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Online Dating For The Single 30 Something Woman

Life isn’t fair. Men get all the breaks. You’ve devoted all of your 20’s to getting your career off the ground. Not that you haven’t been dating...you have, but not seriously. Now here you are...30 something and there is no long term relationship in sight. You can actually hear your biological clock ticking. You have a precious few years to find a man to fall in love with, make him fall in love with you, get married, and have a baby or its lights out. You already know all of the men in your social circle. Not that they aren’t nice guys...some of them...but none of them are your soul mate. What’s a girl to do?

Consider online dating. You have the opportunity to read hundreds of profiles and look at hundreds of pictures in search of that “someone” that will be right for you. Maybe he will live in the same city you do...maybe he will live across the country or even in another country altogether. You aren’t limited to only those men that you come in contact with personally. The possibilities are almost endless.

“Is online dating safe”, you ask. “Aren’t the online dating sites made up entirely of perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes in assorted shapes and sizes?” the answer is, no they aren’t. Not anymore anyway. That was true when online dating first came on the scene but now it is mainstream. It’s as safe as you make it using common sense and sound judgment. Use the same caution that you would when meeting any stranger. Don’t give your real name, address or phone number until you feel safe doing so. Don’t rush into a face-to-face meeting until you are confident and then make the first meeting in a public place and during daylight hours. Give it a try...Mr. Right might be a few mouse clicks away.

Do any of those sound familiar to you? You really feel that you're very easily hurt by criticism. You really feel shy on every thing. You attempt to hide your feelings from other people. You have a tendency to blame your self. Occasionally you really feel lonely or depressed even when other people are close to. You do not really feel you are as great as other people - not as appealing, smart or amusingly witty. You've a issue to say "no" due to fear of getting rejected by other people. You're afraid of failure and really feel that you're underachieving.

Think it or not, all of those will provide you with the emotion of unhappy, sad, anxiety. With all of those, can you truly believe your self pleased? Particularly when it arrive to dating? But GOD has produced us, and also give us a effective thoughts. That's why we can take advantage of our thoughts to accomplish whatever we want. If we want happiness, we can accomplish it. How? A good views might help you transform the great points you attract and wish. That's the Law Of Attraction.

Believe pleased, and you'll be pleased. A essential step in this procedure may be the immediate replacement of all damaging views through the good ones. The high quality of our views decides the high quality from the outcomes of our existence. Listed here are the methods by which good views might help you achieve numerous points in existence. Exact same as for the dating existence. If you would like to possess a prosperous and pleased dating, believe each and every good methods to have you pleased dating.

The five Extremely Efficient Actions to some Pleased Dating existence:

- Display kindness and respect towards other people and your self.
- Bonding and Communication.
- Use visualization techniques to view the good factors of existence.
- Discover the a single essential point inside your existence that’s essential, and pursue it with passion.
- Acceptance and Forgiveness.

Suggested ebooks:

Joseph Matthews - Meeting Dating And Seducing Women
Michael Hall - Mind Lines Lines For Changing Minds
Donald Moine - Going For The Gold In The Selling Game

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loki

Why Wont He Kiss Me

JACKIE BLACK, PH.D. IS AN INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED RELATIONSHIP EXPERT, EDUCATOR AND COACH, AND THE BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF _MEETING YOUR MATCH: CRACKING THE CODE TO SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS_, AND _COUPLES AND MONEY: CRACKING THE CODE TO ENDING THE #1 CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE,_ WHICH IS SCHEDULED FOR RELEASE IN EARLY 2010. DR. JACKIE IS A POPULAR INTERNET SYNDICATED WRITER AND RADIO PERSONALITY; AND IS FREQUENTLY CITED IN MAJOR MENS AND WOMENS MAGAZINES, AND RELATIONSHIP-FOCUSED WEB SITES. VISIT WWW.DRJACKIEBLACK.COM AND CONTACT DR. JACKIE AT DRJACKIE@DRJACKIEBLACK.COM.

READER QUESTION #1: WHY WON'T HE KISS ME?

I'm seeing a guy and I am still not sure if he wants to be with me. We've been seeing each other about twice a week for 2 months. When we're together, he treats me great and showers me with attention and affection.

The thing is, he has never attempted to kiss me, and I think this is weird. And when we're apart, he never calls just to say "hi." He only calls to make plans.

I'm not used to dating a man who doesn't want at least a kiss after the first date, let alone the 8th. Should I confront him and, if so, what should I ask him?

