Everyone Is Not Booing You

Everyone Is Not Booing You Image
DO YOU HAVE A DON'T-QUIT ATTITUDE?

Do you truly believe that no matter what you do, how many times you try, how many times you fail, that you will always succeed, in the end?

A few weeks ago, Sonja and I were watching the Jets beat Minnesota 29-20. I'm a huge Jet fan as all of you know, huge Brett Favre fan.

It was a boring game in the beginning, both teams slugging it out, really not much of anything going on. Jets should have been more up at the half than they were -- they were up 9-0 at halftime -- but they just couldn't score, they couldn't put the Vikings away. In the second half, Brett Favre -- 41 years old, broken bones everywhere; he looks like a bag of bones when he's back there -- limping, elbow tendinitis... guy is a warrior -- rallied the Vikings back to within a few points. He threw three touchdowns, and would not quit. So the Jets marched down the field and silenced the Vikings. They scored what looked like the game winning touchdown. They were up by a few points again. But Brett Favre never quits. He marched them right back down the field and came within a few points, again. The Jets couldn't put the Vikings away, but what happened next? Brett Favre, with his don't-quit attitude, threw an interception, the Jets ran it in, and the game was pretty much over at that point.

The bottom line is, in sports, two teams will fight to the end, the better team usually wins, and the one that never quits never ever looks at their mistakes. A quarterback throws an interception, and he thinks to himself, "Man, that was embarrassing -- I just did that in front of 75,000 people... 75,000!" He goes back out the next series and doesn't think anything of it. He leads his team down the field, and what happens; they get a touchdown and they win the game.

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE FIREMAN ED IS LEADING A CHEER AGAINST YOU?

Let's say, in life, you have a big sales presentation, and it doesn't work. You don't close the deal, you're obsessed with it for three weeks; thinking about every mistake you made and what you could have done. Or, say you're a man and you see a woman standing there in the supermarket, or in the elevator, and you want to talk to her, but instead you spit out some words and the woman doesn't respond. You can get this in your head, and for the next few weeks, you end up thinking about all the things you could have done, or what you did wrong.

That's not having a killer attitude in life. You go out on a date, and it's not a great date and the person doesn't call you back. What do you do next? You think about what you did wrong. You even call your friends, and they become the assistant coaches of your life, and you recap the entire date; could I have done this, should I have said that? Should've, would've, could've. Athletes don't do that, ever. Sports teams don't do that, ever. But people do that all the time. And I know some of you are thinking right now - But this is my emotional life. This is my livelihood."

Hello! Is Brett Favre not emotionally invested in the game of football, is this not his livelihood? Is this not his passion, is this not who he is? Come on, folks! It's just a date, it's just an approach, it's just a total stranger -- get out there and start enjoying this process and start failing!

I remember I was coaching a woman a few years ago, and she says, I really want to get married in the next year." I said, Do you have a date this week? If you have a date a week, 52 men a year, don't you think you'll meet somebody fantastic?" She says, "Absolutely." So what did she do? She went on 5.2 dates for the entire year because she was obsessed the other 49 weeks with what went wrong on the 5.2 dates.

Life is nothing more than a numbers game. You need to keep trying, and you need to develop that killer instinct. If you don't develop the killer instinct, you're not going to be able to find the person you want. Not only that, you're just going to be obsessed with every little move you make... and that is not a method of success in business, in life or in sports.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Real Social Dynamics - How To Get Her Chasing You
David Lieberman - Get Anyone To Do Anything
Joe Navarro - What Every Body Is Saying

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Why Cant I Get A Second Date

Why Cant I Get A Second Date Cover
SUSAN J. ELLIOTT IS A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER, GRIEF THERAPIST, EXPERT COMMENTATOR, ATTORNEY, POPULAR BLOGGER, AND AUTHOR OF "GETTING PAST YOUR BREAKUP: HOW TO TURN A DEVASTATING BREAKUP INTO THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU".

READER QUESTION #1: CANT GET SECOND DATES

I can't seem to land a second date with any woman I go out with. I am good-looking and charming enough to get the first date, so what could I possibly be doing wrong on the actual date that women seem to shun me once it's over with?

I am courteous, a good conversationalist. the only thing I could think of is that when a woman offers to pay, I let her. Could that be it? Can you just give me some tips on what to do on a first date to ensure more dates after that?

"PHIL"

SUSAN J ELLIOTTS ANSWER:

Dear Phil:


This is Dating 101. And you're failing it.

FIRST DATE: THE MAN PAYS. PERIOD.

