances
Michael Webb - Dating Exercises

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Wives Spend A Working Week Each Year Nagging

Henpecked British blokes have to put up with an entire week of nagging from their wives every year, it had been found.

A study discovered the average woman moan at their man for more than two-and-a-half hours a week about helping out around the house and cutting back on booze.

That works out to a total of around 11 hours a month - the equivalent of five-and-a-half days a year or more than one working week.

Not helping to tidy the house emerged as the most common bug-bear for a woman to nag about, followed by not doing the dishes.

Other common complaints included spending too much money, not being romantic enough… and not listening when they are busy nagging.
Other popular things women bend a man's ear about include drinking too much, their diet, and not sorting out clothes for the washing.

The study of 3,000 Brits revealed 86 per cent of men get nagged by their other half, with one in five claiming their missus goes on at them 'all the time'.

And women clearly aren't ashamed of their moaning as 87 per cent admitted giving their partner a hard time.

TOP 10 NAGGING TOPICS

1. Not tidying the house
2. Not doing the dishes
3. Spending too much money
4. Not being romantic enough
5. Not sorting out the laundry
6. Watching too much sport
7. Drinking too much
8. Not making the bed
9. Spending too much time on a hobby
10. Not mowing the lawn

A spokesperson for the Everyman campaign, which carried out the study said: "It seems all men are on the receiving end of some nagging from time to time.

"And I'm sure many women will say that's the only way to get a man to do something.

"While it's normally over trivial things such as helping out more with the kids or tidying up after themselves, women are also having to pester their men to get them to think about more serious issues in their lives."

Suggested free e-books to read:

Jennifer Smith - Why I Love Men Dating Playbook For Women
C Kellogg - How To Seduce A Woman 3 Fears

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Lr Threesome

Here's one of the best LR's I have ever had the pleasure to read. Ciaran has an easy writing style and tight game (see his Shock and awe post here).

Don't want to say too much more other than - enjoy the read.

Ironic, really. I'd just spent the morning monkeying around Edinburgh, and I'd bought a book on philosophy and a new copy of Neil Strauss's The Game, having given my original away as a present to a clueless chum. It was still early afternoon, so I dropped in to a pub I used to work at on Edinburgh's Royal Mile. I bumped into a friend of mine, Richard, who is a natural player of real talent and panache, and we sat outside at a table, smoking cigarettes, drinking beer and shooting the shit.

A couple, Daniel and Sarah (friends of Richard), sat with us, and after a while the topic turned to the books I was reading. The book on philosophy drew the predictable derisive accusations of pretention, which in all fairness I agree with. Most books on modern philosophy are only useful if you're fresh out of toilet paper, so we all had a chuckle about that.

Then Richard started ripping on me for reading The Game. He'd never read it (and in all fairness he doesn't need to), and in classic alpha style he starts trying to belittle me in an amusing and charming way over these "tricks" and "techniques" that I'm allegedly into. I don't even remotely rise to it, I just talk about Strauss, Mystery, and the story of the book. I also talked, lightly but genuinely about how it changed my life, which it did. I spoke briefly about the kind of guy I was a year ago when I'd walked away from a relationship I really cared about with an awesome girl. I explained that it was because I knew that the attraction, the electricity - whatever name you want to stick to that spark of magic that had drawn us together in the first place - had gone and I had no idea how to bring it back. All I could do was jump, before I was pushed. Sometimes I still miss her, but I didn't tell them that. I never tell anyone that.

I mentioned in passing about how I'd sworn to myself that I'd never walk away from someone I loved again, but I had no idea how to beat the insecurities with women that had dogged me my whole life. Then I read The Game.

Richard's comments on routines also didn't bother me because I personally find the free-form, genuine and sexually expressive ideas of Juggler>> and Gunwitch>> to be far more in tune with my personality. All this time, I'm just being open. I'm just being genuine. I don't give a fuck what they think. Nonetheless, I decide to have a chuckle and start telling them about Style's Dual Induction Massage routine. At this point, Daniel perks up. Even Richard looks interested, and a flash of playerish respect whispers across his chiseled face for Strauss's manipulative genius.

Sarah starts to get stroppy, not at me - she's smiling at me - but at her boyfriend who's getting altogether too excited at the possibility of engineering a threesome with two random girls.

All this time, the beautiful sound of girlish laughter is rising from the table next to me. Whoever they are they're having fun. I don't look around. There's no need to. Not yet.

Sarah stands to leave, and she squeezes my hand slightly as she shakes it. I nod imperceptibly, and then give Daniel a megawatt smile and a handshake. He returns my grip, oblivious. They leave.

Richard's also heading off, and I'm not going to stop him. I have work to do.

So there I am. Sitting in the smoking area. Socially proofed by three friends, but now alone with my book. The book makes me look normal. Intellectual even, if you believe women read that far into things. But then of course, I'm not reading. I'm listening.

Every now and then, an opener is handed to you on a plate. It's so easy. It's not just an opening line, but also a chance to demonstrate some real personality, humour and worth. There are four hot American girls. One of them is talking about Blackadder.

"No," One of them says, "It's the funniest show ever!"

I turn around.

"Are you talking about Blackadder?" I ask.

"Yeah." The girl says. She's pretty. Grungy, a bit of a rock chick. Looks like Lori Petty from Tank Girl.

