| Pick-up Library

Songs About Not Being Over Him

Whether you got dumped, dumped him, or just longed for him from afar, sometimes getting over a man is just near impossible. And for those days when you don't feel like fighting the feeling, here are 7 songs about not being over him.

Turn it up and listen good.

SONGS ABOUT NOT BEING OVER YOUR EX #1

T-SHIRT

SHONTELLE

Shontelle is a relatively new singer on the scene, but that doesn't mean she is immune to heartbreak. Although "T-shirt" is upbeat and will get your toes tapping, at the end of the day, it's about a girl who has been dumped and would rather stay home and wear her ex-boyfriend's t-shirt than go out with her friends and dance the night away.

BEST LYRIC: I'm a step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something Hanes, in bed I lay with nothing but your T-shirt on.

SONGS ABOUT NOT BEING OVER YOUR EX #2

WALK AWAY

PAULA DEANDA

PAULA DEANDA is young, yes, but this song definitely belongs on this list because she thinks about her ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend and wonders if they do all the same things that they used to do together.

Isn't that always the case? No matter who dumps who, at some point we all sit back and wonder what they're doing with their new girlfriend and think about how good we were together at times.

Then we remember why we broke up. There are usually myriad reasons.

BEST LYRIC: I can't explain this feeling, I think about it everyday, And even though we've moved on, It gets so hard to walk away

SONGS ABOUT NOT BEING OVER YOUR EX #3

CANT LET GO

MARIAH CAREY

An oldie but goodie, "Can't Let Go" is one of MARIAH CAREY's best and most gut-wrenching songs. From the moment the song begins up until the last lyric, it's obvious that even the best of us sometimes feel the worst pain after a breakup.

And when you're the dumpee, it makes it that much harder to let go of the man you thought you were going to spend your life with.

And then watching him do all the things with her that he used to do with you only adds salt to the wound. Never easy.

BEST LYRIC: Do you even realize the sorrow I have inside, Everyday of my life? Do you know the way it feels, When all you have just dies? I try and try to deny that I need you, But still you remain on my mind

SONGS ABOUT NOT BEING OVER YOUR EX #4

I LOVE YOU

MARY J BLIGE

In her heyday, MARY J. BLIGE put together some songs about heartbreak and heartache (remember "I'm Going Down"?), but none come close to the agony felt in "I Love You".

The song is about a break up that results from the boyfriend not being able or willing to change his ways, and although she still loves him and always will, she knows that it's time to move on, whether she remains alone or with someone else.

Either way, she won't stop loving him.

BEST LYRIC: When I found out that you were leaving me, I couldn't sleep thinking about, All the things that we've been through

Suggested free e-books to read:

David Deangelo - On Being A Man Seminar Slides
Wayne Perkins - How To Hypnotize Your Lover

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Being A Leader By Sinn

IF I COULD TEACH SOMEONE JUST ONE SKILL TO GET BETTER WITH WOMEN AND SOCIAL SKILLS IN GENERAL, IT WOULD BE LEARNING TO LEAD. IN ANY SOCIAL INTERACTION YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHERE YOU WANT TO GO AND HOW YOU ARE GOING TO GET THERE.

You must lead the initial interaction with a new women both physically and verbally. This starts from the first eye contact and approach through handling logistics and dealing with LMR. You always have to lead.

Before you can even lead the interaction with an individual women, you are going to have to lead the group's attention for long enough to start a private conversation with the women you are interested in. In order to do this we want to demonstrate THE CHARACTERISTICS OF SOCIAL LEADERSHIP.

1. True leaders demonstrate through both behavior and stories that you inspire loyalty from people. It is very important to convey that when you need others help,they help. No questions asked.

2. The ability to instantly gain people's respect. It is vitally important that the group is at least ok with you being there. The more attention(Respect) you give the obstacles, the more likely they will be to let you stick around generally uninterrupted.

3. The next characteristic is confidence. This mostly comes from believing in what you are doing. When you make a decision, suggest a move, make a joke or even touch a woman, you must look like you think it's going to work. I do this by acting like it's weird when the girls don't like me. You have to put full faith into everything you do. The more you believe what you are doing is going to work even when it isn't, the better you will convey confidence. Confidence is simply a belief in yourself and ability to accomplish anything.

