Well, yes, this is right. Ask any girl, and they will always tell you that confidence is an incredibly attractive trait in a man. But here's the problem with this statement and why most guys roll their eyes when they hear it
NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU HOW TO BE CONFIDENT!
Most books will give you some artsy-fartsy psychobabble about what you need to do to be more confident, like imagining yourself to be 50 feet tall and shining with power. Other products might tell you to "fake it until you make it" and just try to act confident around women when you're really scared silly deep inside.
The problem with these tactics is that THEY DON'T WORK!
Seriously, you'd be better off watching linoleum peel than try to follow that advice.
The time you spend mentally masturbating as you imagine yourself being really giant and glistening with power is much better spent
doing things that will actually get you results once you open your eyes.
And faking confidence will backfire on you the second you get rejected, and you're going to feel like a fake, a loser, and a complete failure with women. Then you'll spend the next day/week/month beating yourself up and wallowing in self pity.
Both of these tactics are COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE to getting more success with women.
So that brings us back to where we started: How do you become more confident?
Well, there is a way to do it. But it's not simple OR fast acting.
In fact, it's quite hard.
I hesitate to bring it up because it's not something that can be done overnight, so if you're looking for a quick fix, I'm afraid I can't help you. But being confident in yourself is SO IMPORTANT that I can't ignore this topic completely.
In my book, The Art Of Approaching, I devoted an entire SECTION to this topic and teaching you how to truly make a real change and become more confident in yourself. And since I can't fit all of it into this little ecourse, I'll just cover the basics.
First off, I want you to understand that your lack of confidence comes from your current BELIEF SYSTEM.
If you get nervous around women, or rehearse failure or bad things in your mind, it's because you've TRAINED YOURSELF to believe that way.
When we're born, we don't have a set of beliefs pre-installed within us. We are a blank slate! Completely free of any negative
thoughts or beliefs.
But as we grow up, our experiences and our upbringing helps to shape that which we believe about ourselves. Sometimes those
beliefs are correct. Other times, those beliefs are dead wrong.
For instance, let's say the first time you liked a girl in first grade, you tried to kiss her or something, and all the kids made fun of you for "liking a girl." So you were ashamed and suffered through all the teasing.
After that, you became afraid to approach a girl you liked because early on, you learned to associate that shame you felt when those kids ridiculed you with approaching a woman you liked.
See how that works?
That's just one example. There are TONS of different ways we come to accept counter-productive beliefs.
The real trick in fixing this and helping to RE-TRAIN yourself to feel good feelings and be confident is self-examination.
You have to take a good, hard look at who you are and what you believe. Otherwise, you will just keep doing what you've always
done! And if you're reading this email, chances are what you've been doing hasn't been working too well for you!
So here's what I want you to do
Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen, and think about a problem you have. For example:
"I get scared when I see a woman I like and can't talk to them."
Then, analyze your statement and ask:
"Why do I feel that way?"
So let's say you get scared because you think the girl is going to slap you across the face and call you a loser. Write that down on the paper. Then ask yourself:
"Why do I believe that?"
Really THINK about the answer to this question. Maybe when you were younger, you saw your big brother get slapped by a woman and called a loser, so you associated that reaction with approaching a woman.
Write your answer down.
Once you figure out your answer, then ask "Is that something that is logical to believe?"
Chances are, the answer is NO.
Then ask yourself: "What should I believe instead of this?" Then write down your answer. So in this case, let's say you write down that you're going to believe that instead of getting slapped and called a loser, the woman will smile at you and be happy to talk to you.
Now, the next time you see a woman you want to approach, and you feel that fear, you know it's because of that negative belief you got from watching your brother at a young age. Then tell yourself "This woman is going to smile and be happy to talk to me." Say it as many times as it takes. Repeat this belief to yourself over and over until it overtakes the bad belief, and then go talk to the girl!
You'll be really surprised at the results you get from this simple technique.
I could go on for hours on how to build real confidence. This is just the tip of the iceberg. In my book, The Art Of Approaching, I devote chapter after chapter to just the subject of retraining yourself to be more confident so you can not only be more successful with women, but in ALL areas of your life.
I break it down in a simple, step-by-step way, and tell you EXACTLY what you have to do to change all your negative beliefs that are holding you back.
If you want to be more confident with women, and stop experiencing
all those negative emotions, download your copy of my book today
here:
http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/artofapproaching
You can be reading it in minutes and get on your way to taking control of your life today! Think about how much more fun you'll have once you shed all these terrible beliefs that are holding you back from getting what you really want out of life.
Wishing you success with women,
Joseph Matthews
Suggested free e-books to read:
Ron Louis - How To Succeed With WomenFj Shark - How To Be The Jerk Women Love
Juggler - How To Meet And Connect With Women
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