"I fucking love Blackadder. How the hell do you know about it? You're American." Please God, I think - let her not be Canadian...

"My mom watches it - she's got all the scripts and everything." Thank fuck.

"Fucking cool." I turn to the group, to the chick who Tank Girl was originally talking to. "Blackadder," I continue, "is a comedy series from the 90's - it's written by Richard Curtis, the guy who wrote Four Weddings and a Funeral."

"Oh," She says. She had no idea.

"Yeah. It's brilliant, but the first series was a bit crap. Blackadder's character was a bit of a clown, but he turns into the most acerbic, sarcastic bastard in the second series. He's brilliant." Tank Girl perks up.

"That's exactly what I was going to say!" She says, brightly.

Houston, we have lift off. We're talking about Blackadder, swapping impressions and jokes, going into general comedy chat. It's all pure gold. We go inside. We drink. We talk about porn. We go outside for more cigarettes. I give the girls alone time for a chat every now and then when I'm getting indicators of interest from one of more of them so they can all have a girly giggle about how hot I am.

After a while two of the girls leave. I pull them both in for a hug, and they love it. They go, after telling me that they'll be in X bar tonight and I should really be there. I'm left with Tank Girl, and a pretty blonde chick who I discover is half Italian, half Native American Indian. Nice. I shall hereafter refer to her as Pocahontas.

So were chatting, and one of them makes a wisecrack about something. We all laugh.

"Aw shit, you girls are lovely. I'm really glad I randomly started talking to you." I say.

This is good shit. In a one-on-one with a chick, or in a group when you get them laughing, when you sense that they're happy you can roll this shit out. Technically (in Style-speak) it's a way to force, and to make explicit, a hook point. It's like using crampons to climb a mountain. It doesn't really matter how they respond either. They don't have to come back with a compliment - although they will if you've gauged it right - as long as you're not phased by them not telling you you're cool in return, they'll feel guilty when you just keep on talking. They'll feel guilty because you show that you weren't trying to play them, you were just being genuinely nice. They'll definitely tell you you're cool the next time you tell them you're glad you spoke to them. If you gauge it right, that is. Just make sure you mean it. It makes all the difference.

They look very slightly taken aback, but then Tank Girl picks up the ball and runs with it.

"You too," she replies "absolutely. You seem like a really cool guy. The only guys we've met here have been really sleazy or weird. You're just really cool. Isn't he cool?"

"Sure, he's great" says Pocahontas.

You can just say thanks to a compliment, or you can be cocky. But the best thing I've ever found is to really, genuinely take compliments to heart. It feels good, for one thing. It helps your self-esteem. It shows you're not invulnerable for another thing- it shows you're human without being a big pussy. It creates a real and powerful emotional connection with people. Finally, if someone senses that they've given a compliment and someone is really impressed with it, they usually elaborate on it. This is brilliant. The following I said in a level-headed, non-gushy but totally genuine way. Because it was genuine. I meant it all.

"That's really, really nice of you to say. Thanks. That means a lot to me. You have no idea."

"No, I mean it. You're fantastic," says Tank Girl. "You're funny, you're cool, you're great fun." She's beaming at me.

"Yeah, really" says Pocahontas. She smiles at me, and drops her eyelids ever so slightly.

"Shit girls, that's lovely. You're both so fucking sweet. I could eat you both up. Come here." We have a three way hug. I kiss them both on the cheeks.

Every now and then, Tank Girl has been dropping little clues about her being a lesbian. I don't rise to it. She mentions this girl she kissed, and I act like she's talking about the weather. Eventually she comes out with it - in fact, she comes out. We've been talking for about 3 hours now from the Blackadder approach. She apologises about not telling me earlier (?) but explains she didn't want to freak me out (?), offend my sense of morality (?) or scare me off (?) because she was enjoying my company and she wasn't sure how I'd react.

Just a word to the Yanks reading this. What the fuck? Are you mad? Why is this hot lesbian chick afraid to tell guys she likes pussy? Why does she think I'll get moralistic on her ass? Do you do that? What the fuck? Why does she think I'll get scared? Are you scared of hot lesbians? What the fuck? What are you saying to your hot lesbians? What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Shit, I just flamed 70% of ASF with my first post. Heh heh.

Anyway. I clearly don't give a fuck and I tell her as much. In fact, I tell her that I wouldn't know where to begin to give a fuck if you gave me a roadmap to give-a-fuck City Central and a really compelling reason to go. She then tells me that she has a girlfriend. I get the sense that this is bait, so I don't let my disappointment show in my face. What can I tell you - I want this chick. I love Tank Girl. Lori Petty is hot. But the bait is out, and I feel like a bug under a microscope - like I'm being subtly examined by both chicks for any sense of neediness. I show none. Poker-face-tastic. After a few minutes more of banter she lets slip that her girlfriend doesn't mind her playing with other people when she's on vacation as long as they tell each other. Once more my poker face comes into play, and I just about restrain myself from punching the air and doing an Irish jig. Pocahontas says that she's single, and she hasn't got laid in ages. Once more, I stop myself, and don't do a cartwheel.

"So, you're a lesbian, eh?" I ask. "How's that working out for you?" Love that question. It's from Tyler Durden in Fight Club.

"Love it." She replies.

"Have you ever been with a guy?"