4. A leader has an outcome in mind. He knows what he wants out of the interaction and takes steps towards them. You don't want to be attached to the outcome but you need to have a plan for who you are interested in getting to know better, where you are going to move her to have a private conversation away from her friends, what you are going to suggest going on a date to do at a later time, and how to get her back to your place if the opportunity presents itself. This can also be called handling logistics.

5. The ability to lead physically. You have to take the initiative in establishing a physical relationship. This means you need to touch her early and often. You also should get comfortable leading women around to different parts of the bar or club. You need to be unafraid to try to make a bigger move later on. Learn to look at touching like bringing up a map in a video game. You are learning where you are at the time.

6. The last characteristic of leadership is being unreactive to negative social feedback. The only reason people react to things is because they think that they somehow help themselves gain something they want or they want to avoid something unpleasant happening.

Imagine a 6 year old girl telling you to leave her alone. You probably wouldn't have a huge emotional reaction. However if the most beautiful women you ever saw told you to leave her alone, you'd be devastated because of the perceived loss her negative social behavior made you feel. True leaders believe in themselves enough that they don't feel the need to acknowledge anything that doesn't help them.

Which brings us to the number one rule of pick up which is to ignore anything that doesn't help you. This works on the theory of magnification. Meaning that while having a great comeback when a woman tests you makes you look smart simply ignoring it and changing the subject demonstrates the confidence and dominance of a true leader.

There you guys have my characteristics for leading in social situations.

Till next week,

Sinn

Suggested free e-books to read:

Elizabeth Leary - 10 Min Guide To Leadership
Michael Hall - Getting The Edge In Business

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loki

Online Dating For Single Men

No matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and eager for your company...whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want. If you have found yourself suddenly “on-the-market” again after a relationship has dissolved or are just too busy with your work to spend a lot of time looking for a lady to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you.

The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started. The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs. There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs. I don’t recommend the free sites. The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied and the investment is small. A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date.

The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a recent but flattering picture of yourself. Now you are all set. Start contacting ladies whose profiles sound interesting to you and answer any lady who contacts you...and do so promptly...not, however, on holidays or weekends. You don’t want to appear that desperate. Don’t give up after a month and think you will never find the right lady for you. New people join online dating services daily and at least half of them are ladies many, of whom, will want to meet you.

Chatrooms are a great place to meet potential friends, and perhaps a potential partner. What's nice about chatroom dating is you don't have to dress up and pass visual inspection to go there and enjoy some great conversations. The anonymity of a chatroom means that if you mess up or don't want to continue to get to know the other people/person, you can just leave the chatroom. If you don't want to be known by who you were then you can simply change your nickname. This is not a license to be obnoxious, but it does give you plenty of room to practice making friends with strangers. Here are some tips to help you out when using chatrooms.

STAY SAFE
Don't reveal private information

Be careful about the information you give in casual conversation. Don't give any hint of your work place, your home town or other personal info that can be linked to where you come from. It is vital that you use common sense when using a chatroom. If someone spent two weeks in a chatroom and wrote down everything you said, how easy would it be for them to identify you? Be careful never to reveal too many details about yourself.

Protect your identity
If you want total control of the information that is revealed to the world through chatrooms, don't use your personal or your work-related email. You should sign up for an email account specifically to use for chatting online like Yahoo, Gmail, or Hotmail. If the chatroom you like to use has a profile link, be sure to keep the information you provide generic, like just your age and gender.

Listen to your head
Use your common sense and judgment. If someone sounds creepy or a bit dodgey, there's a good chance they are. If someone's flirting is getting a bit out of hand for your liking, then speak up or change your email address and nickname.

Suggested ebooks:

Joseph Matthews - Meeting Dating And Seducing Women
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets

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Dating Tips Importance Of First Date

You can forget everything in life but it is almost impossible to forget first date. Few wise decisions can make it a life time experience and some bad decision can ruin your life. There are few tips which you can follow on first date to make it nice:

- Always behave properly and look fashionable with decent clothes. Don't wear clothes like super models.

- Look good and carry positive attitude, try to create good atmosphere for you and your partner

- It is important to feel comfortable and create comfort for your partner

- Don't share your past experience with your first date.

- Always try to know each other nicely by questioning like favourite colour, sports, food, clothes, movie, actor, actress etc.

