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Embrace The Unknown

There you are, alone at a bar waiting for your friends to arrive. You are standing at the bar only a few feet away from a woman who is also standing alone at the bar.

This woman is beautiful. She is everything you think you want.

You see her take a sip of her drink, play with the straw, look at her watch and check her cell phone. She looks around the room and, for just a split second, your eyes meet and you have a moment. Then she quickly looks down, and looks back at her phone again.

There you are, standing there alone at the bar with your hands in your pocket waiting for you friends. Apparently she is also waiting for her friends.

Your mind starts racing. You start thinking to yourself, "What can I say? What can I do?"

There are so many clues in this situation! She checked her watch. She checked her phone. Obviously she is waiting for her friends.

It is very easy to walk over there, look at her and say, "Obviously you are waiting for your friends. My friends are late too." You could start chatting with her.

The problem is that your mind starts messing with you. You don't see the obvious or, even if you did, you start to freak out the second she looks at you.

You start to ask all those questions in your head like "What can I say" and "How can I get this amazing woman's attention?" Listen, though, to what you are saying.

You already have her attention. She already looked over at you.

It is because you are afraid and overcomplicate things so much that you don't see the obvious signs in life. You don't even see the wonder of this moment. You don't even realize what a powerful moment this can be because you over-analyze things so much.

You have such a fear of embracing the unknown, that this is what is going to happen to you in this scenario: You are going to stay standing where you are and another guy is going to walk up and start talking to her.

Then her friends are going to arrive, and you are going to watch she and her friends get into a great conversation with him and his friends. When you go home, you are going to wonder what you could have done.

The truth is that you already know what you could have done. It is just your fear of the unknown that doesn't allow you to do it.

Every day you need to face the unknown. Every day you need to push yourself to do something of which you are afraid.

Otherwise, the unknown will continue to scare you and you will end up dating women who don't intrigue you and to whom you are not attracted. There is nothing worse than having sex with a woman who doesn't intrigue you.

You also don't want to ever end up in a relationship with a woman who doesn't intrigue you. Fear of the unknown is what drives us to loneliness.

Suggested free e-books to read:

William Cobbett - Advice To Young Men
John Burton - Worth Knowing
Ali Nomad - Sex The Unknown Quantity

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loki

Why Do New Years Resolutions Fail

Ah - this is the time of the year again, when everybody becomes melancholic. Another year past. Time for a new resolution. But stop! Do you remember those resolutions from last year? Did you succeed? If not, read on. May be there is a way to succeed and 2006 will be the year when you follow through on your resolutions.

Statements abound about this day, the 31st of December: "Another year has past. Now it is already 2006/" (no, another couple of hours to go!). "I am getting older, wiser, more matured. Nothing has changed. I will always be the same. Will something ever change?"

Does this sound familiar to you? How come we carry those beliefs? How come some things never change? Oh - this is wrong. This change, but are you a part of it? This sounds better!

Let's see, where we can start?

Let's start with January 1st, 2005. Have you taken a look back at the beginning of 2005? With what kind of goals did you set out to "conquer" this year? Stop smoking? Lose weight? Change job? Fall in love? Get married? Get divorced? Get a better life?

How much have you achieved? How long did the resolution last? Till the end of January? February? When did you give up and why?

Oh, so many questions!

There is however, a way to make those solutions last. Really, believe me! It is easy to just say the sentence "I want to..." (fill in the blanks with whatever your goal is). Things then change already - a tiny little bit. Because, you create awareness in your mind that you want to change, but oh, oh, oh, old habits die hard.

So more is needed. Writing down the goal is another possibility. You need to know that problems cannot be solved, if there is no outcome!

Ah - there it is - your goal. Nicely written. But hey - write it in positive words, since the mind doesn't understand negatively formulated statements.

Don't write: "I want to lose weight" or "I want to stop smoking". Write, for example: "I want to live a healthier and happy life." This may sound funny, but is needed.

What else to do? Well, the easiest way to start is actually to start with the end in mind - sounds like Steven Covey and the 7 Habits, right?

And right he is. Start imagining, as vividly as possible, what will happen with your goal achieved. Really, as vividly as possible. Where do you want to be in the end of 2006, what you want to do, how you will look like with your goal in mind. In which environment do you operate, what behaviours will you exhibit. How you want to be like. See, what kind of capabilities you need to do so. Play a movie in your mind! What kind of person will you be, when you achieved the goal, what is the effect on you, your environment - yeah, think of this as well! If you want this promotion and you finally reached the goal, what will it do to your personal life, to your family? To you? Write it down, if you want. Your very own script!