"Yeah, but not since I came out. How about you?"

"I snogged my best friend once in a game of Truth or Dare," I answer truthfully.

"Did you like it?" She asked.

"No," I said. "No, it was fucking nasty." A shudder ran through my body at the memory. I'm shuddering as I type this. Ick.

"I bet you liked it a little," Tank Girl says.

"I really, really didn't. I think it's different for guys, and I don't think a lot of women get that, especially gay women. No offence, but it really is different."

"What do you mean?" Asks Tank Girl.

"Well shit. I was talking to a friend of mine, this girl called Susan - she was the one I was playing the same Truth or Dare game with, incidentally. She snogged her friend, this chick called Clare, and she said that for girls, even straight girls, it's not really a big deal. It's more like an extension of your friendship."

"Yeah, yeah I can see that." Pocahontas said.

"How about you," I asked Pocahontas, "have you ever kissed a girl?"

Stay frosty. Thread the needle.

"No, never."

"Wow." I said.

"Really?" Said Tank Girl.

"Well, shit," I say. "We're all on holiday. I'm sorry - 'vacation'. You two should kiss."

Tank Girl looks at Pocahontas like a wolf contemplating a newborn lamb.

"Sure, c'mere." She says, and a chick-on-chick tonguedown commences.

Nice.

So once they come up for air, Tank Girl leans back in her chair. She looks at me. I look at her.

"So how was she?" I ask Pocahontas.

"Good. Very good." Pocahontas replies.

"Hmm. If I were to kiss you," I say to Tank Girl, "How would I rate you on a 1-10 scale?" Thanks for that, Wayne. All I want for Christmas is you.

"You can kiss me if you want." Tank Girl says.

"Cool." I say. It is cool. We kiss. When we break away, I lean back in my chair. I look at Pocahontas. I raise my eyebrows. She nods, smiling. I lean over. I kiss Pocahontas. We come up for air.

"I've never had a three way kiss," says Pocahontas.

"Well come on then," I say.

We all share a three way tonguelashing. I love my life.

Just to clarify, this is me and two hot American chicks I've only just met. We're in broad daylight in the smoking area of a pub on Edinburgh's Royal Mile, one of the busiest streets in the city. It's very picturesque. Do check it out sometime. There's a castle and everything.

After some more playful banter, Tank Girl gets up to use the toilet, and I'm left there with Pocahontas. A quick word on being tactile with the ladies. There's no such things as good touching or bad touching in my eyes. All non-sleazy physical contact is good, as long as the woman accepts it. The way I like to break down the initial barriers with chicks physically is a little like the way you use italics in a sentence for emphasis. This is a bit random, but it's the cheapest, most inoffensive kinesthetic contact this side of a backrub. Use touch to emphasise your words, in exactly the same way that you use italics in a sentence. Hold the touch for the duration of the emphasis - the italics - then take your hand back. Hold their eyes the whole time.

To be honest, I don't even think about it now, it's just part of how I relate to people, and especially women. It makes them like you. It's weird. The thing is, though, it comes in completely under radar - women just think you're a touchy feely kind of guy, and that it's normal for you so to be. This is obviously cool. But their accepting your tactile nature as totally normal is a double edged sword. For many guys, getting touchy with a chick is a sign you're coming on to them, and so it acts like a statement of interest. I can get incredibly tactile with a woman, and she still won't really know if I like her sexually, which can be a bit of a fucker, especially if I assume I'm being so obvious it's silly, and she's still blissfully living in blonde-world.

This was exactly what happened here.

"You're very tactile" said Pocahontas.

"Really?" I ask, innocently.

"Yeah, it's fine, it's just that when a guy touches me as much as you do it usually means that they're hitting on me."

"Oh." I say. There is a pause. I try not to giggle.

"I..." She splutters "I mean... are you? Are you hitting on me?"

There are a number of different ways in which you can answer that question in a bad way, and there are a number of different ways you can answer it in a good way. Sure, you could go cocky, and turn it round on her. Sure, you could segue into a feelings/values/emotional connection spiel. Or if you were so wont, you could play hard to get.

Or you could swing for that pitch so hard you damn near smash the bat, and put that ball into fucking orbit. After a careful process of selection lasting all of no seconds, I decided to opt for the latter option.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask.

"Are you hitting on me?" She asks again. I look at her, incredulous.

"You're asking me if I think you're hot?" Little bit of a reframe. Hope you see why.

"Yes."

"Are you from Mars? Have I not made that sufficiently clear with the kissing? Ok - look. I'll answer your question. Yes, I think you're HOT. You're so hot, I could fry BACON on your ASS. I would do things to you that decorum prohibits their mention here. I'll HAMMER you into the MATTRESS until you don't know who you ARE. I'll pound you in ways God has yet to invent. I would love to do that. Hell yes. Hell. Yes. Oh, c'mere you little monkey." I kiss her again. Lots of tongues involved. "Does that answer your question?"

"Yeah." She's all hot and bothered. "So you'd take me home?"

"YES I would. Yes. Oh yes. Ah, you're so sweet. Look at you."

I don't close her. I could have taken her away right there, but no. She's locked in now, provided I don't do anything stupid. It's time to play in the high stakes round. A quick word about what I just did. If you get asked by a girl if you fancy her, or if you'd fuck her, or if you'd like to whatever, don't treat it like a weird test. Treat it like an open goal-mouth in the World Cup final. Hammer your shit home. Really go for it. Wax lyrical. Get visual. Hit that ball back fifty times as hard as you got it. It turns women on. A lot.

