Suggested free e-books to read:
Lots of guys are gonna tell you you need to master alot of things before you can get laid.
You'll hear guys saying things like, "Hey, you need to learn these techniques. You have to know this method. You have to read these ebooks. You have to take this bootcamp and that seminar."
There are plenty of people who are going to teach you techniques, routines, lines, and methods to use to get laid. Thats fine, most guys who come here are going to need alot of that stuff.
What most guys won't teach you is to have a mindset thats going to make this journey in bettering yourself with women, as smooth and as easy as possible. When you're new to PU or have zero experience with women(or both), its easy to get caught up in the idea that you have to master every technique and every method that you see.
Its easy to get caught up in Guru worship spending thousands and thousands of hard earned dollars to learn techniques and things that you cant apply because you dont have the field experience to back up the techniques, basically just throwing your money away to have a guy yell at you to get in set and picking you apart when you come back(hell, I can do this right now, for free, lol).
It's easy to get caught up in wanting to be the top PUA in the community. The quest to be the best. Even I was infatuated with the idea at the beginning.
But if you wanna get from zero experience to hero in the field, none of these motivations are going to take you there in the long run. The desire to lay every girl you meet, the search for the perfect 10, the desire to pay back all those women who looked down on you before who are gonna kiss your ass when you show them the skills you've learned, for most guys, these motivations aren't gonna help you in the long run either.
What happens when you have the ability to lay alot of the girls you meet and PU gives you nothing to look forward to? What happenes when you lay A COUPLE of perfect tens and realize that beautiful women arent really that important? What happens when you lay all those chicks that looked down on you in the past, and you blow em off for better chicks that you picked up using your skills alone?
PU is gonna be empty. Youre going to have wasted alot of time searching to master every technique, wasted alot of money to learn basic skills, and spent alot of your life aiming to be the best. Then youre gonna go on your merry way looking for some other wordly pleasure to fill whatever it is thats missing in your life.
I've seen guys do it. Master every skill, sleep with tons of women, and they're still miserable. They move on to devote themselves to a religion they barely believe in to feel better about themselves. You dont have to go through that excrutiating process, and you have all the opportunity in the world to get what you want out of PU and out of life,. So lets get your heads together now while it can make a difference, before you go down that long road of wasting your time.
Theres basically two ways to approach learning pick-up and how to seduce women. You learn and pick-up with the intention of getting laid, or you learn and pick-up with the intention of getting good. This is about as simple as I can make it.
Where this is applies to you: DO NOT APPROACH PU WITH THE IDEA OF GETTING GOOD.
Not yet. You can see which experienced guys are simply out to get good just by watching what they're doing. Its all about how much can their skillset accomplish on its own.
You wanna get good? You put yourself in a position where you have little to rely on other than your own head. No social proof. No pivots. No wing. Dress down(no peacocking). Cold approaching only. Going for threesomes. Going for the hottest girls only. Ignoring logistics. Basically trying to bed women by will alone.
When youre new, if you constantly put yourselves in interactions that involve alot of those situations all grouped together, you're going to make it ALOT, for emphasis sake, ENTIRELY WAY TOO MUCH HARDER on yourself than it needs to be. You're going to make it hard for yourself to see success. To get laid. To meet girls that you're able to handle at your level of skill. Youre going to make it harder for yourself to be satisfied with your level of success.
Even worse, most newer guys spend most of their time in the field trying to master ALL of those specific situations. And they have to spend thousands of approaches just to get past one stage. And thats because they never took the time to get comfortable with just going through the basics and getting their dick wet enough to not care if they're getting laid "tonight" or if theyre laying every chick, or seeing immediate success.
Trust me, in trying to master specific areas of sarging, you need to be completely outcome EDIT independent EDIT at all times to fully grasp and be objective about where you are as a PUA, what you need to be doing, and what you did right/wrong in the field. But the process becomes alot shorter when you already have field experience to thoroughly cover the basics.
Which leads me to: PU to get laid.
In the beginning, you need to be comfortable with just going through your sarges and interactions taking the simplest steps to get laid. Once your comfortable doing this and sex becomes less of an issue, THEN you can move on to mastering specific skills, working on perfecting your skillset.
So where do you start? Opening, duh.
But look, you dont have to be able to open every set or have 1000 openers to deal with every situation. You dont even need to perfect a routine stack. All you need: to be able to overcome approach anxiety to where you can open(literally just open your mouth and say something), and to be able to open and keep the conversation moving for a few minutes every few times you open. Thats as far as you have to master opening before you move on to the next step.
Second: Kino
You dont have to be able to take every interaction to the point where you're making out and feeling her up. All need is just enough experience to be comfortable touching her hand or arm here and there, punching her in the shoulder during or in response to a playful joke, putting your arm around her without feeling uncomfortable, and walking close enough or sitting close enough to her that incidental kino is bound to happen.