"CHANTAL"

DR. JACKIE BLACKS ANSWER:

I think you need to be clear about why you are dating. Are you dating to go out and have fun? Are you dating for sex? Or are you dating to find a man whose beliefs, values and interests match yours so you can build a long-lasting, happy relationship together?

If you are dating for sex, I suggest you make that clear to yourself and to the men you are dating, and then date the men who only want to have sex with you. There are plenty of men who will "want you" until they don't; until they get tired of you; or until the next woman comes along and captures their attention.

If you are dating to find your ideal partner, then focus on getting to know the man you are dating and stop worrying if he wants to be with you sexually.

It's your job to be the chooser. You decide if you like him; and what it is about him that you like, respect and enjoy.

Become a good observer of yourself and of the men you are dating, and don't get distracted by having sex or needing or wanting to be desired.

I wish you all the best on this journey to finding love!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Dr Peter Davies - What Will The Neighbors
Masterclass - Light Her Fire
Dating Insider - The Hello Kiss

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loki

Women Who Sleep Around

I started dating Anne about 4 months and we recently got into a discussion about our pasts.

I told her that I had been with about 6 women before we met (I'm 33), she told me she's been with way more men than that. I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear a number, as I was already feeling a bit turned off to hear the word "way" before "more", but she told me anyway.

She's 27 and has had sex with 38 guys, most of which were one-night stands.

Now I'm not saying I want to date a virgin, but I sure as hell don't want to date a girl who thinks she's a truck stop, either.

In my opinion, a girl who gives her body out with such ease has no respect for herself, so why should I be the one to give her any? She doesn't see anything wrong with having slept with so many men, but I do?

Am I just backwards or old-fashioned in my thinking? Are there other guys out there who agree with my assessment?

Needless to say, I dumped her because I couldn't have sex with her without imagining all those other men she's been with.

DAN

Oh Dan, rest assured you are not alone. Almost every guy I consulted said the same thing, and oftentimes it was about the fact that she placed no value on her body.

On the other hand, there are plenty of women who told me that they, too, have slept around and have plenty of respect for themselves.

I hate to say it, but we live in a time where sex is the new good-night kiss, so I don't think that it's really a matter of self-respect or self-worth. I just think that many women are owning their bodies and their sexuality and having fun before they opt to settle down.

If you can't deal with it, then I suggest you leave her. But think about the last 4 months with her? Were they great? Were you happy?

I suggest you try to figure out what's really bothering you here? Is it that she slept with so many men and you think she doesn't respect herself? Or is it that she slept with plenty more people than you have? Do you have a secret fear that if you don't give it to her enough, that she'll cheat on you because of her promiscuity?

These are the things you need to figure out before you move on to your next relationship. If you move on, that is.

AMY

EX BOYFRIEND RETURNS

When Johnny left me 2 years ago, I was devastated and think I spent two months crying over it. I finally got over it and recently began dating casually.

Well, guess what? Johnny shows up a week ago and starts flirting with me again. Then he tells me that he made a huge mistake and wants to pick up where we left off.

It's easy for me to fall in love with him again - HE WAS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED IN A MAN. He's 32 and I'm 30, and I think he might be the one.

What steps can I take to ensure that he won't want to leave again?

STEPH

Steph, there is no magic solution to keeping a man interested in you. Obviously, nagging and whining and complaining all the time won't help, but you shouldn't feel like you have to put on an act to keep him interested in you.

That's not the way a healthy relationship works.

If you're going to take this guy back but walk on egg shells to keep him, how happy are you really going to be?

It's time you had the long talk with this guy and let him know what you expect and where you stand. No games, no bullsh*t.

If he's not willing to compromise, then move on. You already have, anyway.

Remember, he wants you back, so you were obviously doing something right all along, right?

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tyler Durden - Responses To Leave Us Alone
Love Systems - Daytime Dating Never Sleep Alone
William Robinson - Woman Her Sex And Love Life

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loki

Why Women Pressure Men To Get Married

DONNA F. FERBER, LPC, LADC IS A LICENSED PSYCHOTHERAPIST IN CONNECTICUT. HER NEWEST BOOK, "PROFILEACTICS: A GUIDE FOR THE PREVENTION OF ILL-CONCEIVED PERSONAL ADS" IS AVAILABLE AT BOOKSTORES EVERYWHERE, AMAZON.COM OR AT PROFILEACTICS.COM. HER FIRST BOOK, "FROM EX-WIFE TO EXCEPTIONAL LIFE: A WOMANS JOURNEY THROUGH DIVORCE" WON AN HONORABLE MENTION AWARD BY THE INDEPENDENT PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION. TO READ MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND HER WORK, PLEASE VISIT DONNAFERBER.COM.

