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Why Guys Dont Get Second Dates

If you have been on myriad first dates but never got lucky enough to land date #2, then there's probably something up. And it's probably you.

More often than not, guys tend to commit these little dating crimes that, on a first date, will render you into the "do not make that mistake again" zone with women.

So if you find yourself wanting a second date, but get ignored till you go away by the women you date, perhaps you might be doing the following. So knock it off and maybe you'll get past the first date and make it into the second one.

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

1- YOU WERE CHEAP

While it's great that you believe in equality for women, the truth is that most, if not all, women expect you to PAY ON THE FIRST DATE. And if you're going to bitch and whine about how expensive the restaurant was, then perhaps you should choose a more reasonably priced place.

The point is that women view CHEAP MEN in a very negative fashion because it not only says that you don't like to spend money - it also indicated that you may be cheap in other departments of your life.

You pay on the first date, even if she offers, say no, and pay the entire check. And if you don't want to spend too much money, then perhaps your first date should take place at a caf'e.

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

2- YOU GOT DRUNK

Oh Lord, this is the mother of all f*ck ups. What the hell were you thinking getting wasted and getting all kinds of stupid? Hell, even on a tenth date, that wouldn't be acceptable.

A man who cannot handle his liquor is a man that no woman really wants to be around. No matter how good you might think you are at maintaining a healthy demeanor when you drink, you still look like a fool to some extent.

Drink slowly, eat your food, and enjoy a good conversation. And if you just drink out of habit and not because it's alcohol, then order a bottle of water to go with.

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

3- YOU TRIED TO GET HER DRUNK

Not only is this a major turn off, it's also pretty cowardly. I've been on a couple of dates where the guy kept filling my wine glass and urging me to drink more. Why? Why does my having a buzz titillate you so much?

Not only will you make her nervous if you keep insisting that she drink more, you will likely never see her again because she'll think of you as the creepy guy who thinks she'll be a sure thing if she's wasted.

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

4- YOU WERE TOO INTERESTED

It's great that you think she's beautiful and you're ideal kind of woman, but if you say it more than twice, she'll be turned off.

Also, if you make any mention of the future, marriage or children, she will run in the other direction because #1) this is a first date, #2) that kind of freaky conversation is reserved for the crazily desperate.

Keep the conversation light and interesting, and don't delve into anything that remotely resembles a commitment beyond a second date.

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

5- YOU GOT TOO SEXUAL

Okay, so maybe she did wear a really low-cut blouse on the date and you can't help but get sucked into staring at her chest, but please, please don't start treating everything that goes on around you as though it's part of a sexual theme.

Even if you think she seems like the one-night stand type or you think this is going nowhere anyway, don't jump into sex talk with her or say anything about the way she sucks on her straw - it's just not cool.

If she starts the sex banter and you're all into it, by all means, go for it, but don't take off into sexy times first.

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

6- YOU ASKED RIDICULOUSLY PERSONAL QUESTIONS

How many men have you slept with? Do you shave, wax or laser your pubic area? Do you think I'm very good-looking or only so-so? Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? Stop it! Stop it now.

This is not the time to start delving into the deeply personal life of the woman sitting across from you. This is a time to get to know her on a superficial level, if you will. Find out what her interests are, not how many times she had sex in a car.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Rob J - How To Get Woman Laid In A Day Or Less
Gabrielle Moore - The G Spot Code.pdf

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Did Women Kill Chivalry

Every day I hear at least one woman complaining that men just aren't chivalrous anymore, and College Candy writer Hannah backs that up whole heartedly.

But the real question remains: Why is chivalry dead?

A wise man once told me that" LIBERATION LIBERATED "and more and more I discover that that is so incredibly true.

Women no longer get doors opened for them, no longer get asked out on dates and no longer get handed a man's jacket when they feel cold. No, instead it's a door slammed in the face, a booty call at 2 am and coming down with a cold for being too stupid to bring a sweater along.

Why? Are men so daft that they don't realize that we want their chivalry? Or are women so damn burnt that we ended up destroying the very thing that made us want to be ladies?

I, for one, love BEING TREATED LIKE A LADY and always treat a man with the utmost respect in order to be treated as such. But too often, I see women trying to act tough and behaving like frat boys, having sex with random men and getting medieval on any man who tries to be a gentleman, and so yeah, I get why guys stopped doing all the wonderful gentlemanly things that so many women long for.