First of all, my advice is to women. Ladies please do not ever offer to pay on a first date. Ever.

Second of all, why would a man allow a woman to pay on a first date? I think that you need to re-evaluate this. You say you are courteous, but if you have asked a woman out on a date, it is courteous to pay for that date.

The deeper question for me is, why don't you know this? What is it about you that allows you to let women pay on a first date? Are you cheap? Are you just completely out-of-touch with dating etiquette? Do you think it's "okay" or in the name of "equality"?

It's not okay and there are many ways in which women are not yet equal and men aren't helping them out. Men were more than happy to stop being chivalrous by giving up a seat or allowing women on elevators first.

But men don't seem to be "giving" anything in the equality department, just taking. There is still a long way to go before things are completely equal, and until such time, men should be paying for the first date since they are most often the ones who ask.

I also think they should pay for the second and a woman would be advised to offer to pay for a tip or if at the movies, popcorn on the third date, but she still should not pay for all of it or even most of it.

FIRST DATE: CONVERSATIONALIST

Are you sure you're a good conversationalist? What do you talk about? How does your date respond to what you talk about? There are a few things that ensure good conversation on a first date:

1. LEARN TO SIT BACK AND BE QUIET for a while if you're the one who is very loquacious. If you're shy, then try to initiate some topics.

2. NEVER TALK ABOUT YOUR EX or the horror show relationships you've been in.

3. DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR TERRIBLE CHILDHOOD, your former addiction to cocaine or the patch on your arm that may or may not be cancer.

4. KEEP THINGS LIGHT. Listen to what is being said. This is not only to show interest in your partner but to access who he or she is. If you're always talking you can't be listening too closely.

5. ALLOW SILENCES THAT ARE COMFORTABLE. Sometimes on a date, people are so busy rushing to talk to fill the silence that they become uncomfortable in the endless banter. You should be able to allow some time for breathing room and just being relaxed.

I don't know if these two things will ensure more second dates, but they're a start!

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tranceboy - The Lazy Mans Guide To Seduction
Ken Lingu - How To Give A Good Massage
Haldeman Julius - What Great Men Have Said About Women

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Confidence By Herbal

Confidence By Herbal Image
Hey guys,

Today's newsletter may be a bit short because I am learning how to type on a Dvorak keyboard. I would love to take the week off, but the newsletter must go on! For more info on what that is, check out my blog or google.

I'm on day 2 and I am up to 10-15 words per minute or so. Yikes.

Here's our question for today:


I'm the kind of guy that wants to come across as humble yet confident. I don't particularly like bragging and I am working on portraying my personality through stories as you have suggested. However, sometimes I think that I am talking too much about my self and do not want people to think I am self-centered or conceited. Any tips on how to come across as purely confident and not insecure cocky?

-CW


Hey CW,

I wouldn't worry too much about being humble. Confidence is important, of course, but humility really isn't.

Some of the most attractive guys are very cocky.

In fact, a lot of "being confident" is being who you are and being proud of that. If you're naturally a cocky guy then it's a lot better to go with that than to try to fight it.

Insecurity, when you think about it, is really just not fully accepting something about yourself. A confident person accepts himself, including his flaws AND his strengths.

My friend Tyler from Real Social Dynamics has a great phrase, "the self always comes through."

In other words, if you're not a cocky guy, don't worry about it. People will see you for who you are.

There is, however, one guideline to keep in mind. You should never put other people down to make yourself look good. This always has the opposite effect.

I'd like to write more, but this new keyboard is killing me. I should be typing fast again next week.

Tynan



Suggested free e-books to read:

Dr Robert Antony - Total Self Confidence
Steve Scott - Supreme Confidence With Women

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Ashton Kutcher Hates Valentine Day

Ashton Kutcher Hates Valentine Day Cover
ASHTON KUTCHER thinks that Valentine's day sucks eggs and he wants the world to know it. Personally, I think it's just a ploy to promote his movie, which is fittingly titled"'s "but hey, that's just me.

ASHTON KUTCHER can't stand Valentine's day and actually came up with a great idea that I think we should all implement into our lives.

Ashton thinks that everyone in the world should love everyone for 364 days of the year, and on Valentine's day, they should take those 24 hours to hate the people they hate full on.

That way, we get the hatred out of our system in those 24 hours and can move on to loving everyone for the next 364 days.

And don't just hate them; actually "them that you hate them. Go ahead. Get it off your chest. And if they freak out, hey, tell them that Ashton Kutcher gave you this advice and if they have a problem, they can take it up with him at http://twitter.com/aplusk.

