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Social Psychology Stop Shyness Now With These Simple Tips

Shyness is such a debilitating condition that can affect a person's every day existence. It can adversely affect a sufferer socially, at work, romantically, and in any situation dealing with people. For anyone that has had to deal with this condition, to be able to STOP SHYNESS for good is their top priority.

But programming and conditioning of a person's emotional state, often from a very young age, runs very deep in one's subconscious so it can be very hard to "stop shyness" without a lot of effort. Self esteem is generally very low for someone that suffers from shyness.

I am an introvert by nature, even to this day, but I was very, very shy as a child. I can't blame my parents, but I grew up believing that kids are there to be seen and not heard, and that it's bad to show off and have fun. Luckily, through personal development and working on myself, I am a lot more confident and at ease around people in social situations. I'm still not really outgoing (especially around strangers) but I do FEEL much more comfortable than I used to be.

I'm pretty sure that this is the same for most shy people, but what caused me to be "stuck" in shyness for so long, was being so self-conscious and afraid of making mistakes and looking foolish in front of other people. It was only when I started to "notice" other people had faults, and would often make a fool of themselves, and yet people around them didn't seem to care. I think the key was, that these people had confidence in themselves no matter what, and they believed in themselves... and they didn't care what other people thought of them.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

That is the next point that I want to make... don't care so much what other people think about you. Live your life to the fullest, and have confidence in yourself. Believe in yourself and other people will respect you for it. With that respect, your improving self confidence will grow even more, and your self esteem will sky-rocket.

START OFF SMALL

Accept the fact that you will not change overnight and suddenly be an extremely outgoing person. This process will take time, so start small initially by socializing in small groups of just 2 or 3. You will find that you are far more comfortable with only a couple of people and you can open up a lot more than you could in a large group setting.

WORK ON THE WAY YOU LOOK

If you are going out in a social setting, make sure that you work on your look beforehand. If you can feel comfortable in the way you look, it only stands to reason that you will FEEL more confident and outgoing. This means wearing good clothes that fit you well, but it also means projecting yourself with the right posture and body language also.

KEEP WORKING ON YOUR INNER SELF

I couldn't have made the progress that I've made in my life without the help of self help products and personal development courses. It's very important that you work on your inner self, so read as many books on the subject as you can but also participate in some online courses. If you can boost your confidence and self esteem, the shyness will just fall away all by its self.

Click Here To Boost Your Self Esteem And Confidence In 7 Days

You don't have to put up with shyness for the rest of your life... you can and should put a stop to it, starting now. Not only are you missing out on fulfilling friendships, but other people are missing out by not getting to experience quality time with you.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Kristine Hallbom - Psychology Of Money Prosperity Abundance
Tyler Durden - Silly Routines For Silly Chicks

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Why Men Look At Other Women

Even if you looked like Adriana Lima, you're going to have to face the fact that I, just like most every other heterosexual man, will look at other women.

You could be the love of my life and give me the greatest sex this side of Jenna Jameson, but my eyes will still check out the behind of that hot girl on the treadmill at the gym. So why is that? Allow me to explain why men look at other women.

WHY MEN LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN

You shouldn't confuse a wandering eye with a wandering penis, they are not one and the same. If I were incredibly happy in a relationship, why would I want to ruin it on a hot butt when I have no idea what goes on beyond that?

But men, as I'm sure you've heard a million times, are visual, and that is why I can't help myself when I spot an itty, bitty waist and a round thing in my face. And truth be told, there's no reason why it should offend you.

Of course, if I were staring her down and spent five minutes analyzing her butt, I could understand why you'd want to introduce your shoe to my face, but that's because I'd feel the same way if tables were turned.

If I just look her way, realize she's hot and mention to you that she's pretty, what's the problem with that? Why should that bother you? I'm obviously with you because I think you're hot, too, so shouldn't that make you more comfortable allowing me some "she's hot" time?

FOR MEN, ITS INNOCENT APPRECIATION

If you spotted an exceptionally good-looking guy and you were with your boyfriend at the time, you would:

A- Try to sneak a peek when you think your boyfriend's not looking

B- Look at him openly and mention to your boyfriend that he's quite smoking

C- Let go of your boyfriend's hand and attempt to flirt with the other guy

If you chose A, then chances are you're either afraid that looking at the other man will lead to an argument or will justify him looking at women.

