It happens to every PUA, right? You meet some girl at a bar, have a conversation and number close thinking you'll talk to her again in a couple of days. Then you try calling or texting and you find out you've been duped. Even though several female friends have admitted giving guys fake numbers to spare their feelings, I never thought it would happen to me. Of all the numbers closes I've made, I've never had a fake number. Well, it finally happened to me and I've been trying to figure out what led to her giving me a fake number. I understand why I woman would give a guy a fake number, to save them from rejection, but I'd rather have a woman be honest with me. You be the judge. Check out my field report and tell me what you think.
On my first night out of 2011 I went to a local karaoke bar. I wasn't expecting any approachable sets to be there but I went anyways to meet some friends. My assumption was dead on because the bar was filled with middle aged people. After a couple of drinks an old friend shows up with his girlfriend and two of her cousins, one of which was a solid HB8. She was about 5'3", slender, with shoulder length hair and a nice smile. The four of them went across the bar to a table. Later in the night a friend tells me the HB8 wants to meet me and that I should go over and introduce myself.
I had a warm approach on my hands, as opposed to a cold approach. A warm approach is when you meet someone from within your social circle. In this case, the HB8 was related to a friend's girlfriend. I approach the set to wish my friend a happy birthday then opened the HB8. I opened her by asking what she was going to sing. She mentions her disappointment for the bar's lack of Doors songs which led to a drawn out discussion on music. After that we talked about trips she's taken, her background and other meaningless subjects.
Even though the conversation was mediocre, she kept giving me indicators of interest (IOIs). She would reengage me in conversation when I'd chat with my friend. She asked me to sit down and she asked me several of the common getting-to-know-you questions. At one point of the music thread, she asked for my address to send me a compilation CD of her favorite Doors songs. I told her to write it down on her cell phone and she responded by saying she didn't own a cell phone. That should have set off a warning sign but I continued the boring conversation anyways.
After awhile of meaningless chit-chat, I ended the conversation and returned to my friends across the bar. At the end of the night, on her way out she came over to say goodbye and I number closed. A few days later I texted her and never received a response. I called but it just rang without going to a voicemail.
ASSESSMENT:
There are two things that I think contributed to the fake number. First, I didn't set a time constraint. I lingered for far too long after the conversation lost any of its interest. Second, I reverted back to my old ways of boring conversation topics. One of my sticking points is forgetting everything I've learned whenever I meet an attractive woman. This was definitely one of those moments.
What do you think? Could I have done anything different?
Suggested free e-books to read:
Bishop - New Alpha Reports The Black Hole EffectSocial Mastery - Build Comfort And Trust
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