Tank Girl comes back from the bathroom.

"Hey baby." I say.

"Hiya." She smiles.

"We've got a confession." I say.

"Yeah?" Asks Tank Girl.

"Yeah, we kissed when you were gone. Sorry.". Tank Girl goes to say something like 'don't worry about it,' but I cut her off. "We don't want you to feel left out so we have to both kiss you." I lean forward and tongue her. I pull back. I'm sitting in between them. "Now you two kiss."

They lean together and have a passionate, full on snog. It's fucking sexy. I could smash bricks with the rock hard lump in my pants. I refrain from so doing. Then I get an idea. It's a good one.

As they're in the middle of the kiss, I say, quietly "This may be a little inappropriate, but..." Then I get Tank Girl's hand and place it on Pocahontas's boob. She starts feeling her up in an expert lesbian way. I place Pocahontas's hand on Tank Girl's boob. She starts feeling her up in a bi-curious experimental way. This is turning into a masterpiece. I feel like Da Vinci.

Ok - here's the thing. If you're trying to get something like this off the ground, you need to either be secure in yourself, or be really good at shutting the fuck up when you need to. Girls can sense if you are jealous. If I'd have interrupted that kiss, or tried to join in, I'd have ended up going home either alone or with just one of them. Probably with Pocahontas. You need to let them seduce each other, and the weird thing is that even though they were both girls, my jealousy alarms were blaring like crazy in my head. You could actually feel the sexual chemistry between these two chicks like a physical heat. It was kind of scary - for a second I thought they'd just fuck off and leave me there alone, but I held my nerve. I kept my cool through an enormous effort of will in the face of an incredibly intoxicating combination of jealousy and arousal. Eventually they broke the kiss. For a few seconds, no one spoke.

"That was hot." I said.

"Yeah." Said Tank Girl.

"Mmmmffnnm." Said Pocahontas.

Now, I'm sure that we represented a bit of a spectacle. As I mentioned, this is outside in a busy street. That said, no-one had given us any shit up until this point. All of a sudden, the nastiest, skankiest junkie-smackhead of a sleazy rotting-toothed tramp-in-his-best-suit starts trying to bust in on the conversation. Every time I speak he laughs loudly, just behind me in my ear, as if to get my attention. He sidles up behind Tank Girl. I shift slightly closer and put an arm around her shoulder.

This guy might as well have been sent from heaven. He was in such appalling physical shape that there was no way in a blue moon he could ever, even with a knife, represent a physical threat to me. He was obviously drunk, and probably junked up, and skanky as fuck, but he gave me the perfect opportunity to play Lancelot and demonstrate some fucking manliness.

He asked me for a lighter, and then tried to slur some crap at the girls. In all fairness he was trying to disarm the obstacle first, so we'll have to give him some credit for that. Nonetheless, I figured the direct approach would be best.

"Excuse me mate," I said, in a friendly tone with a hint of steel behind it, "I'm having a private chat with my friends. Do you mind?"

He muttered something incoherent and slunk away. The chicks glowed at me.

"Let's get out of here. There's a really nice pub not far from here called the Brass Monkey. It's got a Cinema and cushions and hopefully a lot less weirdos than here." I say. We get up and leave.

"I'm really cold." Pocahontas says. I put an arm around her shoulder as we walk toward the Brass Monkey. "Do you mind if I swing by our hostel and pick up a sweater?"

"No, that's fine," says Tank Girl with a nonchalant air that I took as a mark of a genuine player. I just shrugged. Nonchalance city.

I flag down a taxi, and we jump in. Tank Girl's in the middle. She's hot. I've got my hand on her leg. She doesn't move it.

We get out of the taxi, and split the fare. We're walking down to where their room is, and I'm experiencing this strange feeling of serenity, the kind of serenity I think you can only ever truly experience if you're a tightrope walker, or a bomb-disposal expert. The feeling that everything is fine, everything is going well, you're about to do something really awesome, but the slightest jar could fuck things up and cost you the use of your legs.

Stay frosty. Thread the needle.

As we enter the hostel, we bump into a group of about 15 people, all of these girl's friends from the hostel. I'm talking Spanish guys. Spanish guys are like Europe's most shameless and horny men, and they instantly burst into a babble of Hispanic questions, hooks and general shit to get the girls talking.

"You have to come out, we'll be at the Three Sisters later," says one random guy.

"Excellent," I reply, warmly but with that same hint of steel I'd noticed before with the tramp. "I know it. We'll see you there in a few minutes."

"Good, good. See you there, man."

"Cool." I say, and we walk inside.

We get into the lift. This whole journey had been a big state break, especially all the fucking foreigners outside. That little bubble of comfort we'd been in at the bar and in the taxi had evaporated, but there was still a palpable air of sexual tension. I'm not worried. The game's still afoot.

We get into Tank Girl's room. Pocahontas goes to hers to get her jumper. Tank Girl starts playing shit on her Ipod. I consider how to make a move, how to escalate. I have to lead this. These girls are going to let this all slide by if I don't act. A cheesy line won't do it. I need to get this chick thinking sexually and fast. She walks over to the sink in her room to put some product in her hair. I grab her, and push her up against the door. I kiss her hard. She loves it. She smiles.