Then: #Closing and Phone Game
Once you can open and hold a conversation every once in awhile while throwing in some kino here in there, all you need are some simple ways to get phone numbers to keep the interaction moving along when there are time constraints you have to deal with. Really simple way: Just hand her your phone, really, shes not stupid. And if she resists or offers you some bullshit excuse, just say "cool." Hand her your phone again lol, sometimes her bullshit is just a shit test that you can ignore.
As for talking on the phone, dont wait forever to call her back. Within in the next two days is cool. You dont have to be super funny or super interesting EVERY SINGLE SECOND your on the phone. Just relax, dont make a big deal out of it and use the call to set up a Day2. "Lets go to 'such and such' tomorrow so we can do 'this and that'." Doesnt have to be some complicated well thought out strategy to get her to meet you. Not every girl you call is gonna meet you anyway. Get over it, its no big deal. You need just enough to get a day2 here and there.
Next on the list: Day 2s
Learn how to have a normal damn conversation. Not boring, but dont act like you havent ever talked talked to girls before. Learn to step up your kino a lil bit. Instead of asking yourself is now a good time to kiss or when should I kiss her, just shut the fuck up, move close to her, and do it. And dont shove your tongue down her throat either. Just brush your lips up against hers just enough so that she knows its a kiss but not so much that she can say you tried to rape her(lol). If you have to practice just having conversations and kino with your female friends(aka LJBFs girls) to comfortable enough to where its not weird to you, then do that.
Obviously: Isolation
Youre gonna have to find somewhere to go. Most new guys cant pull a girl into the bathroom at Waffle House to get some ass. Thats fine. If you cant take her back to your place, or you cant go to hers, or neither of you have a car, then you have to get creative. Other than that, just use dumb excuses to be alone. They can honestly be dumb. As long as you dont make a big deal out of it and you arent a weirdo, most girls if theyre into you, will be perfectly happy to check out your myspace page or play madden '07 with you for a few minutes. If all you have is the car, hell, take her to the park so you can see the ducks/fish/stars/wtf ever. It doesnt even have to be a really legit reason to be alone. Just let it be a reason, and one that you can justify when you get there. Then keep her around longer than JUST to do that one thing. Its not rocket science.
Moving on: Escalation
At some point, you have to be sexual. If anyone has been keeping up with my beginner methods, then you should arleady have no problem projecting the fact that your sexual in some way. Kino, EC, conversation topics, sexual humor... list goes on. You've got her isolated now, so obviously, she's not going to make the first move. You have to be comfortable enough to just go for at some point in time. Stop worrying about whether she likes you or is attracted to you or wants sex or whatever. If she's alone with you even though you gave her that bullshit excuse, she wants it, whether she knows it or not. Its your job to lead.
At some point: "Fuck a Calibration"
Just fuck it and go caveman. Grab her ass, pull her too you(i dont mean like a maniac, have some gentile nature about it), and kiss her. Drag her to the bedroom and basically throw her on the bed. You might even have to put her over your shoulder and carry her in there if shes not there already. Who cares. THEN back to calibrating again. Start learning the difference between "No" (stop, i dont want this, you're weird, im gonna call the cops) and "No" (we shouldnt be doing this, but I want you, but maybe im just not completely comfortable, slow down and turn me on first, press the right buttons and this will turn to yes, aka No, dont stop).
This should go without saying: Have sex.
If you havent had much sex, turn your lays into FBs so you get that experience with little to no extra work(aka sarging a new girl). I shouldnt have to go into all the reasons why its important to have some regular sex at some point when you have no experience with women. Obviously, you cant read any information offered to you if you need an explanation.
Until you get some lays and enough experience in all of these areas to simply be comfortable with doing these, YOU SHOULD NOT BE SPENDING TONS OF APPROACHES TO MASTER ANY ONE THING. Thats basically it. You work on getting good later.
How do you judge how much experience you need with each before you move on to working on the next stages? Well, have you done the stage before it yet? Do you feel like if you have to do it again with a new girl that its possible? Do you still have anxiety when it comes to any of those things that youre currently working on that makes it very difficult to go through with it? Are you having enough success with what youre doing to feel like you can take it to the next level soon? Being able to answer all of these questions can tell you whether you need to keep working on this one particular area or move ahead with this girl and come back to it in your future sarges.
All you have to do now is just go get in the field. Once you have the basics down, then you add the bells and whistles that augment your ability to apply the basic skills. Basically, you add everything in a PUA's arsenal that can help you get laid. From social proof, to advanced techniques, to wings and pivots and everything else. When you get to the point where you understand the dynamic between you and the girls you're sarging, and you have no problem getting laid or using the principles conventially relied upon in the community, then you move on to getting good.
You can drop all the extra stuff and start focusing again on mastering the skills that make you great regardless of whatever cards you have up your sleeves(social proof, peacocking, etc).
Get to work.
Credit - Nashvilleplayboy MASF
Helen Seporsky - Get Laid Guide
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Getting Laid Vs Getting Good
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