- It is advisable to choose a nice location for first date, a nice restaurant or coffee shop can be a best choice.

- Don't run too fast and never ask for address or anything else.

- Telephone or mobile number can be a best way to contact.

- Never forget to give a decent gift to girl at the end of the day, it will leave a nice impression on her about your personality.

Suggested free e-books to read:

C Kellogg - Top Dating Tips For Weary Singles
Angelica Jackson - Flirting Tips For The 21st Century
Dating Insider - Getting The First Date

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Addressing Womens Emotional Needs

I've found that for a lot of people (including me), at times their PU game is tight. But their relationship management skills suck bigtime. This article by Frank B Kermit (from the montreal lair) helps address womens emotional needs and makes hooking relationships that much easier.

Frank has several books on lulu.com and the one where he speaks about addressing womens emotional needs (there are 10 of them) 'Everything out of her mouth is a test' is the pick of the bunch. An excellent matrix-aware treatise on relationship management.

Other matrix aware books on relationship management would be (in no particular order):

Franco's excellent ebook on Seduction for Husbands and Players

David Deida's Way of the Superior Man

Mark Cunningham's Building a Better Girlfriend (bit hypnotic and sneaky for my tastes, but seems to be pretty solid)

So enough babble - here's the good stuff

How and Why Women Test Men and About What...

Here it is: My Frank B Kermit Philosophy on Men, Women and Relationships and the definition of a test.

A TEST: is when a woman says or does something, specifically to evoke a reaction out of a man, whether verbal or action based. It is a SUB-CONSCIOUS mechanism that a woman uses to find out about what kind of man she is dealing with. It is the predictor and basis for all sexual attraction and love she will have for a man. Every test is designed to make her feel special (your lover) when a man passes it, or makes her feel un-special (thus turns her into your mother) if you fail it.

At least, that is how I see it.

During the process of my development, I went searching for one or two unifying themes to apply as a rule when I attempted to analyze relationships between men and women.

I came up with the following:

The Frank B Kermit theory:

1-Everything out of her mouth is a test (even when it is not, treat it as so anyways)

2-A woman can only fit into 1 OF 2 roles in any mans life. Mother or Lover.

3-She constantly tests you to see what role she should follow

4-Within each test is an emotional need being communicated

5-If you address the emotional need, you pass the test, she feels attracted to you, she gets to be your lover and you have sex

6-If you do not address the emotional need, you fail the test, she loses attraction to you, she is forced to assume the role of your mother and you do not get sex

and the final part to this:

7-A women always tests because her instinct to mother is stronger than her instincts for sex

I have identified 10 emotional-need categories, but for the purposes of this book, I will only list the category names here, and not a lengthy description of each.

The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman

1-The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation

2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie

3-Cater to the little girl in her. Know the difference when to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a hug. Sometimes she just needs to be reassured like a little kid

4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the mans fault

5-She fears abandonment. This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. This covers her emotional need to feel secure.

6-Trust. The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a womans reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her. If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you.

7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel safe.

8-Women need to know you can handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wonton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to explore her sexuality and let it be free with you as a Natural Woman

9-Prove that you have high quality sperm by showing other girls want to have sex (procreate) with you, and/or you are a good catch and he kids with you will also be a good catch enough to also attract a mate.

10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. She knows every homosexual male friend she has that is not out of the closet yet. Could you be one too?

Regardless of what she tests you with, if you can spot one of these ten emotional needs in-between her words and you address that need by your communication and actions, you will pass the test, and she will by default feel attraction for you, and desire to be your lover.

I think what happens in most relationships is that a man attracts a woman as his lover, and over time, she becomes more like his mother to him, thus sacrificing her attraction to him. In my unscientific-based opinion, that is when the relationship starts to die.

That is my theory anyways. So far, it has worked for me

(Credit - Frank B Kermit at FrankTalks.com )

Get his book on relationship management \'Everything Out of Her Mouth is a TEST: A Man\'s Guide to Satisfying the Emotional Needs of Women\'

Suggested free e-books to read:

Ross Quigley - Beautiful Women Prefer Nerds
David Deangelo - On Being A Man Seminar Slides
Carlos Xuma - Dating Questions And Answers

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loki

Book Review A Little Bit Married

Have you ever moved in with someone and done everything that married couples do, except that you never actually went the route of actually getting married? Well, that's the gist of what" Little Bit "is all about.