"I'll get Pocahontas." I say.

"Cool." She replies. It is cool.

Rinse and repeat, motherfucker. I go to Pocahontas's room, and she gets a forced tonguedown as well. I put in some extra work on this one. She's the weakest link in the chain, and she needs to be tempered in the fire of my lust for this to work.

"Come on," I say, leading her by the hand, "let's go see Tank Girl."

"Uh-huh. Cool." She replies. It is cool.

They get in to the room. We're all together, and all alone. The girls start making small talk.

Then Tank Girl says...

"Did he kiss you too?"

Then Pocahontas says

"Yes, the dirty bastard."

Then I say

"Yeah, and I'm not sorry. Let's have another three way kiss."

Then I guide them together. Then Tank Girl kisses Pocahontas with a kind of masculine passion and intensity that I've never seen a woman display before. It's really intense. Pocahontas is pushed back with the force of it, and I catch her, kissing the side of her neck from behind. My hands wander all over her body, criss crossing with Tank Girl's.

Then I go to undo Pocahontas's bra, only to find it already undone.

Fair fucking play. Tank Girl's good.

I'm not one to kiss and tell, so I won't go too much into the specifics of what happened, except to say two things.

First off, the vibe of the threesome was in many ways like the vibe of the pickup. This was not me fucking two girls who wanted to be my sexual playthings. This was me and Tank Girl double teaming Pocahontas. I've never had a threesome with two guys - this is the only time I've done it with two girls (thus far), but the vibe was as if there was another man present. It was just that the other guy in the encounter looked exactly like Lori Petty from the film Tank Girl. This is important, perhaps the most important thing I learned from the whole encounter. If you've got two submissive girls and you want to fuck them both at once, their jealousy of each other is a minefield. If you're teaming up with a hot butch lesbian to pick up a chick, it's like a) you have a wing throughout the whole pickup, b) it's not all about you, and c) you get to see two girls naked at the same time. I winged Tank Girl, and she winged me. I wasn't possessive about her and Pocahontas, I let her have her fun. I made her feel hot. I laughed at her jokes. I engineered their first kiss. It wasn't easy though - at times, like when they touched each other's tits on the steps, and at other points a thousand times more X-rated, I had to fight down this instinctual feeling of jealousy that, mixed with arousal, threatened to paralyze me. It was like being a rabbit in headlights. It was really that intense.

So yeah, the first thing to say is this - help the dominant one pick up the submissive one and keep yourself in the loop, in control and leading the situation. Wing the dominant chick. She'll wing you.

And the second thing?

They could both deep throat.

Yeah you heard me, motherfucker. Both of them.

Heh heh heh.

Dual Induction Massage my hairy white ass.

Peace out.

(Credit - Ciaran (RSD Staff))

Suggested free e-books to read:

Dr Peter Davies - Low Self Esteem
Honore De Balzac - The Deserted Woman
Anthony Berger - How To Get Into Threesomes

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Book Review Why Mr Right Cant Find You

Why Mr. Right Can't Find You By J.M. Kearns

Although it has been labeled a "self-help" book, it's quite obvious from the first few pages that J.M. KEARNS'" Mr. Right Can't Find "is much more than that. And even though the title pretty much sums up what the book's focus is, I was surprised to discover that couples can also benefit from it.

Why? Well, because" Mr. Right Can't Find "tackles the topics that most couples forget about when they're in that honeymoon phase. By addressing these hard-hitting topics from the get-go, you can figure out if your relationship is going to make it into the long-term or if you should hit the skids and look elsewhere for love.

J.M. KEARNS also encourages women to be more proactive in their search for love. I can't tell you often my friends sit around waiting for the guy to come to them, as though it's written in the books that Mr. Right is going to be at the right place at the right time, will spot her from across the moon and she'll get that happy ending she thinks she so richly deserves.

No. J.M. KEARNS makes it clear that if you want Mr. Right, you're going to have to look for him. Don't be afraid to go out alone, he says, and don't be afraid of online dating sites, they can be one of your greatest allies.

All in all, I think J.M. KEARNS debunks the typical myths that most, if not all, women believe. So if you want to figure out where the best places to meet men are, the best way to show yourself off, and the best way to make your online dating profile shine, you need to read Why Mr. Right Can't Find You. It's an investment. It's an investment.

RATING: 3.5 OUT OF 5

Suggested free e-books to read:

Jeff Davidson - Alpha Books 10 Minute Guide To Managing Your Time
Clifford - Interview With Brian
Carlos Xuma - 28 Surefire Ways To Instant Dating Success Excerpt

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Online Love Tips For Beginners Looking For Love

There are many experts and online web portals available to provide best online love tips. However, only few provide you correct direction. In love, it is important to think from heart rather than mind. Hence, we have brought some important love tips for you.

MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP MORE INTERESTING - It has been seen that people start ignoring each other as the time passes. Hence, it is important to add some flavor and spice in dish of love every time you meet with your partner.

GIFTS - Either it is a new relationship or old one, it is important to share with gift each other. These gifts make two people closer as well as make your bonding stronger.

CARE - Forget about movies. In real world, you have to show your love and care to your partner. It is not possible for other person to recognize it automatically especially when you are not showing it. Whenever you get opportunity just show it.

