Today's newsletter is a day late because yesterday I was on the plane to Japan all day and I forgot to copy the e-mail I was going to answer so that I could write it on the plane. Sorry about that.
I just spent a week in Hollywood with Style, and I got to see old friends like Mystery, The One, Formhandle, TokyoPUA. I also met the new Stylelife coaches, and they were all cool guys.
Fun times makes me wonder whether I should have stayed in LA.
I'm already a day late, so let's cut today's patter and get to the question:
Hey Tynan,
I have a bad belief. I know it's bad and I'm trying to figure out a way to get rid of it, but in order to do that I have to come up with a new one.
My belief is that since I enjoy being alone that if I walk up to a girl that's alone in a coffee shop, I'm going to be interrupting her alone time and since I don't like being interrupted when I'm alone, she won't like it either.
Does it make sense. Did you ever have this belief? How did you change it?
Thanks.
-AB
Hey AB,
Good question. You're right - it IS a bad belief for two reasons.
1. It will hinder your progress.
2. It isn't accurate.
First, imagine for a second that you're at a coffee shop working. You're working on something very important. A gorgeous girl walks up to you and playfully flirts with you.
How do you feel about that? Are you pissed off that she's bothering you, or are you excited to take a little break from your work?
I like being alone too. Some day soon I'm going to simulate solitary confinement for a couple days because they claim it will make you go insane after just a few days. I think it will be fun.
But still, if an attractive girl interrupts me to talk to me, I'm happy about it.
And why do you think she's at that coffee shop anyway? It's because she's HOPING that someone will interrupt her. Every girl fantasizes about randomly meeting Mr. Right. Now, if your approach is bad she'll SAY that she wants to be left alone, but that's about YOU, not HER.
Which leads me to my main point - you're (subconciously, at least) not really concerned about her. You're insecure about how she'll react to YOU.
So, my advice is twofold:
1. Learn to be attractive. I'm obviously biased, but I think my course is the best way to do it. I just finished a new version for 2008 that covers everything you'll need to know. The 30 day Pickup Lab that's part of it will get you over this issue (and many other issues) within 30 days. AB, I'm going to send you a free copy to get you started.
2. Get out there and DO IT. Approach 40 girls in coffee shops and see how they react. My guess is that it will be better than you think.
It's about 2pm here in Tokyo and I haven't eaten today. They have no street names and Google maps is in Japanese, so it's super hard to actually get to the places that we find on the internet. Wish me luck!
TYNAN
P.S. Send me your question (keep it short so that I don't have to edit it down) to weekly@makeherchaseyou.com. If I use your question next week I'll send you a free copy of my course, Make Her Chase You. The new updated version has more advice, more field reports, and covers way more material than the old version.
Suggested free e-books to read:
Tony Horton - Nutrition Guide Daily JournalDr Peter Davies - Big Picture Of Health
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