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I GREW UP IN A SUBURB 20 MINUTES NORTH OF BOSTON, WENT TO U OF M, LIVED IN JAPAN FOR ONE YEAR, THEN NYC ONE YEAR, THEN BACK TO BOSTON, THEN IN 2003 MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD.
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CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT YOU'RE DATING LIFE WAS LIKE BEFORE YOU FELT YOU FINALLY BECAME SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN?
Living in Boston, I didn't meet many women who seemed that exciting to me. And when I met ones I liked, I didn't have much chance of attracting them. I felt unsure about how to act.
DID YOU EVER HAVE AN EXPERIENCE A THOUGHT WHERE YOU REALIZED TO YOURSELF, "I CAN DO BETTER THAN WHAT I HAVE NOW", WAS THERE ANYTHING THAT PROMPTED IT AND WHAT DID YOU DECIDE ON DOING?
YOU ARE TAPPING INTO MY MEGALOMANIAC SIDE, BUT I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT I WOULD BECOME MUCH MORE SUCCESSFUL AND WOULD EVENTUALLY FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THE HOTTEST GIRLS IN THE WORLD. THUS, I WAS NEVER SATISFIED WITH MEDIOCRITY.
CAN YOU EXPLAIN YOUR DATING OPTIONS WITH WOMEN?
First of all, my main objective is to first become friends with a girl I like. If I see a new girl I like, I am not immediately trying to just have sex. My goal is to get her into my posse. I just want her to be one of the many girls I hang out with. I am frequently in a situation where I am the center of attention in setting where there are more women than men. Everyone meets at my house, we go out in my limo, I get everyone into the party, then we come back at the end of the night to my house.
Partying with hot girls however is very different than dating a hot girl. Most of my pics show girls that are just party friends. Even though I may actually hook up with many of them, we are not really dating. If I actually go out to dinner or spend quality one on one time with a girl, then that is dating.
DID YOU LEARN ANY GOOD DATING TECHNIQUES FROM SUCCESSFUL GUYS THAT YOU HUNG AROUND?
I learned most of my dating techniques from the TV show blind date! When I first saw that how, I would watch and think the girl was interested in the guy and then hear her say at the end that she had no interest. Then I realized, I am not reading my dates properly. The biggest thing I learned is that people are not honest. Most people (wrongly) believe, that it is better to lie and say nice things than to be honest about your feelings. After watching many blind date episodes, I began to find better ways of determining if a girl is really interested. For example a hot make out is a good hint she likes you!
Also, I used to think that to win a girl I had to do something magical and impressive, but after watching the people on Blind date, all I really have to do is be myself and hang out. If a girl agrees to go out with you, that means she is interested on some level. Rather than think I need to win her, I started to think, I have her as long as I don't act like an ass and mess it up.
Finally I learned that everyone has different tastes and desires. So if a girl wants a guy who is very tall, or blonde, then she won't be into me. I can't get mad about that and shouldn't try to change her mind. Sometimes I may feel a girl is stupid and really should like me, but I don't waste my time trying to convert. I just present myself in the best light and if they are into me great, if not, I move on. There are many many more who don't need convincing.
YOU'VE GOT A HUGE NETWORK OF WHAT SEEMS TO BE, VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN, AND SUCCESSFUL MEN. WHAT ADVICE DO YOU GIVE TO GUYS WANTING TO EXPAND THEIR SOCIAL CIRCLE TO INCLUDE THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE?
First of all decide what kind of girls you like. Not everyone is into the wild Hollywood party girl. Some may like a more conservative girl who likes being in the country side. But once you know what you like, then go to that place. That is one reason I moved to Hollywood. Then once you are around the type of girls you want, you need to become the center of gravity. Create the fun or activities that people enjoy. If you are the creator, then you will be the center of attention. Not only will this get you noticed, when they notice you, they will see you in a positive light since you are the leader.
GOING OFF THE LAST QUESTION, WHEN YOU STARTED OUT IN THE LA NIGHTLIFE YOU PROBABLY HAD TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE VENUES. WHAT ARE SOME WAYS OF GETTING "IN" WITH THE CLUBS?
When I first arrived I went to the hottest club at the time with a friend of mine (wednesday nights at the Standard). He said you can't get in. I said, thanks and left. The next week we came back and he said, you can't get in. The next week I came back alone, since my buddy gave up already and the door guy let me in! After that I didn't miss one Wednesday for a year. And every night that I went out I got at least one phone number and called it a day or two later.
When going to clubs, remember that they are running a business. They want money and hot girls. If you want to get in, show up with girls or be ready to throw money at them. If you have hot girls with you, stand behind them.