EAT TOGETHER - It is must for both partners to eat food together most of the time. In case, you both are extremely busy then don't forget to have dinner or lunch together once in month.

Hope, these online love tips would help you a lot in real world.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Olga Lebekova - Top 5 Tips For Meeting Russian Women Online
Dylan Morgan - Hypnosis For Beginners
C Kellogg - Top Dating Tips For Weary Singles

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Dating Book Review How One Of You Can Bring The Two Of You

How One Of You Can Bring The Two of You Together By Susan Page

Relationships aren't easy and marriages are even harder, so if you find yourself in a situation where you feel like it's just about over, this book might possibly help you see things in a different light.

Too often, when relationships begin to break down, hostility escalates and then we start to search for things that the other person is doing wrong. But SUSAN PAGE believes that it is possible that the reader can become the better person in the relationship and that the positive energy will become contagious.

If you're unhappy with the current state of your relationship, trying some of the experiments listed in the book may prove just how easy it can be to get things started on the right note again.

If you don't want to lose the person you're with but feel like the two of you are drifting apart, then perhaps reading up on what you yourself can change will make all the difference.

In the book, SUSAN PAGE recommends that you overcome your resentment for your partner and stop blaming them when the sky is gray outside. Rather, she wants you to recapture the lost intimacy between the two of you and help you get back to the place that had you saying "I do" in the first place.

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

Suggested free e-books to read:

Allan Pease - Body Language How To Read Others Thoughts By Their Gestures
Steve Scott - More Than Friends How To Turn Your Female Friend Into Your Girlfriend
Chris - Dating Groundwork How To Have More Social Success

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Man Scams Online Daters On Matchcom

Man scams online dating out of $150k

SOLOMON NASSER was arraigned on Thursday January 28, 2010 on charges of larceny, fraud and tax crimes. Nasser went after professional and well-to-do women on the dating site Match.com and scammed them out of ore than $150,000 by the time he got caught.

Nasser lied about being wealthy and an important man in society and managed to convince the women to send him some cash because he claimed his cash was "frozen by court disputes" and was in a nasty custody battle with his ex wife.

One woman gave him nearly $115,000 in cash and credit card purchases, so she is, by far, the biggest sucker this side of lollipops.

The 57-year-old Nasser was sent to jail after his arraignment and parole has not been set.

I've said this before and I'll say it again - any time anyone online asks you for cash, alarm bells should sound and you should either report them or ignore them.

When someone claims to be rich and then asks you for cash, you should cut them off because it is always, ALWAYS, a scam.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Larry Mclauchlin - Advanced Language Patterns Mastery
Theron Dumont - The Art And Science Of Personal Magnetism
Steve Cowan - No Drama Online Dating

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My First Club Nite Ons

Here's a post from a while back of my first ONS.

Was still in the early stages and didn't know too much about inner game, the importance of qualifying, leading the interaction. Learnt a lot since, but have a long way to go. The game never ends.

Starting the afc way.. apologies for a long post..

Ive been out clubbing the past few months.. have gotten from

being unable to dance with a woman to getting pretty consistent day 2's and some F-closes..

Here's a LR of my first ONS..

Went out clubbing last weekend. Id done the usual ritual before leaving.. peackocking items, lil bottle of armani black code(women love it) in my back pocket, breath fresheners, lip balm, mints and fresh condoms.

I listened to a lil house to get me in the mood before i went out and drank a half bottle of wine for the lil happy buzz.

I used to go out smoking a spliff or two or drinking pint after pint of beer, but though that used to get me results.. nothing really like going in with just the slightest buzz.

Also I find that wine doesnt cloud your senses like most other alcohol does.

Went to an underground house place.. like house for the music.. tho i do prefer RnB places for pulling women.. RnB has this sensual music that makes it a lot easier to make out to. While i feel most women in clubs that play house go there just to dance.

I walked in.. the floor was kinda empty with just 7-8 girls on the floor. I went to the bar got myself a JD n coke, placed it on a table and walked up to one of the girls HB8 and started dancing with her. She asked me what my name was. I told her. In the background I was thinking jeez.. i shouldve met this girl later in the night.. this is too early on.. esp as the club closes at 0430. we danced for 2 songs and I got a little kino going. How do you all know each other? i pointed to her and her friends. She told me.

Thats one of the three sentences i always use on the dance floor..

You having a good night, I think youre cute and How do you all know each other. Id like to think it establishes a little false sense of familiarity and is a non aggressive, casual way of getting conversation started early on. She said she was going to the bar for a drink and asked me if i wanted one. guess I shouldve said yes and asked her to buy me one. But i didnt. She asked me to wait there, but when she didnt return 3-4 minutes later i started dancing with another two-set.

This seemed to be going pretty smoothly too.. when the HB8

returned and gave me eye contact. I didnt go dance with her or pawn the two set i had. Mistake. (My SP is that i cant run two-sets on the dance floor.. one, three and four sets are so much easier when it comes to isolating.

Maybe i should get a wing, but I have a wing who i used to think was good before, when i was just starting out a few months ago.. but now just spoils my sets whenever he enters them.. he does all the flash dance moves, doesnt maintain eye contact with the women, doesnt calibrate them, doesnt initiate kino, and mostly dances with me when we're in a two set.. he is brilliant at approaching sets and opening them however (which is good for me as I can game them).. but good at little else.. Ive told him about asf but he doesnt seem too intersted.. well his loss.. and mine too in a way.:-)

I was getting bored with the two set so I moved to a different set..