DEMI MOORE must be loving this"'s "hits theaters on February 12, 2010. Be sure not to check it out and beat up everyone on your hate list. Remember: Ashton Kutcher said so.

And if you want to find someone this Valentine's day, head over to MATE1.COM to find the one for you.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Tony Horton - P90x Plus Alternate Calendar
Tony Horton - P90x Alternate Calendar
Real Social Dynamics - How To Get Her Chasing You

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Few Steps To Change Your Friendship In Love

Few Steps To Change Your Friendship In Love Image
There are many cases in which you can find the best method of finding a true romance that is to create and discover a love friendship from the present relationship. Of course there are many shows appearing upon in which you can gaze these relationships, but wonderful magic of love friendship is that it is so perfect just like two people, who draft a true romance. However, a true romance can be seemed right in your love friendship, but it just you have to work harder in order to generate it. Here are some of the points given in order to make your friendship into love.

* Most of the times, when you are comfortable with your friend you just overlook that true romance also begins when other person watch you as a sexual human being.
* If you are a person having shy nature then you can try medium flirtatious comments when you are messaging up the person you are with.
* Instantly, someone has to make the move if you both desires to turn in into a true romance and a love friendship
* Jealousy is one of the greatest methods to attain a person of your love friendship.
* Nothing will be going to help them to notify you, whenever they recognize that you are not around them always like they use too.
* Always be sure that they should see your love friendship which perhaps, is possible by creating yourself as a big part of their lives, so that they must realize how much alone they might be without you.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Dan Bacon - Super Charge Your Confidence Now
Christian Godefroy - How To Change Your Shyness

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Top 7 Romantic Songs For Dating

Top 7 Romantic Songs For Dating Cover
"Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton

"My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion

"Fix You" by Coldplay

"My Funny Valentine" by Chet Baker

"Un-Break My Heart" by Toni Braxton

"Take My Breath Away" by Berlin

"You're Still The One" by Shania Twain


Suggested free e-books to read:

Sri Swami Sivananda - Practical Lessons In Yoga
Elena Petrova - Scam Prevention Tips For Online Dating
Steve Cowan - No Drama Online Dating

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Getting Your Ego Out Of It

Getting Your Ego Out Of It Cover
Remember that "I" voice in your head that says "I wouldn't do that?" That's your ego, reinforcing your identity, and he's a tough case. Your ego can drive you to greatness; listen to enough Kanye West lyrics, and you start to think that he wasn't born a better rapper/producer/entertainer than everyone else, his ego just pushed him to work harder until he became better. His self-conception was so great that, whenever it was assaulted by someone telling him he couldn't do something or become something, he worked so hard at it that he became the best.

That's what Kanye's lyrics would lead us to believe. Or maybe, as some of his interviews and his cameo on South Park would support, he is a genius who likes gay fish. Who knows? When your ego isn't driving you to greatness, it's usually holding you back from the simplest little actions. All those "I would never..." moments, your ego is getting in the way and stopping you from doing something that might cause embarrassment, or even worse, it's preventing you from conceding that you were wrong about something. Christian always tells the story of when he was a punk rocker in high school, and said he'd never listen to Dave Matthews Band.

He associated DMB with the "popular" kids who wore Birkenstocks, drank, and partied. In his mind, those kids and their clique were losers. Of course, he now concedes that he simply didn't know how to fit in and get along with them, and that rejection of their scene and everything in it was a defense mechanism. In fact, he's a big Dave Matthews fan these days. So what are your DMB's? What are the things you'd never do, never say? The boundaries for what you can get away with - especially in the context of meeting, dating, getting sexual with women and trying to attract women - are a lot further out there than you'd expect, and when you really tap into what you want and who you are, and say "damn the torpedoes" to that voice in your head telling you that you can't, some amazing things can happen.

Now with that said, that voice is there to protect you. Some of the things that your ego tells you not to do are probably in your best interest not to pursue. One saddening trend that I've seen in the pickup community is the value placed on doing "out there" behaviors merely for the sake of dong them. A guy will act in all sorts of strange ways to show the other guys how hardcore he is, and just how little he gives a damn what others think about him. It's just like the punk rock community - big middle fingers and bad haircuts to "the man" that's been holding them down for so long (or in the case of the Cult of PUA - the women).