Another very short example: You want to lose weight? See yourself in the slim body. Go into this body (associate with it - this is important!)! See yourself buying different type of clothes. Hear how people compliment you. Feel great inside. Wow, this can feel good, really.

Now, the harder part is coming. You need to work on the behaviour. Write down, what you need to do - going to the gym, eating lesser and so on. Write a program, month by month - milestones. Write a goal, for every month, how much you want to get your weight down. Don't forget to celebrate yourself - the rewards. What will you get, when you achieved or exceeded your milestones. Be aware that you won't always achieve them, because your body also need adjustment, your mind needs adjustment. That then is the time when you can get back to your script, to your written down goal as well - to reconfirm.

And while you write down those actionsteps, be as specific as possible. Yeah, I know, it is work, but hey - you want to change, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't have read so far down already?

Now, a tougher part. Everything we currently do is a habit, a program, running in our mind. So we eat too much because somehow, we have conditioned us to do so. Like, for example, cigarette smoking. You smoke, because.... you believe it looks cool, makes you confident, makes it easier to approach the opposite sex. Like that. You need to work on this. What else can you do to become more confident, instead of smoking? How else can you approach this beautiful girl over there? These are the substituting capabilities that are needed in order break this habit of smoking, eating and so on. Ask your friends, to help you. Check with your family, as support.

You will need them anyway, because along the year, there will be a time when you want to give up, when nothing moves in the direction, so then you need support (you can also send an e-mail to me, by the way, and we work on it!). And, again, read your script.

Are you ready to go for it? Really? Tell me about it, I would be honoured. Or, otherwise, I see you in December 2006.

HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2006

(NLP in Asia)

nlp

mind

coaching

personal change

malaysia

Suggested free e-books to read:

Daniel Rose - The Sex Revolution Handbook
Amy Waterman - Your Guide To Stronger Relationships

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loki

Herbal On The Disbelievers Of Pickup

Here is a great post by Herbal (Tynan) on why alot of guys don't "get" pickup or more specifically the seduction community. If you haven't yet read Herbal's debut instructional manual Make Her Chase You, you should give it some time!

Mystery's show on VH1, The Pickup Artist, has gotten a lot of mainstream attention. As a result there are scores of people in that audience trying to wrap their minds around this whole "pick up thing".

I've read a few message boards where people are discussing the show, and almost universally trying to discredit the pick up. Why are people so against pickup? First instinct might be to assume that girls would be against it, but that guys would all be excited about it. Think about it - it promises to fulfill the #1 goal for nearly every man on the planet.

Here's what I think is happening.

There are two big categories of men who have problems with pickup. I'm going to talk first about the small group, and then about the bigger group.

The small group, which by definition are also an outspoken group, are the natural alpha-male types. They were discussing the show in the Tucker Max Forums, where a lot of these guys are. These are guys who have NEVER had problems with women. They naturally picked up enough attractive habits and qualities that they've never had long periods of time where they couldn't get girls. It's natural, and even correct, for them to hear about this stuff and say, "What kind of loser would need this? Getting girls is EASY. Why would you possible wear a stupid hat?"

While I don't necessary agree with their attitude, I don't have much of a problem with this group. Pickup isn't for them anyway. They already get it. Sure, we take their qualities, amplify it, and do it better than they do. We can appear natural if we want to, although going over the top is more effective. But the bottom line is that they're satisfied and don't need pickup to get girls. Fair enough.

The second group of haters are generally the worst section of society. I'm talking about the people who are so close minded that the solution to a problem can be thrust in front of their face and they'll look the other way. Unless an idea is force fed to them, foie gras style, they won't recognize it.

Pickup works. It's a fact that I've witnessed and lived. Done correctly, there is really no valid criticism against it. It is positive towards women. It is focused on self improvement. You don't become someone else, you become a better version of yourself. Pickup artists have gotten book deals, TV deals, and are collectively paid millions of dollars per year. Despite taking in the least attractive guys, we get very few complaints. Still, these people submit to their knee jerk reaction and believe, "Nope. That can't be real."

Most of the media caters to that very idea. Why? If the media became something that we had to THINK about, we'd be upset. As a society, we enjoy sitting in front of the idiot box and getting our beliefs fed to us. As long as the beliefs they feed aren't far away from what we already believe, we accept them as fact and move on. If they reported that pickup worked, every guy in America would have to think about his life and think about what it could be.