On the way there i danced with a set of guys who seemed to be having a good time. Thought Id recruit a wing on the dance floor which is what I often do. But i usually end up with guys who seem confident out of set but freeze when it comes to dancing with women.

I asked two guys to help me out and said lets dance with those three women there.. They smiled seemed enthusiastic and said lead the way.. When i did however, they just stood a few steps away and danced. I felt like a bit of an idiot trying to introduce these two guys, who were dancing 3-4 feet away facing us, who i didnt know from Adam to two women id met thirty seconds ago.

They smiled at them and continued dancing with me. Closing off their bodies to these two guys.

The attitude i try to portray when im on the dance floor is that Im a fun guy out to have a good time. I smile and laugh a lot, enjoy the music (no matter how bad i think it is) and dancing.

I make friends with the guys on the floor who look like theyre having a good time.

Often people come up to me and say 'Youre a player, man'. Music to my ears.. I say thank you and say 'lets dance with some women' but they often chicken out when it comes to dancing with the women. or even if they do they have poor BL, no kino, no eye contact, no smile etc etc..

Sometimes I go up to guys who seem to be doing well with the

women and tell them theyre players.. this seems to work wonders and they introduce me to new sets. Which i crash and burn with usually.. mmm, must think about why?

I approached another two set now.. and they ask me if I have

some pills.. I say no.. they say youre smiling and have a lot of energy.. we thought youd have some.. what about a spliff instead..

I truthfully tell them i dont have anything.. but if i find some, ill keep you in mind i say.. I have no intention of finding any.. im doing tonite drug free.. calibration is key.. they look at two afro carribean guys shaking booty and smile at each other.. i say you wanna dance with these two guys.. I dont wait for an answer and start dancing with the two afrocarib guys and introduce the two girls to them..

but these two guys dont handle it too well.. they didnt do too badly either.. i moved set again..

As i did another dance floor recon.. I stopped myself..

I find myself getting sucked up into the power of being able to dance with all the hottest women in the club.. and instead of doing what im out there for i.e. gaming women.. i shift from set to set.. sometimes it works well for me.. as i can often get back to sets ive danced with before when other sets dont go too smoothly.. also sets up social proof.. but it doesnt really help me gamewise.. because you cant get anywhere with a woman if you dont spend time with her in the first place.. at least 15 minutes usually..

I found that now i started getting anxious and losing state.. id approached a few sets and hadnt gotten anywhere really.. But i notice it.. wouldnt have if I had drunk a bit more or smoked a spliff..

chill out i reassured myself. STICK IN SET i tell myself.

Most important lesson ive learnt while clubbing.. apart from

escalating and advancing kino and look like youre having a good time.. is to STICK IN SET, something like Gunwitch's golden golden golden Persistence to Isolation rule.

I went back to the hb8 I saw initially, but she had seen me dance with other women.. and she moved away immediately..

I didnt let it bother me.. Ive had this happen so many times.. and will happen many more times.. I tell myself i shouldve pawned the two set i was dancing with before when she gave me eye contact..

I walk up to a chill looking guy who's dancing on his own and ask him to stay on adjacent sides of an imaginary rectangle/square as we dance L-formation.. I tell him 'watch the women come to us'.. (haha.. i know what some of you are thinking.. but dancing in a L-shape with a bit of space in front of you on a crowded dance floor usually has women come to dance.. or even if I dance with a lil 4x2ft space in front of me on floor the women come n dance in that space... and i approach them asap..

I usually approach women within a second or two of eye contact on the floor.. any longer and its crash n burn time..)

We're dancing L-formation, but this time the women dont come

to us.. well, didnt say it always worked, did I?

I look across however and make eye contact with a HB8, she's dancing with another guy.. but she keeps looking at me dancing.. I dont like approaching sets where a guy is already dancing with a girl.. theres more than enough sets on the floor for everybody (who knows how to make use of them, that is)..

I move to her and start dancing with her.. I dance for a minute.. I really like the way she dances.. she has a nice energy to her.. But im feeling like im intruding on them.. she continues to maintain eye contact with me though.. another guy comes and dances.. it looks like he knows the other guy.. and now its three of us dancing with one girl.. I get ready to shift set.. but i remember the talk i gave myself a few seconds earlier.. STICK IN SET.. so I decide to.. i smile at the guys and tap them on the shoulder.. and

shake their hands.. HB8 in the meantime continues to make eye contact with me.. the two guys move away.. I move in..

I smile and we dance together.. I start kinoing her..

simple touched on shoulder, hand.. then i slide my hands down her arms.. i keep eye contact and smile at her.. i start pacing my dancing to hers.. I ask her her name.. what she does.. fluff talk as i get my kino going..(yeah i know.. dont ask her her name.. if she asks you yours.. then thats an IOI.. but usually if i get kino going.. i just assume IOI's are happening.. or rather i assume IOI's as soon as they smile)..

I continue kino.. i run my hands down her arm and grab her

hands and squeeze.. she squeezes back..

Im In..

I move closer.. and run my hands down her back..

