Funny story to illustrate this point. I remember one time when I was out with some friends - we were discussing the blackberry messenger application. If you haven't used it, it's like Instant Messaging for blackberry users. Critically, it tells you when someone has read your message, so you can't get away with the plausible deniability of "I didn't see your message come through" if you have BBM.
I saw some women who were all on their berries (I swear, in NYC its either all iPhone or blackberry) and approached them. I rarely use "opinion openers" but in this case I was genuinely curious, so I asked them how long they know a guy before they feel comfortable adding him on BBM.
For some reason, they all looked at me funny and kind of shut me out. I did it to a second group, same response. This was nonsense; I've had this convo with other girlfriends and I know they like to talk about it.
Then I realized that with these two groups I'd just approached, I had my head buried in my blackberry looking at BBM while I was talking to them. Duh. Very little eye contact, not commanding body language, none of it so I tried it again on a third group of girls, while looking them in the eye and you know, actually _engaging_ them, and we were off to the races.
Lessons learned? Do the following stuff every time:
EYE CONTACT
- you should be making eye contact 70% of the time you're talking to someone
- you should only break eye contact to the side, not downwards
- you should be making direct eye contact anytime you give a compliment
BODY LANGUAGE
- you should be comfortable touching her within 10 seconds of saying hello. not too much... just a slight touch
- you should be rocking in and out on your back foot - generally, you should come in at a 45 degree angle
- you should be smiling
DELIVERY
- your first few sentences should be no more than 10-15 seconds long
- you shouldn't give explanations or apologies
- you should be speaking to the whole group if it is not a direct compliment
So these are some of the very basic, very important things to do within the first minute of an interaction in order to attract women. They're subtle, but getting them wrong is going to betray a lack of confidence and deservedness and will hinder your chances to get women.
Funny thing is, when I'm not "warmed up," I sometimes mess these up too. So when I'm out with clients and if I haven't done any "cold approaches" in awhile, my first conversation of the evening has become what I call a "systems check" conversation.
Geeky? Sure. But its just a reminder. Here's how:
Find a very, very attractive girl, and give her a direct compliment. Your goal is not to pick her up, but to force yourself to focus on all these little things so that they're kind of locked into your head for the evening.
I'd say that 80% of the time you get a bad reaction from a girl, its from messing up these fundamentals, so getting them right at the start gets your night off to a good start.
If you're going out tonight, do a little system check of your own and see how it works for you.
Suggested free e-books to read:
Wayne Ross - The Complete Guide To Attracting WomenWayne Ross - The Complete Guide To Handling Women
Jackson Almor - How To Pick Up Women 2000
Keywords: carlos method kurre swedish movements decibel guide mastering trends being michael history tips street approaches brian caniglia secrets kevin persuasion mastery notes secrets mature hottest women online
0 comments:
Post a Comment