Clearly, that's no way to go either. Those ego impulses, which we can broadly group as "try-hard-ism," manifest themselves in other ways - bragging about how many "sets" a guy opened, the hotness of a girl who's number he got, how many women he can get, and all sorts of other things that guys who actually do well with women don't talk about... because it's just assumed between them. There's not need to prove anything - to each other, to their egos, to anyone. Life is abundant and they get women.

That's how the cool kids roll. Ok, sometimes we brag about how hot some girl was... but we rarely go so far as to kiss and tell. Along those lines, one of the unfortunate aspects of being marketed as a dating coach is that having lots of photos with hot girls is a sort of credential, a metric of one's own personal success. So now there are all these guys running around with the idea that getting photos with hot girls is some kind of benchmark. It's kiss and tell for a facebook generation, and it threatens to put the focus on the wrong things. Amongst men who get it, no one cares how many photos you get with hot girls, unless you're sleeping with a lot of girls and get women.

And we only care then, if that's what you really want. If you want a girlfriend but are sleeping with lots of girls because you have commitment issues, well... Some people would call that a "rich man's problem", but what real men want for their friends is that they be living in accordance with what they want for themselves. Not what their egos want.

Now look - I'll concede that it's cool to do the models and bottles thing. If you've never been surrounded by five 9's at a nightclub while the DJ spins songs by Akon about being "so paid", if you've never pulled a stripper, if you've never done any of the things that you secretly deep down would really like to try, then no one who you could truly count as a good friend is going to cast you into the fray for going out and trying to be someone else for a bit. If you try it and you decide it's not for you, great... your curiosity has been satiated. But if you genuinely enjoy that which your ego secretly (or not so secretly) wanted for itself, that's equally great. Not only have you evolved and started living more in alignment with what's right for you - even if it is strippers, asian massage parlors, and other such self-indulgent pursuits - but you probably averted what would have been a pretty nasty mid-life crisis. The point in all this, where the rubber meets the road, is here: becoming a man with a sexually abundant life might mean making some changes to the way you think, the way you behave, the way you live... and hopefully nothing too drastic. The more open you are to trying anything and seeing what gets you results, the sooner you'll consistently be getting the results you want.

You'll learn firsthand what works, and behaviors that once seemed forced and required conscious thought will become unconscious instinct. You don't have to try this stuff with friends and at family reunions. But when you walk into a bar two towns over where you're not planning on seeing anyone ever again, all bets are off. In this way, it's important to have an "open dialogue" with your ego. Concede to it that you might be doing some things that make it uncomfortable, but that you'll always reflect on them, why you're doing them, and that you'll see if they're getting you towards your goals. The social calibration and insight that comes with hundreds of random conversations with strangers is something that can't be bought, and the confidence and behavioral change that accompanies it all is the reward for stepping out beyond your ego's short term interests.

Most importantly, these new behaviors and beliefs will be the result of real effort on your part, and consequently, a genuine transformation, based on your real experiences and evolving identity. The people you know from back in the day won't think you're acting weird or anything - they'll just notice a newfound confidence and assertiveness, and probably a few more women hanging out around your place and you will be able to attract women. Isn't that why we're here to begin with? Because you want a sexually abundant life and get women? Tell your ego, right now, that you have a goal in mind, and that nothing - not even the voice in your head saying "I can't" - is going to stop you.

Find out more about how to attract women today.



Suggested free e-books to read:

Shawn Nelson - The Dating Resource Report
Michael Pilinski - 3 Perfecting Your Dominant Male Attitude
Michael Hall - The Sourcebook Of Magic

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Fix It

Fix It Cover
A little old lady was in the kitchen one day, washing the dishes when suddenly a little genie appeared beside her.

"You've led a long and good life" the genie said, "I have come to reward you by granting you three wishes. Ask for anything you want and I will make it happen."

The old lady was surprised but cynical. Not really believing that anything would happen she decided to play along for a minute. "Okay," she said, "turn all those dirty dishes into money." With that there was a big Poof! and the dishes had turned into a big pile of cash.

"My!" said the old lady, staggered that it had actually worked, "Perhaps you could make me look young and beautiful again?" There was another big poof and the woman now looked younger and was very good looking. Excitedly she carried on, "Can you turn my dear old cat into a handsome young man?"

Once more there was a big Poof!, and the cat was replaced by a handsome young man. Smiling devilishly she turned to the young man and said "At last! Now I want to make love with you for the rest of the day and all night, too!"

The young man just looked at her for moment then replied in a high pitched voice, "Well you should have thought about that before you took me to the vet."

Suggested free e-books to read:

Bobby Bodenhamer - Identity
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