So if women want chivalry to rise from the dead once again, they have to start acting like ladies. After all, why would a man want to be a gentleman if there are no ladies around to benefit from it?

Suggested free e-books to read:

Joan Rolson - Women Faq
Martin Merill - Make Women Laugh
Don Diebel - Succeed With Women Newsletter Archive

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Christian Hudson Talking About His New Product And What Happened With Juggler

CHRISTIAN LONG TIME SINCE WE HEARD FROM YOU LAST. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

Hey Donovan, cool to see your site on a new domain finally! Yeah, I dropped out for awhile. It's been a crazy eight months or so; I moved to New York, Charisma Arts and I parted ways, helped get another startup in the beverage space off the ground, and am now doing this Hidden Mic Pickups thing. There's been a lot of partying, some amazing women, and a lot of growth in there too.

WE ALL WANT TO KNOW - WHAT HAPPENED WITH CHARISMA ARTS?

Without going into specifics, the relationship just wasn't working out. But I have respect for what they teach and I think the guys who work there are amazing. The Juggler Method is a powerful thing, and it was fun to help take that company from two guys in a coffee shop into the worldwide success that it is today.

COOL, SO BACK TO YOU SOMEHOW I FEEL LIKE THE PERSONAL GROWTH AND THE WOMEN MIGHT BE RELATED.

And you'd be right, mostly. I mean, New York is a tough town - everyone here is good at things. So if you don't bring your "A" game, whether it be to work, dating, partying, networking, or anything else that involves people coming together, you're toast.

Quick story - I got professionally connected to a woman here by a close friend, and I didn't have much context about who she was. It turns out that she comes from one of the wealthiest families in town; Andy Warhol had been her debutante's ball date. So I come into her office, slightly casual vibe based on the strength of my friend's connection to her, and she sits me down and says "Why are you here?" I stammered a little bit and she said "Not good enough kid - you've got fifteen seconds to tell me why we should keep talking." I ended up getting about five minutes of her time.

Those sorts of things occur only every now and then, but more generally, a lot of my growth has been focused on being a stronger man. Its much harder to be a good boyfriend and a strong man in general than it is to be a guy who is good at meeting women. A woman - and I'm thinking a real woman, like the wife of King Leonides in the movie 300 - has an intuition about a man's strength, heart and truth. Even if he's fooling himself, he can't fool her. I've confronted some truths about who I am and what I want, and it took a real woman to make me do that.

ARE THERE ANY SPECIFICS THAT HAVE HELPED YOU OUT?

Well, I didn't walk away from my relationship from last summer soon enough, and it cost us both a potential friendship. It forced me to develop some standards for what I will and won't accept in a relationship. It's funny - you know, within the first three or four times of dating or spending time with someone, if it's going to work out. If you get a bad intuition, or there are obvious red flags, it's your choice about how long you want to delay the inevitable and how much pain you want to go through. Big, big lesson.

More recently, one of the girls I've been together with on and off here is one of the top models in the world. You wouldn't believe the social pressures she faces - everyone wants her to be around, everyone wants to have access to her world, but there is a lot of disingenuousness surrounding her. Dealing with this has required patience, maturity and support. You learn what it means to be the bigger man. I've also learned to appreciate "feminine" things that in the past would have annoyed me, but which I now see as part of the yin and yang of male : female relations.

SO ARE YOU STILL DOING PICK UP?

You know, I never thought that I did pick-up, per se. I had a chance to meet with Stephen Nash when I was out here, and we both concur that the skills you need to have a great girlfriend and a healthy relationship are very different than the skills you need for pickup. I think every guy should read his stuff and Deida's work first, then start to work on their interaction skills.

With that said, I'm always meeting new people. Sometimes you get a number if you connect with someone... and I think that social skills and conversation skills are essential for having quality people in your life. When you have the right vibe and energy, you attract great people.

HAVING A POSITIVE ENERGY AND VIBE SPEAKING OF WHICH, TELL ME ABOUT MASTER THE VIBE.

I'm so excited about this Donovan. Hidden Mic Pickups is a monthly audio series that features live, flirtatious interactions between women, and guys with great social skills. I remember when I was 21 and trying to get my social and dating life on track, I kept thinking to myself "I just wish I could hear someone else do it." Seven years later now, and there's still no one doing that.