READER QUESTION 1: PRESSURE TO MARRY

I have been dating a woman for 3 years now, and I think that marriage is the direction we will be heading in. The thing is, over the last 3 months, she has been pressuring me and arguing with me about marriage, to the extent where she's giving me ultimatums.

Now, I'm rethinking the whole marriage thing because if she's acting like this now, what will she be like once we've tied the knot?

Am I right to feel like her behavior is somewhat out of control or do all women get this way after they spend a certain amount of time dating? We have been living together for a year. She's 30 and I'm 33.

"TODD"

"DONNA FERBER'S ANSWER:

Dear Todd,

Dating is about getting to know each other-this includes how well you resolve conflict. Many couple marry without having never argued and then they find themselves stunned when they argue, not only that they disagree but how they disagree.

Conflict is a part of life and a part of all relationships. The success of your conflict resolution style is directly related to the success of the marriage. How you fight is more important than what you fight about.

Here are some questions to ask yourself about your relationship:

- How do you resolve conflict?
- Do you listen to each other?
- Are you respectful of your partners opinion even if you disagree?
- Can you compromise?
- Can you agree to disagree?
- Do you try to win or do you look for resolution?

OR

- Do you shout, name call, bully, threaten, have tantrums?
- Do you try to control by withdrawing affection, or sex?
- Do you use silence or sarcasm?

If you employ the first set of strategies then most problems can be easily resolved. In the second set of strategies, the focus is on manipulating the outcome to get you way. Whenever we manipulate, we may win the argument but the "loser" may feel resentful or controlled. Furthermore, that kind of coercion can result in a festering of hostility that impacts the future health of the relationship.

A word to your girlfriend, if you start a marriage with an ultimatum, you will never know for sure if he married you because he wanted to or because you bullied him into it.

READER QUESTION 2: THE FIRST KISS

Should men go in for the kiss on a first date? Every woman friend I have tells me that if I don't the woman will think me a wuss, but I've tried it a couple of times and got shot down. When I tried, it was because I thought that the girls and I had the right chemistry. So what are the signs that I should go in for the kiss if that's the case?

"ERICK"

DONNA FERBER'S ANSWER:

Dear Erick,

Both men and women use body language to communicate their level of interest. During the date, does she face you directly, look into your eyes? Does she use her hands expressively to talk-palms open and up? Does she sometimes touch you leg with her foot? Does she play with her hair, touch you on the arm, laugh enthusiastically at your jokes? These are signals that she likes you and would most likely not recoil from a good night kiss.

If you are not getting any of these signals, then there is a good chance she is not ready to take the relationship to the next level. In that case, you might have to settle for a hug at the end of the date.

If you are in doubt, don't be afraid to ask. " May I give you a hug?" is a respectful mature way to act. Women will appreciate your manners, feel respected and if she is undecided as to whether or not to see you again, this behavior may just clinch the deal. Since when does respect make one a "wuss"?

Suggested free e-books to read:

Alphahot1 - Banging Women From First Meeting To Getting Them Into Bed
Marsh - The Ten Pleasures Of Marriage

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loki

Woman Rigs Husband Power Tools

Pissed off that he was leaving her, Washington woman CAROLYN PAULSEN-RIAT, tampered with her husband's power tools and the next time he used them, he received a powerful electric shock.

Although he didn't sustain any injuries serious enough to warrant a hospital visit, the woman was arrested and charged with third-degree assault, domestic violence, and second-degree malicious mischief.

When asked why she did it, CAROLYN PAULSEN-RIAT told them she had reversed the wires on his power tools because she was really angry that he was leaving her.

Wow, let that be a lesson to husband's everywhere. If you're going to leave your wife, make sure that she's not the vengeful type, otherwise, you might end up feeling like you got tasered when you try to do some work on your new place.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Emma Goldman - Marriage And Love
Amargi Hillier - Mind Power Seduction
William Robinson - Woman Her Sex And Love Life

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loki

Fr It Just Got Interesting

Here's another PUA Philos from MASF with pretty decent writing skills. His games pretty tight and though he is suffering at times with depression, I'm sure he'll bounce back from it.

Wednesday.

She was quiet.