A friend of mine is the founder of one of the major pickup companies. He told me that a reporter came to do a story on him, but that it never got published. Why? The reporter later confessed to him that he was instructed to trash them, but refused to because he discovered that they were legit. His editor WOULDN'T ALLOW HIM to write positively about pickup.

I've found that the more I disregard public opinion and mainstream knowledge, the more success and happiness I've found. Following the mainstream is a great way to have a very average life.

The Neg

I've got to write about this too, because the neg is the most misunderstood and most often criticized piece of pickup strategy. This is ironic, but still not surprising, since the neg might take up 5 seconds AT MOST of the entire pickup process, which often lasts for hours.

The media, as well as detractors from pickup, like to call the neg an insult. That's not what it is. There was recently a study by scientists, which was covered by the Freakonomics Blog, that discusses people insulting their partners. Steven Levitt, the author, calls this negging. It's not.

Here's what negging is, plain and simple. When you approach a woman, you are implicitly putting her on a pedestal. You're saying, "Because you're so beautiful and I'm just some average guy, I will make the effort to come talk to you." The neg is a quick jab not intended to lower her self esteem, but rather intended to let her know that you are confident enough to be yourself around her.

A classic neg is pretending to pick a piece of lint off her sweater. Does that make her feel bad about herself? No. It just shows that she's NOT on a pedestal, and that you'll treat her like a normal human being. It remedies the awkward imbalance of social power that comes with any interaction where you approach her.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Robert Cialdini - Harnessing The Science Of Persuasion
Dating Insider - The Science Of Picking Up Women

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loki

He Ll Hug The Girl

When men typically tackle a problem, in a very simplified model, they'll assess it, and take a strategic approach and solving the solution. This is where a lot of guys run into problems in the pick up community, is that they're too methodical about it. I remember a client last week asking me: "So, where in the m3 model, do I start implementing kino tactics". For a second there I paused and I was like "okay, stop right there".

In all fairness, I had the EXACT same approach when I first started the game. While Mystery has done a great job of breaking down the pickup process, I don't think that his model is all encompassing and applies to all situations. Just like in poker, while the game is inherently the same, there are so many different types of game styles: heads up, cash games, etc. There are so many ways to approach pickup as well: indirect, direct, what have you.

So while I give a lot of credit to Mystery for pioneering the indirect approach, I believe it to be toxic to have too much tunnel vision.

One of the "ah-ha" moments I had with regards to pickup in the early phases was when I was going out with a friend named Christian, and he would what we call "natural game", one of his first critiques to me was that I wasn't having any fun and that I was using wayyyyyyyy too much strategy.

Now, I'm not condoning getting drunk on a nightly basis, but for a week, I dropped everything, just went out as a normal guy and worked on being fun cool and social. My results were MUCH better.

Again, while I do credit Mystery's work a lot, I feel that a lot of men take everything in his book for gospel, there really needs to be a balance and more importantly, it's important to realize that much of the generic advice you got before the game still applies, such as being in the moment.

Okay, so at this point, I've probably left you a little confused, but don't sweat it, I think I have something that can help you curb your problems.

There are many models in pickup and just for intensive purposes we'll take the ABC's of Attraction and the Mystery Method.

Both models, while they are different on paper, are very similar in the steps and progression as they do follow the same principles.

The part where I'll see most guys screw up is getting to the D phase in the ABC's and the kino escalation with the Mystery Method.

The problem is that most guys will go into the interaction verbally and not convey and dominance nor will they implement any general kino tactics.

Back when I was first beginning to learn, I really found Lovedrop's lecture on Kino tactics to be extremely helpful. For the beginning to middle portion of the pickup, keeping things simple, all a PUA really needs to do well is apply general kino tactics and BT spikes ( buying temperature ). And really, if you can do these two things well, it'll take care of 80% of the pickup.

So for example, lovedrop will go into set and run the stripper name routine and when the girls respond with laughter, he'll kino escalate and it it's absolute clock work.

So for all the newbies out there, try not to overcomplicate things, instead, SIMPLIFY. For the time being, if you're just starting out, I would highly encourage you to keep things simple and use the basic template below:

* BT Spike

* Kino

* Continue conversation

If you can rinse and repeat that process, it'll set up a real solid foundation for the rest of the pick up. Again, just using some common sense and advice you received before you got into pickup, realize that humor is an absolute must for a PUA, if you can't make a girl laugh, there is no way in hell she'll be attracted to you and that especially applies to cold approach pickup in clubbing environments.