HANNAH SELIGSON finally puts a name to what many have been doing of late; moving in together, smelling each other's crap, getting way too comfortable, but never actually having taken the plunge.

HANNAH SELIGSON gives you (namely women) the necessary tools to figure out if this man you're "practically" married to actually has any plans that involve diamonds and a walk down the aisle.

Because most long-term relationships tend to slide into this comfort zone without the actual implications of marriage, many wonder if the person they're waiting around for actually has any plan of taking that last and incredibly important step.

HANNAH SELIGSON gets readers to take a good, hard look at the tough questions and conclude whether or not this is the real deal or just a long-term comfort for the other person. She asks:

* What are the signs that this person is ready for a long-term deal?
* How do the two of you make decisions regarding big ticket items like careers, living arrangements and religion?
* How long should you stay in a relationship like this before it's time to get married or move on?

So if you are currently in such a bind, perhaps it's time to enlist the help of HANNAH SELIGSON.

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

By Hannah Seligson

Suggested free e-books to read:

Brad P - Club Game And Social Circle Visual Aid
Thundercat - Mystery Interview The Fifth Archetype
Adam Gilad - Interview With Kelly Morrisey

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loki

5 Good Things About My Worst Date Ever

I’ve never been a big dater; I’ve had boyfriends (and two girlfriends), but most of them I met through friends or at parties, and our romantic relationships grew out of being friends first. Actual first dates, complete with jittery nerves, fashion angst and awkward conversation aren’t my forte. The whole trying-to-get-to-know-someone-in-an-hour thing makes nervous, and seems way too much like a job interview that something conducive to finding someone I could fall in love with. But since I’m 34, single and looking to be in a relationship, I figured I should finally give online dating a try, so I signed up for OkCupid and HowAboutWe.

The results have been mixed, but I want to share five things I learned about a Very Bad Date that might help you in the dating jungle. I had proposed the date – a free comedy show at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn – on HowAboutWe. The premise of the site is that you either respond to cool-sounding dates, or propose your own. This was a show I’d been wanting to check out for over a year, so I figured I’d rather do so with company. It took us about a month before we were both free. I knew very little about the guy, but was excited about the prospect of meeting someone new.

Well, my expectations were on the high side – the very high side, as it turns out – but I’m still glad I went on the date. Here are five reasons why:

1. Getting Dressed Up is Fun No Matter What

That day, I put on a flower-pattern Yumi Kim dress, got a manicure and pedicure and – something that’s a challenge for me – managed to fit all my stuff into my shiny new red purse, so as to make a good impression, rather than lugging my usual three to four giant bags. My date didn’t say a word about what I was wearing; now, he doesn’t have to, and maybe he wasn’t impressed, but a small compliment goes a long way. But wearing the outfit and matching bag, taking the time to make sure I looked my best, made me feel good even if he didn’t appreciate it.

2. I Realized I Have Good Social Skills

I’d arrived uncharacteristically on time, and proceeded to look around and order a seltzer, then get a table. He came in about five minutes later, which was fine … until he told me he’d seen me come in. What? That struck me as creepy; he’d known I was in there and deliberately waited five minutes before joining me. I’m often late, but I would never do that to someone.

He’d recently been on a trip abroad, so I tried to draw him out about the trip, with little luck; for the most part, I got one-word answers. I was frantically trying to come up with things to talk about, but instead got really odd answers (such as “I live in the Bronx and Brooklyn”) that I couldn’t figure out how to follow up on. I was starting to feel a little crazy, until I realized that I’d tried my best, and that sometimes it’s better to just be silent and wait it out. I may not be the perfect conversation partner, and sometimes ask too intense questions on a first date, but at least I didn’t revert into silent mode.

I’d finished my seltzer and was sucking on the ice, a clear sign that it was time for him to at least offer to get me a drink. I’m not a dinner whore by any means but that would’ve been the polite thing to do. Instead, I got up to get my own drink, and offered to get him one. He declined, but when I returned and said the bartender had comped my seltzer, he replied (perhaps his most egregious dating faux pas), “If I’d known it was free, I’d have asked you to get me one.”

The situation was so ridiculous I couldn’t help but be amused and again, give myself a pat on the back for having the graciousness to offer him a drink.