She was never quiet. Something was wrong.

"Rough day?" I asked

"No." She said. She wanted me to dig. I would, but not for long and only because this wasn't like her. Firstly, though, I concentrated on my turkey sandwich. Being as broke as a guy can be, purchasing a turkey sandwich, even at TGI Friday's, was something I would cherish and enjoy regardless of whatever LTR/FB bullshit was going on. We sat at a small, square table beside the stairs leading up to the bar area. It was meant to seat four people, but in that weird way. You know, where all your legs are awkwardly touching while you're hovered over your plate, and you can't tell whether your foot is on someone else's shoe or the metal supports for the table so you have to keep looking down to make sure. Definitely not ideal for four guys, but perfect for me and an FB. I love bringing day twos here just for the reason that it's socially appropriate for our legs to touch. I chewed and relished each bite of my child's menu sized sandwich. I comfortably enjoyed the silence. She wasn't having it. I looked up to find her staring at me, with that cute head tilt thing your dog does while you're trying to explain why he shouldn't shit on the rug because it's bad, bad, bad with a finger shake.

Holding eye contact, I took another bite of my sandwich and chewed. I pictured James Bond in "From Russia With Love." I pictured Marlon Brando in "Streetcar Named Desire." I pictured Clark Gable and Tyler Durdan (Fight Club TD), and Dirk Diggler, and even my old natural friend from High School who was Johnny All-American. I pictured all of them, and I wondered how they would act right now; how they would sit. I had known this was going to be weird. I never really do a formal lunch thing with girls excluding a few LTRs from before I entered the community. I only brought them out formally like this when I was cutting things off. I don't know why. Maybe because I haven't developed anything better yet. Or maybe because it's like #1,007 in my list of things I need to improve still. This HB knew what was coming too. She was an intelligent brunette, bout a 7.5 or an 8, with a fantastic personality whom I had met in the middle of May at Sananofre beach.

She was a surfer girl, but didn't have that super-dark tan. She had a lighter skin tone with great complexion and a few scattered freckles around her face and body. Her skin-tone was the kind of slight tan where you can just make out the tan lines when they're lying naked in your bed. I like tan lines. They remind me of the forbidden, and I find that sexy.

"Nice," she had said after I opened her, pointing to the decal of a topless female-devil on my 10' Robert August long board. "I can tell that you're just starting out. If you WERE a surfer, that (the decal) would be a blonde girl."

"Um, 'IT' is actually a SHE, thank you. You may look at women as merely objects, but I like to think of women as people first...Geez. Get it together! Actually, you're right though, she's not my type at all. I'm totally a sucker for blondes. They had these little blonde angels, but the angel thing just isn't my style," I replied.

"Oh you like the bad girls huh?" she said sort of disdainfully, with a lack of flirtation, "Well, too bad. I'm a good, Christian girl." She explained.

"No, no. Didn't you hear me? I'M ATTRACTED TO BLONDES (cupping my hands in a screaming fashion). So don't get the wrong idea. You're, like, totally in my friend zone already (credit BradP). I respect that you're religious though. That's neat-o. I used to be ueber-religious before I started studying philosophy and rational theology. Was raised Catholic actually. Still believe in the whole 'no sex until marriage' thing though."

"NO WAY!" she exclaimed, "You are SOo not a virgin!"

(and I went into my Virgin Except Anal Sex routine)

She spent the next two hours "teaching" me how to surf. I'm not great, but I can hold my own. Still, I let her believe that I was just plain horrible so that she could enjoy teaching me. We flirted, escalated kino. Played push/pull verbally a whole lot. Not just me, but she played too. Still, it was obvious to both of us that it was simply that...just playing. I could have been totally AFC and it would've resulted in a lay. She was majorly investing in me, and it was a solid connection. Definitely a cool chick and fun to hang around. That's why we've been at it this long (I'm not good at keeping FBs around. I usually sabotage it in some way subconsciously. It's an SP I'm working on). I think I've been leading her on to keep her around, but just didn't want to admit it to myself. Not verbally, mind you. I've always talked with her openly and honestly. I run the whole, "I'm just not BF material" routine all the time. I even have this yellow t-shirt depicting a husband and wife cutting a wedding cake with the words 'Big Mistake' written under it. But my sub communication was manipulative I must confess. And I felt bad about that. Now though, I felt that she had sensed this would be an awkward lunch as my response to an ultimatum she had given me three days prior: "Commitment, or no more sex (more or less)." I had stopped calling her for two weeks (part of that sabotage-complex I think, but I always backwards rationalize some reason out of cognitive dissonance. Eventually I'll have to resolve that too.), and this must've been the answer to that. In an earlier time, I would have felt lucky to have found this girl and would probably proclaim her my girlfriend. I'd say it had to be fate. These things just don't 'happen'. Quality girls show up all the time now, and I learned that this was all BS mostly (I actually do have a metaphysical view supporting the idea of fate and destiny, but you get my drift.) She had realized that this was Decision-Time, and it was grabbing a hold of her nerves. She wanted me to either start talking about it or dig for what was bothering her until she brought it up. She was getting all fidgety, eagerly awaiting my decision. ['God I'm self-absorbed now,' says my conscience]