If you chose B, you probably have a healthy relationship and your guy is comfortable pointing out which women he thinks are hot as well.

If you chose C, it's probably over by now.

WHY MEN LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN

So why do we do it? Can't we just keep our eyes on the prize and let all the other beautiful women walk on by without so much as a glance? No, we can't, and here's why.

WHY MEN LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN, REASON #1

MEN APPRECIATE BEAUTY

When something is beautiful, be it a Breitling, an SL600 Roadster, a Samsung MM-A900, or a landscape, a man appreciates it because it is of interest to him.

So when we spot a strange but beautiful woman in our peripheral vision, it is our reflexes at work. Upon noticing that she is quite the looker, we continue to appreciate her beauty just long enough so as not to seem like weirdoes.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Jo Barrett - The Men Guide To The Women Bathroom
Jon Jensen - Women Tell You How To Meet Women
Jennifer Smith - Why I Love Men Dating Playbook For Women

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Confidence And Fear

It's an old self-help aphorism that people are motivated to either move towards pleasure, or to move away from pain. For most people, the move away from pain is a much stronger motivator than the move towards pleasure. This has become codified in the well-known marketing aphorism that "painkillers sell better than vitamins." That's a metaphor, of course - it applies to everything from software to appliances to insurance.

Things that "stop you from feeling bad right now" or fix your problems typically sell better than those that "make you feel better in the long term" or create new opportunities. This little quirk of the mind has profound consequences on your confidence, and specifically, your confidence with women when you are trying to get women. Let's jump ahead a little bit and think about what it takes to sleep with a woman and attract women.

Specifically, we want to consider all the major points at which you might get rejected:

- When you make eye contact - does she return it?
- When you approach her - does she engage in a conversation?
- When you ask for her number - does she give it to you?
- When you call her up - does she answer?
- When you ask her out - does she agree, and not flake?
- If you go on multiple dates - does she continue to join you?
- When you go for the kiss - does she kiss you back?
- When you invite her back to yours - does she come?
- When you go for the gold - does she award you the medal?

Damn! Depending on how many dates it takes you to get to sex, that's between six and twelve (or more) opportunities that one woman has to reject you before you're doing the no-pants-dance. Lots of potential roadblocks and pitfalls when trying to attract women. And never mind all the opportunities you have to make yourself out to be a total ass along the way.

Later in this book, I'll be giving you detailed procedures for getting through each one and still being able to get women. But for now, let's consider that, with this perilous path in front of you, it's easy to forget about the finish line. And that, my friend, is because of pain and fear. Rejection isn't pleasant, and depending on how fragile your ego is and how many people are watching (or how many you think may be watching), it could be more than merely unpleasant for you.

I've worked with men who break out in sweats or feel the need to vomit when they're faced with the prospect of starting a conversation with a woman in a bar. I've worked with others who eject from a conversation after ten minutes, telling me that they didn't want to "screw it up." And I've worked with others still who can have a four-hour conversation with a woman, build a deep connection with her, and end up in the friend zone for failing to take it sexual.

The cause of all of these is the same: fear of rejection when trying to attract women. And the case that I'm trying to make is that one of our biggest impediments with women is our own fear. I hope you're with me on that one. Dealing with - and beating - this fear, is the challenge of your life as a single man.

As far as I see it there are three things that will help you get past it:

- Understanding female psychology, and why they accept or reject men
- Having a plan - knowing what to say and how to get what you want
- Being awesome, confident and leading with your desires

Find out more about how to attract women today.

Suggested free e-books to read:

C Kellogg - Seduce And Destroy
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets
Dr Peter Davies - Hopes And Fears

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Barry Kirkey Said Something About Me

So these last few weeks have been extremely busy.

Not only do I have my normal job, side projects, etc but I've been trying to experience summer before it's gone. This is my first summer when I haven't moved to either NYC or LA for work. I'm glad to be settled and having fun.

Flashback a few months ago when I started posting Barry's articles on my site, which have no real merit for getting better with women, apart from adding some enjoyment to a guys day for the humor it has. Barry's a great guy who I don't know real well, but seems genuine.

A few weeks ago he had two podcasts in which he said something about me. I WASN'T ABLE TO LISTEN, DID ANYONE HEAR THEM? WHAT WAS SAID ABOUT ME?

