If you approach a woman and enter her space without thinking, you will have short-circuited a good deal of the fear that prevents you from making first contact. In this moment of approach you are a predator and she is the prey. Summon that masculine ferocity in your gut and go for it. There's no substitute for an attempt. You'll learn more in those few seconds than anything I (or other "gurus") can teach you. If you really want this you have to make the charge at some point.
What you'll find after you've become accustomed to the cold approach is that your fear notwas, in fact, holding you back. There will be some awkward moments at first, and maybe you'll have a hard time thinking of what to say in the beginning, but you will start to trust yourself.
The conversation in your head will die down the more you flex your "approach muscle." This is an important point. The art of the pick-up is something you can learn, but the responsibility for fine-tuning your game lies with you. The more you work on it, the more you'll find what works for you - humor, obliqueness, intensity, props, etc. - and you'll also start to intuitively know which girls will respond.
Perhaps men lie to themselves (as I have) by saying they're "assessing the situation" before rushing in. Let me ask you this: What do you really get from further considering a good situation? In my experience, waiting is a delay tactic. There's almost never a valid reason to hesitate; you gain nothing by observing at a distance while you contemplate an approach. Just walk over!
I've been meeting girls for over a decade, and I know what I'm doing. In the beginning, I tried out different methods and learned which worked for me. It's kind of like shooting around on a basketball court. You'll start to learn what shots are yours, and what part of the court works best for you. You may be trying out different approaches on many types of girls. Taking the sports analogy further: at his peak Michael Jordan was dunking the basketball numerous times a day. It became so second nature, and his confidence was so strong, that he knew before leaving the planks that the ball was going through the rim. I'm the same way with pick-up. I know with a high-degree of certainty that a girl is going to give me her phone number well before I ask. It's not perfect, but generally speaking, I'm spot on. If I don't feel it, I don't take the shot. Like Jordan, I'll circle back and look for another approach rather than duff it.
This will happen to you as well, as you gain experience. In particular, you'll start to feel which girls are your sweet spot. Maybe they all are, and God Bless You! But most of us mortals play better with a certain type of girl than with another. Finding this out will greatly increase your success. Perhaps you get a thrill from penetrating the bitch shield of a hot red-head; maybe you're drawn to the sweet innocence of a Southern Belle; or, maybe, you're downright disarmed by the humor of a genuinely funny woman. Learn what you like.
Another reason to avoid hesitation: circumstances change rapidly and often unpredictably. If you're eyeing an attractive girl, chances are other men notice her, too. And of course her lover could call on the cell phone, or a boyfriend could come back from the restroom. The longer you sit around thinking about approaching her, the longer you're waiting for conditions to change, often for the worse. As you become skilled at approaching, the voice of self-consciousness in your head will tone down and you will start acting swiftly to capitalize on good situations.
Suggested free e-books to read:
Joseph Matthews - Meeting Dating And Seducing WomenDan Bacon - Becoming A Man Who Naturally Attracts Women
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loki