Whatever. I was still going to finish my sandwich first. I started looking around the TGI Friday's at all the sets out of habit and caught an HB8.5's EC at the bar with her friend. I held it as I chewed monotonously the way a horse sort of chews on oats in cartoons, but with my mouth closed. She held it a long time- IOI. She was the typical Laguna Beach gold-digger wife. Had a huge rock on her left ring finger. Whatever, I knew I'd open her after dealing with the FB anyways (foreshadowing to Part II). After she focused back on her friend, whose back was to me, I looked back to my FB also. She had brought out what looked like one big fucking report. Something like 150 typed pages. She worked hard at school. What a cool chick.

"Okay, I bite. What's wrong?" I asked in sort of a 'here we go' tone. But she held EC and remained quiet. It was awkward. I was intimidated actually and looked away first. Why did I feel so guilty? I verbalized how awkward the atmosphere was in sort a narrator way, "It got weird..." It's a sound-byte of mine that usually gets a laugh or two during awkward pauses with groups. But like most sound-bytes, it's hard to understand until you hear the tonality. She didn't laugh, just held EC, but now with her jaw clenched. 'Wow, what the hell was going on?' I thought, awkwardly looking around the room, avoiding her EC. When finally, my eyes settled on the top of the first page in her massive pile.

"GEEW!" (Pronounced like the word hue, but with a 'g') I screamed, eyes wide and body stiff. I could see the first two words of the entire document, but I knew exactly what it every single page read after that. I also knew I had been wrong about everything up to this point. I didn't even want to look up into her eyes. For the first time in a while since entering the community, my intellect didn't know what to do. My instincts didn't know what to do. Even that little voice inside me, the one that helps out just a little every now and then, was hushed. I was ashamed.

"You left your laptop at my house when I took you to school the other day so I could watch Nacho Libre, remember?" She explained. 'Gulp' was the only perceptible reply I gave. We had fallen asleep watching a horrible, bootlegged version of the movie "Click." (Great movie to watch with a girl you've already slept with FYI. Never take a day2 to a movie unless you've already established a connection and are comfortable escalating kino in the theater without talking much.) "Yeah, well remember how I told you I suck with computers? I never did find Nacho Libre. Instead," she picked up the first page to begin reading. I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to listen.

"Lay Report: Saint Patty's Day. Laid HB8.5 right in front of old AFC friends," she began reading. My mouth simply hung open in shock.

"This is all bullshit. You were never this smooth."

"Huh?" I was lost.

"That day at the beach. You weren't this smooth. You were pretty dorky actually," she explained.

"Really? Are you sure? Cause I'm pretty fucking smooth," I said, taking a sip of water while looking at the TV to feign disinterest. She kept eyeballing one of 'her' papers. "I mean, I must have done something right if I have a girl researching my life like THIS, Detective."

"Hahah, you never kissed me at beach!" she wasn't even paying attention.

"I know."

"See, this is all bullshit," she threw the page at me. It wasn't the right FR. I could tell by the title. The community is always saying that teaching a girl something is a major DHV and generates a lot of attraction. Like at the post office, telling a girl who's licking a stamp something like, 'Hey, did you know that a stamp is 1/10th of a calorie?' or something sorta lame like that. I agree, but letting a girl teach YOU something gets her to invest in you unconsciously. She'll be more inclined to like you afterwards, or to convince herself that she does. She'll ask herself, 'Why did I devote so much time to the interaction? Hmmm, must be because I like him.' This is called backwards rationalization. It's much easier for her to backwards rationalize that she's attracted to you than it is for her to handle the cognitive dissonance of investing in someone for whom she feels indifference or even dislikes. I tend to run the whole 'I don't know how to, will you show me how' thing all the time lately.