3. I Got to See a Fun Comedy Show

The comedy show wasn’t the best I’d ever seen (one guy talked about how he fantasized about chopping his exes’ heads off and making a mobile over his head!) but there were enough funny moments, including a guest appearance by 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander, that I laughed more than a few times. I was very glad we were not on a dinner date where the lack of chemistry would’ve seemed interminable.

4. I Flirted With A Cute Guy (Not My Date)

Now, this may be a cardinal sin of dating – thou shall not flirt with other people while on a date. But first let me say that I didn’t start it. When I finally broke the deafening silence at my table to get myself another seltzer, I ran into a guy I’d had a few dates with last year. He complimented me on my outfit, which made me smile, and sort of made up for my date not doing so. I was tempted to simply ditch my date and hang out with him, but I didn’t, though I did drop him a line when I got home, sharing the highlights of my date, and we’ve been emailing ever since.

5. Instead of Feeling Sorry for Myself, I Got “Out There”

I think I had this fantasy that the minute I conceded to the world of online dating, the perfect person would be waiting at the click of a button. Clearly, not so much. Still, if I hadn’t met him in person, I’d never have know that, and just by being out, rather than slumped in front of my TV or laptop, I felt more confident. And I might’ve even parlayed it into a date – with someone who’ll actually talk to me.

Tell us: Would you rather go on a bad date than not date at all? Share your Good Bad Date stories!

Suggested free e-books to read:

Helen Ferry - Get The Facts About Condoms
David Deangelo - Double Your Dating Sex Secrets
Joseph Matthews - The Boyfriend Is Not An Obstacle

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loki

Online Dating Safety For Women

Online dating can be a fun and certainly a rewarding experience for women of all ages. Maintaining your safety while doing it is simply a combination of using common sense and exercising good judgment. Online safety rules are the same as real world safety rules.

You wouldn’t give your name, address and phone number to a strange man that you met in a bar or on the street so you should never do that online either. Play it safe. Get to know this man who could turn out to be Prince Charming before you give out any information that could make it possible for him or others to trace you. Don’t tell a stranger exactly where you work. Say that you are a legal secretary (if that’s what you are) for a mid-sized law firm….not that you work for Brown, Smith and Jones Attorneys-at-law. It is safe to tell him what city you live in but you should wait to be any more specific than that until you have been chatting and exchanging emails for awhile.

Use only the tools provided by the dating service you belong to. Most offer chat and private email on their site. Do not give out your isp email address. If you must give out an email address make it a free one such as Hotmail or Yahoo. Your isp address is traceable for anyone who wants to go to the trouble.

When the time comes for you to have your first face-to-face, make that first meeting in a public place and during day light hours. Take a friend with you or arrange for one to call you on your cell soon after the arranged meeting.

Remember...you ARE in control so do not let anyone pressure you into revealing more personal information than you are comfortable with revealing.

Suggested ebooks:

Ken Lingu - Erotic Massage For Women
Louise Andree Saulnier - The Yoni Massage For Women
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets

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loki

Songs About Not Being Over Him

T-SHIRT

SHONTELLE

WALK AWAY

PAULA DEANDA

CANT LET GO

MARIAH CAREY

I LOVE YOU

MARY J BLIGE

Being A Leader By Sinn

Till next week,

Sinn

Online Dating For Single Men

STAY SAFE

Protect your identity

Listen to your head

Dating Tips Importance Of First Date

Addressing Womens Emotional Needs

David Deida's Way of the Superior Man

So enough babble - here's the good stuff

I came up with the following:

The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman

Book Review A Little Bit Married

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

By Hannah Seligson

By Hannah Seligson

5 Good Things About My Worst Date Ever

Online Dating Safety For Women

Follow Me

Popular Posts

Archives

T-SHIRT

SHONTELLE

WALK AWAY

PAULA DEANDA

CANT LET GO

MARIAH CAREY

I LOVE YOU

MARY J BLIGE

Till next week, Sinn

STAY SAFE

Protect your identity

Listen to your head

David Deida's Way of the Superior Man

So enough babble - here's the good stuff

I came up with the following:

The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5 By Hannah Seligson

By Hannah Seligson

Follow Me

Popular Posts

Archives

Till next week,

Sinn

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

By Hannah Seligson