Whenever i start kinoing a woman on the dance floor, I act like im her boyfriend and do whatever he wouldve done.. women usually associate good feelings with comfortable sensual kino and when theyve been with their boyfriends on the floor.

She says she's off to get a drink and says she'll be back.. I wait for around 3-4 minutes.. then I think if I wait any longer Ill lose value.. so I re-approach a two set i had approached earlier..

L-formation guy is next to them.. I introduce him as my friend to them.. and continue dancing with them.. I find that HB8 has come to this part of the floor.. i see her, smile and pawn the two set and start dancing with her again..

I move in close and dance with her.. kinoing her back.. I touch foreheads, nose together.. and hey... Im not supposed to be doing this this early..

thats my kiss close technique.. never failed.. touch foreheads together, noses together, and them lips.. kiss close.. easy as that..

so i get my mind giving me second thoughts.. as i move in for the kiss..

thats because another promise ive made to myself is not to kiss women until after dancing with them for at least 15-20 minutes so I dont activate slut-defense.

So as im doing the forehead, nose.. I get my mind telling me This is too early on.. Ive mistakenly stumbled on my kiss close tech while im caught up escalating kino.. so as i touch foreheads, and nose i move away to her cheek.. and kiss her cheek.. then i get another thought that says.. Ill look like a dick if i kiss a woman on the cheek.. so now i find myself transitioning to her lips and kiss her (sounds pretty funny as i read it now).. she returns the

kiss..

we continue dancing.. I continue kino..

im describing the kino as I go along, since its a FR.. and maybe some of you guys can give me more kino steps/tips..

I sniff her shoulders and neck.. kino her shoulders for a bit.. turn her around and slide my hands down her thighs and push my crotch against her butt.. and grind.. i turn her around again.. and we kiss again.. she seems to be initiating all the kisses.. i dont have a problem with that.. push-pull.. cat string.. im the prize.. you know the drill.. ;-)

I tell her Im sorry, but I have this thing about hugging.. and I hug her..

I learnt the hug after having had some xtc a while ago.. if theres one drug id recommend people try at least once its xtc.. more often than a month or two months tho' i seriously believe it fucks with you serotonin or happy receptors..

anyways.. heres the perfect hug IMHO.. from the xtc days..

Hug tightly for at least 4-5 seconds.. maintain a constant pressure..

hold your breath.. and break away suddenly.. feel the energy in the hug while youre doing it.. and as you break away.. eye contact and smile as you break away..

eye contact and appreciative positive reinforcement kino and a smile after a kiss is also ahem, mandatory..

I kiss her on her nose.. she has a really cute nose.. she says its a huge nose.. i dont agree.. she pulls away when i try to kiss it again..

all through the night i sneak kisses on her nose and smile.. i do this whole play acting thing of trying to kiss her nose as she pulls away.. holding her head as i kiss her nose.. sometimes jumping towards her and surprising her by kissing it.. works like a neg... and has an endearing feel to it too..

she introduces me to two girlfriends.. i smile at them.. theyre dancing with each other.. I ask her how they know each other..

I tell her my third standard club line.. I think youre cute.. I find that thats a neutral compliment.. its an IOI and you can use it on the drop dead gorgeous ones..( who'd probably construe it as a neg..) and the not so attractive one's either.. it an IOI.. establishes frame.. cute means lil girl cute and im the man..

i continue the kino.. a few more hugs.. she really likes them.. few more kisses.. i do the pull hair back firmly.. evolutionary position of surrender and softly bite her on the shoulders..

After a while she tells me her friends have left.. I offer to drop her off.. Persistence to Isolation.. I tell myself..

The club begins to close and we make our way out.. we're holding hands, hugging, laughing.. as I begin to walk her out..

she stays nearby, she tells me.. so we begin to walk.. I start talk-gaming her..

I do the cube, tell her im a mind reader and do my mind reader routine (see TnT post).. she laughs.. i maintain the C&F frame.. continue to neg her about her nose.. when she tries to neg back I spank her playfully.. i ask her what her place is like, fluff talk about interior decor so i can tell her she must show me sometime..

I dont tell her that tho'.. i.e. you must show me sometime.. i leave that for when i get her number and call her..

we reach her place.. we stand outside.. its time for me to ask for her number.. but Persistence to Isolation sticks in my head..

I ask her the five magic words to get me inside her place.. 'May I use the bathroom'.. she says ok.. c'mon in.. the place is a mess though..

I enter.. its spotlessly clean.. i dont enter the bathroom.. I start kissing her, smelling her skin, smiling, tell her she's cute.. I fumble with her bra strap.. she tries to help me out.. i say.. no.. and me try again.. no luck until she does it herself.. we're both laughing through all this.. I take her pants off.. i read somewhere that if a woman takes her pants off she feels like a slut, while if you take her pants off she feels desirable.. we're soon naked and making out.. we've moved from her setee to her bedroom.. it was really cold in the living room.. cant wait for summer..

No LMR whatsoever.. i use push-pull, cat string.. tease her.. and we fade to black...

Got her number and called her yesterday.. C&F again.. ended the call while it was on a high note..we're meeting again tonite..

Im still learning.. feedback is valuable and appreciated..

(Credit: Moi)

Suggested free e-books to read:

Anonymous - My Secret Life Volumes I To Iii
Tyler Durden - On 7 Steps For Club Seduction

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