Establishing Online Dating Relationships Safety First

Establishing Online Dating Relationships Safety First Cover
Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.

Protect Yourself

Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.

Protect Your Computer

Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):

Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm
Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus

1. Set up very specific guidelines if you are going to allow your children to have accounts on social networking sites like MySpace, Facebook and Twitter. Be sure you have access to their account so you can monitor what they are posting and saying online. It is also a good idea to become their friend so you can actually monitor how and who they are interacting with. And remember, once it is posted it lives forever on the Internet-there is no delete or un-do. A public university denied a woman a teaching degree because of a photo she posted on her MySpace with the caption “drunken pirate”. (The Wired Campus, 2008)
2. Place the computer in a well-trafficked area in the home where the whole family can use it. While this practice can help with younger children parents need to also realize that kids today access the Internet in so many ways. While keeping the family computer in a central area helps, it is not a total solution. The reality is that kids can go online almost anywhere: school, library, coffee shop, work or a friend’s house. They have devices such as cell phones, smart phones, consoles like X box and Play Station that can all connect to the Internet.
3. Never, for any reason, agree to meet someone face to face that you met online. Unless your parents are aware of the meeting and plan on going with you, this could be potentially very dangerous. Even if your parents are with you the meeting should take place in a public area. You simply just don’t know who you are talking to online. Over the course of two years, MySpace kicked 90,000 known registered sex offenders off its website. (Schonfeld, 2009)
4. Never give out personal information online. This includes things like,address, telephone number, the name or location of their school, or their parents' names. You also need to be careful of any photos that you might post. A simple picture of you, in a cheerleading uniform, standing in front of your house could provide enough information for a stranger to physically locate you. Online predators have ways to innocently ask simple questions over a period of time that gives them enough information to know who you are and where you live.
5. Make sure you have access to your child’s email password. Very little information is required to set up an email account with services like Google or Yahoo. Basically you provide a name, age and a password and you can quickly and easily set up a free email account. If your child has additional email accounts they may be conversing with people they don’t want you to know about. A 14 year old girl from Canada reported, “I was online in a chat room and this guy was sexually harassing me by saying stuff to me and he wouldn't leave me alone. i had to exit the chat room and shut down my email account so he couldn’t bother me”. (
6. Make sure your kids know to tell you about anything online that makes them uncomfortable. Most kids who suffer or experience cyberbullying do not tell their parents as they are afraid they will lose their online privileges. They also do not report unwanted email or spam with sexually explicit materials.
7. Be sure to talk to your kids about cyber bullying. Four out of 10 kids have been bullied online and five out of 10 have said mean things about others online. Cyber bullying continues to grow and the ultimate bade result can be bullycide or suicide. Also, most kids who suffer or experience cyberbullying do not tell their parents as they are afraid they will lose their online privileges. After being bullied and tormented, 13 year old Megan Meir hanged herself. While it was thought that a teenaged boy was sendingin her messages on MySpace, it was actually a classmate’s mother who fabricated the profile and bullied 13 year of Meir.
8. Did you realize that there is no way to verify your age online? Porn sites, gambling sites, alcohol and tobacco and drug sites simply ask if you are 18 when you sign up. All anyone has to do is to check a box, agree that you are 18, and you are allowed to set up an account and view the site. In January 2009 a Supreme Court decision took “online age verification” off the table as a requirement for Children Online Protection Act. So when it comes to the Internet we are pretty much stuck with trusting kids and adults to give their correct age.

So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!

Extravagant First Date Ideas:

- Eat in. Hire a top chef and waiting staff to prepare a meal and evening that your date won't soon forget.
- Helicopter ride. Go for a flight over the city in a helicopter.
- Become a Vegas Whale. Dress up to the nines and go blow a fortune in a top casino.
- Fly her to Paris and back. Take in all the sights that Paris has to offer. Finish the date with an expensive meal in one of the swanky restaurants in Paris.
- Climb to the top of the world. Go mounting climbing on a clear summer’s day. Don’t forget the flag for when you reach the top.
- Parachute jump. Take to the sky for the high of a lifetime. This is cannot be a surprise date unless you are sure this is what they want.
- Parasailing. Take to the sea, have lunch, then the sky's the limit.
- Go swimming with dolphins. This has to be the ultimate experience of a lifetime and if you aim to impress, this is the way to do it.

Suggested ebooks:

Laurie Weiss - 24 Tips For Having A Great Relationship
Brian Caniglia - Online Dating Secrets

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