All I know is that it has something to do with not posting his Sunday articles. This has nothing to do with Barry, only the sheer weight of work and getting side-tracked.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Jdog - 7 Success Secrets Of Meeting Beautiful Women
Jennifer Smith - Why I Love Men Dating Playbook For Women
Haldeman Julius - What Great Men Have Said About Women

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Pickup Artist

VHI has reteamed with pickup master Mystery for a second season of "The Pickup Artist," premiering Oct. 12.

Mystery will guide nine "socially awkward" students in how to pick up women. The last man standing will receive 50,000.

New wing-girl Tara will join Mystery and season one's wing-man Matador in "The Pickup Artist 2," which moves to Phoenix for this season. "It's certainly no mystery why we've partnered again with Mystery," said Jeff Olde, VH1's executive VP of original programming and production, in a statement. "He already had a legion of followers from his book when we launched 'The Pickup Artist' series last year, and now he's grown into a pop culture phenomenon. He's even been parodied on 'Saturday Night Live'-a true indicator of water-cooler buzz."

SocialWingmen.com - Meet your wings

My take on it. Last fall when pick up artist show came out, it was huge rise in interest in pick up. This time around i am expecting take 2 of that, so once again, more people will start looking for pick up material, pick up books, coaching, and all that stuff. Mystery will be taking the major cut of that, but we small guys also will be picking up crumbs of whats left. In fact, if you look at google trends, search for pick up artist words on google literally quadrupled during the showing ofthe show.Sign up for Pick up Future RSS feed.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tyler Durden - Puppy Dog Routines
Juggler - How To Be A Pickup Artist
C Kellogg - Pick Up Lines

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Be The Selector By David Wygant

Recently, a friend of mine from Europe wrote me a great email. Now, he's a confident, good-looking guy who really understands the power of his mind and his attitude. He sent me something this morning that really resonated with me, and I'm going to call it "BE THE SELECTOR".

Most men will go to the bar, find a position, stand there, drink some booze, and hope either the right woman walks by so they can talk to her or that they get up enough liquid courage to walk over and talk to someone. Does this sound familiar so far?

They will also wait for the hot woman to be near them and then they will make the number one cardinal sin happen. They will buy her a drink and she will of course spend the obligatory 2 minutes with him and then walk away. Only to be seen 30 minutes later sucking face with a dude in the corner sipping the drink you bought her.

As the night progresses, the women will be hit on more and more by different guys using the same boring approach. A guy will be standing there at the bar waiting his turn. Once he finally figures out what to say (which he thinks is so clever and original), it is really the exact same thing all the other guys have been saying. The guy finally gets his turn, and he gets shot down even quicker than the other guys. Why does he get shot down quicker? Because she's already heard what he's trying on her, and her patience is at a night time low for all the un-clever banter that's been brought over to her.

Not only is this something that men do, men will repeat this over and over every Friday night hoping that this will work one time. They might as well send the 100 dollars they spend in the bar to a charity, at least then the money will be put to good use.

When you learn the power of being the selector, you are now different than every other guy who wishes they were selected. Women feel your lack of confidence right when you walk over to her. Women smell a routine a mile away. Let's talk about a routine.

There are good routines and bad routines. What makes the difference between a good routine and a bad routine?

A bad routine usually has the man talking nonstop. Because he's so nervous and he doesn't want even a moment of silence, he becomes "routine man." Either he tells a story or asks a question, but he never listens to her response to know what to say next.

Also a bad routine will only work on drunk 22 year old club girls and when you think you have a potential date with them you will find out 2 days later when you call that she either gave you a wrong number or all you get is voicemail and no phone call back.

I have found that 7 out of 10 times you use a routine and meet drunk girls in bar the odds of getting a date is 30%.

So you will need to get 10 phone numbers for 3 dates. Do you want to work such low odds and think about how long it takes you to get 10 phone numbers in a hot bar.

A routine guy will brag about all the numbers he gets, the reason why is because he knows that the majority of women that he gets a number of will never turn into a date.

Do you want to be a routine guy so you can brag to your friends about all the numbers you get?

Or do you desire to be a Selector, a man that not only gets the number but she can't wait for him to call and sometimes when you are a Selector a woman will actually chase you.

Lets talk further about how a Selector makes this happen.

