You must lead the initial interaction with a new women both physically and verbally. This starts from the first eye contact and approach through handling logistics and dealing with LMR. You always have to lead.
Before you can even lead the interaction with an individual women, you are going to have to lead the group's attention for long enough to start a private conversation with the women you are interested in. In order to do this we want to demonstrate THE CHARACTERISTICS OF SOCIAL LEADERSHIP.
1. True leaders demonstrate through both behavior and stories that you inspire loyalty from people. It is very important to convey that when you need others help,they help. No questions asked.
2. The ability to instantly gain people's respect. It is vitally important that the group is at least ok with you being there. The more attention(Respect) you give the obstacles, the more likely they will be to let you stick around generally uninterrupted.
3. The next characteristic is confidence. This mostly comes from believing in what you are doing. When you make a decision, suggest a move, make a joke or even touch a woman, you must look like you think it's going to work. I do this by acting like it's weird when the girls don't like me. You have to put full faith into everything you do. The more you believe what you are doing is going to work even when it isn't, the better you will convey confidence. Confidence is simply a belief in yourself and ability to accomplish anything.
4. A leader has an outcome in mind. He knows what he wants out of the interaction and takes steps towards them. You don't want to be attached to the outcome but you need to have a plan for who you are interested in getting to know better, where you are going to move her to have a private conversation away from her friends, what you are going to suggest going on a date to do at a later time, and how to get her back to your place if the opportunity presents itself. This can also be called handling logistics.
5. The ability to lead physically. You have to take the initiative in establishing a physical relationship. This means you need to touch her early and often. You also should get comfortable leading women around to different parts of the bar or club. You need to be unafraid to try to make a bigger move later on. Learn to look at touching like bringing up a map in a video game. You are learning where you are at the time.
6. The last characteristic of leadership is being unreactive to negative social feedback. The only reason people react to things is because they think that they somehow help themselves gain something they want or they want to avoid something unpleasant happening.
Imagine a 6 year old girl telling you to leave her alone. You probably wouldn't have a huge emotional reaction. However if the most beautiful women you ever saw told you to leave her alone, you'd be devastated because of the perceived loss her negative social behavior made you feel. True leaders believe in themselves enough that they don't feel the need to acknowledge anything that doesn't help them.
Which brings us to the number one rule of pick up which is to ignore anything that doesn't help you. This works on the theory of magnification. Meaning that while having a great comeback when a woman tests you makes you look smart simply ignoring it and changing the subject demonstrates the confidence and dominance of a true leader.
There you guys have my characteristics for leading in social situations.
Till next week,
Suggested free e-books to read:Elizabeth Leary - 10 Min Guide To Leadership
Michael Hall - Getting The Edge In Business
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