I'm Evan. I am a 25-year-old Texas girl and I currently reside in beautiful Austin, TX with the two big loves of my life, my stilettos and my books. I work as a writer and a sex educator, and I am so thankful to have the best job ever. I basically get to talk to guys all day and answer their questions about the ladies, sex, dating, pick up, the ladies, relationships and ladies. I wouldn't describe myself as a PUA, but I do have a committed interest in the art and science of seducing women, mostly because they have less body hair than men and are usually better kissers as well. I'm even hoping to be seduced myself someday
HOW DID A NICE GIRL LIKE YOU GET MIXED UP WITH THE SEDUCTION COMMUNITY?
Good question! I'm a freelance writer. I met Tynan, aka Herbal, and he hired me to write for him at Tynan's Angels (warning: DO NOT visit that site if you're scared to see me in my undies). And so began my foray in the world of professional seducers. My knowledge of pickup as a science prior to becoming an Angel was peripheral, but my interest in pulling has always been keen. I'm a huge fan of the ladies (as well as the occasional guy), and sex and dating are occupational necessities. Pick up was instantly fascinating and addictive.
When I met Ty, I was hopelessly naive and had to educate myself quickly. I signed up for every mailing list you can imagine, perused the major forums, subscribed to blogs and of course read The Game. Within a few weeks, I had immersed myself entirely and just soaked up all of the information I could get my hands on.
I'm a card carrying feminist and I had to take my time working through the ethical concerns I had. On a very large scale, the battle of the sexes was devolving into a messy jumble of manipulation and women were not on the winning end. There were so many questions on my mind. Is seduction manipulative by definition? Was I helping or hindering women by participating, even on an intellectual level, in an industry full of people who perhaps weren't acting in the best interest of females everywhere? And more to the point, was it wrong that I liked it all so much?
WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?
I began to realize that, at its best, pick up is about giving women what they really want. It isn't about coercing an unwilling victim into bed. It's about tapping into women's real desires and letting that knowledge inform your interactions in a natural way. As a culture, our fundamental understanding of the dynamics between men and women is evolving all the time, and allowing that evolution to occur with greater insight and education benefits everyone. At its worst, the community is still an outlet for misogyny and bitterness, but only a small percentage of the men I've met really hold on to those beliefs. Most guys absolutely love women, and I've grown to appreciate the men who take the time to use pick up as part of the overall self-improvement package.
Meeting and becoming close to some truly amazing guys in the community also changed my perception. Tynan (sorry, Herbal), Magnus, Donovan (adore you) and several others have been so honest, perceptive, smart and cool that I was quickly convinced: sometimes PUAs are just better. There is something so respectable and admirable about a guy who is secure enough to admit that they need some help finding and wooing the women of their dreams and that they're willing to invest a lot in making their lives and relation ships better.
I had spent my teen years feeling profoundly frustrated with the conflicted messages I had received growing up about female sexuality. I was bursting at the seams with unexpressed sexual energy and really wanted to feel fulfilled, but guys treated me like they had been raised to treat 'nice girls'. Basically, I was dying to meet someone who recognized that I actually liked sex. As an adult, I was happy to date women exclusively to get the things I really wanted. It was amazing finally meeting men who knew the truth: that I probably want sex more than they do.
WHAT COUNTER-INTUITIVE METHODS HAVE WORKED WELL FOR YOU?
Learning to view attraction as a series of psychological and behavioral cues rather than seeing it exclusively as chance, chemistry or compatibility was a huge stride for me. I've realized that I can go through essentially the same steps in any interaction with a girl and end up with a similar result, even if she's 'straight'. Most girls are so overwhelmed by feeling inexplicably attracted to another woman that they are more than happy to tread all over their internalized taboos--it just makes the idea of being seduced that much more exciting for them. Before I would have felt out of place pulling a girl who was new to girls, but now it's just extremely fun.
HOW DOES THAT APPLY TO GUYS IN THE FIELD?