One of the best educational experiences I had in my PUA journey was working a bit with Joe D and he got my started with improv comedy. It really teaches you timing, tonality, and more importantly it teaches you how to think on your feet (ergo, you can ditch the canned material, and truly be in the moment). I spent a lot of time with this in unison with watching plenty of stand up comedy and over time I integrated this a lot into my personality.

Not only was it extremely helpful with my pickup life, but it truly added a new dimension of fun and happiness to my existence. Being able to create and share laughter with others is truly something you cannot put a price on.

Anyway, back to the pickup, when you can effectively BT spike, that gives you a lot of power and more importantly, it creates that small window for you to physically escalate.

So for those that have participated in VA bootcamp, you've seen Lovedrop demo his stripper name routine and right afterwards, he'll hug the girl and bite her softly on the neck and that conveys so many things. It conveys that he's playful, fun, dominant, and not hesitant of physically escalating.

So for those guys that are struggling out there and are having a tough time getting to the next level, hone your BT game, without it, you'll sink, trust me. Don't overcomplicate the entire pick up model, having solid BT game, IMO, is 50% of the work you'll do and if you watch all of the top PUA's in their infield videos, you'll notice it yourself.

Suggested free e-books to read:

David Deida - The Way Of The Superior Man
Dr Peter Davies - What Will The Neighbors

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loki

How To Find The Best Dating Advice

Online dating has emerged as one of the most popular tool for internet users. Websites and companies are earning huge amount of money due the online services. Men and women both join the dating group to find suitable partners but there is a big difference in the speed, thinking, personality, mind set of men and women. Here are few online dating advice for men to get the best partner.

Don't get jealous or frustrate in any situation. Women like the partner who accept them in every situation and don't expect further changes in her. If you don't like anything about your partner, then wait for the right time. Do join social get-together, women expect their partner should be famous in social circle. Never discuss anything regarding the past, always talk about present and future plans. Try to bring more humour in talk, women loves the person who has calibre to make them laugh and happy.

There are many websites in internet arena who provide the dating services, but always choose the reputed websites to go with. It is recommended to do a proper research before signing up for a website. Don't make fake profile about yourself; if you expect truth from others be honest first.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Gordon Ray Parker - Fox Hunting The Art Of Dating And Seduction
Fj Shark - How To Be The Jerk Women Love
Wings Of Success - How To Date The Hottest Women Online And Offline

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loki

Book Review I Dont Care About Your Band

Julie Klausner is a comedienne who has had enough heartache and disaster in her dating life to be able to write about it in a comical manner and not seem too jaded about the whole thing.

The fact that Julie Klausner discusses her sex life so openly coupled with the very real realization that she's a comedienne make for a hysterical read with way too many unbelievable stories.

If you're in your 30s and dated a host of douchebags in your 20s, you'll feel like Julie Klausner was living your life and wrote about it because it's just that good.

The only unfortunate part of this book is that Julie insists on analyzing every little detail of her escapades, which sort of took away from the enjoyable read and also creates delusions of what may have really been going on at the time.

And although she sounds bitter at times, Julie Klausner does a great job at relating to all the women out there who are dealing with dating disasters on a weekly basis.

You are not alone and Julie Klausner just proves it. And of course, she had the balls to write about it.

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

By Julie Klausner

Suggested free e-books to read:

John Alanis - How To Get Newspapers And Mags To Write About You
Christian Godefroy - How To Change Your Shyness
Chad Manning - Honest Truth About Woman

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loki

Confidence Interval

With success comes more confidence in the concepts of game. Before I had any success I was somewhat embarrassed to discuss what I had read; I felt somewhat pathetic. Now, I can discuss and defend what I know with a degree of confidence that I am not familiar with. Perhaps the confidence comes from an increase in testosterone, or because I have seen game in action and know that it works, most likely both. Regardless, I have had some valuable discussions with various people since then.

The first was with my younger brother. In a strange quirk of genetics I have four brothers, three who could reasonably be described as lesser ALPHAs (one was recently offered a threesome by two very hot girls). So I was surprised and somewhat pleased when one of them (not Mr. Threesome) opened up to me regarding his long-term relationship with his girlfriend.