SO IS THE PRODUCT EXCLUSIVELY PICK UPS?

Well we're meeting women everywhere. House parties, clubs, book launch events... so sometimes you'll hear a true "pick up" - a guy who walks up to a girl with the intention of getting her number. Other times, well... there's a clip we have from our friend Haresh, who was at a Mexican restaurant meeting friends for after-work Margaritas. One of Haresh's friends' friends brings a girl. So you hear how they connect, and how he sort of isolates her from the group, and this really daring way that he gets sets their next meetup.

We're trying to cover the spectrum of what guys struggle with, and what we've personally struggled with. There are going to be months where we feature lots of interactions that cut off after the first three minutes, and I've got one interaction that is about an hour long, so that will be it for the month. Whatever the case, all the audio we picked is targeted to solve a particular problem.

HOWS THIS DIFFERENT FROM SOME OF THE AMATEUR HIDDEN MIC STUFF IVE HEARD?

For one thing, we use really good recording technology, so you actually hear what people are saying and you don't have to suffer through lots of hiss and wind noise and jostling and all that. Of course, we have guys who are at the top of their game doing it too, so you're not going to hear something that is flatly wrong and then try to emulate it.

Then we're explaining why this stuff works. This is critical, because if I'm listening to this, I don't want to just hear a guy meet women, I want to be able to do it myself with my own personality and my own stories and my own energy. Extracting the theory behind why something works is critical.

IS THERE A PARTICULAR STYLE YOURE USING? YOU WERE ONE OF THE FOUNDERS OF CHARISMA ARTS, AND YOURE WORKING WITH SEBASTIAN FROM THEAPPROACH. BOTH COMPANIES ARE KNOWN FOR NATURAL GAME.

Sebastian and I both have direct styles of interaction; he's a lot lower-key than I am, but we're both pretty direct.

With that said, we're working with some great guys who are talented in a lot of different styles of interaction. Someone who wants to learn indirect, Mystery-style interaction skills will hear that, and someone who's shy and laid back will also hear our friend who makes that work for himself.

ARE THERE ANY THINGS YOUVE LEARNED FROM GOING THROUGH THIS PROCESS?

Absolutely! There's one huge thing that stands out to me... that's the pacing at which these interactions move. I know that when I'm talking to people, it feels like things are moving very fast. But in fact, unless you're running a routine or completely know where you're going, conversations move slowly. That's the point - you're getting to know the other person, and taking in their vibe, not just blasting through the interaction. Its more Gears of War (stop and pop) than it is Halo (run and gun).

I didn't realize until I mic'd myself up how many little pauses there are, how things can get misinterpreted, and how there can be up to 15 seconds of dead space. I started paying attention to this during some business meetings too. And what you learn is that both personally and professionally, it is very unnatural to have a twenty to sixty minute conversation where it's like click click click and everything moves perfectly.

Ahh, other than that... I've loved seeing how different people make different things work. I have to tell you - Sebastian's interactions are very low on flirtatiousness and tricks, but he's smooth, has a great energy, and does a few key things that make the girls stick around. Its been great for me and since I'm the one who breaks down and narrates each interaction, I've had to pick out a lot of things I've never done before myself. Its been a great learning experience.

IT SOUNDS GREAT. SO WHATS NEXT FOR YOU?

Sebastian and I are working to get Master the Vibe nailed down - making sure the sound quality keeps getting better and better, making sure that customer support is A
, and making sure that people are getting value out of the product. We're having fun with it and we're going to have lots of little surprises in the future. I am also starting another business in technology right now - very early stage but very exciting. Other than that getting back into tennis this summer. If you know any New Yorkers who want to play, let me know!

UPDATE: Christian has since left Master The Vibe and has released Hidden Mic Pickups.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Love Systems - The Ultimate Guide To Text And Phone Game
Asf - Fast Seduction Mailing List Energy And Attraction
Kevin Hogan - Communication Relationships Nlp Hypnosis And Other Atricles

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Social Improvement Tips From Neil Strauss

As you settle back into the dorms and sift through syllabi while searching for drink specials from the local pub, you also should put in some time improving your social life. The fall is a great time to lay a solid foundation of dating success on campus. To provide some tips on turbocharging your dating life, we turned to Neil Strauss, author of the international bestseller The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists and founder of the Stylelife Academy.