Figure out who is the decision maker regarding getting in and be sure to talk to that person, don't start asking the security guard if you can get in. Remember the door guy is busy so be ready to get to the point. Look the guy in the eye with confidence and say, "Just me and these 2 hot girls and $50 Also, if you know any of the promoter names say "I am on Joe's list and Fred's list" Even if you aren't on the list, if you seem to know the promoter, that helps, cuz for all this guy knows, you are the best friend of that promoter!
WE'RE BOTH SHORTER GUYS. I'VE FOUND IN THE PAST, IT CAN BE INTIMIDATING TO APPROACH WOMEN THAT HAVE ALL THESE "MODEL" 6'5 TYPE GUYS LEECHING OFF THEM. HAVE YOU LEARNT ANY TECHNIQUES OF DEALING WITH THIS HEIGHT DIFFERENCE WHEN YOU APPROACH WOMEN IN CLUBS?
That stuff does not matter at all. On average you may find more tall girls who simply will not hook up with you since you aren't tall, but most don't seem to care! Anyways, my initial approach is just to be friends anyways, so if I think she is hot, I will talk to her and try to hang out with her. I dated a 6'2 girl and a 6'1 girl and I am only 5'7... and I encouraged them to wear heals when we went out cuz I thought it was hillarious!
WHAT CAN GUYS OUT THERE DO TO BECOME "COOL"?
Find the scene you like and hang out in that scene and just focus on having fun. The cool part comes when you relax and naturally begin to fit in. In fact, that is what the word "cool" comes from is you are just chilled out and not stressing about how to act. This may sound crazy, but if you are in a scene and not feeling cool, go off on your own for a bit and take deep breathes and soak it in. when I used to go the hot clubs in hollywood and didn't know many people, many times I would sneak off to the back of the dance floor and just dance alone and take deep breaths to let myself relax into the vibe....
I BET YOU HAVE SOME WILD STORIES. WHAT WAS YOUR CRAZIEST EXPERIENCE AT A CLUB?
My wildest experiences have been at my house parties in the hot tub or steam room. But in a club, having the hottest little 20 year old kissing up on me and grabbing me never gets old.
YOU'RE INVOLVED IN THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. DO YOU HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH PORN STARS, OR DO YOU PREFER WOMEN THAT AREN'T DIRECTLY INVOLVED IN PORN? HOW COULD GUYS GET IN WITH THESE TYPES OF WOMEN?
I am not really interested in dating a girl in porn because I think my girl having more intimacy with unknowns than they do with me would be confusing. I don't mind strippers however and have dated many of them. If you want to hang with porn girls, then get into that scene. Move to
Hollywood, start going to parties that porn people and porn girls go to, make friends and network, and eventually (make take a few years) you will be dating a porn girl.
WHAT ARE SOME TECHNIQUES FOR HOLDING A CONVERSATION WITH A WOMAN YOU JUST MET?
First of all, your questions must come from a place of honest interest. If you don't give a crap what her sign is, don't ask! Try to come up questions that will tell you what she does for fun... where does she go out, how often, with whom. What does she do during weekends, etc. when she tells you something she does that you also do or want to do, let her know. If she is interested, then suggest, "lets do that together"! Then get her phone number and so that you can do that fun thing together.
Keep in mind that a great fun conversation at the bar and your mutual 100% enthusiasm for a date may dissipate by the time you call her a few days later. Usually only about 1/10 phone numbers can be turned into a date. When you call, be prepared to leave a phone message that compliments her, is funny, and gets right to the point: you have this great event going on and you want to know if she wants to join.
WHAT ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF FLIRTING THAT YOU USE REGULARLY?
Again, be honest. If you are interested in a girl, then tell her what interests her. Don't make stuff up... if her eyes are great tell, or if her dress is hot, let her know. If she seems uncomfortable with the compliments, then save them for later. if she loves it and gets closer, keep them coming. But watch out if you are moving fast, she may have a wall that appears suddenly! Don't get caught running full speed into her wall!
DO YOU HAVE ANY PARTING WORDS OF ADVICE?
Always overbook. Unless you have a girl that you have talked about having some sort of special relationship with, then when you go out, invite all the girls you like out at the same time.
Especialy if you haven't hooked up with any of the girls, do not be afraid of inviting them all out at the same time. Then if you do hook up with a girl, be very careful and take your time before you start phasing out the other girls just for her. Sometimes, as soon as you get rid of all the other girls, she is over it!
Take care of yourself to look good. Buy new clothes that are unique but also fit into the scene you are hanging with, and get your body in shape!
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