He confided that he has problems with feeling treated like a little boy in the relationship; that she frequently acts like his mother. He also confided that ever since he cheated on her the relationship has been even worse. I explained the theory behind shit-tests and how it applied to his relationship. I told him that she was acting the way she was because he was not acting in a way that made her feel safe and stable. Cheating only made it worse because it made her feel even more unstable. I gave him some examples, and told him that if he could begin passing her tests the relationship would improve. It took a number of restatements before it really sunk in, but it was not hard to tell when it happened. When it finally clicked he let loose with a long string of swear words, most directed at himself for being so stupid. Later that evening I introduced him to some of the better posts about shit-tests and asked him to let me know the results. I am still waiting but I expect a good report next time I see him. I have hope for his relationship.

I had another conversation about the same subject with one of my roommates. I few weeks previous I introduced him to some of the same posts on shit-testing. His response was not nearly so positive. After my date the subject came up again and he said that he disagreed with the idea. I asked him to be more specific. He said that he felt that acting the way the posts recommended was demeaning. I proceeded to defend and clarify the concept. I argued that it could be used that way and that some people did use it that way, but how it was used did not change the fact that the theory was accurate. I realized that his resistance to the idea came from the fact that he felt that it was wrong because of the way it was portrayed. With some discussion I was able to convince him that the theory was correct and at that point he began to apply it to his own relationships describing his previous girlfriend and their problems. This was a rather surreal experience for me as he is also an ALPHA. He has never had problems attracting women, and I was pleased that he took my point of view seriously once I presented it in a palatable manner.

The turning point in the discussion was when I explained that moral standards are not in themselves attractive, but, when an ALPHA has them they can become attractive. In the hands of an ALPHA they can become a set of standards that can apply to the women he chooses. Since he is already attractive, having those standards and more importantly ruthlessly applying them can become a turn on for the woman. If he has the moral strength to apply those standards in the face of temptation he is displaying that he is strong enough to control himself. The woman finds that the value of her currency in the relationship, sex appeal, is reduced, and his currency in the relationship, stability, is increased and his moral standards become a DHV. When he made the connection he went quiet (a major achievement, he is a very loud person), and the discussion was over. He seemed affected by the realization and I hope that the ideas I presented will help him, but that remains to be seen.

My goal in learning game was to attract women, but I appears that it has a far broader effect than I expected. My small successes have given me a great deal of confidence in many areas, not just approaching women. I suspect that what I am doing will completely change my life, the only mistake now would be to stop.Alpha Game 2011

Suggested free e-books to read:

Thundercat - In10se Interview
Steve Scott - Supreme Confidence With Women

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loki

David Deangelo Launches His Marketing Home Study Program

We all know HOW David DeAngelo sells his dating advice, and we all know that it WORKS.

I've always been interested in business, marketing, and entrepreneurship. In my mind, David Deangelo (Real name: Eben Pagan) is definitely the guy to learn from if you're interested in this type of thing.

I know many of you are interested in this as well, and that's why I'm informing you as it is NOT RELATED AT ALL to this blog specifically.

Having said that, David DeAngelo is such a big name in the community that I would be doing an injustice if I didn't mention that he's just launched a home version of his Get Altitude Entrepreneur Training. See below:

This is the same training that was held two months ago in Los Angeles for $10,000 per attendee. WOW!

ONLY 36 HOURS REMAINING

Eben stops selling this 15 (?) DVD home-study program TOMORROW or when supplies run out. (From an email I received an hour ago he has around 200 out of 1000 left). I've bought my set, and eagerly await it's arrival in the mail. (The video clips on the website convinced me - truly amazing marketing insights) I think it's reasonably priced for what he's offering, considering the Mind of Mystery was $2500

Eben has a few video clips up over at the website, so if you're even just a bit curious you owe it to yourself to check them out here.

Suggested free e-books to read:

Nancy Friday - Forbidden Flowers More Women Fantasies
Sri Swami Sivananda - Practical Lessons In Yoga
Chris Jackson - How To Get Her To Make The First Move

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loki

Embrace The Unknown

Why Do New Years Resolutions Fail

HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2006

nlp

mind

coaching

personal change

malaysia

Herbal On The Disbelievers Of Pickup

The Neg

He Ll Hug The Girl

* BT Spike

* Continue conversation

How To Find The Best Dating Advice

Book Review I Dont Care About Your Band

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

By Julie Klausner

Confidence Interval

David Deangelo Launches His Marketing Home Study Program

ONLY 36 HOURS REMAINING

Follow Me

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HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2006

nlp mind coachingpersonal changemalaysia

The Neg

* BT Spike

* Continue conversation

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5 By Julie Klausner

ONLY 36 HOURS REMAINING

Follow Me

Popular Posts

Archives

nlp

mind

coaching

personal change

malaysia

RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

By Julie Klausner