A selector will walk over to a group of women with a very clever opener that will get them speaking and competing for his attention. For instance, you're in a bar and three women are standing there. They've already rejected two or three guys. A routine guy will walk over with the same routine that those last guys did. A selector will walk over with a purpose - he is going to get every woman intrigued by him.

One of my favorite openers in a bar is "the text opener." I will have my friend text me this into my phone: "Hmmm... Last night was really interesting. What are you doing later? ": Now that you have this in your phone, you need a back story. The back story is that you went out with this woman the night before, had a glass of wine, and said goodnight without any kiss. So you approach the group of three women, and you ask them "Can I have your opinion on something? Before I show you what I need your opinion on, I need to tell you the back story." Then you explain to them about the date the night before. And then... the fun begins.

You pass them the phone, and every one of them will have a comment. Within three to five minutes, you will find out about their booty call rules and their dating habits. The key to making this work is to listen. If girl #1 says "She's booty calling you," you need to challenge her and say "Is that what you do when you booty call a guy?"

As all of you know, I'm not a big routine guy. Everything I teach is all about observation and being present in the moment so you can connect with women.

But bars are a different ball game, and a lot of women when they go to a bar are very guarded. Truthfully, I don't blame them. If I was out on a Friday night and everybody looked at me like a piece of meat on a grill, and all that was missing was the A1 Sauce, I can see how they begin to get this way.

Now I know women right now are reading this and thinking "Why do men have to play games and use routines?" The reason is obvious. Most women don't make themselves available when they go out on a Friday night. They hover in packs, and barely make any eye contact with men. So we feel like we have to come up with something to say to get your attention... and "hello" just doesn't seem to cut it.

So in order to become the selector, you also have to be able to be unique and different. Selectors may have little routines from time to time, but the key is not what you say... it's how you say it and listening. If you listen, you will become the selector.

Try this out in a bar and you will realize that women will not only find this entertaining and fun, but different. Not only that, by saying you went out on a date and then having them see what's in that text, they will wonder what you said on an hour date that made her text you at 10:00 pm on a Friday night.

A friend of mine used this approach, and all the women in the group he approached wanted him after that. One walked by and let her business card fall. Another one met him at the bathroom. The one he initially spoke to when he walked over to the group called him twenty minutes after he left the bar. They all became hookups for him.

It's all about confidence, and not worrying about what you look like or what happens if you get turned down. The more you talk to women, the greater chance of success you'll have. My friend emailed me and said "I've stopped chatting them up, because it always works and I have no time anymore for all these women."

The power of being the selector is within you. Women desire the man who selects them... not the man who begs them. Time for you to kick ass, and start learning how to listen and attract all the women you desire!

Suggested free e-books to read:

Alex Benzer - The Tao Of Dating
Adam Gilad - Interview With David Wygant

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Book Review The Layguide

The Layguide By Tony Clink
With a title that gets straight to the point, TONY CLINK's is designed to help men of all shapes, sizes and age get laid. Yes, you read that right. It's all about sex.

Despite its blunt and borderline offensive title, however, TONY CLINK's book does provide some very useful and helpful advice. From using negative hits to not paying for any woman's attention, TONY CLINK makes it clear that if a man wants to get a woman into bed, he needs to build a connection and gain status with her.

And although the end goal of TONY CLINK's mission is to help men get "laid" buyers of the book can still use it to develop long-term and meaningful relationships.

It's true, though, that this book has plenty of chauvinistic moments and controversial advice, but most of what's written is practical advice that many men who feel insecure with women need.

If you do opt to read this book, take away what you think might be useful in your own situation and adapt it. But don't think that asking a woman to give you a kiss in exchange for buying her a drink is going to work. Unless, of course, she's an alcoholic.

RATING: 3 OUT OF 5

Suggested free e-books to read:

Helen Seporsky - Get Laid Guide
Maniac High - How To Lays Girls Guide

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Social Psychology Stop Shyness Now With These Simple Tips

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

START OFF SMALL

WORK ON THE WAY YOU LOOK

KEEP WORKING ON YOUR INNER SELF

Why Men Look At Other Women

WHY MEN LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN

WHY MEN LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN

MEN APPRECIATE BEAUTY

Confidence And Fear

Find out more about how to attract women today.

Barry Kirkey Said Something About Me

Pickup Artist

Be The Selector By David Wygant

Book Review The Layguide

The Layguide By Tony Clink

RATING: 3 OUT OF 5

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