"Hey, Genius, check the date. That's not you," I finally started to feel annoyed by all this. She grabbed the paper back.

"Yes, actually, it is," she leaned forward and pointed to the sheet, "You're talking about fishing in Alaska there, see? And you even write about how we were in a lull, and waiting for waves, and..." she must have been just scanning some of the pages. Had she actually read any of these? I hoped she hadn't. She was now perusing the document thoroughly"...Routine..?" she whispered to herself, "wait, Fat Paul Walker ROUTINE?! THAT was a routine too? But it wasn't even that funny. So, wait..." she kept reading, "This ISN'T me!" I knew she felt like our meeting had 'just happened.' She probably imagined that it was a cool story we could tell all her friends and even her parents about later on after we had been together for awhile. It was painful watching her realize that this was not the case at all. Rather, it was something I did all the time when I went to the beach.

"Yeah, I know. Listen, this stuff comes off really sleazy from an outside perspective, I know. But, look-"

"That's because it is! It's...manipulative," she said.

"No listen...look, I wasn't always good with women. They used to petrify me. Plus, I just plain didn't understand them. Okay, see, there was this one girl Angela right? She was my-"

"You're a player."

"Better than a needy Whine-aholic," I replied automatically.

"You shouldn't lie like this. I KNOW you tell lots of girls about Angela. Is she even real?" Holy fucking shit, was I this stupid? That's how it always is for me. I make one mistake, then I keep making more. I must've gone into a very common routine of mine out of habit. Every page she bothered to read probably had the whole routine or a reference to it. It actually was a true story. Most my common routines are. Well, it was 80% true at least, lol.

"Yes, it's a true story, but see-"

"Do you tell every girl that she has an eye booger?" she asked, cutting me off.

"Well, not every-"

"What's an AFC?" she asked, but kept cutting me off when I tried to talk.

"Mystery, Alessandro, BradP, Tyler Durden, Toecutter...are these all your fake names, or are they your friends? Do I know them? Jessica told me that your friend told her her nose wiggles too last Saturday. Are one of those him?"

"No, no they're not me. And no, lol, they aren't him either," That bastard, I thought lightheartedly, "Well, I guess...yeah, they're my friends...sort of."

"What does David Shading mean? It says that you David Shaded me in one of your papers." Hahah, I was NOT going to go into that.

"Okay, look, I'm not going to be put on trial. The point is, YOU did something wrong here, not me. You went into my computer. You read my journal. You printed out my personal writings. I'm sorry if you're hurt by all this, but if anyone should be mad here, it's me."

"You're a fucking asshole," she pretty much shouted, shoving the papers to me quickly so that many fell to the floor around us. People we're looking now.

"Sometimes, but the thing is...See, I'm not truly a social person, even though I want to be. The idea of approaching anyone new, guy or girl...that still terrifies me. All I did was find ways to overcome my greatest fear. Some girls would find that cool," I had to try.

"Nope," she said, gathering her things, "You're an asshole. God, why can't I just meet a nice guy?!" she was still really loud.

"You know what, lady?! Maybe I AM an asshole. But that whole 'nice guy' thing? I tried that!" I was a little heated by now, "And you know what it got me? It got me a whole lot of ex-girlfriends giving me comforting explanations for why they were leaving, telling me how I was exactly what they wanted in a husband when they get older, and then leaving for some non nice-guy who was sometimes even a 'friend' of mine. So you know what I figured out about your 'nice guys' (using quotes)?! Your 'dinner-date guys'?! Your 'old fashioned guys'?! They're all full of shit. That's right. Every one of them! You think they don't have an agenda too? Cause they totally do! It's even worse in my opinion. Every thing they do for you, everything they pay for, every compliment they give...it's all some secret ploy. Everything for them is a fucking trade. They do this, so they can get that. They don't fucking care about anything, at least not in the way you think they do. At least here (referring to her and I), we made a genuine connection. And I like you, FB, I really do. You're a cool chick, and I have fun hanging out with you. But don't stand there and feed me that typical 'nice-guy' crap. Cause I WAS one, and as much as I tried to convince myself differently to think that I was somehow more virtuous than my friends or some shit, I ALWAYS had an agenda. Okay, you know what I want you to do? Next time you find a 'nice guy,' you ask him this for me. Ask him if he considers himself an asshole. Ask him if he's ever been a prick to a female. Ask him if he's ever lied to a girl. He'll say no, and then he'll go into how he hates how some guys do this and that to girls, and how he'd NEVER do that. He'll say he's never been an asshole I guarantee it! You know how I know? Because that's what I said way back when too! And to me, the biggest assholes in the world are THOSE GUYS, the guy I used to be. The ones who won't admit that they are, in fact, guilty of all three aforesaid vices. Every single fucking person on this planet has been an asshole to someone for no reason at least once in their life. It's a fact. It's how we all learn, by making mistakes like that. That's why, on all those little fucking questionnaires you take they'll ask, 'have you ever cheated on a test' or 'have you ever stolen something.' Because the researchers know that every paper filled out by someone who put NO for one of those questions is going to be complete Bull Shit, so they throw those papers out. They know that almost every kid finds out that stealing is wrong by actually doing it and then being scolded by Mommy or Daddy. It's a fucking Step-By-Step episode for Christ's sake! So there you go, sweetheart. There's my final gift to you before you leave here. An Asshole test you can use just about anywhere in life. It's the people who do NOT admit to ever being an asshole you ought to worry about. It's the Ultimate Lie. See? They're the biggest dickheads of them all, and the ones you need to avoid most. The 'nice guys'." Though I wasn't yelling, I was speaking loudly and most the restaurant had been listening. Being too much into my rant, I was unaware until finishing. I felt extremely embarrassed.