Be Adventurous

The first thing you need to realize about improving your dating life is that some techniques may seem unusual or even a bit uncomfortable at first.

“Your goal is to understand attraction and social dynamics,” Strauss says. “Often the things we’ve been taught by our parents, teachers, and friends fail us here. And logic and attraction, unfortunately, have nothing to do with each other. Attraction is often counterintuitive. When I was learning the game, I did some embarrassing things that seemed ridiculous to me, but they actually worked.”

The key is being willing to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. If you spend all your time in the computer lab, try going to the hippest club in town. If you’re the stereotype of the frat boy party animal, take a chance on a poetry reading. And make sure you talk to people as soon as you arrive, instead of standing alone in the corner. Don’t let a few uncomfortable moments stop you from trying something new. It’s the only way you’ll learn and grow.

Be the Social Center

The second thing is that you should understand that you can improve your dating success. Many of the factors that influence your skill with women are under your control.

“Guys need to understand that looks are not as important as we think they are,” Strauss says. “Women are more attracted to status than looks. And that status is not about money or fame. It’s about a set of behaviors. For starters, it’s about being perceived as the social center of the room. And making sure you don’t come across as needy or supplicating or reaction-seeking around a woman you’re attracted to.”

Be sure to understand that being the social center of the room can have many interpretations, depending on your group of friends and the nature of the room. It doesn’t mean you have to be the drunkard dancing on the bar wearing a pitcher of beer as a hat. If it’s a quiet dinner party, then you should make sure everyone has a good time. If it’s a debate team happy hour, then you should influence the conversation and ensure there are no lulls. In short, being the social center means you strive to make sure everyone, male or female, has a good time in your presence, whatever the setting.

Be Exceptional

The third thing you should do to improve your social life is strive to be the exception. Always be interesting. If everyone other male in the bar is blabbering about fantasy football and how drunk they got last night, then you should talk to women about astrology, whether magic spells are real or psychological, or even the latest fashion displayed on Gossip Girl. Just remember to be different.

“Make yourself more interesting by learning things like handwriting analysis. You can look at her notes in class and say, ‘Oh God, you’re trouble.’ When she asks why, explain it’s because of the large loops in her letters. When she asks for more, tell her, with a smile, you’d like to tell her more, but you don’t trust large-loop people. This is just a random example, but the idea is to learn a skill, and then use that skill as a way to teach someone about themselves and, in the process, display your charming personality.”

Another key way of being the exception is probably the most counterintuitive thing you can do. Conventional wisdom instructs men to plant seeds about how well-matched they are with a woman. “You like sushi?” guys will exclaim. “So do I! That’s awesome. We should totally get sushi sometime.”

The problem with this is that every man does it. So to be the exception, you must go in the opposite direction. Instead of telling her why you would be great together, you should tell her teasingly why it would never work.

“You’re really cool, and normally I would be totally into a girl like you,” you can say. “Too bad I don’t date English majors.” Say this with a bit of a smile, so you don’t come across as rude or dismissive. Or, you could say, “My mother told me to stay away from girls like you.” The key here is that you’re the one guy in the joint who hasn’t approached her on bended knee with visions of your great life together. That makes you the exception. That makes you interesting.

Miscellaneous Tips

Finally, here are a few random tips.

Remember to be non-reaction seeking. Approach a woman because you genuinely like to interact with people and have a good time, not because you want her number. When you approach, your goal is to start an interesting conversation, not instantly whisk her away to a romantic private island.

Pretend that you’re hosting a party wherever you are. Your job is to interact with everyone and ensure they are having fun. This means interacting with men as well. Other guys in the area are not to be feared or showed up. Be cool to them, have fun, show them respect. And instead of being your competition, you can even enlist them in helping you get the girl.

Don’t wait until a woman is alone to say hello. “Most guys won’t approach women if they’re with men,” Strauss says. “But most of the time, those women aren’t even dating the guys they’re with and they end up going all night without other men talking to them. Instead, approach the group and pay attention to everyone there. Respect the men and don’t ignore the friends while you attract the woman who interests you. If you win over her friends, you win her.”

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tyler Durden - Silly Routines For Silly Chicks
Elena Petrova - Scam Prevention Tips For Online Dating

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Cheating With Virtual Girlfriends

Is it really cheating if the woman isn't even real?

