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I told her that I had been with about 6 women before we met (I'm 33), she told me she's been with way more men than that. I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear a number, as I was already feeling a bit turned off to hear the word "way" before "more", but she told me anyway.
She's 27 and has had sex with 38 guys, most of which were one-night stands.
Now I'm not saying I want to date a virgin, but I sure as hell don't want to date a girl who thinks she's a truck stop, either.
In my opinion, a girl who gives her body out with such ease has no respect for herself, so why should I be the one to give her any? She doesn't see anything wrong with having slept with so many men, but I do?
Am I just backwards or old-fashioned in my thinking? Are there other guys out there who agree with my assessment?
Needless to say, I dumped her because I couldn't have sex with her without imagining all those other men she's been with.
DAN
Oh Dan, rest assured you are not alone. Almost every guy I consulted said the same thing, and oftentimes it was about the fact that she placed no value on her body.
On the other hand, there are plenty of women who told me that they, too, have slept around and have plenty of respect for themselves.
I hate to say it, but we live in a time where sex is the new good-night kiss, so I don't think that it's really a matter of self-respect or self-worth. I just think that many women are owning their bodies and their sexuality and having fun before they opt to settle down.
If you can't deal with it, then I suggest you leave her. But think about the last 4 months with her? Were they great? Were you happy?
I suggest you try to figure out what's really bothering you here? Is it that she slept with so many men and you think she doesn't respect herself? Or is it that she slept with plenty more people than you have? Do you have a secret fear that if you don't give it to her enough, that she'll cheat on you because of her promiscuity?
These are the things you need to figure out before you move on to your next relationship. If you move on, that is.
AMY
EX BOYFRIEND RETURNS
When Johnny left me 2 years ago, I was devastated and think I spent two months crying over it. I finally got over it and recently began dating casually.
Well, guess what? Johnny shows up a week ago and starts flirting with me again. Then he tells me that he made a huge mistake and wants to pick up where we left off.
It's easy for me to fall in love with him again - HE WAS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED IN A MAN. He's 32 and I'm 30, and I think he might be the one.
What steps can I take to ensure that he won't want to leave again?
STEPH
Steph, there is no magic solution to keeping a man interested in you. Obviously, nagging and whining and complaining all the time won't help, but you shouldn't feel like you have to put on an act to keep him interested in you.
That's not the way a healthy relationship works.
If you're going to take this guy back but walk on egg shells to keep him, how happy are you really going to be?
It's time you had the long talk with this guy and let him know what you expect and where you stand. No games, no bullsh*t.
If he's not willing to compromise, then move on. You already have, anyway.
Remember, he wants you back, so you were obviously doing something right all along, right?
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Women Who Sleep Around
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