If I can get a straight girl to give me her number, I know men can too. Oftentimes I'm not only going through the process of approaching and attracting a girl, I'm also having to subtly plant the idea in her head that switching teams would be a fun idea.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOURE NOT WORKING?
Work sometimes feels like play, but I do love to relax. I read obsessively, travel and throw a lot of dinner parties. I drink champagne and eat chocolate almost every day. I'm a really good vegan chef as well and I get together with my family as often as possible to enjoy wine and dinner. The most seductive thing on the planet is a person who exudes happiness and who lives an interesting life. I try hard to exemplify those ideals.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO GUYS WHO ARE TRYING TO IMPROVE THEIR GAME?
It's very simple: if you don't already, learn to genuinely love and appreciate women. You can learn every routine in the book, go to every boot camp and seminar available and spend endless nights and days in the field, but if you don't really adore and admire the girls you target, it's a pointless and empty chase. Plus, when you genuinely like and appreciate other people it makes it easy to like yourself.
I've read a lot on community sites and message boards about the reasons why women are inherently less trustworthy than men, or the reasons why it's a guy's birthright to be dominant, to be 'the man', to reclaim that maleness and live out his evolutionary destiny and be loved long time by hot girls. This is a horribly flawed argument on a number of levels and it doesn't bring guys who lack prowess with the girlies any closer to being happy. It only sends out a conflicted message, telling guys, "women kind of suck, but give us all your time, energy and money so you can learn how to make them like you."
Any kind of negativity is the worst thing to focus on when you're trying to improve your game. Go out, work on meeting girls, try EVERYTHING, especially if it seems crazy, and have fun. When you're not practicing meeting pretty ladies, work on yourself. Visualize the things you genuinely want and work through anything (negative feelings or beliefs) that blocks you from feeling like you deserve to have the life you desire and achieve your most outrageous dreams. Become the guy you really want to be, and don't be scared to give yourself permission to be unreasonably happy with your self and your life. A natural affection for women and the world at large will result, and you will be incredibly magnetic, the best version of yourself.
The next thing guys have got to learn is how to flirt! So many PUAs mask their discomfort by being too cocky or robotic. You have the ability to interact in a fun, flirtatious way with anyone you meet. Seriously, try breaking the ice by winking at every store clerk, waitress and girl on the street, whoever you see in passing in your daily life. They will almost always smile at you without even thinking about it. Grin back! I know it sounds too simple, but guys who are cheeky and flirty for no good reason are automatically attractive because they're unafraid and are obviously having a good time. Small successes in low-pressure situations will bolster your confidence and make each subsequent approach that much easier.
ANY SEX ADVICE YOUD LIKE TO SHARE?
Do your research!
If there is ANY doubt in your mind, Google it and get an anatomy lesson. You'd be amazed how many sexually 'experienced' guys are still fuzzy on the finer points of the female body. Also, remember that no two women are the same. I've read a few of the sex manuals sold widely throughout the community, and while they have some great information, they make the mistake of assuming women are all wired one way and have a single set of desires.
Take that stuff as a general guide, not as gospel truth. The only way to know what a woman likes, both physically and psychologically, is to communicate with her. The ladies and the gentlemen don't quite speak one another's language 100% of the time, and that means that in addition to having her tell you, you also need her to show you. That means creating a space that is both safe and exciting, and it also means starting your seduction with her mind and her emotions before moving on to the physical. Never, ever underestimate the amazing power of the mind-body connection.
If you want a woman to be stay interested and be faithful, keep her satisfied in bed. It's that simple.
WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS NOW WITHIN THE COMMUNITY, AND IN LIFE?
I love watching my friends who are actively involved in the commercial end of things succeeding wildly and living the lives they want. I've been writing with greater success than I ever thought possible and have been doing a lot of one-on-one consulting with guys and couples seeking to improve their sex lives.
I'm mostly concerned, on a more personal level, with taking extra good care of the people in my life and encouraging them to become more authentically themselves. I'm constantly amazed at the high quality people who come into my life and feel really fortunate and happy. Also, if anyone can show me how to make healthy wholegrain vegan pie crust that is actually flaky, I'll love you forever.
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