"He's right, honey. You oughtta write that down." The waitress said, coming out of left field.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he'll do it for me." She snapped. My ex-FB looked me long and hard before giving me her farewell speech which was simply, "Asshole!" grabbed her things and began stomping out of TGI Fridays.

"Yeah, we've covered that." I answered as she left.

The waitress was cool. I knew her. She was actually one of my first number closes way back when. Only a 5 or a 6, but a sweet girl nonetheless. She gave me her number but also told me she had a boyfriend so I never called. I thought there was nothing I could do in that situation at the time.

"Yeah, I've got it," I assured her about the bill as I shoveled the leftover food onto my own plate. I was still embarrassed until looking up to see that HB8.5wife whom I had made EC with earlier was looking at me with almost DDB eyes. Had all this been a DHV? Could this be possible? I wasn't quite sure what ugly truths I may have loudly divulged about myself to the ex-FB. Remember, this is all summarized. Might as well give it a shot though.

I had to piss so headed to the bathroom, but went up through the bar area to get there. I stopped on the way right in front of the two hot older ladies and looked HBwife in the eyes. I then leaned my head to the side and looked quizzically at her left hand. I grabbed it, and inspected her wedding ring from many angles, sort of like I've never seen one before. The wives were smiling, but totally confused. Dropping her hand onto her lap, I held both of my hands right in front of her face in the thumbs-down position while saying, "Booooooooo." She laughed but I made no facial expression, just walked to the bathroom, pissed, and headed back to my table the same direction I had came. They re-opened me as I was passing like I'd hoped.

"So what was all that about anyways?" said my target while kinoing me by gently grabbing my arm.

"Whoa! Hold on, lady. What are you doing? You're married and I don't even know you!" Her friend laughed genuinely. I then turned to direct a question to her friend (seated to her left), so that I could also lean slightly against HBwive with my right side, "Nah, that's a long, boring story, seriously. Hey, do you guys think I look like a Fat version of Paul Walker?"

"Hahah, sort of! I can see it! But you're not fat," her friend consoled me...and kinoed me.

"Really? Cause get this, I was up fishing in Alaska last month, right, and..."

I went on to number close HBwife. It took a little persistence though, and I don't think she's really too interested, but it was a good sarge still, and it got my state back up after that whole ex-FB episode which was the whole point of the approach anyways. It also gave me a chance to practice a couple new routines, which I wanted to type out in this FR as stated above. Still, hopefully you guys can enjoy this regardless.

(Credit - Philos MASF)

Suggested free e-books to read:

Donald Moine - Going For The Gold In The Selling Game
Dating Insider - Guide To Internet Dating
David Jones - The Art Of Internet Dating

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Posted by
loki

Creepy Pickup Guy Definitely Doesnt Attract Women

A surefire way _not_ to attract women? Be creepy pickup guy.

READER QUESTION

Christian, I've been into this pickup stuff for about six months now. I read The Game and bought a DVD product, and I noticed myself changing. I got a little more confident, have had some great successes but I also noticed that I was alienating people.