KOH and YURIE moved to San Francisco from Tokyo a year ago. But in September 2009, while he was on a business trip back home, Koh decided to buy a virtual dating game called LOVE PLUS for his NINTENDO DS. You know, just for fun.

Having tried other dating games in the past, KOH figured this would be just like the rest. But boy was he ever wrong. He fell hook line and sinker for RINKO, a pouty, hard-ass high school girl who hung out at the library.

At first she treated him coldly and wouldn't really acknowledge him all that much, but soon she became incredibly affectionate and began taking up more and more of his time.

And while KOH's girlfriend seems incredibly understanding about the whole thing (well, KOH did only play it for a week - or so he says), there are women out there who are tripping out over losing their husbands to virtual women.

But really, is it cheating? I think I can call it many things, but cheating isn't one of them.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Adam Gilad - Interview With Dr Paul Dobransky
Kate Ludeman - Coaching The Alpha Male

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What Kind Women Should Be Avoided While Dating On Sites

It's not necessary that ever website might focus on the dating aspects of men and provide the details of whom to avoid. Nor do we. We are here to provide you with further information regarding the types of women you should avoid while dating online.

Firstly you should be aware that no women acquire onto dating website for friendship. They just want to marry. But if she specifies that she is only looking for a friend, than wait a second, might be she is just planning to hook up with someone.

You might found many women's who posts their snaps climbing in some majestic valley and posses to be a kind of extrovert type of women. But, is she really that type. Capture a closer look of their snaps you will found lots of makeup.

One can also find lots of women listing some kind of typical man things in their profile. She loves outdoor games, playing football and even gun shows. So, these are some sort of women whom you really have to avoid before dating. But, of course there are some male too whom are to be avoided.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Olga Lebekova - Top 10 Mistakes Men Make While Dating Russian Women
Rob J - How To Get Woman Laid In A Day Or Less

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What You Must Know Before Dating Women Personally

While dating women, no one knows what to expect. Men always accept it as a challenge but it's not as difficult as people pretend. Every woman is different and got unique way of thinking. But sometimes their behavior comes as a surprise package in a particular situation. Women are completely moody when it comes to know about their choices and reaction.

Men have to be very smart while dating women; you never know or expect the next reaction of women. You will find some women keep complaining and cry a lot. Some women feel really shy while talking and hardly speak in front of unknown people. But if you know how to handle women then dating women can be the amazing experience for you, as women love their independence.

Dating women is very complicated too; most women want to get married as soon as possible. Don't be surprised, if any of them propose you for marriage on the first date. On the other hand, you will find women who are not interested in marriage at all. It is always advisable to go slow and try to understand the nature and thinking of woman.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Stylelife Academy - How To Work The Personals
Olga Lebekova - Top 5 Tips For Meeting Russian Women Online

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Jewish Man Gets Record 11th Divorce

A 50-year-old Jewish man living in Jerusalem has been granted his 11th divorce, which is a record, according to a Rabbinical court.

The unidentified man decided to split from his 11th wife after she complained that he was unemployed and living off her income. The Jewish man claims that he's been getting married and divorced about every two years or so.

According to the Rabbinical court administration, the Jewish man is persuasive in courting and seducing the women, but once they get married, his courting stops, the women get annoyed and the fighting begin.

Before the women know it, he's dragging them to divorce court.

According to the Jewish Casanova, he has no problems getting women; "I send out a hook in all directions, and the fish come on their own." Wow, sexy.

The previous record for the most divorces by a Jewish Israeli was seven. This man has blown that record out of the water. And I'm pretty sure there's more to come.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Ken Lingu - Erotic Massage For Women
Philip Redhead - Best Places For First Dates

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Why Guys Dont Get Second Dates

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

WHY YOU DIDNT GET A SECOND DATE

Did Women Kill Chivalry

Christian Hudson Talking About His New Product And What Happened With Juggler

Social Improvement Tips From Neil Strauss

Be Adventurous

Be the Social Center

Be Exceptional

Miscellaneous Tips

Cheating With Virtual Girlfriends

What Kind Women Should Be Avoided While Dating On Sites

What You Must Know Before Dating Women Personally

Jewish Man Gets Record 11th Divorce

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