For example, say she RUNS LATE MORE THAN ONCE WHEN YOU FIRST START DATING.
And when I say late, I mean OVER 10 MINUTES. If someone arrives to a date, and is less than 10 minutes late, no big deal. If it is more than 10 minutes...I take note.
Once is excusable. Twice? Not cool...
Most guys don't say a word, fearing upsetting her, and losing her "highly valuable" affection.
Why guys value someone who disrespects them over and over is a chronic problem - something we're going to try to remedy TODAY.
What is really happening here is - she is testing you.
If she had a hair appointment with a highly prestigious stylist...would she be late? Unlikely.
She wants to see, subconsciously, how you are going to react. She wants you to prove to her that you are secure and confident enough to take the lead and set your boundary.
Women feel a level of insecurity that they wish men to satisfy. Healthy women feel a small amount of this. Unhealthy women feel a larger amount of this.
If she tests you once, no problem - that is normal, and healthy.
If it continues, (remember, more than once) - she aint the one...leave her for the chodes in the club.
Biologically, testing is necessary. She is screening you to see if you are "man enough", so to speak to help her feel secure. In my work with guys, I cover this at length, as it is a cornerstone to having mastery with dating and relationships.
THE KEY IS TO HANDLE TESTS LIKE A GENTLEMAN, while delivering a clear message that her lateness is unacceptable. Here is EXACTLY how I handled such a situation recently. I hope it helps you out.
I was awaiting her arrival at the cinema. At 10 minutes past, I got in line for the tickets and purchased my ticket while being sure that I could return it if necessary. At 20 minutes past, I crossed the street and sat in a caf'e, and started making some calls (other women, of course, on the list - I was a bachelor at the time).
She phoned at 25 past, and was out in front of the cinema. Here was our conversation:
She: "I am so sorry Stephen, I got stuck at work late. I am here, where are you?"
Me: "I am across the street in the caf'e, just doing a little work"
She: "Oh, OK, I will be right over"
Me: "Be sure to get your ticket, I have mine - I was afraid they would sell out, and not knowing if you were going to make it, I only purchased one. Go ahead and get your ticket, and I will meet you over there in 5 minutes, gotta pay my bill"
She: "Ok, see you in a minute - again, sorry I was late"
See what I did here? Instead of changing the slightest bit of my schedule, I went forward without her. The plan had been to meet at the cinema, and then go for coffee. So, that's what I did.
Also, because she was late, she now had to furnish her own ticket (this being the second time she was late, I was definitely not paying for anything).
I did all of this without getting angry at all, or having to say a word. (HUGE - don't "waste" energy on negative emotions EVER with women)
And, guess what...she was never late again.
Once you make the wallet pay for the lateness, it seems to stop. I eventually lost interest in her, and her lateness was a major contributor.
I advocate action over words anytime. Why say something if you can indicate it with behavior?
If you can tell her that her lateness is unacceptable by simply behaving with self-respect (continuing my evening with or without her) this is much more powerful than:
"Uh, you know, when you're late, it really upsets me. I feel hurt and slighted.."
This may be true, but it is not a MASCULINE solution to the problem. The masculine solution is to be kind, yes, but to also be autonomous.
So, if she is late, when she arrives you have taken a call and have to make her wait a few moments before you can see her. I have even been known to make/take a fake phone call. Feel free to throw in something like, "It is 5:20pm now, let's talk in a few hours OK?
This shows her that you have carried on with your business and your life.
Making her stand around for a moment or two, feeling the discomfort caused by her lateness is GREAT and works way better than you standing there like the headmaster checking his watch - LAME.
In conclusion, the best way to handle tests from women is to simply sidestep them, they are a small bump along the road of your life.
Keep living make her catch up. If she continually tests you, then you better get stern with her and say something like:
"Let me be honest with you. I like you - OK? But, when you are late, which happens often, I lose attraction for you. Being reliable is high on my list, and I really want this to work out. I tend to lose interest though when issues like this continually surface."
By telling her that you lose attraction for her (which is true, right guys?), the stakes become very high suddenly. Women pride themselves on being attractive to men, and if her behavior is causing that to diminish...well then, you've just found the sweet spot.
Or, just cut her off...she lost her shot at you.
Ultimately, we are all seeking healthy, positive, and productive relationships with people. If someone continually disrespects us by being late, or by behaving immaturely, we have to step back and ask - why am I involved with her in the first place? And, an even better question...why am I even still attracted to her?
Always feel free to walk away. There are single women everywhere who will treat you with respect and who will be on time to see you.
Try this out in real life, and send me any questions or experiences you may have with it. What you experience and discover can be of benefit to us all.
Good luck!
Stephen
P.S. Check out my ebook, How To Get A Girlfriend.
Suggested free e-books to read:
C Kellogg - Top Dating Tips For Weary SinglesMichael Hall - Dealing With The Downside Of Nlp
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