Why Do New Years Resolutions Fail

Why Do New Years Resolutions Fail Image
Ah - this is the time of the year again, when everybody becomes melancholic. Another year past. Time for a new resolution. But stop! Do you remember those resolutions from last year? Did you succeed? If not, read on. May be there is a way to succeed and 2006 will be the year when you follow through on your resolutions.

Statements abound about this day, the 31st of December: "Another year has past. Now it is already 2006/" (no, another couple of hours to go!). "I am getting older, wiser, more matured. Nothing has changed. I will always be the same. Will something ever change?"

Does this sound familiar to you? How come we carry those beliefs? How come some things never change? Oh - this is wrong. This change, but are you a part of it? This sounds better!

Let's see, where we can start?

Let's start with January 1st, 2005. Have you taken a look back at the beginning of 2005? With what kind of goals did you set out to "conquer" this year? Stop smoking? Lose weight? Change job? Fall in love? Get married? Get divorced? Get a better life?

How much have you achieved? How long did the resolution last? Till the end of January? February? When did you give up and why?

Oh, so many questions!

There is however, a way to make those solutions last. Really, believe me! It is easy to just say the sentence "I want to..." (fill in the blanks with whatever your goal is). Things then change already - a tiny little bit. Because, you create awareness in your mind that you want to change, but oh, oh, oh, old habits die hard.

So more is needed. Writing down the goal is another possibility. You need to know that problems cannot be solved, if there is no outcome!

Ah - there it is - your goal. Nicely written. But hey - write it in positive words, since the mind doesn't understand negatively formulated statements.

Don't write: "I want to lose weight" or "I want to stop smoking". Write, for example: "I want to live a healthier and happy life." This may sound funny, but is needed.

What else to do? Well, the easiest way to start is actually to start with the end in mind - sounds like Steven Covey and the 7 Habits, right?

And right he is. Start imagining, as vividly as possible, what will happen with your goal achieved. Really, as vividly as possible. Where do you want to be in the end of 2006, what you want to do, how you will look like with your goal in mind. In which environment do you operate, what behaviours will you exhibit. How you want to be like. See, what kind of capabilities you need to do so. Play a movie in your mind! What kind of person will you be, when you achieved the goal, what is the effect on you, your environment - yeah, think of this as well! If you want this promotion and you finally reached the goal, what will it do to your personal life, to your family? To you? Write it down, if you want. Your very own script!

Another very short example: You want to lose weight? See yourself in the slim body. Go into this body (associate with it - this is important!)! See yourself buying different type of clothes. Hear how people compliment you. Feel great inside. Wow, this can feel good, really.

Now, the harder part is coming. You need to work on the behaviour. Write down, what you need to do - going to the gym, eating lesser and so on. Write a program, month by month - milestones. Write a goal, for every month, how much you want to get your weight down. Don't forget to celebrate yourself - the rewards. What will you get, when you achieved or exceeded your milestones. Be aware that you won't always achieve them, because your body also need adjustment, your mind needs adjustment. That then is the time when you can get back to your script, to your written down goal as well - to reconfirm.

And while you write down those actionsteps, be as specific as possible. Yeah, I know, it is work, but hey - you want to change, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't have read so far down already?

Now, a tougher part. Everything we currently do is a habit, a program, running in our mind. So we eat too much because somehow, we have conditioned us to do so. Like, for example, cigarette smoking. You smoke, because.... you believe it looks cool, makes you confident, makes it easier to approach the opposite sex. Like that. You need to work on this. What else can you do to become more confident, instead of smoking? How else can you approach this beautiful girl over there? These are the substituting capabilities that are needed in order break this habit of smoking, eating and so on. Ask your friends, to help you. Check with your family, as support.

You will need them anyway, because along the year, there will be a time when you want to give up, when nothing moves in the direction, so then you need support (you can also send an e-mail to me, by the way, and we work on it!). And, again, read your script.

Are you ready to go for it? Really? Tell me about it, I would be honoured. Or, otherwise, I see you in December 2006.


(NLP in Asia)




personal change


Suggested free e-books to read:

Daniel Rose - The Sex Revolution Handbook
Amy Waterman - Your Guide To Stronger Relationships

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