You seem very natural and, well... you don't seem like a weirdo. In fact, you seem like a guy I'd just want to hang out with. After I got your email about your party, I thought about how I would fit into your social circle and I realized that I am very unconfidant about myself because I'm worried that I've become "creepy pickup guy".

Any thoughts?

-> CHRISTIAN SAYS:

Thanks man, glad I'm "not a weirdo." That's the nicest thing anyone's told me in 2 weeks

In the past, I've occasionally invited "community" people to my parties and I almost always regret it. Creepy Pickup Guy is scarier than any zombie or mummy. So these days, I'm VERY selective about the guys who I let into my life.

The thing is, I really care about the girls in my life. And that's the first step towards being not-creepy guy who is good with women. Do you like women?

When guys get into this stuff, they hear stories about gurus who get laid like rockstars, they read about the shenanigans and the trouble and the fun, and it is very appealing. So they may let their values get out of wack. All the symptoms are rooted in one cause.

Creepy Pickup Guy is Creepy is because he treats women as "targets" and his sole purpose is to attract women.."

This comes across in many ways. He attempts to get a girl's number not because he actually likes her, but because he thinks he should. He tries to build connections where there are none. He's inauthentic. He assumes that every girl he talks to needs to be "gamed". And he hugs WAY TOO DAMN MUCH.

This is so unattractive and creepy. Know why?

It smacks of effort.

Look, an interesting thing happens when guys start studying this stuff. Let's say they were 99% wimp before. They read an eBook and all of a sudden then swing the other way and become 99% tough guy. Still unattractive.

Or let's say that they were very shy and introverted before. The notion of "kino," or playfully touching a girl, was foreign to them. So now they read they should kino, and they start doing it all the time.

And since he was always in the friend zone before, he now pushes too hard with every girl he meets.

Creepy Pickup Guy probably once heard someone tell him that "its always on".

Well, that's not exactly right.

When its "always on," you stop being authentic. Game is called game for a reason - it is a set of superficial techniques and tools meant to help break down social barriers and build attraction. But in chill social situations like a house party, the barriers are already broken down.

Gaming a girl at a house party is like laying seige to a city with no walls or towers.

Shes Not Going To Open Up For Creepy Pickup Guy

A MUCH BETTER mindset is "I'm going to have fun with everyone and see who I get along with." You'll make friends with some of the girls and realize that they're not for you. You'll find sexual chemistry with others. You'll understand *why* you're taking numbers.

I attribute a lot of my social circle success to a very casual attitude, and the mindset that girls I meet in social situations are friends until proven otherwise.

Most of the community people I know, though... I can't trust that they will be respectful to my female friends, that they'll have the sense to turn the game off and just enjoy themselves.

Its ok to be a little bit edgy. But don't be creepy.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Afc Adam Lyons - Principles Of Attraction
Simon Heong - How To Instantly Attract Any Woman
Wayne Ross - The Complete Guide To Attracting Women

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Posted by
loki

Online Dating For The Single 30 Something Woman

Why Wont He Kiss Me

DR. JACKIE BLACKS ANSWER:

Remember, only YOU can make it happen.

Women Who Sleep Around

DAN

AMY

EX BOYFRIEND RETURNS

STEPH

Why Women Pressure Men To Get Married

OR

DONNA FERBER'S ANSWER:

Woman Rigs Husband Power Tools

Fr It Just Got Interesting

(Credit - Philos MASF)

Creepy Pickup Guy Definitely Doesnt Attract Women

READER QUESTION

Any thoughts?

-> CHRISTIAN SAYS:

Shes Not Going To Open Up For Creepy Pickup Guy

Its ok to be a little bit edgy. But don't be creepy.

Follow Me

Popular Posts

Archives

Online Dating For The Single 30 Something Woman

Why Wont He Kiss Me

DR. JACKIE BLACKS ANSWER:

Remember, only YOU can make it happen.

Women Who Sleep Around

DAN

AMY

EX BOYFRIEND RETURNS

STEPH

Why Women Pressure Men To Get Married

OR

DONNA FERBER'S ANSWER:

Woman Rigs Husband Power Tools

Fr It Just Got Interesting

(Credit - Philos MASF)

Creepy Pickup Guy Definitely Doesnt Attract Women

READER QUESTION

Any thoughts? -> CHRISTIAN SAYS:

Shes Not Going To Open Up For Creepy Pickup Guy

Its ok to be a little bit edgy. But don't be creepy.

Follow Me

Popular Posts

Archives

Any thoughts?

-> CHRISTIAN SAYS: