Suggested free e-books to read: READER QUESTION
Christian, I've been into this pickup stuff for about six months now. I read The Game and bought a DVD product, and I noticed myself changing. I got a little more confident, have had some great successes but I also noticed that I was alienating people.
You seem very natural and, well... you don't seem like a weirdo. In fact, you seem like a guy I'd just want to hang out with. After I got your email about your party, I thought about how I would fit into your social circle and I realized that I am very unconfidant about myself because I'm worried that I've become "creepy pickup guy".
Any thoughts?
-> CHRISTIAN SAYS:
Thanks man, glad I'm "not a weirdo." That's the nicest thing anyone's told me in 2 weeks
In the past, I've occasionally invited "community" people to my parties and I almost always regret it. Creepy Pickup Guy is scarier than any zombie or mummy. So these days, I'm VERY selective about the guys who I let into my life.
The thing is, I really care about the girls in my life. And that's the first step towards being not-creepy guy who is good with women. Do you like women?
When guys get into this stuff, they hear stories about gurus who get laid like rockstars, they read about the shenanigans and the trouble and the fun, and it is very appealing. So they may let their values get out of wack. All the symptoms are rooted in one cause.
Creepy Pickup Guy is Creepy is because he treats women as "targets" and his sole purpose is to attract women.."
This comes across in many ways. He attempts to get a girl's number not because he actually likes her, but because he thinks he should. He tries to build connections where there are none. He's inauthentic. He assumes that every girl he talks to needs to be "gamed". And he hugs WAY TOO DAMN MUCH.
This is so unattractive and creepy. Know why?
It smacks of effort.
Look, an interesting thing happens when guys start studying this stuff. Let's say they were 99% wimp before. They read an eBook and all of a sudden then swing the other way and become 99% tough guy. Still unattractive.
Or let's say that they were very shy and introverted before. The notion of "kino," or playfully touching a girl, was foreign to them. So now they read they should kino, and they start doing it all the time.
And since he was always in the friend zone before, he now pushes too hard with every girl he meets.
Creepy Pickup Guy probably once heard someone tell him that "its always on".
Well, that's not exactly right.
When its "always on," you stop being authentic. Game is called game for a reason - it is a set of superficial techniques and tools meant to help break down social barriers and build attraction. But in chill social situations like a house party, the barriers are already broken down.
Gaming a girl at a house party is like laying seige to a city with no walls or towers.
Shes Not Going To Open Up For Creepy Pickup Guy
A MUCH BETTER mindset is "I'm going to have fun with everyone and see who I get along with." You'll make friends with some of the girls and realize that they're not for you. You'll find sexual chemistry with others. You'll understand *why* you're taking numbers.
I attribute a lot of my social circle success to a very casual attitude, and the mindset that girls I meet in social situations are friends until proven otherwise.
Most of the community people I know, though... I can't trust that they will be respectful to my female friends, that they'll have the sense to turn the game off and just enjoy themselves.
Its ok to be a little bit edgy. But don't be creepy.
Simon Heong - How To Instantly Attract Any Woman
Wayne Ross - The Complete Guide To Attracting Women
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